Never use shadow clones to do your paper work
by gentlemankitsune
Summary: When Minato tried to offload his paperwork to multiple shadow clones, he unknowingly changed the fate not only the elemental nations, but the fate of his son as well. Naruto will have to try his hardest to cope with the mistakes that his father made, or suffer the consequences of international war. Harem-ish Yugito Temari Fu Kurotsuchi Mei (the first chapters have been edited)
1. the very stupid idea

Never use shadow clones to do paperwork

**AN/ I never did like the concept of Naruto suddenly being surrounded by women who all have romantic interest after a dopey speech or two, and are all completely okay with sharing him.**

**So this is my response to that.**

Konoha, 14 ½ years before present time

The secret got out.

A secret that should have remained secret.

But didn't.

The secret that Minato Namikaze was married to one Kushina Uzumaki, and that they were expecting a male child.

It doesn't matter who leaked it. Or what leaked it. Or how it was leaked.

It only matters that it did get leaked.

And as soon it happened, all the Elemental Nations had heard it.

The secret.

The secret that really should have remained secret.

Village hidden in clouds, a week later

"Raikage-sama!"

Ai looked up from lifting his weights to look at his secretary, Mabui, who appeared distressed and slightly out of breath.

He quirked a brow "yes?"

"I have urgent news. It appears that Minato Namikaze is expecting a child with a woman named Uzumaki Kushina."

Ai's eyes grew wide with surprise. This was big news indeed. Whenever a kage secured a progeny, they were usually kept it a secret until at least they were old enough to be enrolled as a shinobi, for safety reasons of course. But knowing that there's a kage who had a vulnerable, political bombshell of a child currently being made meant that there was a new dynamic to be had.

"How reputable is the source?"

"Very reputable."

A secured progeny is extremely important information, but it opened up many pathways of action. It really boiled down to what Ai was going to with the information.

He could send assassins to kill the woman and the child in an effort to strike at the fourth hokage's heart. However, that plan was doomed to failure. Even his best assassins would never be able to make it into Konoha, find a woman based only on her name, and kill her; especially due to the fact that she has known relations with the Yellow Flash.

Not only that, but if it was ever found out that Cloud did send assassins, it could mean another war, a war that they weren't prepared to fight yet.

A war that he didn't have the allies for.

Allies.

Wait.

This could be a golden opportunity for Cloud and Leaf to enter an alliance. The war that had just ended had been a stalemate with all sides conceding to a peace-treaty. There was a lot of animosity between the leaf and the cloud at the moment, but Ai could use the information of the Namikaze child to his and the cloud's benefit.

"Mabui, get me an arranged marriage document!" Ai yelled with great gusto all at once.

Mabui, who was standing there watching him think for a solid minute, suddenly stood straight at attention and gave a quick "yessir."

Amongst a population of trained assassins, saboteurs, and spy's; one would think that an arranged marriage between two such ninja's of opposing sides would lead to disaster. But Ai had met and battled with Minato on the battlefield more than once. He was a shrewd, cunning, and very powerful man, but most of all, he was kind. Not in the sense that he hesitated to kill, but in the sense that he only killed to protect the people of the leaf village. If there was an event that could tie the two nations together in peace and harmony, Minato would probably accept it.

Now came an equally hard part.

Who was he going to get to give consent that their daughter be married off to a ninja of another nation, a nation that they don't have that best of relationships with?

It had to be within the kage bloodline that much was for certain. Anything less would be an insult to the hokage.

Ai lacked very many female family members.

Ai lacked very many female family members that nearly newborn.

Ai thought for a moment and snapped his fingers in a way that one could construe that he had an idea.

Yugito Nii.

His brother-in-law's daughter.

She wasn't directly related to him, but she was a Jinchuuriki, and that was just as good, if not better. She was also 14, but he didn't have much of any other choices.

'This is a great plan.' Ai said, as he began to sign the information of the marriage on the document that Mabui given him

Village hidden sand, same time

"And how reputable is this information?" a man with the garb of a kage spoke to a trembling subordinate.

"Very reputable, sir."

The kage for the village hidden in sand sat in thought for a while. While Sand and Konoha hadn't fought together or against each other in any grand scale fights, Sand was still considered one of the weaker ninja villages. The fact that the Hokage was having a child could be used to create an ally that would bolster the military clout of the hidden sand village.

It was a good thing that he had a daughter who was two years old at the moment. Although he wasn't very sure about the prospects of using his daughter for a bargaining chip in political struggle, he had to think of the good of the village and her people.

"Get me an arranged marriage document."

The village hidden in stones, same time

"And how reputable is this information?" a very short man with the garb of a kage spoke to his secretary

"Very reputable, sir."

The very short man sat in silence for an extremely long time, obviously in thought.

The third shinobi war had been tremendously horrible for their side of the conflict. Well, the war had been horrible for everyone included in the fighting, but it had been particularly horrible for them.

The yellow flash had single handedly decimated about 1000 iwa shinobi, which caused Onoki to want to create the treaty between them that had just been approved. So even if there was peace between them at the moment, there was a lot of bad feelings involved against Konoha at the moment, and vice versa.

The feelings of hatred that the deaths of many of their shinobi were extremely strong. Strong enough that Onoki knew that war would eventually break out between them again. He had been through every single shinobi world war, and had no want to be involved in another.

An arranged marriage between the fourth's son and his granddaughter could potentially create an environment where they would eventually get over their hate of each other. Even if it would be a slow process.

Mostly because the child in question wasn't even born yet, and his granddaughter was only two.

"Get me an arranged marriage document."

"Sir?"

"Just do it"

The village hidden in mist, same time

"And how accurate is this information?" a short man with a scar running down one said to his spymaster.

"Very, sir"

The fourth mizukage gave the spymaster a blank look.

And remained in that position until the spymaster felt uneasy enough to back slowly away from his commander in chief.

One would have to feel extremely uneasy to even think of do something like that.

'He seems different lately' the spymaster thought to himself, as he went back to his daily work.

The village hidden in waterfalls, same time

"Is this information accurate" the jonin-in-command said to a chunin.

"Yes it is"

The non-descript man sat in silence for a short while

"Get me an arranged marriage document, this could be our chance to secure a position amongst the big five."

"Y-Yessir!" the chunin gave a nervous and slightly louder-than-it-should-have-been reply once he realized the significance of his task.

Konoha, 14 years before present time

Minato felt really smart at the moment.

No, he didn't just feel smart, he felt like he was a genius, a god in man's clothes.

Why? A reasonable question.

He just found out the best use of shadow clones known to man.

Eradicating the scourge that all battle hardened veterans with years of experience on the battlefield had to face at one point or another.

Paperwork.

Why is paperwork the scourge of all battle hardened veterans with years of experience on the battlefield? Another good question.

Because meticulously looking through documents, bills, new laws, etc. was just not in the hardwiring of people who survived by making split second decisions that saved their lives and the lives of their compatriots.

And so, he sat back to bask in his brilliance as we watched four different shadow clones work through said paper work. He knew the backlash was going to be a bitch, but at the moment, he just did not care.

He should have cared, as all four of the clones signed a different marriage document at the same time.

When he received the memories, he would just vaguely remember making peace separately with all of the other villages, and brush it off as a delusion as he went to nurse his headache.

And that children, is why you never use shadow clones to do your paperwork. As one child would soon find out the hard way.

Omake 1:

Kushina could feel the lump of her 4 month old pregnancy kick her hand as it rested on her belly.

She giggled in uncontained exuberance. She had been excited beyond belief when she found out that she was going a mother, and even at home when there was nothing happening, she was always smiling contently to herself.

Because she was going to be a mother! And she was going to be the most kick-ass mother in the entire fucking world!

She continued to smile down at the lump that her hand was resting on, when she felt something that worried her. It was like a vibration coming from her belly, kind of like the unborn child was shivering.

Kushina had been briefed on all the stuff about pregnancy, but had never heard of anything like pre-baby shivers. So she immediately got up to go to the hospital to check it out, out of fear that something might be wrong with Naruto.

When she got there and had all the tests that she could possibly go through to convince her that nothing was wrong with the child, she made her way back home and concluded that the whole baby shiver thing must have been her imagination.

**AN/ you probably know what I'm getting at, at this point. The concept of the story is basically 'What would happen if Naruto was suddenly married to 5 kunoichi who all didn't know him, hated his guts, or detested the marriage for putting them in a situation that they suddenly became sister wives to each other.'**

**This story is planned to be a comedy-romance-drama. iI's kind of hard to balance all those concepts, but I don't think that this story could have been written any other way.**

**Mei won't appear immediately, and she won't have much of a presence in the first couple of chapters. But I do mean to make her a big part of the story.**


	2. the calm

Chapter 2

Iwagakure no sato, kage tower, present time

"Why do I have to look over the chunin candidates?" the sour, old kage mumbled.

"You know the answer to that" his secretary answered.

"There weren't even any iwa genin participating"

"Well there were a lot of interesting genin that participated, according to the information we got."

"The chunin exams didn't even finish! Konoha got attacked mid-way through!" the kage said, raising his voice.

The secretary looked at him sternly. "Stop trying to get out of work, it's important to know what cards your rival has."

Onoki sighed. "Fine, fine. What _interesting_ genin participated in the exams?"

She handed him the files

"Dismissed." He said off-handidly

She walked out of the kage office.

Onoki sighed again. 'Let's see, the Sabaku children? One didn't fight, one got outsmarted, and the other is a psychopathic Jinchuuriki. An aburame, didn't fight. The _prestigious_ Uchiha, got his ass handed to him. A Nara, outsmarted the Sabaku female and gave up right after. A sound ninja, didn't even show up. A genius Hyuuga beaten to the ground by a nobody Uzumaki.'

Wait.

That last name sounded familiar.

Onoki struck a thinking pose.

He then got up with a speed that no one would expect from and old man just over 4 ft. tall, and flew out the door, into the hallway, and into another room marked 'filed documents.'

It was a rather large room.

However, Onoki knew exactly which date to look for.

October 10th, the day that the Kyuubi attacked Konoha, killed the Yellow Flash, his wife, and his child.

It was a few days later that news reached Iwa and the document that detailed the arranged marriage between his granddaughter, Kurotsuchi, and the as of yet unnamed child of Namikaze Minato was filed, and meant to be forgotten in the expansive 'filed documents' room.

He found the offending document.

It read thusly:

_I, Onoki the third Tsuchikage, would like to offer a peace treaty between Konoha and Iwa._

_This peace treaty is to be facilitated by the marriage of my granddaughter and your unborn son, in an effort to bring together our two villages and to eventually break the hatred that both of our villages feel for each other._

(Minato's response)

_I would love nothing more than peace between our villages. And even if I am slightly shocked that you would suggest the marriage between your granddaughter and my child in order to achieve it, I wholeheartedly agree to it._

_After all, the only thing that can break down hatred is love._

Onoki snorted at that last line.

After that page, was the page that detailed the whole thing, which included the biological birth names of both the parents, and the actual marriage form signed by Minato Namikaze. At the bottom it noticed Onoki that a copy would be kept in Konoha as well.

He then flew back to his kage room, and looked at the picture of the Uzumaki child.

'That kid's a carbon copy of the fourth! Not only that, but he holds the last name of the woman that was pregnant with him! We should have noticed that!'

Onoki then looked over at the details of the marriage document form.

'Assuming that this kid really is the child of Minato, then the document is still valid!'

Leaf was still weak from the attack from sand and sound, but there were rumors that they were going to get Tsunade of the legendary Sannin to lead it to prosperity again.

'And Iwa is going to be right next to them when they do,'

Onoki smirked

He flew out of the office again and while on his way out, he said "get me Kurotsuchi, and Akatsuchi" to the secretary working at the desk on the lower floor.

"Yessir."

Village of Sand, filed documents room, present time

Baki was acting as the stand-in kage.

And as his duty as stand-in kage, he had to look over the filed documents from the past.

It was a huge pain in the ass, as he was forced to do some of the most mind-numbing work in the world.

But his eyes suddenly narrowed from their previous bored states.

'Uzumaki? I've heard that name before.'

Baki then got up to look at to look at the list of chunin candidates in an effort to prove his suspicions true.

Village of clouds, kage's desk

Ai looked at the chunin candidates list

'Uzumaki?'

"Mabui!" he shouted, without looking up

She ran into the room as soon as she heard him shout

"Yes?"

"Getet me the document detailing the arranged marriage between Yugito Nii and the child of Minato Namikaze."

"Sir?"

"Now!"

"Y-Yessir"

Village of waterfalls, village leader's tower, present time

Shibuki was going over the chunin candidates list.

'Uzumaki Naruto? I could have sworn I saw that name somewhere in the 'filed documents' room.'

He went up to check, just to confirm his suspicions.

Gates of Konoha, present time

"ACHOOO!" a sneeze rang out from the mouth of blond haired teenager

"You okay brat? That's the fourth time in a row." A particularly busty female said with slight concern.

"He's okay. Someone's just thinking about him." An extremely tall, and weirdly garbed male said.

"Or some people." A woman with black hair and a pig in her arms added in.

"Oh, I know! Sakura-chan just realized how awesome I am, and just can't stop thinking about me." Naruto said in triumph.

Tsunade leveled questioning gaze to Jiraya "Sakura-chan?"

"The girl that he's been harboring wood for" he replied.

"Shut up Pervy-Sage." The teen remarked.

"Stop calling me that!"

"Stop being a damn pervert!"

"Shut up both of you! We're at the gates!" Tsunade shouted

They both gave a meek, synchronized "okay" and went to the gate guards to show them their papers.

After that Tsunade said that she was going to the tower to get acquainted with the responsibilities of the kage before her inauguration, Shizune followed her. While Jiraya said something about doing 'research.'

'Fucking perv.' Naruto mentally remarked.

It had been a _long_ couple of weeks, and Naruto wanted nothing more than to just eat some ramen, take a shower and pass out in his bed.

Naruto made to get to Ichiraku ramen, when he saw a girl standing in the middle of the road looking all around her with a bewildered expression on her face.

She was dark-skinned, had lime-green hair, and wore a mesh torso cover, as well as mesh shorts. Over that was a white halter top with the midriff exposed, and a white battle skirt. She also had the symbol for a village that looked vaguely similar on the forehead protector on her arm.

Naruto went up to her "Hey, are you lost."

She looked at him with a small amount of shock on her face. "Oh! Uh, no. I was just taking it all in."

"The village?" he asked

"Yeah, I've never been out of waterfall before. So this is just…" she seemed at a loss for words.

"New?"

"Yeah, new."

"Well if you want, I could show you around the village." Although he only wanted to mind his own business, and do some relaxing by himself, his conscience didn't feel comfortable knowing that he let an unknown shinobi wander around Konoha

"Really? I couldn't do that, you're probably busy."

"I just got back from a mission, so I'm free. Plus, I can't stand the idea that someone doesn't know the heaven that is Ichiraku ramen." She looked at him with wide eyes, and looked lost for words for a second.

"… Well, if you insist"

"I do!" he then began walking in the direction to the said ramen stand, with her right next to him.

"You have a name?" he asked.

"Fu."

"Nice to meet you Fu, I'm Naruto Uzumaki." He said with his trademarked foxy smile.

Hokage Tower

Tsunade was confused.

As was Shizune.

As was Tonton.

The reason for her confusion stemmed from the fact there was a man waiting patiently in the chair opposite the Hokage desk. While a jonin with a pineapple haircut and a scar on his nose searched leisurely through a filing cabinet.

"Hello?" she ventured.

She got the attention of the man with the pineapple haircut.

"Who are you?"

"Tsunade of the Sannin."

His face morphed into one of surprise.

"Hello Tsunade-sama, I'm Shikaku Nara. I'm in charge of external affairs in the case that the kage is either predisposed or dead." He said with a formal bow.

"Okay, well I'm here in order to get accustomed to the job of Hokage."

"I'll get Hiruzen's secretary for you, she'll tell you all you need to know."

"Okay."

He walked out of the room.

That just left her, Shizune, Tonton, and the man in the chair in a slightly awkward silence.

"So, who are you?"

"Oh! I uh- I'm Shibuki, leader of the village hidden in waterfalls." He replied nervously.

She raised her eyebrows in surprise. "So why are you here?"

"I just came to confirm an agreement that was formed a while ago. But apparently Nara-san cannot find it his half of the agreement."

Shikaku Nara came in just the next moment with the secretary behind him.

"Well, I hope that you get everything sorted out." She followed the secretary out of the doorway, with Shizune and Tonton in tow.

Shikaku looked at Shibuki "I couldn't find the marriage form anywhere recent, but it could be in the archives somewhere. However, it could take a while to find it. Why do you need the document anyway?"

"Because I believe that the son of the fourth is still alive."

Now Shikaku was thoroughly surprised.

"Really? Well whether or not that's true, it could take days to find the paper. Do you have a hotel somewhere?" Shikaku asked. Although he didn't believe Shibuki for one second, he still had an obligation to please any important dignitaries. Even if he did show up out of nowhere with absolutely no forewarning.

"Yes. It's at the Burning Leaf."

"You might want to check yourself in."

Shibuki and Shikaku left, with a chunin escorting Shibuki to his hotel, and Shikaku leaving to form a search party for that unknown document that apparently existed.


	3. before

Chapter 3

Konoha, Ichiraku ramen

Ayame didn't know what to make of the situation unfolding in front of her eyes.

First Naruto shows up with a foreign kunoichi, he then orders large amounts of ramen, and now they're eating the ramen faster than she can serve it up.

They literally eat the ramen faster than it takes for her to put her ladle in a pot, dump the contents in a bowl, and add the extra ingredients; like pork, or shrimp.

It was simultaneously disgusting and intriguing to watch.

Not only that, but they were having a slightly comprehensible conversation.

"So what… village are… you from" Naruto said, while taking breaks in between chunks of words to slurp up ramen.

"The village… hidden… in waterfalls." she replied

"So that's… what you… meant... when you… said… waterfall."

"You… thought I was… from just… a random… waterfall… in the…wilderness?" she gave a light laugh. How she managed to do this without completely clogging up her windpipe would remain a mystery forever.

"Well… I've never… heard of… hidden waterfall." He said in indignation

"We share… a border."

"I… never… paid attention… in class."

She gave another light laugh "neither… did I."

They both laughed this time.

"So… why are… you here?"

"No… idea… leader-sama… just requested… I come… with him" well, more like ordered

"That's… strange."

"Yeah… it is."

Naruto and Fu put down their chopsticks at the same time. Evidently both were full, much to Ayame's relief, as she didn't know how long she was going to be able to keep up.

Ayame then thought that it was _now_ the time to tease her little brother, seeing as she wasn't running around the kitchen like a chicken with its head cut off.

"So Naruto, who's your date?"

They both turned a healthy shade of red, and began spouting out denials in gibberish.

At that moment in time, Ayame decided that it was really fun being her.

Especially when she brought the check.

They both immediately stopped trying to deny being on a date with each other, and promptly began arguing over who was going to pay the bill.

"You're the man, you have to pay." She crossed her arms and huffed

"We're not on a date, the same rules don't apply." He deadpanned

"Well- I uhhhh- left my money at Waterfall." She said nervously

"That is so obviously a lie, and plus, you are a foreign kunoichi in a village that is showing great hospitality by taking you to a ramen restaurant."

Fu then tried to come up a response, but was unable to. She dejectedly began taking her money out.

Naruto would have let her, if not for the fact that she seemed genuinely… angry, or frustrated. Not the kind of anger that came from picking the short stick and paying for a meal. Just a… different kind of anger. Like an anger at the world.

"Well, uh, we could split the bill" he got out nervously.

Her eyes brightened up "Really?"

"Yeah." He took out his gama-chan, and put the required bills on the table.

She then put her bills on the table, right beside his.

The sun was beginning to set.

"Oh! I have to show you something really cool." He said excitedly

"I don't know, it's getting kind of dark…"

"A visit to leaf would not be complete without this."

"What is it?"

"A surprise, but we have to be quick."

He got out of his seat, and motioned Fu to follow him.

Kage tower, 'filed documents' room

"And this is the 'filed documents' room, it's where all past documents, from bills and laws, to mission reports are archived." The secretary told Tsunade.

"Why is this here? Doesn't it seem kind of like a waste of space to keep meaningless documents around?" Tsunade asked. She also idly noticed that it seemed to be bustling with activity.

"They're mostly kept for future references, like if new information comes to light about a previous mission."

"Is it usually this lively?"

"No, they must be looking for a specific document and don't have any idea as to its whereabouts."

Tsunade walked up to a random auxiliary shinobi that was looking through documents in a nearby filing cabinet. "Which document are you looking for?"

The shinobi didn't look up. "A document that specifies the marriage between the dead son of the Fourth, and a Jinchuuriki from Waterfall."

Her eyebrows rose in surprise. "Is there any reason to do that?"

"Shibuki-sama, apparently said that he has reason to believe that the fourths son is alive, and that the contract was still valid."

Tsunade didn't know the fourth very well. She interacted with him from time to time, seeing as he was the student of her teammate. But didn't really care for him, that's not to say that she didn't like him, she just didn't _know_ him. So when she heard that he had died from the Kyuubi attack along with his wife and son, she was saddened slightly, but it didn't bother her greatly.

"Has this been… confirmed?"

"We don't know yet, he won't tell us until we procure the document."

"Does Jiraya know about this yet?" If someone had reason to believe that the Fourth's son was alive, it would make sense to notify him. Seeing as he was the teacher to the Fourth

"No. There hasn't been time, and we're short on manpower as it is. That, and the fact that we have no idea where he is at the moment."

She knew where he was.

And if she found him there doing what she thought that he was doing, she was going to make sure that he suffered divine retribution. After that, if he was still alive, she had to tell him about the suspicions about the fourth's son being alive.

She looked at the secretary. "That's the end of the hokage's duties, correct?"

She gave a nod.

"Good, then in that case I'm going to go inflict blunt force trauma on my teammate."

She walked briskly out of the kage filing room in search of said teammate.

Naruto didn't know what to make of Fu.

She seemed almost surprised that he even talked to her when they first met, and had a personality that spoke of meekness. But she quickly opened up, and produced a happy-go-lucky attitude and an affable personality.

And there was also that expression of complete anger that she adopted when he argued her into paying for the meal.

She was strange.

But he could hardly judge or persecute her for that fact, not with the ninja that he hung around with on a daily basis.

They reached a set of stairs that led up to the hokage monument.

"We're allowed up here?" Fu asked incredulously. She thought it was just a decoration, albeit a really fucking huge and imposing decoration.

"Yeah, although practically no one comes up here."

"Why?"

"I have no clue."

She deadpanned, and he laughed.

When they did reach the summit, she audibly gasped.

The view.

That view of the sunset was the most beautiful thing that she had ever seen in her life. The huge tree at the center of the village hidden in waterfalls was picturesque, but while the tree's setting seemed like a painting, the sunset seemed like an explosion of beauty.

The way that the orange and pinks of the sky marked the big, fat, and lazy looking clouds. The way that the forest looked almost like it was on fire with the reflection of the sun glancing off of it. The view of the bustling metropolis that was Konohagakure. They all combined to make a picture worthy of admiration.

She could also see the damage from the Sound-Sand invasion, but pushed that thought to the back of her mind for now.

"I make an awesome tour guide, don't I?" Naruto said with his arms crossed and his head held high.

"You took me to a ramen stand and the top of the monument, that's not really a tour of the village."

He deflated a bit and sat down to enhance his visage of dourness.

She bent over close to his face, closed her eyes, and procured a large smile. "But this _is_ great" she added.

He reflated.

They watched until the sun set completely.

"Do you need an escort back to your hotel?" He asked.

"If you wouldn't mind…" She had been to the hotel to put her stuff away, but after her traipse across Konoha, she didn't think that she be able to easily find her way back.

"Of course not, it's the job of the host ninja to look after the foreign ninja."

"Says the guy who made us split the bill at the ramen stand." She added smartly.

He started to fumble for an excuse.

"But don't worry about it" she added quickly "It's fine. I'm staying at the Eastern Dragon."

"Oh! I know where that is." Konoha was an extremely large village, even in comparison to other, non-ninja villages. So it was lucky that he knew the position of the hotel, and that was because the hotel was known for being so prestigious.

He then started to lead her back to said hotel.

When they reached the Konoha Proper, she noticed something that she had ignored before.

The stares.

The whispers.

The things that she hated the most in the world were appearing before her again.

When she first came to Konoha, she was astounded by the looks that got.

There were stares, there were whispers. She could feel them on her at all times.

But they weren't born out of caution, they weren't there because she was a reminder to the people about all of the family members and friends who died because of the seven-tailed beetle. They were there because she was a foreign ninja wandering around Konoha.

It was the most liberating feeling that she had ever felt.

But now, and even a little bit before now, she noticed that they were back. The looks of caution, the looks of sorrow, and the whispers that she couldn't hear, but she knew that they were about her. They were back.

It left her confused and sad and angry.

But then she looked at Naruto, and looked at the side of his earnest face, and she didn't feel so mad anymore. Fu didn't know why the people were looking at her like that again, but it comforted her to know that there was at least one person who didn't seem to mind her. If fact, he seemed to really like spending time with her.

Out of the corner of his eye he noticed that Fu was staring at him, facing her, he asked "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." The stare that Fu had directed towards him was devoid of much, if any emotion. As she was rather conflicted at the moment, and put up her emotional mask to avoid any unpleasant conversations about conflicted feeling appearing on her face.

"…If you say so." Being stared at emotionlessly was another tic that he added her list of strange.

He led her back to her hotel, and bid her goodbye.

When he made it home, he fell asleep the moment he fell on his bed.

Tsunade was looking at a puddle of a man.

A man who had bruises, welts, cuts, and even snake bites was floating face-up in a hot spring.

Tsunade was looking at a puddle of a man through a distinctly man-shaped hole that coincidentally was the dividing wall of the female's side of the hot spring resort.

'I pity the man who has to clean up the pool.' She thought, showing absolutely no concern for her dying teammate.

But it was a good life lesson for Jiraya, who for all intents and purposes now felt like exactly what he looked like.

A puddle of a man.

'Note to self – never peep on kunoichi EVER again'

He got up and out of pool, laid by the side of the spring, and began to feel sorry for himself.

Tsunade stepped through the man-shaped hole in wall.

"Get up, I have something important to tell you." She had her professional tone out, signifying that she was going to tell him something important.

His speed at standing up was very slow.

"Shibuki from the hidden waterfall believes that the son of the Fourth is alive."

He turned still as stone mid-stand

"o-oh, and why would he think that" he questioned nervously, with a hand scratching at the back of his head, and a sheepish grin on his face.

Wait. He knew something.

"What do you know?" she asked.

"I don't kn-"

"What do you know?" this wasn't a question from a friend, it was a command from a kage.

He looked around, and she noticed that he extended his chakra sensory vision to make sure that they were alone.

After nodding to himself, he said "Naruto is the son of the Fourth."

"What!?"

"You were going to be told when you were inaugurated, it's kind of a secret. But more importantly, why does Shibuki think that? Was there an information leak?"

"He said that he won't tell us what he knows until we get a specific document from the 'files room'."

"Did he say which document?"

"The document pertaining to the arranged marriage between the son of fourth and their Jinchuuriki."

Jiraya's eyes bugged out of his head.

"What!"

Tsunade adorned a surprised look.

"Didn't Minato tell you? The marriage of his son is kind of an important thing to tell the godfather."

"He told me nothing. Are you sure that the document is legitimate?" Jiraya was talking frantically now, making all the hand gestures that he could with deadly snake neurotoxin permeating his veins.

"They're acting like it is."

"Who's _they_?"

"The shinobi in charge of external affairs."

"Fuck! If they find that the document is legitimate, which I don't think it is, and have proof that Naruto is the son of the Fourth, and go through with the wedding, the secret will get out.

They both stopped talking as they processed the information.

"Well you know what you have to do now? Don't you?" she asked.

"Tell him the truth of his heritage?"

"Seems we think alike."

"Shit! He wasn't supposed to find out until he's older."

"Why?"

"Because if word got out that he's the son of the Fourth, he would get put into the bingo book immediately."

"But why didn't you just tell him and him alone?"

"I couldn't trust him to keep his mouth shut about it."

Silence again fell upon the two of them.

It was a surreal sight, the next Hokage talking about matters of grave importance in an onsen, to a man who looked like he needed immediate medical attention.

Tsunade walked up to him, and did some rudimentary healing.

"This is a really fucked up situation." He said

"Which one? The thing about the marriage and Naruto? Or the fact that I'm healing a godforsaken pervert in an onsen?"

"Both."

She shared his sentiments.

Meanwhile, at the gates

Gate guards Izumo, and Kotetsu were getting ready for the night-shift, when they heard the sounds of talking.

"Why won't you tell us why we're here?!" an agitated teenaged male voice sounded out.

"Because I don't want you to get worked up over nothing." Came a cooler, older male voice.

A man wearing the official sand-jonin garb walked into view, along with the three Sabaku children.

This immediately put them on guard. Even if the peace treaty between the two nations was being seriously considered, they were still considered enemies of the state. The only reason that they weren't being engage in conflict stemmed from the fact that they were walking serenely and seemingly without a care in the world up to the gate guards.

Baki walked up to them and said "I'm here as acting-kazekage and have matters of extreme importance to discuss with the village leader."

They nodded in unison, both wide-eyed and scared shitless.

Kotetsu made a motion to a shadow on the wall, which revealed a hidden ANBU operative.

"She'll show you to the mansion." The ANBU nodded at the group of four, and began to lead the way.

Kotetsu wasn't sure if he made the right call when he did that, because there were no guidelines to go by when a foreign kage shows up at the gates unannounced.

Not fifteen minutes went by when they caught sight of a different group, this one composed of two very large and imposing dark-skinned men, and one slight, fair skinned woman.

She had an agitated look on her face.

It appeared that they had recently been having an argument

The larger of the two men walked up to them.

They both almost shit their pants when they realized who he was. The imposing stature, slicked back blonde hair, straight goatee and mustache, and extremely stern demeanor gave him away. It also didn't help that he was wearing his kage robes.

'The fucking Raikage!' they both unknowingly thought simultaneously.

"I need to have an emergency meeting with the Hokage." Ai said gruffly.

They both looked at each other. Both expecting the other to come up with a plan of action.

Leaf and Cloud weren't on the best of terms. In fact if Konoha ninjas found a Cloud ninja inside their city, they would do their best to capture, interrogate, and execute the spy, because he or she would most definitely be a spy, because he or she would never have been let in in the first place.

But, again, there were no guidelines for when a kage of another village shows up without warning and cordially asks to see the acting kage.

So Izumo finally gave out a shaky "I'll escort you to the tower."

Ai nodded and began to follow Izumo.

Izumo wasn't actually supposed to leave his post, but without any ANBU operatives to show them the way, he was given little choice.

Not ten minutes later, another group of three showed up.

There was a huge and imposing teenager with a happy look on his face, an averaged height female with a mischievous smirk on her face, and an extremely small old man with a look of exasperation on his face. All with the mark of Iwa on them somewhere.

Kotetsu fainted.

Luckily, by this time the ANBU operative was back, which was good, since it meant that the Sand diplomats really were just there to talk to the Hokage, and not wreak havoc across the village.

She just sighed and motioned for the three confused shinobi to follow her.

Omake 2

Tsunade was grinning like a moron, had a stream of blood rushing down her nose, and was excitedly writing down her findings in her notebook.

She was also crouched up in a tree, and was taking turns looking into a spyglass into the steamy male side of the onsen.

Tsunade had never particularly liked looking into the male side of the onsen out of perverse pleasure, mostly because the one onsen that she looked into had been civilian in nature, and the males didn't exactly take care of themselves the way that shinobi did.

But this onsen. This onsen was different. It was chock full of young, charismatic, well-built, and very affectionate male shinobi.

She had never known the pleasure of looking at scantily clad, attractive males, while writing down her findings into her little notebook.

She heard a shuffling in a tree across from her, which scared her into accidentally shuffling in her tree, creating a sound that carried to the first tree.

Everything stilled for a second, until she trepidatiously removed the leaves obscuring her vision to look into the eyes of Jiraya, who was doing the same with his tree.

The tree that he was on had a perfect view of the female side of the baths.

They both stared at each other for a good thirty seconds without either side knowing what to do. Until Jiraya slowly retracted the leaves and obscured her sight of him once again. After he was fully gone from her vision, she pulled her leaves back into place as well, and continued with her perversions.

It appeared that they two Sannin had finally reached a point of understanding.


	4. the storm

Chapter 4

Naruto's apartment 10:00

Naruto was sleeping soundly.

Was.

The reason that he _was_ sleeping soundly stemmed from the fact that he is now awake.

Woken up by Jiraya, who was still bleeding profusely, even after receiving medical treatment from Tsunade.

He didn't immediately recognize Jiraya. It was dark.

So all he saw was a huge bear of a man, who was covered in blood, shaking him from his deep slumber.

Unsurprisingly he didn't take it too well.

"WHAT THE FUUUCK!"

Naruto immediately jumped away from his bed, and onto a nearby wall, which he clung onto with chakra.

Jiraya jumped back to hit the flip on the light switch.

The reason he didn't do that in the first place was because he wanted to wake Naruto up quietly, and gently, hoping to create a safe environment in order to tell him the secret of his family.

That didn't exactly work the way he hoped as evident by the fact that Naruto was currently clinging to a wall whilst breathing extremely heavily.

"Pervy-sage!?" Naruto asked "what are you doing here? Is everything alright? Why are you injur-" Naruto stopped his rapid-fire question asking when Jiraya put up his hand with his palm facing Naruto.

The universal symbol for 'shut the fuck up.'

"I have something to tell you, sit down."

Naruto fell from the wall to land on his bed.

"What's wrong? What happened to you?"

He was seriously getting scared.

"Oh! I just got caught peeking on woman in a bathhouse." Jiraya smiled, closed his eyes, and started rubbing the back of his head.

The universal symbol for nervousness.

"YOU FUCK, I ALMOST HAD A FUCKING HEART ATTACK"

Jiraya's face morphed to dead seriousness in an instant.

"I have something to tell you, sit down." He repeated.

Naruto sat down on his bed, grumbling all the way.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Well?" Naruto asked

Jiraya was trying to figure out the best way to tell Naruto. The situation came as a surprise for both of them.

"I have something very serious to tell you, and I want you to take this seriously as well."

"Okay, I will. What is it?" Naruto was starting to get impatient, and he was still very cranky after getting woken up in such strange manner.

"…"

"Not this again" Naruto complained about Jiraya's quietness

"What do you know about the Fourth?" he asked suddenly.

"The Fourth? Uuhhh, he killed a lot of people in the third shinobi war, his nickname was the Yellow Flash, and he sealed the Kyuubi inside of me"

"Anything else?"

"He was really awesome?"

"When he sealed the Kyuubi inside of you, he was expecting a child with a woman named Uzumaki Kushina."

"Okay, so?"

"She shares your last name…"

"Well there a lot of Uzumaki in Konoha right?"

In class, the students were taught about the Uzumaki clan, who were known to be extremely good at sealing techniques, and also extremely close allies to the hidden leaf. So close in fact that there's a spiral on the back of Konoha flak jackets to commemorate them. Even though Uzushiogakure was destroyed in the war, and the survivors were displaced, with the exceedingly close bonds between the villages, it was assumed by the students of the academy that there were at least _some_ Uzumaki living in the Hidden Leaf, even if they hadn't met any.

"Naruto, you're the last Uzumaki living in Konoha."

Naruto's eyes grew wide, then he got into a thinking a pose.

"No way." He whispered.

Jiraya produced a book out of his pocket, he opened it, and took out a picture that was inside.

The picture was of a blond man, who was smiling profusely, and his equally smiling, very pregnant wife.

"These are your parents: Minato Namikaze and Kushina Uzumaki." Jiraya didn't want to present Naruto's father as 'The Fourth'. Too impersonal in his opinion. He introduced them as they were known by their friends and family.

Naruto fell silent.

"Why?" he croaked.

"Why what?"

"Why are you telling me this now?" a tear hit the picture that he was holding "Why am I just now learning this? WHY DID I GROW UP ALONE, THINKING THAT MY PARENTS DIDN'T WANT ME, DIDN'T LOVE ME?"

He started to sob fully now.

His sobbing was wracking his body with fits.

This was what Jiraya wanted to avoid, although he didn't truly think that he would be able to.

"Listen, kid. Your parents _loved_ you. Whenever Minato wrote me letters, there was always a page _devoted_ to you, about how he and Kushina _loved _you. What Minato did, he did not do lightly, and he always wanted you to grow up loved."

They sat in silence for a while. Naruto's sobbing started to stop.

"You didn't *hic* answer my question."

"Why now?" Jiraya asked rhetorically, referencing Naruto's original question. "There's a chance that something could happen that would reveal the secret of your lineage, and I wanted you to hear it from me before you could be told any other way."

"Why *hic* was it kept a secret?" his crying stopped completely, but there were still tears running down his face.

"If your lineage became public knowledge, you would immediately be put into the bingo book. Your parents wanted you safe above all else."

He became silent. They sat there for a while encompassed in silence and misery.

There was a knocking at the windowsill, outside was an ANBU operative.

He let himself in and announced "Tsunade-sama requests your audience." It was directed to Naruto.

Jiraya blanched.

"Is it…?" Jiraya asked vaguely

The operative nodded.

Academy, administration, minutes before

Tsunade sleeps in the kage mansion.

After all it is the _kage_ mansion.

All kage's before her had lived there, and all kage's after will live there.

So when her discussion with Jiraya ended, she went to kage mansion to get some rest.

When she got close to the mansion however, she was interrupted by a shinobi that told her Shikaku needed her at the administrative section of the academy.

The place where she would do her duties as hokage on a daily basis.

Which led to her current situation.

Standing in front of Shikaku.

Who had a document in his hands.

A very official looking document.

"We found it." That's all he said.

"…"

"…"

"So I suppose we should tell Shibuki tomorrow?" she asked.

"That would make sense."

"…"

"…"

"Is that it?"

"Yes"

"…"

"…"

"Can I go home n-"

The secretary burst into the room and yelled "SHIKAKU-SAN"

He started "Yes?"

"The acting kazekage is here!" she said with a tone of confusion and desperation.

"Here? As en in the village?"

"Here, as en downstairs." Shikaku's eyes went wide. He was a man known for always looking into strategic events that could possibly take place. Knowing that there was a kage directly under him had never been a thought that had crossed his mind before.

"What's he want?"

"To talk to the acting hokage."

"…"

"…" the secretary stood around nervously, glancing at the two of them, not knowing what to do.

"So send him up!" he said with energy. An affliction not extremely present amongst the Nara clan.

"Y-Yes."

He could hardly blame her for her lack of knowledge of what to do.

After all, there weren't guidelines for these situations.

Baki stepped inside, leaving his delegation outside.

He looked at Tsunade, "Hokage-sama, I have something important to ask of you"

"Actually, I haven't been inaugurated yet. Shikaku-san" she motioned to Shikaku "is in charge of external affairs."

He looked at Shikaku, then back at Tsunade.

"This is important for both of you to hear." He decided.

'Fuck, I just want to go to sleep.' This was, strangely enough, thought by both Shikaku and Tsunade simultaneously.

"I believe that you have the sister document to this one." He pulled out a document.

A very official looking document.

Shikaku took it.

His eyes grew wide.

Tsunade took it from Shikaku.

Her eyes grew wide.

"What the fuck" this was, strangely enough, said by both Shikaku and Tsunade simultaneously.

"We need to contact Naruto and Shibuki-dono." Shikaku said.

He pointed to two shadows on the walls, ANBU melted out, and went to complete their tasks.

"Did you find any documents that looked like this in when you were looking for that other one?" Tsunade asked Shikaku.

"No, we were looking for a document that mentioned the Jinchuuriki from waterfall, not the previous kazekage's daughter."

"Could you go find it?"

"I'll… try" he let out a mighty sigh, and walked out.

Baki doesn't really surprise easily.

But that doesn't mean he wasn't confused.

Because he was very confused.

Tsunade noticed his confusion. "I'm sorry, but you're going to have to wait until he returns"

He nodded.

He was, however, a very patient man.

When he brought up his suspicions to the Sand Council, a vote took place over whether or not bring this up with Konoha, and then a vote took place over whether or not to immediately go to Konoha in order to confirm the document.

The first vote was a landslide.

The second was close, but in the end, he was sent as acting-kage along with the Sabaku children.

He planned to only take Temari (who was the one mentioned in the document) but Gaara insisted in being taken along with them. And then Kankuro also expressed an interest in coming along with them.

Baki was being constantly bugged by Kankuro, and to a lesser extent, Temari on the way to Konoha. Luckily though, Gaara didn't express much concern with the actual mission, he mostly focused on his siblings, and their interactions with each other.

Baki reclined into his chair for the wait that was about to transpire.

Ai was very tempted to jump through the window to administration.

However, with the small amount of tact he had, he decided it would be a better idea to politely ask the secretary for an audience with the acting-hokage.

He, along with his entourage, followed the secretary up the stairs to the administration room. Where he noticed that there were three sand shinobi were standing outside of it.

Strange.

The secretary opened the door and announced his presence.

Shikaku also came down the hallway, and into the room, along with Ai.

They then had an exchange very similar to Baki.

Jiraya showed up with a red-eyed Naruto and told him to stay outside.

Shikaku came out of the door again, and down the hallway, and into the 'filed documents' room.

Gaara looked at Naruto.

Naruto looked at Gaara.

Naruto was starting to get nervous

"Thanks" the monotonous voice of Gaara came out.

"Uuuhhh, for what?" Naruto said with a confused tone of voice.

"For showing me that I don't need to kill in order to reaffirm my existence. I never got to tell you how much you helped me out." Both Kankuro and Temari went wide-eyed.

'This is the guy who fixed Gaara?' they both thought.

"Now, I look after the people who are precious to me, my siblings" Gaara even smiled. It was an unpracticed, seemingly painful smile. But it was a smile nevertheless.

Naruto smiled back, and held out a fist. "It's no problem."

They bumped fists.

Kankuro and Temari stayed wide-eyed the exchange taking place in front of them.

Naruto then noticed them. "Okay wait. Let me see if I have this right." He pointed at Kankuro, "You are… Kunkuro?"

"Kankuro" he said with a groan.

"Close enough, and you are… Temari? Right? I feel like I got that right."

"Yeah, I'm Temari."

Both Yugito and Bee looked at this with an eyebrow quirked, but both decided not to say anything out of accidentally offending the leaf shinobi and the sand shinobi.

Usually Bee would jump into any situation with rhymes a-flowing, but thought better of it in this situation.

Then Shibuki and Fu showed up.

Fu was ordered to wait outside, who looked really disgruntled.

Her sleep was interrupted, she was cranky.

That crankiness went away when she saw that Naruto was outside as well.

Shibuki went inside the room to meet up with the other head powers.

"Fu? What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I don't know, a shinobi came in through our window and woke us up."

Fairly standard practice in the shinobi world.

"Are you okay?" she asked, noticing the redness of his eyes, indicating that he had been crying.

"Yeah, I was just told some pretty heavy stuff, that's all. Oh! Sorry, this is Gaara, Kankuro, and Temari." He pointed to each of them respectively.

"Hello, I'm Fu." She held out her hand to Gaara, who looked at it uncomfortably.

"He's not very good with strangers." Naruto whispered to her.

She changed the direction of her hand to Kankuro, who shook it, then Temari, who also shook it.

She looked at Yugito and Bee.

"Who are they?" she whispered to Naruto.

"No clue" he whispered back.

He decided to introduce himself "Hello, I'm Naruto Uzumaki."

Seeing no alternative, the woman replied. "I'm Yugito."

"And I am the mighty Kirabi!" he said enthusiastically, and in rhyme.

They all introduced themselves to each other. Except for Gaara, who didn't like crowds, and was starting to feel uncomfortable.

Naruto noticed that Yugito and Bee were cloud shinobi. "So why are you guys here?" he asked bluntly.

A reasonable question that was unpleasantly phrased.

"We have no idea" Yugito bitterly responded. She had pestered Ai for the longest time on their trip to Konoha about it. Jinchuuriki would usually never be let out the village, but this case was apparently big enough that it warranted a double Jinchuuriki escort. But now, here she was, waiting outside a door for a diplomatic incident.

Needless to say, she wasn't in a good mood.

He looked at Gaara, who shrugged awkwardly.

And then at Fu, who also shrugged.

"So none of us know why we're here?

No one answered.

At that moment, a short man flanked by an androgynous teenager, and a mountain of a man followed the female secretary into the hokage room, with the two escorts waiting outside with the rest of the entourages.

Shikaku also came around the hall, into the room, and almost immediately out of it.

"Do either of you know what's happening?" he asked bluntly.

They seemed shocked at first from the bluntness, but the androgynous one spoke up "No, I take it you don't either?"

"No."

Awkward silence fell upon them. Rock shinobi usually didn't particularly like Konoha shinobi, but the large one just had a childish look on his face, and the androgynous one just didn't seem to have any interest in conversing with either of them.

"So… I'm Fu, who are you two?" she asked.

Then a round of introductions happened. All except for Gaara, who felt even more uncomfortable.

"This is kind of surreal." Kankuro said "Ninja from 5 different nations just waiting outside a door, making small talk, not knowing what's going on. I don't think something like this has ever happened."

They all nodded in agreement.

Shikaku went into the room, and just after that Jiraya poked his head through the doorway.

"Can you all come inside?"

The room was cramped.

Very cramped.

There wasn't supposed to be this many people in the room.

But there was now, because history was about to be made.

On the desk were 4 pairs of documents, all with the hokage stamp-of-approval.

Shikaku was making a Nara Thinking PoseTM by the corner of the room. By the time everyone had filed into the room, he opened his eyes in realization.

"Jiraya, did Minato know the shadow clone technique?" Shikaku asked

Naruto slightly flinched at the mention of his father's name.

"He mentioned it vaguely in one of his letters"

"I think I know what happened."

Tsunade made a motion for him to continue.

"All of these documents were filed near each other, but also separate from each other. This doesn't make a lot of sense because of the nature of these documents one would assume that he would put them at least touching each other. There's also the fact that he _actually_ made these four documents. So my theory is that he used 4 different shadow clones to help with his paperwork, and they all signed a different form at the same general time. After each of his clones filed the documents, they all dispelled, and he forgot about the whole thing. It's an outlandish theory, but I can't think of any others that would make sense."

All the kage level shinobi nodded their heads (along with Shibuki), while the lower than kage level shinobi (sans Shibuki) just looked even more confused.

Tsunade then addressed the lower than kage level shinobi (sans Shibuki).

"About 14 years ago, news got out to the elemental nations that Minato Namikaze was having a child. 4 hidden villages each sent a peace treaty, independently of each other, that would be facilitated by an arranged marriage with the unborn child, which would be carried out once he became a chunin."

All of them had their eyes wide open. Naruto, while slow, had a slight understanding of what was going on.

She continued "He then accidentally signed all four of them independently, and promptly forgot about."

Naruto's mouth was wide open. He was in complete and utter shock.

"T-These documents are…" He searched for the right word "irrelevant? Right."

"On the contrary, they were all approved not thirty seconds ago." She smirked "Yugito Nii, Temari Sabaku, Kurotsuchi, and Fu. Say hello to your new husband, Naruto Uzumaki, son of Minato Namikaze."

Needless to say, the entire room erupted into chaos.

Omake 3:

"On the contrary, they were all approved not thirty seconds ago." She smirked "Yugito Nii, Temari Sabaku, Kurotsuchi, and Fu. Say hello to your new husband, Naruto Uzumaki, son of Minato Namikaze."

All the escorts that weren't involved in marriage looked like they had all been smacked in the face with a shovel.

The ones involved however…

Kurotsuchi seemed very excited. "Fucking score! I can't believe that I'll get to spend my whole life with the son of the man who killed a thousand of my village's shinobi. He's so hot and dreamy despite being 13. I want fuck him so much, and carry his children." She had stars in her eyes, indicating the pleasure that she took from the knowledge that she had obtained.

Naruto turned ashen in shock, and scooted away from her out of fear. Until he felt arms wrap around his torso from behind. Her stature marked her as Yugito.

"Hey little kitten. I know that we just met, but I think that I love you. Wanna fuck like cats and give me a litter?" after saying what she needed to say, Yugito proceeded to blow into his ear.

At this point, Naruto was perceiving everything as a bad dream. He unwrapped her arms from his torso, and made to Tsunade, but was blocked by an outstretched war fan.

Temari leveled a lustful look at him. "I know this is sudden. But I'm voraciously in love with you, and I don't care if I have to share you with 3 other chicks, because I am going to fuck the wind out of your sails."

The obvious logical fallacy aside, Naruto turned to the only person that he felt like he could count on.

Fu.

She was looking on at the situation unfold with as much surprise as was. So he quickly ran to her side for some morsel of normality.

He felt safe-ish by her person until he felt a hand go into the waistband of his pants and reach for his manhood. She whispered in his ear. "I'll be your queen. So let's make some workers."

Naruto reeled away from her. He didn't even know what to do with the bug metaphor. All eyes were on him, all showing one emotion or another.

One would believe that being surrounded by females who only wanted to fuck the daylights out of one would be an extremely opportune event to happen to that person. But as Naruto looked at all his fiancée's various expressions of lust, the only emotion that came over Naruto was dread.

They advanced on him at the same time, all with thoughts on procreation. Don't worry though. He'll learn to love it.


	5. the bickerings

Chapter 5

Kage administration

There were shouts and words of non-belief amongst the companions of the kages.

A tic mark appeared on Tsunade's forehead and her eyebrow twitched furiously.

"SHUT UP!" she yelled at all of them. "If you have any concerns… I would be willing to take them at the moment." She said quietly.

Tsunade would at least be fair.

"I refuse!" this concern came from none other than Naruto Uzumaki himself.

"You have no choice in the matter, it's already been decided." She said bluntly.

Naruto deflated.

"Why is this happening?" This concern came from a shocked Temari.

"It's happening in an effort to unite all of the elemental nations and to eliminate the threat of war from ever happening again." Baki answered succinctly

She quieted down.

"How old is he?" this concern came from Yugito, who had narrowed eyes.

"13." Tsunade remarked

"Do you honestly expect me to marry someone half my age?" she asked frostily.

"Yes." Ai replied severely. Yugito was about to go on a tirade, but Kurotsuchi beat her to it

"Wait, wait, wait. How is an arranged marriage between _4_ women, and _1 child_" Naruto opened his mouth up to speak up at the _child_ remark, but thought better of it. "Supposed to unite all on the elemental nations and end the threat of war?"

Tsunade smirked. "I'm glad you asked. Raikage-dono?" she asked, expecting him to answer the question.

"No war that has ever broken out between the nations happened because someone _wanted_ there to be a war between the nations. Some skirmishes break out due to petty things like trade disputes, but those usually have little lasting impact on the nations as a whole. Wars break out mainly because of misinformation, miscommunication, or mistakes that snowball out of control and spread discontent and hatred between the masses. All of you are related to a kage in some way," Shibuki looked like he was about to speak up, but thought better of it "that means that the people look up to you, as paradigms of what they should hope to become like. If you associate with each other, and the masses _know_ that you associate with each other, and genuinely… as least _like_ each other, then the walls of hatred begin to break down."

Onoki decided to add in "There will also be other steps taken towards peace, such as communal trading camps, embassies from the villages, lowered trading regulations, and so on."

It would appear that the kages all had talked this through quite thoroughly while they were all in the hall.

Fu decided to chip in, "but- but- but if you all already decided on getting along with each other, why is there a need for us to all get married?" she asked nervously.

Tsunade replied with "well first of all, you all aren't getting to _each other_," all the five individuals sighed, "you four" she motioned to the four women, "are all getting married to_ him_," she motioned to Naruto. The five in question nearly face faulted.

"And second, I believe we already went through this, but if the masses see the people that they look up to getting along with each other, we believe that they would be more willing to brush aside their differences and hatred, and at least _try_ to get along with each other as well."

"And you think that when the masses see the people that they look up to join a harem; the masses will suddenly feel incentivized to get along better?" Kurotsuchi added incredulously.

"And plus," Naruto joined in "the people don't look up to me. If anything, they look down on me."

"Same for me" Fu added.

They both then realized what the other said, and looked at each other in confusion.

"Why do people look down on _you_? Aren't you the son of the Fourth Hokage?" she asked accusingly.

"I just learned that I actually _had_ parents about" he looked at his non-existent watch "30 minutes ago." He replied cheekily.

"Well why are you looked down on?" she asked again.

"Uhm, that's… uhh" he looked at Tsunade for support. She just made a motion with her hand, the motion that mean 'continue.'

His eyes grew wide. She meant for him to tell everyone that he's the Jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi!

"I'm…" he took a deep breath "the Jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi no Kitsune."

Everyone's (except for Tsunade, Jiraya, and Shikaku) eyes widened.

Fu's, Yugito's, and Bee's most notably.

"Wha-? But, uh… fwah?" Fu's brain was starting to shut down. After all, she had just heard that one of the few people who had even been somewhat nice to her, was also one of the fewer people who could actually empathize with her, and was also the person who she would be joining a harem for.

"Fu is the Jinchuuriki for the seven-tailed beetle." Shibuki said.

Naruto and Yugito's eyes widened even more

She looked at his accusingly "FWAH?!" she asked/said.

"What? If we're going to do this, then we have to lay down all the secrets that would be pertinent information to this marriage." Shibuki said.

All eyes were on him, and that was starting to make him even more nervous.

All was silent for about 3 seconds.

"Yugito is the Jinchuuriki for the two tailed cat, and Bee here is the Jinchuuriki for the 8 tailed ox-octopus." Ai said impulsively.

They both looked at him incredulously.

"What?" he replied. "Shibuki-dono is correct, if a secret comes out later that could jeopardize this marriage; that would show a lack of trust in each other right now. If we really mean to bring peace to all of the elemental nations, then for that to be even remotely feasible, we all have to show complete trust in each other right now." Ai said with complete professionalism.

"I am the Jinchuuriki for the one-tailed tanuki."

All eyes were on Gaara, who looked as stoic as always.

"Kurotsuchi has lava release." Onoki said.

"Gramps!"

"What?"

"I, bluh… I just- Why are we getting married! Why don't you all get married?!" She gestured to all the kage.

Complete silence reigned for a total of 5 seconds.

5. Seconds.

"What?" Tsunade managed to get out.

"Yeah, that's right!" she said, as if confirming her own idea "I see 4 perfectly good males, and one perfectly good female. All of whom are the head of nations that want to enter an alliance with each other, and all of them are looked up to by the people of the countries that they represent."

All the kage looked at each other.

"I'm not even the Kazekage, I'm the _acting-Kazekage_" Baki said, not wanting to be a part of the conversation.

Tsunade formed a face that spoke of deep thought.

"Because we don't want to." She said.

They all face faulted.

"We still don't have everything ironed out" she continued. "Like the housing situation."

"Why don't we just give them one of the empty residential houses?" Jiraya said, for the first time this meeting.

"That could work in the short term, but what about in the long term?" she asked.

He thought for a bit. "You said that you were going to be putting up embassies in all of the villages, correct?"

"Yes"

"Why don't we just send the ANBU teams that know the hirashin along with the ambassadors, so they could travel between the nations at free will?" Jiraya didn't know that there were no such ANBU teams, and that the only three people who knew the hirashin other than the second and fourth hokage's were all just normal jonin. And that they all needed to be together to make the technique work.

"That's a good idea Jiraya." Tsunade was ignorant to the situation as well.

"Thanks." he puffed his chest out in pride, which hurt his still aching lungs.

While they were having this conversation, the five who were involved with the marriage were silent, shocked beyond the point where speech would be plausible.

"Wait!" Naruto said.

They all looked at him.

"You said that the marriage would only be valid once I made chunin, I'm still a genin." Naruto believed that he found the loophole that would bring the talk of marriage crashing down, and felt good knowing that he found it.

"Oh, that reminds me." Tsunade said.

She brought out something from beneath the desk and tossed it over to Naruto.

It was a flak jacket.

"Nice job on the promotion, Naruto."

He looked devastated.

"But- I- I love someone else." He said.

Her eyes softened.

"Naruto, you want to be hokage, right?" she asked.

He nodded.

"Well, being hokage means making tough decisions for the good of the people. You all have to understand," she looked at the other four as well "that this marriage could be the _end _to war as we know it."

Naruto was looking at the ground. He sniffled.

Yugito wanted to hate him, she wanted to hate him with all her guts. She just learned that she was getting married to him, along with three other females. She was getting married to man that she didn't love. Yugito had always had found worth in her abilities as a kunoichi, in being a good tool to the village. But now she was just getting married off like a common noblewoman.

It pissed her off. It really pissed her off.

But as she looked at him, she couldn't find it in her to hate him.

He looked like the world was crashing down upon him.

"I accept, for the good of the people of the elemental nations." Yugito said eventually. Even if she loathed to do it, it was a direct order of the kage.

Kurotsuchi looked conflicted, but finally gave out a "*sigh* I accept as well."

Fu gave out a tentative "Okay"

All eyes were on Temari.

"*sigh* for the good of the people of the elemental nations, I accept as well."

"Well that's all well and good, but whether or not you are okay with it doesn't mean anything." She pointed to the stamped papers, "you're already married to him." She collected all the papers together and handed them to Shukaku. "I'm pushing the inauguration to a week from now, so that we can all simultaneously give the news to our citizens." She said to the assorted kages.

"What does your inauguration have to do with anything?" Jiraya asked.

"I also plan on telling the secret of Naruto's lineage to the people, as well as the plans for the alliance. Since everyone is going to be happy after the inauguration speech, they're going to take it better."

"Clever thinking" he said.

"Now," she said, "it's been a long night, and we could all use some shut-eye. I'll get a shinobi to escort you," she pointed to the kage's, and their escorts "to the Eastern Dragon. And a shinobi to escort you" she pointed to the five that the marriage documents pertained to, "to your residential house."

The walk to the residential house was slow and awkward. Luckily enough, it wasn't very far away.

A quick look around the house showed that it had a room with a king sized bed, a room with a queen sized bed, and a room with two twin beds.

"I'll take the couch" Naruto said.

After a little bit of bickering over who was going to sleep where, everyone was in bed.

Naruto looked at the clock, it read 12:00.

He waited on his couch for an hour, to make sure that everyone was asleep, before he started crying again. he was all out of tears from not an hour before then, so silent sobs wracked his body until he managed to find sleep.


	6. the talk

Chapter 6

Residential house.

Naruto woke up with his eyes completely crusted over. After wiping it away, Naruto looked around.

Why was he sleeping on a couch in an unfamiliar house?

A loud snore resounded from somewhere from within the house.

The memories of what transpired yesterday all came flooding back to him.

He looked at the clock on the wall. It read 7:00.

'Well there's no way I'm going to fall back asleep' he decided.

He walked into the kitchen and checked the fridge. It was fully stocked.

Naruto wasn't a chef by any means, but living alone meant having to make his own meals.

The smell of eggs and bacon started to waft throughout the house. He decided to be courteous and make more than he could eat for his wives.

_Wife._

_Wives._

Even the thought of being married, much less married to multiple people, was going to take some getting used to.

After chowing down, he checked the clock again. 7:30.

He was probably going to be late for team assignments, but he didn't particularly care at this point. He just dismally ate his breakfast of eggs and bacon before cleaning up and making to the door.

Mission Assignment Room.

He was actually there early.

His new house was a lot closer to the Academy than he originally thought.

Wait.

He had a new house. Didn't that mean that he had to get his stuff from his apartment?

He wasn't able to process these things, and their ramifications. He looked at the ground sullenly

When Sakura showed up, she could immediately tell something was wrong.

Naruto looked gloomy, and even though he looked at her, acknowledging her presence, he didn't say a word. Normally he would be abound with energy and trying to talk up a storm with her. But he just stood there in the lobby area, quiet.

They stood in silence for a while.

"Naruto, is something wrong?" she asked.

He flinched, and put up a strained smile. "No Sakura, why would you say that?"

"Because you look sad, and you got here earlier than me, which never happens."

"…Can we please just not talk about it." He looked at her eyes and then quickly looked away.

'Weird.' She thought. 'Naruto's never sad. Something huge must have happened.'

Sasuke showed up and noticed Naruto's state, but didn't comment on it. Sometimes people just want to be left alone, he was living proof of that concept.

They stood alone, in silence, and waited for Kakashi to show up.

When he finally did show up, no one said anything and they all quietly walked into the mission assignment room. Kakashi noticed the gloomy aura that was hanging around his team members, and made a mental note to ask them about it while they were on their mission.

"Do you have any missions available?" Kakashi asked to the secretary.

Usually the hokage was there at least in the morning, before heading up to administration to do their paperwork.

Jiraya was there instead.

"Kakashi, I need to borrow Naruto for the day." He said in his most professional tone.

Kakashi nodded his head without missing a beat. While all three members of team 7 looked confused.

Jiraya motioned Naruto to follow him, and they exited the room together.

"Kakashi, what does Jiraya-sama want with Naruto?" Sakura asked.

"Hell if I know. So do you have any missions available?" he directed the question to the secretary.

"Erm, yes, there's a mission to protect a long distance runner while on a race. It's recommended a full team, however."

"We'll take it. How long is it going to last?"

"It should take about three days."

"Okay, you two, get ready for a multi-nighter, and meet me at the gates in two hours."

They both nodded their heads in confirmation.

"Pervy-sage, where's Granny?" Naruto asked Jiraya. They were walking at a leisurely place around Konoha proper.

"She's at the hospital treating that one kid with the huge eyebrows that you were talking about, in fact, she had just healed your sensei and your teammate from their tsukiomi trauma."

"Oh! I forgot about that." He looked at the ground.

"Don't worry brat, you've had a lot on your plate lately."

Indeed it had been quite the 24 hours for Naruto.

"So what do you need me for?" Naruto asked.

"Well I thought you might like to talk, ask me for advice, or anything really."

"I don't need anything." He said stubbornly.

"Oh really, what about that Sakura girl? Don't you still love her?"

"Of course I do, but I already know the answer if I ask you what you think I should do."

Jiraya's eyebrows raised. "Oh?"

"Yeah, you're going to say something like 'forget about her, all she does is hit you around', or 'forget about her, it's for the good of the elemental nations', or even 'forget about her, after all, you have four hot wives now'."

Jiraya was surprised, but didn't let it show.

"I wasn't going to say that." He lied.

"What were you going to say?"

Jiraya thought about how to proceed for a moment, then said "name one thing you hate about her."

"What?"

"Just do it."

Naruto adopted a dreamy look for a moment. "I can't, she's prefect."

"Naruto."

"Yes?"

"You don't love her."

"Huh? Yeah I do, I really love her."

"No you don't, you admire her."

"Well of course I do." Naruto was getting confused.

Jiraya sighed. "Naruto, love isn't about admiration, or looking past the flaws that a person has. Love is understanding."

"Understanding what?"

"Understanding the person, understanding their motives, understanding why they do the things they do. Understanding is love, and Admiration is the furthest thing from understanding. A human cannot reasonably say that they hate someone without first giving a reason why they love them. The world doesn't work in black and white-"

A certain checkered akatsuki member sneezed.

"-and the same works for the other way. You cannot reasonably love someone without first knowing something that you hate about them."

Naruto thought in silence for a while.

"But don't you admire granny?"

"…Yeah, I do."

They both remained silent for a while after that. Pondering the philosophies that were just expounded, and their ramifications.

"Jiraya?"

"Yeah?"

"What were… What were my parents like?"

"They loved you so much." Jiraya said, without missing a beat.

"When they told me I was going to be your godfather, I was so excited, I was finally going to be able to be able to be there for somebody, I was finally going to be able to teach my crafts to someone who might appreciate them."

"Your crafts? Didn't you teach my dad your crafts?"

"He never really took to them." He answered vaguely

Naruto looked at Jiraya in confusion.

Jiraya had a perverted look on his face, and his eyebrows were wiggling furiously.

Naruto had to laugh, the visage was far too funny not to.

"Hey, looks like I was able to cheer you up. If only slightly." Jiraya said.

Naruto nodded, "thanks Pervy-sage."

Naruto's mood had increased a little.

"… Do you really think that this is going to work?" Naruto asked.

"What?"

"The whole, arranged marriage, thing."

"Do I think that it's going to stop war?"

"Yeah."

"… I have no idea."

"Wow thanks, I feel so much better" Naruto said sarcastically.

"Well it's not like a thing like this has ever been done before, so we don't have a reference. But if we all try our hardest to make this work, I think we might have a shot."

Naruto sighed heavily "What am I supposed to do?"

"Do What?"

"Marriage. I haven't even been on a date before in my entire life. And now I'm married to 4 women. I'm _13_, I'm not ready for that responsibility yet."

"… I have no idea what you should do." He reiterated

"For someone who wanted to give out advice to make me feel better, you give sucky advice."

"Your situation is a unique one, it's hard to say what you should do."

"Do I have to love them?"

"You have to be nice to them, generally when humans are nice to other humans, those other humans will be nice to the first humans."

"Even if the other humans joined a harem, against their will, that revolved around the first human?" he replied sarcastically.

"They didn't do it against their will. Didn't you hear them? They accepted the terms and conditions."

"They accepted for the good of the elemental nations. They didn't want to, they made a sacrifice by doing what they did."

They were silent for a bit.

"What, specifically, was in the marriage document?"

"What do you mean?"

"What are my… responsibilities?"

"You mean other than to marry them?"

"Yeah."

"Nothing was specified. But you won't be able to pursue relationships with other women."

"Why not?"

Jiraya paused "Naruto, this marriage isn't for you, or for them; it's for the people. If word got out that you cheated on your wives, it might be taken as a huge insult by the other nations' people."

"Oh." Naruto said in understanding.

"And you might also be asked to… procreate with them."

Jiraya may have been a pervert, but this was a serious ordeal, and he had to take it seriously, for Naruto's sake.

"Procreate?"

'Oh shit. '

"You have had the… talk? Right?" Jiraya asked. He really didn't want to explain the inner workings of sexual intercourse to a 13 year old.

"Er... yeah, Iruka-sensei told me."

'Oh thank god, he just didn't know what the word meant.'

"Well you may be asked to have children with some of them."

"EEH!? But why?" Naruto was getting red in the face.

"To strengthen the bonds between the villages."

"Somehow I knew you were going to say that." He said in deadpan.

Jiraya laughed sheepishly.

It was at that point that a shinobi appeared before Jiraya and Naruto and said "Killer Bee requests your presence."

"Killer Bee?" Naruto asked.

"The Jinchuuriki to the eight-tails."

"Oh, I remember him. What does he want with us?"

"He only specified you." The shinobi pointed to Naruto.

"Why?" Jiraya asked

"I don't know, I was only told to bring him to training ground 7."

"I know where that is" Naruto said.

"I am coming with him." Jiraya said.

"Bee didn't say that he _couldn't_ bring others." The Shinobi said.

"Thank you, you are dismissed, we'll take it from here." Jiraya said.

Training ground seven.

There were 3 people sitting down by corresponding wooden posts.

One was occupied with Bee.

One was occupied with Yugito.

One was occupied with Fu.

They were waiting for the other two that were sent for to show up.

They spotted a dot on the horizon that slowly enlarged until they could make out the shape of Gaara riding sand across the sky like a magic carpet.

He descended until he was touching the ground.

"Yo, sit down, yo." Bee said with a friendly tone.

Gaara sat down without word.

Two other figures emerged from the tree line.

One was Jiraya, and the other was Naruto.

Naruto sat down with them.

"Since we're all here. I'll explain why Bee got us to gather here." Yugito said. "Bee wants to take advantage of the fact that there are five Jinchuuriki in one place at one time. By having a pow-wow with the tailed beasts."

"A pow-wow?" Naruto asked.

"By physically touching each other, Jinchuuriki can link mindscapes and are able to talk with other tailed beasts from other Jinchuuriki that are also touching."

"Mindscape?" Naruto and Fu asked simultaneously. They both then made eye-contact, blushed, and quickly looked away.

"You two haven't conversed with your tailed beast yet?"

"Well I have… but that was only to collect my rent." Naruto said.

"Your rent?"

"I fell down a huge ravine, so I appeared before Kyuubi-teme, and told him to pay rent by lending me his power."

Bee looked slightly uncomfortable with the idea of what happened. But didn't comment on it.

"Well that place you went to is called your mindscape. Although it is technically a manifestation of your chakra system." Yugito said.

"So what do you mean by _physical contact_?" Gaara asked.

"We just bump fists." Yugito said.

She stood up, which everyone took as their queue to stand up as well.

Bee held out his fist, and everyone met in the middle. Fu and Naruto blushed slightly at the physical contact.

Shared mindscape.

Naruto stood before the grand cage that seemingly held back the mighty Kyuubi no Kitsune with only a flimsy piece of paper.

It was his first time getting a really good look at it, the Kyuubi.

The Kyuubi did not look like a fox in the normal sense. It was completely orange, except for the eyes and ears, which shared a pair of black stripes going through both of them. It also had a human-like torso.

**"Human, what do you wa-" **the Kyuubi fell silent though, as it took stock of the situation.

It was facing a room in the shape of a pentagon, each of its sides had a different room. And its cage had turned into an actual boxed cage, with bars on the sides, so it could see the cages of the bijuu that were beside him.

To his left was the cage of the ichibi. To his right was the cage of the nanabi. To his front left was the cage of the niibi. To his front right was the cage of the hachibi.

The cages of the niibi and hachibi, however, had no bars on the front of their cages, signifying freedom.

All of the cages also had a human standing in front of it.

**"What is the meaning of this?"** the Kyuubi grumbled.

**"I would like to know as well" **this came from the nanabi.

Yugito answered. "In a rare event, 5 Jinchuuriki ended up in the same place, so we thought it would be wise to allow you" she gestured to the tailed beasts "to talk."

**"…"**

"…"

**"Talk about what?" ** Shukaku asked.

"… Don't you have anything to say to each other, after not seeing each other for such a long time?" Fu asked. She might be new to what Jinchuuriki did on a regular basis, but she did have a slight understanding of what happened to all the bijuu.

**"We didn't lead the most social of lives before our sealing." **the nanabi said.

**"And we didn't gain one after our sealing." **the Kyuubi added.

**"So we don't have much to talk about." **Shukaku said.

**"Plus we don't really like each other." **Niibi said.

"Yo yo, you guys are family, and family sticks together, wheee!" Bee brought out his notepad to write down that sick rhyme.

It wouldn't be there when he got out of the shared mindscape. Either he didn't notice, or he didn't care, because he just kept on blissfully writing.

**"Gyuki, you wanna shut up your annoying human?" **the Kyuubi asked.

**"No." **Gyuki said

The Kyuubi was more surprised than anything

**"Why not?" **

**"Because I like my container, and I trust him."**

The Kyuubi burst out laughing. It was an awful, ear-rending laugh.

**"You trust your container? Oh that's rich. Humans are all the same, they only pretend to be nice to you, in order to gain your power as their own. Humans are vain, greedy creatures, with no thoughts of anyone else other than their own. Least of all, us, the so called _tailed beasts. _To them, we are only a means to an end."**

**"Some humans are different, they are capable of compassion beyond your comprehension!" **The Niibi said.

**"Compassion? Ha! Because of humans and their greed, I have spent the better part of my existence under a genjutsu, stuck in a cage, or crucified on a rock! If there is human compassion out there, I have not found hide nor hair of it!"**

Shukaku and Chomei felt slightly awkward just watching the three of them yell at each other. Even if Shukaku agreed with the Kyuubi's point of view.

**"You just have to look for it." **Was Matatabi's response.

**"Where? Where can I find this human compassion when I'm stuck in a cage all alone, with no one beside me?" **

**"It would appear that there is a valid example right in front of you." **Matatabi said.

**"But you aren't human, how would you be able to show human compassion?"** the Kyuubi asked, clearly confused, and not even thinking that Naruto could be the one she was speaking of.

**"Matatabi wasn't referring to itself, Matatabi was referring to the human." **Gyuki cleared up.

The Kyuubi looked down at Naruto. **"Him? The one who demanded that I give him power because of the fact that I am imprisoned inside of him?'**

**"From what I understand, he only did that so he could save himself from death."** Gyuki said.

**"From what I understand, he took my power for his own selfish reasons." **The Kyuubi replied.

**"Saving yourself from death is selfish now?"**

**"Taking power that isn't yours has always been selfish."**

Gyuki sighed **"Kura-"**

**"DON'T CALL ME THAT! I will not allow any worthless human to hear my name!"**

**"You are being childish" **Matatabi said.

**"And you are being unreasonable."**

While this exchange had been going on, Naruto had been going through some self-reflection. When the Kyuubi was sealed into Naruto, it ruined his life. But it sounded like the Kyuubi didn't want, or mean to get sealed into him. While Naruto grew up alone, the Kyuubi had been growing up alone alongside him. Except the Kyuubi didn't have anyone to talk to, no precious people to protect.

He thought about how Gaara had grown up, surrounded by hatred and malice. He eventually grew insane from the grief that he received. The Kyuubi was no different in that respect.

Naruto hadn't even tried to understand the Kyuubi. He just let what he was told about it to cloud his visage.

"I'm sorry." Naruto said quietly

**"A- Wait, what?"**

"I'm sorry for demanding your chakra when I wanted to save Sasuke. I didn't know the whole story of your sealing inside of me, and I was being unreasonable. I'm very sorry." Naruto bowed. After realizing what he did, he decided to apologize as sincerely as he could.

**"I-If this is a trick, th-"**

"This isn't a trick, I swear! I will do anything to make up to you the chakra that I took from you" Naruto practically yelled.

**"Oh really? Then rip off the seal, and let me go free." **The Kyuubi said with a conniving tone.

**"YOU ARE BEING UNREASONABLE KURAMA! HE'LL DIE-" **Matatabi practically yelled at him, which was out of character for it.

But the Kyuubi cut it off in anger, with a huge scream. **"I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT!" **

The Kyuubi's tails smashed against the bars that held in him. The shockwaves were reverberating within the skulls of not only the humans, but also the tailed beasts.

The Kyuubi roared again in anger, and attempted to shoot a mini-beast-ball against the bars, but it blew up in its face. The resounding shockwave was so powerful that it severed the connection of the other four.

The Kyuubi huffed, and sat down on its haunches. Its face hurt, it just wanted to sleep, just wanted to let loose some of its frustration.

"I won't call you that"

**"Huh?"**

"I won't call you that. Not if you don't want me to."

**"Huh"**

"But I will call you that eventually, when I teach you that there are good humans out there is the world as well." it was a promise that Naruto had decided to carry through. It was a conviction and Naruto was convicted to it.

Naruto turned around and walked out of the mindscape environment.

After it was sure Naruto was gone, Kurama laid down to rest.

That conversation had been emotionally heavy for it. Kurama made sure that the mental connection was off (as it always was) before allowing tears of frustration to roll out of his eyes for the first time since he was sealed into Mito.

**AN/**

**I forgot to put this up on the first chapter, but this is my first fic. Any feedback at all on my story would be greatly appreciated.**

**Also, I'm going by canon ages. (Fu's and Kurotsuchi's ages weren't on the wiki so I made them up to be what I thought was reasonable)**

**Yugito: 27**

**Kurotsuchi: 15**

**Temari: 15**

**Fu: 14**

**Naruto: 13**

**Many thanks to those who read and reviewed**


	7. the confrontations

Chapter 7

**AN/ Kedo has informed me that in canon, Kurotsuchi's age should be around 15 or so.**

**So I'm changing her age to that of canon.**

**Thanks Kedo.**

After Naruto went out of the house to meet up with his team, it wasn't long before everyone else was awake.

This stemmed mostly from Kurotsuchi's snoring.

It was really fucking loud.

So loud, in fact, that after Fu was woken up, she immediately threw her pillow at the sleeping teenager; as they were the ones sharing the room with twin beds.

Kurotsuchi continued to snore.

Temari, who had bags under her eyes, banged opened the door and proceeded to take the pillow that was on Kurotsuchi to continually bash her body with it.

Kurotsuchi continued to snore.

Yugito walked into the door next, grabbed Kurotsuchi's ankles, and pulled her out of bed.

Kurotsuchi awoke with a start. She had a headache, a sore body, and really wanted to go back to sleep.

Her head fell back onto the floor, and she closed her eyes.

Kurotsuchi continued to snore.

They all had bags under their eyes, they were all extremely annoyed for a variety of reasons, and they all looked at Kurotsuchi, wondering what they would do to her.

And that was how they all woke up to their first morning of married life.

After everyone had sufficiently woken up, they went to get some breakfast.

They all sat at the table. Eating slowly. Mired in awkward silence.

"Well this sucks." Kurotsuchi said, summing up the situation perfectly.

"Be quiet." This comment came from Temari, who had a pounding headache.

"Who shoved a kunai up your ass?"

"If another thing comes out of your mouth, I'm going to shove my battle fan soooo far up your ass, you'll be coughing wind."

"You wanna put your money where your mouth is?"

Temari glared at her, but did not rise up to the challenge

Temari was in a really bad mood.

"Will both of you shut up!" this came from Yugito. "Christ, I am surrounded by children."

Yugito wasn't in a particularly good mood either.

They sat in silence after that.

"… Soooo…" Fu ventured.

"So what?" Kurotsuchi said.

"So shouldn't we get to know each other better, or something?"

"Why?"

"Because we're all married." Fu spoke in deadpan.

No one spoke up.

There was a knock on the door.

Yugito answered it, and was greeted by a messenger ninja. "Yugito Nii and Fu are requested to meet at training ground 7 with Killer Bee."

"Okay, just a second."

She went back to get Fu and they both followed the ninja to training ground 7

"Where are we going?" She asked.

"Training ground 7."

"Why?"

"No clue."

This left Kurotsuchi and Temari alone.

"So what now?" Kurotsuchi asked.

"I'm going to an empty training ground to let off some steam."

"I'll join you."

Temari looked slightly displeased, but didn't deny her.

Training ground 7, after the connection severing

Fu, Yugito, and Bee were sprawled on ground after getting expelled from their mindscape. Gaara would be too, if not for the sand that caught him.

Jiraya looked on with raised eyebrows

"Does that usually happen?" Fu asked.

"Not that I've experienced." Yugito replied.

They all got up and looked at Naruto, who was still standing with his eyes closed.

"Is there something wrong with him?" Gaara asked.

Just as he said that, Naruto's eyes shot open.

"Are you okay brat?" Jiraya asked

"Yeah, I'm good."

"Maybe we should get you to Tsunade?"

"Nah, I'm fine."

Naruto looked at Bee. "Anything else?"

Bee shook his head.

Naruto looked up at the sun's position. It wasn't even noon yet.

He looked at Jiraya. "What now?"

"I have to meet up with Baki." Gaara said.

"Yo, I have to talk with bro." Bee said.

"And I have to report to Tsunade." Jiraya said.

He didn't really have to do that, he just saw it as a golden opportunity to get Naruto to socialize with his wives.

Naruto looked at Fu and Yugito. "Do you guys have anything to do?"

They both shook their heads.

"How about I show you around Konoha?"

"You mean a ramen shop and the top of the monument?" Fu asked cheekily.

"You are never going to let that down are you?" he asked.

"Nope." She smiled, and he smiled back sheepishly

Yugito looked at them interact. 'It's almost like they're acting like friends.'

"Did you two know each other before the meeting at administration?"

"She got here earlier than you did, so I showed her around Konoha."

"A ramen shop, and the top of the monument." She repeated.

"I was working on very little time!" he cried in indignation.

Fu giggled.

'I'm married to this guy?' Yugito thought.

Konoha proper.

As they walked around, he pointed out various landmarks. The clan compounds, the market, the residential areas, the training grounds.

It was a proper tour.

One which hit a snag.

A snag named Ino.

"Hey Naruto!" Ino cried out, while waving her arms to get his attention.

She was standing next to Shikamaru, Chouji, and Asuma.

She ran up to him, with the others falling behind her at a more sedate pace.

"I thought you and Sasuke were on a mission." She said.

"Oh, uh they went on a mission this morning, but I was left behind."

"Oh…" She said in a depressed tone. She was hoping that Sasuke was still in Konoha.

"Hey Naruto." Shikamaru said, who had caught up by now along with the rest of the team.

"Yo."

Shikamaru's eyes narrowed. 'Why is Naruto walking around with a waterfall kunoichi, and a cloud kunoichi? They shouldn't have any business in Konoha.'

"Who are your friends?" he asked.

"Oh yeah, this is Yugito and Fu" he gestured to them respectively. "And they are Shikamaru, Chouji, Ino, and their sensei, Asuma." He gestured to the members of team 10.

"We just got back from a C-rank mission" Ino said.

"We're going to celebrate at a barbeque place. Wanna come with?" Chouji added, while munching on his chips.

"Uuummm" Naruto looked at Yugito and Fu for confirmation, they both shrugged.

"Sure." He answered.

They began walking to the barbeque place at a comfortable pace.

"So what are a cloud, and a waterfall kunoichi doing in Konoha?" Asuma asked amicably.

Yugito adopted a sullen look, while Naruto and Fu both sported bright blushes. Which didn't go unnoticed by Asuma and Shikamaru.

"We're here for peace talks." Yugito said plainly.

"And I'm escorting them around Konoha." Naruto said.

"Peace talks?!" Asuma said in an astounded tone. "How long were we away?"

'Long enough for me to get married to someone half my age' Yugito thought to herself.

"Tsunade said that she's announcing what happened at the peace talks at her inauguration in a week." Naruto said.

"I thought that the peace talks were still going on." Fu stated.

"Well I wouldn't know, I'm just a lowly genin."

"Chunin" Yugito corrected.

Team 10's eyes widened.

"Naruto, you got promoted?" Ino asked incredulously.

"Uhm… yeah, just keep it on the down-low for now."

"Why?"

"Because… it has something to do with what Tsunade is going to announce at her inauguration."

"Why would your promotion be something to announce at her inauguration?" Shikamaru asked

"Look, can we just drop the subject?"

"…Okay man."

Training ground 34

Kurotsuchi and Temari were on the ground, gasping for air. They were both running on low reserves after what they did to that forest.

That poor forest.

When they both arrived there, Kurotsuchi thought that Temari wanted to spar against her. She was proven wrong, however, when Temari blasted a war cry, swung her fan, and released a gale of winds with cutting wind chakra inside at the tree line.

Kurotsuchi shrugged and threw a jutsu out that skewered the trees that were on the ground. About an hour after continuing to commit tree genocide, they were on the ground, gasping for air.

The forest at their side didn't deserve to be called a forest anymore, more like a huge pile of twigs and jagged rocks with poisonous quicklime hanging around.

"You weren't half bad." Kurotsuchi huffed, all hostility to Temari gone.

Apparently forest destruction was _really_ good release. No wonder leaf ninja were so happy all the time.

"Thanks" she huffed in return.

They stayed like that for a while.

"You're right." Temari said.

"Huh?"

"About what you said this morning; this situation that we're in, it sucks"

"… It could be worse"

Temari gave a dry laugh. "How so?"

"He could be an old, perverted geezer, who peeps on women at bathhouses."

Jiraya sneezed, which alerted the women at the bathhouse that he was peeping on.

'Oh fuck me' Jiraya thought.

All the women started to either brandish weapons, or start jutsu.

'I didn't even know they were kunoichi!'

Temari gave another dry laugh. "Yeah, silver linings I guess."

Kurotsuchi got up and announced "I'm starving."

"We _just_ had breakfast"

"I have a quick metabolism"

"Well I'm not eating anything."

"Well I am. Get up"

Temari grumbled as she complied with the request.

Administration building

Tsunade was trying to sign paperwork when Jiraya entered; battered, bruised, and bleeding profusely.

She quirked a brow.

"Hey hime."

"… You fucking pervert."

"Yeah, yeah." He said dismissively

"What do you want?"

"Ohhh, don't be so cold hime."

Her stare could melt steel

"Just wanted to talk about Naruto."

"Is this about the training trip that you were talking about?"

"Yeah, I was thinking that we should take advantage of the alliance, and have Naruto cycle around the villages to train under the best that they have to offer."

"I thought that the whole point of having Naruto go on a training _trip_ was so that the akatsuki wouldn't know where he was at any given point, and that you would be there to protect him."

"Well I would have to run my spy operation in order to get intel on the akatsuki's movements. But if he continually cycles through the villages at a random pattern, that would decrease the risk to the point that I wouldn't need to be there."

"What makes you think that they'll give him the best teachers that they have?"

"Didn't you tell them about the akatsuki? The entire reason for the training trip in the first place was to prepare him for them. I would think that the other villages want the Jinchuuriki to be as strong as they could be."

"I did tell them, but they seem confident in their ability to fend them off."

"Well fuck… hmmm, most of the trip was going to revolve around him training to get a handle on the Kyuubi's power, it doesn't really matter if he has a sub-par genjutsu or taijutsu teacher. The other villages Jinchuuriki could teach him all that he needs to know."

"Okay, but how is he going to get from village to village?"

"The teams with the hirashin?"

"You neglected to tell me that only one team in all of Konoha knows the hirashin, and that's the hokage's body guard unit."

"Huh, I thought that there were more… can't you just train other units?"

"The hirashin is an extremely powerful jutsu, one that few could only perceive on a very basic level, it would take months to train other units. It's a wonder how the Second or the Fourth learned how to manipulate it to the extent that it became useful in battle."

"Can't we just have the team tag places at the villages, and contact them with a messenger bird to let them know when and where to teleport to next?"

"Maybe, it would be extremely chakra intensive though."

"Good, then while we do that, you could train more teams in the meantime."

"Like I said, it's really hard to even understand, it could take a while to find out who would be compatible with it."

"But it can be done?"

"…Yes"

"Perfect, then it's decided. In a week, Naruto will go on a training trip that encompasses all of the major hidden villages."

"Except for mist."

"Well yeah, but they're still having the civil war. It wouldn't be the best environment for Naruto to learn how to control the Kyuubi."

"Yeah, I know."

"So when are the kage's leaving?"

"We just finished finalizing everything, all the kage's are leaving tomorrow. But they're leaving their companions here."

"Why?"

"Can't remember, something about trust between the nations."

"Hm. You know hime, you just created peace between the elemental nations, and you aren't even hokage yet."

"Not all the nations."

"But as soon as word gets out about the joint alliance, every other villages are going to want to join in as well."

"Well it's not like I created a unified nation, we just agreed not to kill each other anymore."

"Still, it's close to something that I have spent my whole life trying to succeed in, and one that you accomplished in two days."

"It's mostly due to Minato's stupidity. Whenever an alliance was made between two nations, demands were made between them, which lowered trust and made for a reasonable excuse to try and stab each other in the backs. But with all of the nations together, they got scared to make demands on the individual level, as they might be excluded from the deal for being greedy. With the marriage deal, it allowed for us all to come together at the same time."

"Is that what happened?"

"That's how Shizune explained it to me. Is that all?"

"Yeah. You know, we should go out for drinks after this. A party celebrating the do-not-kill-each-other treaty."

"If this is just an excuse to get me drunk-"

"No, of course not" Jiraya said quickly.

"Okay then, I'll be at the bar at 7."

"Which one?"

"The one we all used to go to after a completed mission."

"Got it," he said, as he walked out the door.

Barbeque place.

The barbeque was delicious.

This was a common sentiment amongst the participants of the meal. Even if it was slightly crowded for only one booth.

Naruto, Fu, and Chouji were eating at extremely fast paces, barely letting the meat cook before shoving it in their mouths.

The rest of them barely had any room on the grill to let it cook because most of the space was hogged by the big eaters of the group. Once Naruto 'accidentally' tried to grab a piece of meat that was claimed by Yugito, only to almost have his hand skewered to the grill.

Yugito was hungry, tired, frustrated, and just not having a good day. Not only that, but she was also on her period. An affliction which only exponentially increased her ire at the childish antics of her husband.

Luckily he was a proud shinobi of the hidden leaf, and prided himself for his ingenuity on the battlefield. That being said, he was lucky to still have a functioning hand.

When he looked at Yugito to give an apology, he was met with glaring yellow feline eyes. Signifying the true anger that she was feeling. After muttering an apology, he quickly looked away. Her eyes morphed back to usual before the members of team 10 could notice.

As a proper apology, he gave up some space on the grill to Yugito.

Which only slightly increased her mood.

Then Temari and Kurotsuchi walked in after scouring the hidden leaf for a good barbeque place.

The two made eye contact with the group, which led to an awkward situation.

Would the two ignore their presence and get a separate booth, or would they grab some chairs to join them. They already were seated with four others, so room on the grill would be minimal if the two joined in as well. But if they got a separate booth, then ignoring each other's presence would only make the situation more awkward for the five involved.

Their problem was solved for them, however, when Shikamaru looked at what Naruto and Yugito were staring at. He recognized Temari from his fight with her, and noticed that both Naruto _and_ Yugito were looking at her. Meaning that the foreign kunoichi must have made contact with each other at some point, most likely during the peace talks.

"Do you know them?" he asked rhetorically (to him at least).

"Err yeah." Was Naruto's nervous answer.

"Why don't you invite them over?" maybe he might get more information about the peace talks if the kunoichi were all there.

"Err okay." Naruto then made a waving gesture at Temari and Kurotsuchi. This gesture sealed their fate.

They told the waitress that they were going to sit with the others, and promptly pulled up a couple of chairs and sat down.

Kurotsuchi decided that she was going to have fun with this situation.

"Hey, hubby."

Team 10's eyes widened, while Naruto and Fu started sporting huge blushes. Yugito and Temari decided not to care, and to just focus on the food. Walking around, while looking for a suitable place to eat usually makes people hungry, in Temari's situation

"She's joking! She's joking" he said far too quickly.

Team 10 didn't look convinced from his denials.

"Look, uhm, we met at the peace talks, and she really likes to get people embarrassed, and that's it." He quickly fabricated.

"But why are you embarrassed?" Ino asked.

"It's uuuuhhhmmm… a long story?"

"…Okaaaaayyy." She wanted to pry further, but the food was almost all gone, and the little that was left was quickly being claimed by Temari and Kurotsuchi. A long story wouldn't survive for how long it would take for the bill to get there.

Kurotsuchi, for the record, was having a really fun time being her.

Naruto Glared at her, but she just returned it with a mischievous smile.

After the bill came, team 10 and Naruto's group split up.

It was in the afternoon, and Naruto was feeling energetic.

"What do you guys want to do now?" he asked.

"Why don't we go and train?" Yugito suggested

"We just got back from training" Temari said. It wasn't really training, more like venting frustration upon helpless trees

"It's okay, we'll just watch." Kurotsuchi said. She had a mischievous smile on her face again, as she felt like she knew where this was going.

"Uuhh, okay?" Naruto was getting a little nervous at Kurotsuchi's smile.

"I'm fine with that" Fu said.

Training ground 7

"You two are going to spar." Yugito spoke to Naruto and Fu.

"What?"

"YOU. TWO. ARE. GOING-" she spoke louder for clarification

"I. HEARD. YOU. THE. FIRST. TIME" Naruto said, cutting her off "I was wondering why." He stated at a lower volume.

"Because I want a good read of your skill, and if I spar against you, you'd die. So you are going to spar against someone roughly your level, so I can properly gauge your skills."

Kurotsuchi looked slightly saddened. She had thought that the reason that Yugito brought it up was so she could mop the floor with the kid. Apparently not.

"I'm okay with it" Fu said.

"Okay, I'm game." Naruto said in return.

They both got to opposite sides of the field.

"Hajime!" Yugito yelled

They both ran at each other. Naruto decided to first go with a jump, to get leverage, and descended with a downward fist. Fu timed out when the punch was going to land, and grabbed it when it got close enough. Since Naruto was in the air, he didn't have any leverage to try to get away from the grab. Fu slammed him on the ground with enough force to create an audible 'WHUMP' and promptly climbed on his exposed back, to press his arm against it, hoping to force an early submission.

Naruto grit his teeth, and rose up from the ground suddenly enough for Fu to lose her balance, she fell off, but immediately righted herself and jumped away.

Fu stood where she was, as he brushed the dirt off of himself. He looked at her, and charged again, but this time on the ground, with his arms close to his torso. This time he started with a kick to her side, but she caught it, as she was prepared for it, and she used it to try to pull him to the ground. Naruto was unbalanced, but quickly planted his other leg down, to yank his leg from Fu. Fu let go, as holding on to it would have unbalanced her, and given him the advantage.

He tried to go for a straight punch, but she quickly caught it, pulled it towards her, turned herself around, and flipped forward onto the ground, with Naruto's body used as a cushion. The air was pushed out of his chest and he began scrambling for air. Fu, who hadn't let go of his appendage, quickly put his arm into a hold.

He managed to gain his breath again, and pulled his arm up, along with her body, and slammed it onto the ground.

She was light, which gave her maneuverability, but that lightness also hindered her when the opponent managed to grab onto her.

She quickly let go of his arm, to avoid having her body weight used against her. And jumped away.

Naruto got up, and looked at her warily. He was breathing slightly, but she didn't look the least perturbed.

He put his hands in the cross shape and called out "**shadow clone no jutsu." **Multiple bodies of Naruto soon came into existence. If he wasn't able to beat her with skill, he'd just use numbers.

What? He's a ninja. Unfair fighting is their creed.

All the clones charged at her. She, again, timed out when they would reach her, and when they were in sight, she completed some handseals, put her hands to her mouth, and yelled out **"Hiding in scale powder.**" A yellowish powder burst out of her mouth, which quickly refracted the light to blinding levels. All the clones were sufficiently in incapacitated while inside the powder. Fu, who had closed her eyes, reached out and quickly jabbed the clones, dispelling them.

The real Naruto was blinking away the blurs on his vision, and saw Fu standing exactly where she was when she had breathed out the powder. After a moment's hesitation, she charged at him while doing handseals, **"waterfall style: water cutting blade" **water congealed on her fist, and spiked out to create a several foot long blade of water.

Naruto, sensing immediate threat via skewering, pulled out a kunai, and met her blade. The slashes that she threw at Naruto were barely blocked and parried away as the sword was much more versatile than the kunai, and she obviously had more practice with it.

Naruto spammed some clones at her, with one at his side to help with the rasengan that he was beginning to form. While she was busy with the clones, he charged ahead with the rasengan cocked behind him.

Fu swung her sword at his arm, and he swung the rasengan at her sword, the sword's tip hit his arm, but just barely missed the vital blood pathways and nerve endings.

The rasengan exploded when it met the sword, causing it to dispel as well. Naruto looked at his arm, it had been sliced just deep enough to bleed a lot, but not deep enough to seriously hinder his movements. He looked at her, who was standing without any sign of serious battle fatigue. While he was huffing and puffing.

He needed to end this quick.

She evidently had the same thought, as she called out the water sword technique again, although she did the handseals a second time, before the water could collect on her first hand, and called out the technique a second time. Creating two swords about two feet long each, she fell into a much more fluid body state than she had at first.

He spammed a huge amount of clones to hinder her, with one at his side again, to help him with his rasengan. She was destroying the clones in droves and was almost completely out of clones to waste when he finished the rasengan. She charged at him this time, in order to negate his momentum that the jutsu seemed to heavily rely on, and he stepped towards her at the same time.

Just as she was bringing her left arm to incapacitate one of his legs, and hopefully end the powerful jutsu, she felt two pairs of hands simultaneously grab both of her arms, and painfully jerk her towards the ground. Clones had transformed into rocks, and were waiting for her to charge him in wait.

Naruto was advancing quickly with the rasengan in hand. She fought with the clone on her right arm, and succeeded in stabbing it in the chest, dispelling it. She swung the sword at the Rasengan again, to dispel it, but was too late, as he was already in her guard, instead it swiped against his back. He shoved the rasengan at the middle of her torso, and immediately ended it as soon it came into contact, which made it explode in a concussive force onto her torso. She was slammed into the ground, which cracked on impact.

Unconscious.

Naruto was the winner, but he was sporting a nasty gash on his back from Fu's last attack

Yugito was evaluating both of their fighting styles quietly.

'Fu is definitely a retaliatory fighter, a fighter who mostly uses counterattacks, momentum, and speed against her opponents. She has an interesting array of jutsu which compliment her fighting style, and is incredibly fast, lithe, and maneuverable. However, she's not very strong physically, and is prone to falling into traps.'

'Naruto is not as skilled as Fu, but he makes up for his lack of skill with very punishing jutsu, as well as using overwhelming numbers to incapacitate his opponents. He is also really good at coming up with battle strategies on the fly. However, he rushes into situations without thinking them through fully, and needs to know when to advance, and when to retreat.'

Temari and Kurotsuchi looked on, dumbfounded. Neither of them expected Naruto to be that strong.

The morning might have been horrible, but the afternoon of their first day of being married, was at least exciting.

**AN/ that was my first fight scene**

**Please tell me how I did, and how I might improve.**


	8. the self

Chapter 8

**AN/ pro tip: proofread anything thing that you type into your computer, there might be typos**

Training ground 7

Yugito knew rudimentary chakra healing. It was difficult for her to learn, due to her huge chakra levels, and she couldn't use anything beyond the scope of simple laceration healing. At the time of her wanting to learn medical healing, she was in the mindset of becoming a well-rounded kunoichi jonin, and making her village proud of her.

As she healed the wound on Naruto's back, which was a slow process, he tried to start a conversation.

"Hey Yugito?

"Yeah?"

"What do you fight for?"

This question caught her unawares.

"Well… I fight for the good of my village, and its people."

"No, I meant, uh… _Why_ do you fight? I guess?"

Yugito thought for a second.

Then another.

Then another.

Sensing that she might not have an answer that was easy to articulate with words, he gave his own reason, to help jog her thought processes. "I fight for the people who are precious to me."

"Oh?" she said in a surprised tone. "You're a Jinchuuriki from a nation that doesn't really trust Jinchuuriki. Who do you have that are precious enough to you that you fight for them?"

"I don't have a lot, but the few I do, I will fight to protect until my dying breath."

Yugito raised her eyebrows at the seriousness of his tone.

"Quite the stubborn guy aren't you?"

"I guess. So why do you fight?" he repeated.

"I… don't know, I don't have a reason."

"Everyone who fights, has to have a reason to fight. That's how they can truly become strong, fighting for a reason." Naruto gave the same speech that Haku had given him about true strength.

Yugito was silent for a while.

"Don't you have anyone to fight for?"

"Not anymore."

That shut Naruto up really quick.

"So what was up with you in the shared mindscape?" she asked her own question.

"What do you mean?"

"Well when you first went in there, you were talking about how you 'took that teme's chakra as rent', but then you started spewing apologies to it. That was quite the 180."

"… I don't know, I guess that when I heard about what he went through, I felt like I could relate to him a little. Pervy-Sage had just given me a speech about 'understanding', and when the Kyuubi told us about the stuff that happened to him, I just kinda… reacted."

"Hmmm. You don't really seem to plan out your moves ahead of time, do you?"

"Oi!"

"But it seems that it always works best for you in the end." Even if that conversation happened to end with the Kyuubi ejecting everyone out of the shared mindscape.

"Oh… well Kakashi-sensei _did_ tell me that I was good at coming up with plans on-the-spot."

The healing had finished by the time he was done talking.

Unbeknownst to them, Kurotsuchi and Temari were having their own conversation, next to the unconscious Fu.

"I didn't think that he would have such powerful jutsu." Kurotsuchi said.

Truly, a B-rank clone technique, and an A-rank shape manipulation technique was quite the repertoire of ninja techniques. He was lacking in quantity, but making up for it in quality. Which was ironic, given his fighting style

"I've seen him fight a couple other times, but it's still really weird to think that he's that strong, he's always so childish otherwise."

"You've seen him fight before?"

"It was as the chunin exams, he beat a Hyuuga that was said to be the best of a generation, and he didn't even know the rasengan at the time."

"Holy shit."

"He also beat my brother while in his tailed beast mode."

"Gaara? Really? How?" Kurotsuchi asked.

"He also knows summoning, so he summoned a huge toad, and transformed it into a likeness of the Kyuubi."

"Really? Him?"

"Apparently he has huge chakra reserves."

"Oh?" Kurotsuchi's eyes lit up.

"What?"

"Weeeellll… you know what they say about men with large chakra reserves… don't you?" she looked at Temari suggestively.

"No, what?" Temari didn't notice the pervy leer that Kurotsuchi was giving off.

Kurotsuchi leaned really close to her ear, and cupped her hand around her mouth.

"They have huge dicks." She whispered.

Temari gained a huge blush and started spluttering out unintelligible sounds. All the while Kurotsuchi was almost doubled over in laughter.

This woke up Fu, and attracted the attention of Naruto and Yugito.

"What's so funny?" he asked, wanting to get in the fun.

"NOTHING!" Temari shouted.

"Wait, what?" Fu asked groggily.

Kurotsuchi knelt down, leaned in close, and started whispering in her ear. After the tale was done, Fu also sported a huge blush, and wouldn't look Naruto in the eyes.

"Okay, now _I'm _curious." Yugito said.

Kurotsuchi whispered in Yugito's ear as well, not wanting Naruto to hear.

Yugito didn't react outwardly when the tale was done. "I thought that theory was disproven." She stated.

"There's a correlation." Kurotsuchi said with a mischievous smirk.

"What are you guys talking about" Naruto asked, getting frustrated now.

Yugito looked at him dead in the eyes, with the upmost seriousness that a proud jonin of the hidden cloud village could muster.

"It's about our periods."

This statement only made Naruto look even more confused, which set off another round of laughter for Kurotsuchi.

Yugito looked at the situation with a light feeling in her chest.

'This is actually kind of fun.' She thought to herself. She couldn't remember the last time she had that feeling in her chest.

The feeling of actually enjoying herself.

The sun's position told her that it was about 4-5ish.

"So what do we do now?" she asked.

Naruto and Fu were still beat up from their spar, and Kurotsuchi and Temari were still low on reserves from that morning; so that crossed out training. It was late-ish, but not late enough to get dinner.

Fu started to gingerly get up. "Why don't we go to the hot springs?"

"That sounds like a great idea." Temari said. The massacre of an entire forest was always good for the soul, but nothing helps people unwind like soaking in hot water.

Kurotsuchi, Naruto, and Yugito also agreed with Temari's sentiments.

They all started walking towards the hot springs while in a comfortable silence.

The trip to the hot springs was going to be a good way for them all to unwind, and to reflect on their day. However, they all stood in front of a sign on the hot springs entrance, in silence. All of them waiting for someone else to say something.

The sign read 'MIXED BATHING DAY.'

Fu, mentally, didn't feel comfortable bathing with the opposite gender.

Fu, physically, really just wanted to soak her aching body in some hot water, and call it a day.

Her physicality won the inner debate.

"I don't care, I'm going to soak." She said gruffly.

She went in, and the rest followed. Naruto felt slight trepidation walking in after them, for he had a gut feeling that something bad was going to happen to him.

After he had undressed and washed, he put on a towel to cover his sensitive bits, and went into the springs, now devoid of a divider. Luckily there were only 4 other people there, unluckily, they were people he interacted with regularly.

He stood at the side of the bath, looking at the members of team 8, unsure of what to do. Hinata was blushing up a storm, which Naruto chalked up to the bath heat. Kiba looked at Naruto with slight confusion. Shino barely reacted at all, he also had his glasses on, which was weird. And Kurenai was glaring daggers.

"Uuuhm, can I come in?" he asked. He didn't need to ask, after all, he had already paid to get in. But the look that he got from Kurenai made him think twice about it.

"…" Kurenai continued to glare at him. "If you came in here to peep on women, like your sensei-"

"What? Nononono, I don't peep on women." he said quickly. "I came here with some friends." Naruto was getting nervous at the look that Kurenai was giving him.

Her expression cracked however.

"Okay, just stay on that side." She said, pointing to the opposite side of the bath. Naruto quickly entered

"So who are you here with?" Kiba asked.

"Oh, uuhh, just some friends?" he said, while Kiba deadpanned.

"Yeah, I heard you the first time. I was asking for names."

"Why are you so interested?" he asked defensively.

"Why are you so defensive? I'm curious."

It was at this moment that Yugito walked in, and sat down next to Naruto.

"If you look…" she gave a forewarning.

"I won't! God, why does everyone think I'm a pervert?" he said exasperatedly.

"Uuuhhh, because of your sexy jutsu?" Kiba offered.

"That jutsu has real world battle applications." He said indignantly

"No it doesn't, you're just a pervert"

"Yeah it does, and I'm not a pervert."

"So you go out into the open battlefield, get everyone to look at you, then you change into a naked blonde, and everyone's out like a light?"

"No, it's supposed to work on an individual level."

"What if the individual isn't a pervert, or a woman?"

"It's a trump card!"

"Keep telling yourself that. You just created that jutsu so you could look at yourself in the mirror"

"What?!" Naruto turned a bright red. "I've never done that once."

"I am willing to bet a large amount of money that that's the exact reason the jutsu was made."

"It wasn't!"

"It so was."

"Who is she?" Shino interrupted.

Naruto looked at Yugito in realization. "Oh, sorry, this is Yugito, and these people are Hinata, Shino, Kiba, and Kurenai-sensei." He said, gesturing to each of them in turn. "Where are the others?" he asked Yugito.

"Still getting ready." She said to him. "It's nice to meet you." Yugito said, greeting the other occupants.

"Her chakra is abnormal, like yours." Shino said in monotone.

This made her tense up immediately.

"Uhh" she mumbled out.

Naruto didn't know if Yugito being a Jinchuuriki was a secret that needed to be kept.

"…We can't… tell you… why" Naruto got out with difficulty. Better safe than sorry.

"I wasn't looking for an explanation, I was just making an observation."

This made Naruto and Yugito visibly relax.

"Oh, oh Christ Shino… you… you are a strange one." Naruto said, it felt like he almost had a heart attack.

Shino looked on impassively.

"Uuum, how do you know Naruto-kun?" Hinata said quietly.

"We met yesterday at the peace talks, he's showing me around Konoha."

"Peace talks? You're from a different village?" Kurenai asked.

"Cloud."

"Since when were we having peace talks with cloud? I thought that we were still on bad terms after the Hyuuga incident."

"The peace talks happened yesterday, and it's a long story as to why it happened." Yugito stated.

Enter Fu, Temari, and Kurotsuchi; who all sat down opposite of team 8.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." Fu moaned out when she hit the water. "I love hot springs. There aren't any good ones in waterfall." Or at least any that would let her in.

"Waterfall is in on the peace talks as well?" Kurenai asked. Waterfall was on good terms with Konoha, but there weren't any formal treaties with it.

"Huh? Oh, the peace talks… yeah, waterfall is there too." She said offhandedly, not really caring at the moment.

"Yo, I'm Kurotsuchi of stone, and this is Fu of waterfall, and Temari of sand." Kurotsuchi said, introducing the rest of their group.

Kiba introduced team 8, while Kurenai's eyes went wide.

"There are peace talks with stone, sand, cloud, and waterfall?" this wasn't just delegates coming to talk about peace treaties and trade agreements. This was the formation of an alliance.

"Yeah, Tsunade-Granny is going to talk about it at her inauguration." Naruto said, sinking into the soothing waters of the spring.

'Should I be talking about this? Meh, I don't really care, granny owes me.' Naruto thought to himself.

All of Naruto's group began to thoroughly sink into relaxation.

After about half an hour, Kurotsuchi's eyes opened with a mischievous glint, and after about 5 minutes of inner debate over whether or not she should do what she was thinking of doing, she asked Naruto a question.

"Can you grab me the brush over there?" she said, pointing out of the bath.

Naruto's eyes opened up. "Oh, sure."

Naruto began to get up, paying special attention to keep the towel over his sensitive area. Just when he was out of the water, Kurotsuchi pinched an edge of his towel, and pulled hard.

The towel came off, he yelled in surprise and turned around to face Kurotsuchi, who still had his towel, inadvertently flashing all of the occupants of the bath.

Hinata fainted and sunk into the water, Kiba's eyes grew wide, Shino didn't look the least bit perturbed (and also went over to make sure Hinata didn't drown), Fu sported a mighty blush, Temari looked away quickly, Yugito stared without a care in the world, and Kurenai's eyes opened up just in time to see the flashing. Her eyes narrowed just as fast, and began to start a genjutsu.

Naruto quickly covered himself. "No! Wait, I don't!... uuhh." Naruto, too flustered to talk, ran quickly back into the locker room area.

Kurotsuchi was giggling madly. It wasn't that she wanted to see his junk, it was just that she found extreme pleasure in seeing him embarrassed.

She twirled around his towel, and looked at Yugito. "See, I told you. Correlations."

"Correlations indeed. I'm going to check up on him." He didn't look to be in the best of emotional states when he ran off.

She went into the locker room, only to find a note reading. 'I'm at home.' Yugito shrugged, walked into the bathing area, and informed its other occupants.

Fu looked at Kurotsuchi and asked, "Don't you think that was a bit much?"

Kurotsuchi gained her trademark mischievous smile. "Oh? I didn't see you looking away."

"But, that's. Uhm…." Fu started to fumble for words.

"That's what I thought." Kurotsuchi said, ending the conversation.

Back with Naruto, we would see him making a few pit stops at various stores before making his way back home.

When Naruto's wives decided that they had enough of the hot springs, they headed back home.

When they arrived, they saw that Naruto was busying himself with cooking dinner. It looked good; chicken, potatoes, and various other greens, all looking like they were cooked, or in the process of being cooked to perfection.

"You can cook?" Temari asked.

"I just follow the instructions on the book, it's no big deal."

"Still, this much…"

"I wanted to make you guys feel a little bit more at home" Naruto responded angelically.

A bit too angelically.

The food was almost done, so everyone took spots at the dinner table. Naruto mentally marked where everyone was sitting, and then brought the food over, with a foxlike smirk on his lips all along the way.

The food was really good. It wasn't perfect, after all, perfection couldn't be expected from someone who had just made the dishes for the first time. But it did make everyone feel better about the arrangements that was forced upon them.

If only slightly.

Kurotsuchi felt particularly guilty for what she did at the baths. She didn't expect him to put it behind him so fast, or that he would make such a delicious meal for all of them in spite of it. She felt an innate desire to apologize to him, but when she made eye contact with him, and she saw such innocent, genuine eyes, the words dyed in her throat. How could she explain to him why she had done it? 'I find pleasure in seeing you embarrassed' is hardly an acceptable apology.

It's a really good thing that she didn't apologize, as Naruto might have felt bad for what was planning to do to her. He still would have done it, but he would have felt slightly guilty about it.

"So Yugito, you never did tell us how we did in our spar" Fu stated

"Oh yeah," Yugito paused to swallow the food in her mouth.

"Well, you" she pointed to Naruto, "need to work on taijutsu, or at least the grappling and counter-evasion aspect of it. Fu would have won multiple times over before the spar ended with all of the holds she put you in." Yugito paused again to stuff her face full of food and swallow.

"And you" she pointed to Fu this time, "need to work on foresight. Or at least consider any traps or ambushes that the enemy might have made."

"What about Naruto?" Temari said, cutting in "he rushed into every engagement."

"He only rushed in when he knew that Fu couldn't have made any traps, such as with the taijutsu engagements. After that, he had clones attack Fu before he went in."

Naruto smiled with a mouth full of food, and started scratching the back of his head in embarrassment. He hadn't actually done that purposefully, that was just how it worked out for him.

"Hey Yugito?" asked Naruto, "How do I go into my mindscape by myself?"

"You just think hard about it."

"Oookay… define 'think hard'."

"Stop thinking of anything other than the Kyuubi, or the mindscape; and you'll get sucked right in. It might be hard the first few times, but you'll get used to it. Do you have anything to ask it?"

"Nothing really, I just thought that the Kyuubi might get lonely, and would want someone to talk to."

Yugito and Matatabi have never really conversed other than when necessary, but they both have a grudging respect and trust in each other. That trust is needed when the tailed is beast is given free reign of the mindscape. Although she knew that Bee and Gyuki talked a lot, she had always thought of Bee as a _very_ unique shinobi. So she was slightly surprised when she heard Naruto basically say that he was going the friendship route.

"Well, be careful, the tailed beasts aren't the most sociable of things."

"Okay."

At this point the food was almost all eaten up, and everyone had decided to go to bed early. As they hadn't had the best of awakenings the prior morning.

Everyone went to their rooms, and Naruto to the couch again. He put on his trusty penguin sleeping hat, and started to feign sleep.

Naruto waited until he heard snoring from Kurotsuchi's and Fu's room, before he snuck in, and enacted his plan.

*10:00*

Yugito woke up extremely thirsty, and started to wonder whether or not she should leave the confines of her king sized bed to get some water. However, soon the thirst became so unbearable, that she had no other choice than to walk to the kitchen to get some water.

On her way back from the kitchen, she noticed Naruto sleeping on the couch. Or, more accurately, she noticed the position that he was sleeping in.

It looked really uncomfortable.

He even had a pained expression on his face as he slept.

She knew that she should have just let it alone, but upon remembering the dinner that he made everyone, and his embarrassing scene at the bathhouse, she figured that he could at least use some comfortable sleep.

She walked over, and tried to position his body in a more comfortable state. Which only made it look worse. She tried again, only to succeed in knocking Naruto off of the couch, subsequently waking him up.

"Huh! What?! Oh… it's only you Yugito… what do you want?" he said, in between various states of confusion. He noticed that she was in neko pajamas.

"You… looked uncomfortable, so I tried to position you better." She said in a slightly embarrassed tone.

Naruto sighed. "I'm fine, you don't need to worry." He climbed back onto the couch, into a 'sleeping' position, which still looked extremely uncomfortable.

"Look… *sigh* you can sleep in my bed tonight."

He's just a child, right? So it should be okay.

"Oh!? Uuumm, its fine"

"No, it's not. That couch looks really uncomfortable."

It was true. That couch was definitely not designed for being slept upon.

"… If it's really okay…"

"Just stick to your side, and I'll stick to mine." She gave him a small smile

Naruto smiled back at her.

He was having trouble sleeping. He had never slept in the same bed with someone else, so he didn't know the etiquette. As he was busy worrying over what he was, and wasn't supposed to do, he didn't notice that Yugito hadn't fallen asleep as well.

"That's a cute hat." Yugito said, in regards to his sleepwear.

Apparently, she was having trouble sleeping in the same bed as well.

"Oh? Thanks." Naruto was slightly surprised, as he thought that she had fallen asleep.

"Having trouble falling asleep?" she asked.

"Yeah, I've never slept in the same bed with someone else before."

"Hm. Neither have I." Yugito responded sleepily.

"Oh, haven't you had… like, you know, a boyfriend before?"

Yugito's eyes opened upon realizing her slip of the tongue.

"Well… when people are scared that you might lose it at a moment's notice, transform into a giant two-tailed cat, and started murdering people. Potential suitors stop showing up." She said quietly.

"I thought Kumo really liked their Jinchuuriki, why do people think that you would do that?"

"It's happened before."

Naruto's eyes opened wide in surprise.

She sat up from bed. Now fully awake. She had a slightly somber expression on her face.

"Don't tell anyone else what I am about to tell you."

"Oookaay" Naruto said in a nervous tone.

She breathed out a might sigh, and started her story.

"When I was a kid, the third Shinobi war was happening. I was the Jinchuuriki of Matatabi at the time. We have a process in which Jinchuuriki can attain the full powers of their tailed beasts through a method of self-realization, but children, for some reason, can't do that. I was an 'untapped war asset' so instead, I was put through a detestable regimen, where I would learn how to use the bijuu's power. It eventually worked, and I was put on a genin team, to help with my lack of teamwork abilities. I loved them. We ate together, slept around the campfire together, laughed together. I finally had friends." Her eyes started to tear up. "On our third deployment into the battlefield with 5 other teams, we were ambushed by leaf ninja. It was at least 10 to 1 odds." She paused. "My friends both died instantly. There were no heartfelt last words. There were no tearful goodbyes. They were just gone. I remember a feeling of pure, unadulterated rage, and that's all I remember of the battle. When I came to, I was being carried back to Kumo by the lone survivor of the conflict, a jonin that I didn't know. Apparently I lost it, and turned into Matatabi. I was told that I had killed everyone, even people who were on my side. The jonin must have told other people what happened, because after that, I was held at arm's length by everyone at Kumo. I don't think that I was ever hated, after all, I had killed scores of leaf ninja. Without me, the entire platoon would have died, and the leaf ninja would have continued to live. But with me, at least 100 of the leaf shinobi died. It didn't matter how in control of my emotions I had become, it didn't matter that I had accomplished self-realization, and gained full control of my powers. People didn't trust me. And ever since then, I've been alone."

A lone tear slid down her cheek.

"I trust you." Naruto said quietly

"Huh?"

"I trust you."

She gave a dry, choked laugh. "You hardly know me."

"But still, I trust you."

"And why do you trust me?"

"I don't know, you just seem like a trustworthy person."

"Heh. Thanks." She said, slightly sarcastically.

"… I know what loneliness feels like. It feels horrible, like nobody even accepts your existence, like nobody will acknowledge you. I don't want anyone to ever feel that pain." Naruto said, in a moment of sincere seriousness. "The reason I fight, is to protect the people who acknowledge me, my most precious people. If I fight to protect you, will you fight to protect me?" he offered a fist.

She looked at it for a while.

"Sure." They bumped knuckles.

"So how does it feel?"

"What?"

"Not being alone anymore?" Naruto said with a grin that almost split his face.

Yugito looked upon his smiling visage, and said silently uttered "It feels good."

They both laid down to rest, and proceeded to have the best night's sleep that either of them had ever had in their respective lives.


	9. the advancement

Chapter 9

Naruto woke up the next morning in a bit of a pickle.

Namely he was being spooned by Yugito.

She didn't just have an arm draped over him. She was completely hugging him, with both her arms and legs holding on tight to him.

It was the type of hold that someone would expect another to use on a teddy bear, or a hugging pillow.

The perfect glomp

Needless to say, Naruto couldn't break free. Not without waking up Yugito, and he was very afraid of what would happen if she was suddenly awoken while they were in that position.

They might have bonded last night, but Naruto still didn't understand the enigma that was the female mind.

So he went back to sleep, it was rather comfortable in that position after all. And since she was the big spoon, once she woke up, she wouldn't be able to blame him.

Kurotsuchi woke up the next morning in a bit of a pickle as well.

Namely, all of her clothes that she took with her via storage seal were dyed a bright, neon pink.

The only other thing that she had that wasn't dyed pink, was her sleepwear, which consisted of black mesh panties and a plain, white T-shirt.

She couldn't go outside in either wear.

She quickly put on pink pants, and stormed out of her room to look for Naruto. Fu was just glad that the source of the snoring had vanished, and that she was able to get some more shut-eye.

Kurotsuchi checked the entire house (sans Temari's or Yugito's rooms), but couldn't find him.

'He must have gone to mission assignment, or something' Kurotsuchi figured.

She wouldn't be able to go back to sleep, not since she was so fired up at the moment. So she put her excess energy into making herself breakfast.

Getting angry in the morning with no outlet for it really makes one hungry.

She cracked some eggs into a bowl, and started to furiously beat it into egg paste. After that, she cut up some ham and greens, and mixed those in as well. And fried the whole thing.

It turned out to be a huge fucking omelet. She had put waaaay too many eggs in.

But, in her fired up state, she decided that the omelet wouldn't go to waste, and was determined to eat the whole thing.

She placed the huge omelet on the table, and sat down in the chair that she had sat in the previous night. She wasn't expecting it to collapse under her weight.

Kurotsuchi shrieked as she fell down. She was not expecting that.

She grumpily got up, and sat down on another chair to begin eating, but only got halfway before she needed to stop and rest.

Temari walked in on a strange situation.

Kurotsuchi was on the couch, holding onto her distended stomach, while groaning. She was wearing horrible pink neon pants, and there was half of a huge fucking omelet on the table, where there was a broken chair next to it.

Temari chose not to comment, and sat down to eat some of the huge omelet.

Fu walked in, sat down, and began eating the omelet without comment as well.

It was a surreal sight.

It was 9:30 before they had eaten their fill, and Temari decided to wake Yugito up for the day.

Which led to Temari walking in on another strange situation.

Naruto was being held to Yugito like a hugging pillow in the bed that they were sharing. There was a sheet covering them, so she couldn't be sure of their states of dress.

She quickly closed the door before she could wake up its inhabitants.

With a blush on her face, she reentered the kitchen.

"Sooo, Yugito was… with Naruto" Temari said, unsure of how to articulate what she saw.

"What!?" Kurotsuchi questioned loudly, sitting up.

"He was here all this time?" Kurotsuchi muttered under her breath. "Were they…" she made the hand motion for sex.

"I don't know." Temari said, still blushing.

"Eh, bleh… wow." Fu was a loss for words. An affliction that seemed remarkably common as of late.

"I am sooo killing that kid." Kurotsuchi said, getting up from the couch.

"Why? They are… married, after all." Fu stated, with a heavy blush.

"He works fast" Temari muttered under her breath.

"What? NO! He dyed all of my clothes pink!" she cried indignantly.

They breathed out "Oh." Now understanding Kurotsuchi's choice of clothing.

"But, if they were…" Temari paused "then wouldn't Yugito get angry if you attacked him?"

Kurotsuchi looked like she was on the verge of exploding. "Like I give any fucks. All of my clothes are ruined. I can't go outside."

"Well, you did make him flash his friends…" Fu said.

Kurotsuchi turned around and punched a wall.

On the back of her T-shirt were the characters for 'Pinkutsuchi.'

Neither Fu nor Temari decided to bring that up.

They all heard the door to Yugito's room open. None of them moved as they heard Yugito slowly walk into the kitchen area, wearing her neko pajamas.

"You guys are really loud." Yugito said, sitting down.

She started to stretch her body out, while sitting at the table. "Ah, that was the best night ever." She said, unknowingly confirming an untrue notion held by the 3 other kunoichi. Yugito began to dig into the omelet, which was almost gone.

"You fucking shotacon." Never let it be said that 'Pinkutsuchi' was not blunt.

Yugito spat out her food in surprise. "What?!"

"You fucked Naruto. Isn't he like half your age?" 'Pinkutsuchi' asked,

"I didn't fuck anybody!" Yugito cried incredulously. Which was rather out of character for her.

"Then why were you two sharing a bed, while you clung onto him like a hugging pillow?" Temari asked.

"He looked uncomfortable on the couch! So I let him sleep with me!" Yugito, at this point, was sporting a massive blush.

"Then why were you cuddling him?"

"I must have done it in my sleep!"

Silence reigned amongst the four wives of Naruto Uzumaki.

Yugito was glaring at all of them, as if daring them to say something.

The door the Yugito's room opened again. None of them moved as they heard Naruto slowly walk into the kitchen area, wearing his pajamas.

"You guys are really loud." Naruto said, sitting down.

He noticed that they were all glaring at him.

"What?"

"Nothing." Yugito said.

"Nothing, my ass. You dyed all my clothes pink!" Pinkutsuchi cried out.

"Well don't mess with the prankster king of Konoha." Naruto said nonchalantly. He began to chow down on the nearly gone omelet.

"Naruto… what did you do?" Yugito said dangerously.

"I dyed all of her clothes pink, and messed with the chair that she sat down in last night." He looked at the pile of timber that used to be a chair.

"That was you too?!'

"You shouldn't prank people. You are a chunin from Konohagakure, act like it." Yugito stated.

"Yes Ma'am." Naruto said, with his head lowered.

She looked at him with affection.

Yugito didn't love him. At least not romantically. To her, he was like an annoying little brother, or at least what she thought having an annoying little brother would be like. He was immature, and loud. But he understood her. And she did care for him in that way.

To make someone so closed off from other people able to trust him in a matter of less than 24 hours is nothing less than remarkable. But he was Naruto, that's sort of his MO. That and Yugito has always unconsciously had a desire to connect with other people, something that she was unable to do back in Kumo.

Pinkutsuchi looked like she was about to murder him, but decided it unwise when she received a glare from Yugito.

She sighed in defeat. "Hey Temari, I'm going to borrow some of your clothes."

Temari didn't deny her that luxury.

When Yugito's attention was drawn back to breakfast, Naruto looked over his shoulder and started making faces at Pinkutsuchi.

Her left eyebrow began to twitch violently.

'I am sooo getting him back for this.'

Some ninja continue the cycle of hatred through senseless killing and a lack of understanding. Kurotsuchi and Naruto would continue the cycle of pranks though lots of glue, rubber, dye, and absolutely no apologies.

And it would be glorious.

To them at least.

Front Gates of Konoha

Team 7's mission had not gone well.

It was a success, but it would not be an understatement to say that the mission went FUBAR.

It had ended with Sasuke and Sakura knocked out due to injuries, and Kakashi carrying both of them back to Konoha.

Nobody was in a good mood. Or more accurately to say, nobody would be in a good mood once everyone was woken up.

After handing both of them to the hospital, he headed down to the Mission assignment to give his report.

Back at the house.

"Hey Fu, can you help me with my taijutsu?" Naruto asked, using the sweetest voice that he could conjure.

"I _can_"

"Yatta!"

"But what's in it for me?" she said with a smirk on her face.

Naruto deflated. But quickly rose up to the challenge "What do you want?"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Well?"

"I don't want anything at the moment." She replied cheekily.

"I'll owe you one." Naruto said enticingly.

"And what would you owe me?"

"Anything." She looked at him with slight mischief in her eyes.

"Within reason" he quickly added once he saw the look in her eyes.

"Hmmmmm…"

"Pleeeeeaaase." Naruto said in a slightly whining voice.

"Okay, okay. It's not like I have anything better to do."

"Yatta!"

He ran out the door, and bid Fu to follow him.

"I'm going shopping" Kurotsuchi said.

She traded out her pink pants with some of Temari's normal brown pants, one of the few pairs of pants that she owned, but neglected to change shirts. So she was still walking around with 'Pinkutsuchi' on her back.

"I'll go with you" Temari said.

"I'll go too." Yugito said as well.

They both went to change into their outdoor clothing, and met up at the door

Training ground 17.

Training ground 17 was basically just a flat, grassy plain. Perfect for taijutsu, or genjutsu training.

"Okay, what do you want to know?"

"Taijutsu."

Fu deadpanned. "What aspect of taijutsu."

"Uuuuhm, what did Yugito say I needed to work on?" Naruto asked sheepishly.

"Grappling, and counter-evasion."

"Okay. Got it. What's grappling and counter-evasion?"

Fu deadpanned again. "Grappling is basically using an opponent's momentum against them, using grabs, feints and throws. Counter-evasion is evading the opponent's strikes, usually when they counter, or grab you."

"Wow, you're really smart."

"Not really, it's just the basics of taijutsu."

"Well we weren't taught that in the academy in Konoha."

"We weren't either. I learned this from my sensei. What have you been learning?"

"Uhhh, chakra control exercises, teamwork…" she nodded. "Aaaaaand that's it."

"…What? That's it? Chakra control and teamwork exercises? How long have had your sensei?"

"About… half a year."

"What!? That's insane!"

"We take missions too." He said indignantly.

"So have I. I've had my sensei for a year, and he's taught me taijutsu, genjutsu, kenjutsu, ninjutsu, survival techniques."

"Who is this guy? He could teach Kakashi sensei a few things about being a teacher."

Fu adopted a sullen look. "He died a month ago, on a secret mission."

"Oh… uh, sorry. What about your other teammates?"

"Never had any. I was assigned to my sensei along with two others, but their parents had them taken out of my team, so it was just me and sensei."

"I'm… sorry for your loss."

"It's okay." She took a deep breath. "Let's get started. Get in your normal combat stance."

He did so. Both legs bent into a crouch, with the arms in front of the torso and face.

"Okay, I'm going to throw a punch at you, do what you do normally when someone tries to hit you."

She wound back her arm, and threw a forward punch aimed at his torso. Which he blocked with one of his arms, and bent his torso slightly forward, to make the shock from the blow lesson it by having it be delivered through more surface area.

"Okay, that was a good block. But when possible, it's more effective to parry the blow."

He leveled a questioning stare.

She sighed "to parry means to redirect away from the body. For example, try to hit me."

He took his stance again, and threw a right-handed punch at her torso. She raised her left arm, and pushed his arm to her side of her. He lost his balance, and almost fell on his face.

"Parrying is more effective because it causes less harm on the body, it also takes less energy to perform, and if used correctly can be used to unbalance the target. However, it can be slightly difficult to perform, and blocking is better used when facing against a faster opponent. As a failed parry can leave openings that the enemy could take advantage of."

Naruto was soaking this up like a sponge. "Wow, you're already a better teacher than Kakashi sensei."

Fu glowed at his praise, she wasn't used to being looked up at with such admiring eyes.

'Teaching is kinda fun.'

"Okay, I want you to try to parry."

"Yosh" he said with a salute

She cocked her fist back, and threw it at his torso. He tried to mimic her previous move, but was a bit late. He moved the punch, but it clipped his shoulder.

He cried out in pain and surprise.

"I forgot to mention, if you partially parry the hit, then you run the risk of directing it somewhere else on your body. Which might be more devastating, because your body wouldn't be ready to defend in that particular area."

"You tell me that now." He said, slightly miffed. "Okay, do that again, I want to get this down right!"

"Okay."

She repeated the move, albeit slower, to give him a better chance at misdirecting the hit. He succeeded this time, even if he exaggerated his movements a bit too much.

"Yatta! I got it right."

"That was good, but now I'm going to show you how to parry other blows"

"Yosh"

She began to train Naruto in earnest, with her instructing him on the different blows, and how to parry them aside. It took up most of the rest of the morning, and a good chunk of the afternoon for him to get the moves down.

They were both huffing slightly after the strenuous training.

"You've got the moves down, but now you have to map them to muscle memory." She said.

"What?"

"In all taijutsu matches, you don't get the opportunity to think about your next move when you're trading blows. So you have to go through taijutsu movements often enough that when you are fighting, your body reacts to the enemy's movements without you having to think about it."

"Ahhh" Naruto said in realization.

He sat down on the grass.

"Can we take a break?" he asked.

"Yeah. Sure"

She sat down as well.

He clasped his hands together, closed his eyes, and scrunched up his brow.

"What're you doing?"

"I'm trying to enter my mindscape while my body rests."

"Oh, smart. I should probably do that too."

Naruto began to devoid any thoughts from entering his mind other than that of the Kyuubi and the mindscape. It was surprisingly difficult, as his brain was always trying to wander off onto other subjects. He opened his eyes to exclaim how impossible it was to focus on one thing, but his words died in his mouth.

Before him was the Kyuubi no Kitsune, in all of its nine-tailed glory. It opened its red eyes. Its sclera was red as well, which was abnormal, as usually only the iris was red.

"**What do you want, pitiful human?"**

"I… uuuuhh, just want to talk?"

Silence permeated the mindscape.

"**Leave" **the Kyuubi closed its eyes, and settled back down to sleep.

"No."

Its eyes opened up, this time in anger.

"**LEAVE, you pitiful human, I have no words to trade with you!"** the Kyuubi all but shouted at him.

"No"

The Kyuubi roared at him. It was an ear-deafening, heart-rending shout; that bespoke only of hatred and malice.

"**WHY. WON'T. YOU. DAMN. HUMANS. JUST. LEAVE. ME. ALONE. FOR. ONCE. IN. MY. LIFE?!"**

Naruto stood his ground. "Because I don't want anyone to know the pain of being alone."

The Kyuubi was huffing and puffing, it eventually laid back down, gave one more tremendous exhale, and leveled a glare at Naruto.

"**You aren't going to leave me alone. Are you?" **the Kyuubi asked exasperatedly

"Nope."

The Kyuubi gave another sigh. But remained silent.

Naruto decided to begin the conversation.

"What gender are you?"

This caught the Kyuubi's attention. **"I don't have one. Why do you ask? Or more importantly, why do you need to know?"**

"Well, when you were talking to the niibi and the hachibi, you all called each other 'it', and I was curious why you did that. Also, how can you not have a gender?"

The Kyuubi sighed again, it really didn't want to talk right now. **"I am a huge amount of chakra that has gained sentience over itself. I don't have a gender, because I can't reproduce. So, I lack a pronoun other than 'it'."**

"But you sound like a male, is it okay if I call you 'he'?"

"**Is it okay if I call you 'she'? I don't have a gender, but that means that I don't identify with either female or male. Just refer to me by 'it' or 'The Kyuubi'."**

"But… when something is called 'it', that means that it's an object without any sentience."

"**So invent a new gender neutral pronoun that can be used on beings of either no, or an unspecified gender. But until you do that, call me 'it'."**

That appeared to be the end of the discussion, because the Kyuubi got up, and turned around to lay down. It also flattened its ears against its head, signifying the lack of a want to listen anymore.

Fu was having a very different discussion in her mindscape.

"**Hiya, I'm Chomei, but you can call me 'Lucky Number 7'."**

Fu deadpanned. This 'talking to your bijuu' thing was going to be easier than she expected.

Training ground 17, physical world.

"HEY NARUTO, WAKE UP" Tenten screamed into Naruto's ear.

He was as still as stone.

This was weird. Tenten and Neji had just walked into their favorite training ground, and they had been greeted with the sight of Naruto meditating on the ground, next to an unknown kunoichi. Both of whom wouldn't react in the slightest to their prodding

"Do you think something's wrong?" she asked Neji.

"I don't know. Do you recognize the kunoichi?"

"Nope."

Naruto's eyes opened suddenly. "I don't thi-" Naruto went silent when he realized that he and Fu had visitors.

"Hey Tenten, hey Neji." He said amiably.

"Uh, hey Naruto. So what were you doing just now? And who is she?" Tenten asked.

"I was just… meditating. And this is Fu." He gestured to the meditating kunoichi.

"So you came over here just to meditate?" asked Neji.

"Well we were doing training before that. Oh! Neji, I wanna try something." Naruto got up, and stretched a bit.

"Try to hit me."

"What?"

"Just do it."

"Okay…"

Neji slowly got into his gentle fist stance, and threw a palm strike at Naruto. It was a simple palm strike towards the torso. One which Naruto read a mile away, and was able to redirect away from him. Neji, who was surprised by the parry, lost his balance, and stumbled to the side.

"Pretty cool huh? Fu's been teaching me how to parry." Naruto said with pride.

"Isn't parrying a term used for kenjutsu techniques?" Tenten asked.

"I don't know, Fu said that it was used in Taijutsu."

"Well you certainly surprised me." Neji said.

"So how has Bushy Brows been? Was granny able to fix him?"

They both grew somber expressions.

"Lee has a 50% of surviving the operation. He and Guy talked it over, and they decided to go through with it." Tenten said.

"Oh… that uuuhh. That sucks." Naruto said, unsure of what is proper to say in that situation.

"Yeah it does-"

Fu woke up suddenly, interrupting Tenten mid-sentence. "You'll never guess-" Fu grew silent as well, after noticing the company.

"Hey Fu, this is Neji and Tenten." He gestured to the two shinobi. "What were you going to say?"

"Weeeell I don't think that I should in present company." Fu said evasively.

"Why wouldn't we be able to hear it?" Tenten asked

"Uhhhhh. It's a secret?"

Nice one Fu.

"…Okay." Tenten didn't pry any further.

"Your mission was a success, I presume." Neji said.

"Oh, I never went on the mission. Pervy-sage needed to talk to me right before they left."

"Well I heard that it went pretty badly, both Sakura and Sasuke were hospitalized."

"What!? Are they okay?"

"Yeah, they're both walking around thanks to Tsunade-sama. Apparently it was just extreme exhaustion."

"I need to go see if they're okay. Are we done with parrying, Fu?'

"Well, yeah. But what you needed help with was grappling and counter-evasion. I taught you parrying because it's necessary for teaching you both of those other concepts."

"Teach me another time?"

Fu sighed in exasperation. "Okay, but I'm coming with you to meet your teammates."

"Why?"

"Because I don't have anything better to do." Fu spoke in deadpan.

"Okay, let's get going." Naruto sped off to the hospital with Fu in tow.

Both Tenten and Neji looked on at the pair.

"Well that was… different than usual." Tenten said.

"It was." Neji said in agreement.

Hidden sound base

"And how accurate is this information." Orochimaru asked Kabuto from his sickbed.

"Extremely sir. All 4 kage's have been seen having discussions, and I have seen the 5 Jinchuuriki for myself."

Orochimaru growled. This was going to substantially complicate his 'getting Sasuke away from Konoha' plan. Most of the top level shinobi were constantly away on missions, to show that Konoha was still strong. So there were only low-level shinobi left, who wouldn't be able to stop his plan from coming to fruition.

But if the kages really were all talking together at the same time, then that could mean an alliance. An alliance which would mean that the rest of the Jinchuuriki stationed in Konoha might be accosted to help with taking back Sasuke. Orochimaru knew of the sound 4's combat prowess, but he also knew almost for certain that they would be found out by Konoha, and that a chase would ensue. A chase that they would be taken over by if 5 Jinchuuriki followed them.

"Kabuto, get someone strong, I need to be carried somewhere."

"Er, yes sir." Kabuto quickly went to find the most physically imposing sound shinobi he could find.

Luckily enough, Orochimaru knew just the organization that was focusing on capturing all of the Jinchuuriki. An organization that he used to be a part of. An organization that he knew would help him if it meant they would be closer to their plan.

Akatsuki.

Academy administration.

Tsunade was having a slightly hectic day.

First, she had to get all the kage's together and give them the seals for the Hirashin.

The Hirashin tags would be useless, until applied to a flat surface.

They were all very wary of her idea of transporting the Kyuubi's Jinchuuriki. But after a lot of pleading, threatening, and just the tiniest bit of blackmailing. They all reluctantly agreed to it.

After all, she could only send one person to each village at a time. Even if Konoha decided to betray them, there couldn't be much damage at all from a single hirashin seal, of which could simply be destroyed.

After that, they departed to their respective villages, each leaving their retainers in Konoha.

Tsunade then went back to her studies. After meeting with Lee, and telling him news that would crush any normal person's dream, he met with his sensei and they both decided that he would go through with the operation that only had 50% chance of succeeding. This inspired her to at least go back through her medical studies, in an effort to up the percentage.

Then Jiraya decided to crash through the window.

Tsunade didn't outwardly react. And only gave an exasperated "What do you want Jiraya?"

"Awww, can't an old friend come over to say hello."

"I'm busy, what do you want?"

"… Do you know where Naruto is?"

"I thought he was under your jurisdiction."

"Well I can't find him. He's not in the house, not at any of the training grounds, not at the ramen stand."

"Maybe he's at the hospital?"

"Why would he be there?"

"Because the rest of his team came back from their mission in such a bad shape, that I had to go over and heal them personally. And they were just exhausted, so that was a waste of time. And now here you are, wasting my time!" Tsunade yelled.

He quickly put up his hands. "Okay, okay, I'll leave you alone." And promptly jumped out another window.

Tsunade sighed and went back to her medical texts.

The hospital

Naruto and Fu were in the waiting room, waiting to be allowed permission to see Sakura and Sasuke.

"So what are your teammates like?"

"Weell... Sakura-chan is really nice, and pretty, and she's also a great ninja. Sasuke-teme is kind of a dick, but he can be nice at times, and he's dependable as a shinobi."

"I can't wait to meet them."

"Yeah, I hope that they're okay."

"They're fine, you heard Tenten; they're already walking around." Fu said assuredly.

"I hope so."

The nurse in charge of Sasuke's and Sakura's wellbeing bade them over, and told them that they were allowed to see the two.

Naruto walked hastily to the room that they were being held in, and opened the door.

Sakura was in bed, resting; and Sasuke was up, looking out the room's window.

Naruto put up a big, cheesy grin. "Hey teme, how'd the mission go?"

Sasuke looked at him. "How do you think?... We completed the mission, but Kakashi had to finish it, and carry us back to Konoha." Sasuke noticed Fu. "Who is she?"

"Oh! Uhhh, hi. I'm Fu." Fu said slightly sheepishly. She still wasn't very sociable around new people.

"Fu's been teaching me taijutsu." Naruto said with a grin. "And she's really good at it." Fu started to blush, she wasn't used to receiving such vocal exclamations of her prowess as a ninja. Especially in front of other people.

Sasuke started to seethe. Why was Naruto so strong? How was Naruto so strong? He was the dead last in the Academy, and now, Naruto was dangerously close to being stronger than Sasuke. NO! He wasn't dangerously close to being stronger than Sasuke, he was stronger than Sasuke. The one who beat Haku was Naruto. The one who beat Gaara was Naruto. And Sasuke just got pushed around by some queer looking shinobi with lightning sword. And now Naruto was receiving instruction from a taijutsu expert? This did not bode well for Sasuke.

It's not that Sasuke didn't like Naruto, it's not that Sasuke didn't think that Naruto deserved that power. No, it's just that Sasuke felt useless, and weak next to Naruto. He made up his mind to kill his brother, and avenge his clan; he wouldn't be able to do that with how weak he was.

Sasuke glared at Naruto, and unveiled his sharingan. Unnerving both Naruto and Fu

He was also very, very frustrated; and the constant pain of the curse mark didn't help in the slightest.

"Naruto, fight me."

"Huh?"

"Fight me."

"Like, right now?"

"On the roof, right now."

"But… you're injured."

"Tsunade just healed me. What's wrong, I thought you had wanted to fight. Did you chicken out?"

"No, if you want to fight, then lets fight."

Sasuke walked out of the room, and began to go up the stairs to the roof. Naruto followed him. Fu gave Naruto a queer look, which he just responded with a shrug.

Once they were up on the roof, they stood across from each other.

"I've been waiting to fight you for a long time, teme."

"Whatever you say, failure."

Sasuke adopted a battle stance.

"First, put on your headband."

"Hmph, you won't be able to put a single scratch on my head, so why bother?"

"That's not it, the headband signifies that we are equal shinobi of the hidden leaf."

"You will never be my equal, failure."

"Put it on!"

Sasuke, instead, rushed Naruto.

When he got close enough, Sasuke threw a punch at Naruto. Naruto had been waiting, and pushed the oncoming fist to the side of him, causing Sasuke to stumble slightly. Naruto took advantage of the opening, and threw a punch at Sasuke's face. The fist was blocked, and Sasuke jumped back, to give himself some space.

'The failure _has_ been training.'

'Woohoo, I actually pulled off that parry.'

Fu, who had been watching on the sidelines, gave a light smile.

Sasuke charged at Naruto once again, this time going in for a side kick. Naruto caught the kick, but Sasuke just fell to the ground on his hands, and with some quick maneuvering, raised his other leg to strike Naruto's face.

Naruto released his leg, and stumbled back. Sasuke jumped to his feet, and rushed him, throwing quick, successive punches at the blond. The strikes were coming too fast for Naruto to think about parrying, so his body reacted, blocked the majority of them. When Naruto's guard was down, Sasuke wound back his arm, and sent a straight punch for Naruto's face.

Naruto brushed the punch to the side, but Sasuke was anticipating that, and head-butted the blond using the momentum from the punch.

Naruto stumbled back again, and raced into the sheets that were hanging up.

Sasuke stood and watched the wall of white, waiting for any indication that Naruto was in there.

A sudden flap of one of the sheets drew Sasuke's attention. He raced towards it, hoping to catch Naruto off guard.

"**Shadow clone no jutsu"** was shouted out. Sasuke was surrounded by clones, some he could see, and others that were behind sheets. This wasn't good, the sharingan's predictive abilities were only good on what he could see.

Clones raced at him from all sides. One jumped on his back, but he threw it off of him, into a group of other clones. Another tried a jump attack, but Sasuke caught the appendage and threw the clone into another group. Two clones race at him from the side, the one on the left threw a punch at his head, the other, to his torso; Sasuke fell onto the ground, and caught them both in the chin with either of his feet.

Four different clones side tackled him, while he was on his hands, and shouted out "U-ZU-MA-KI" with corresponding hits to Sasuke's body.

He was launched in the air, and quickly began going through handseals, ending in the tiger seal. And spewed forth flames at the clones on the ground, dispelling them.

"NARUTO BARRAGE" Sasuke had anticipated the blond to be above him, so as he turned in mid-air, he crossed both arms on his chest, but was met with a clone dispelling.

He looked on the ground. His flames were being pushed to the side by the rasengan, which was in the process of being created. Sasuke went through handseals, and shouted **"Chidori"**

Fu was getting worried, but chose not to intervene.

Kakashi was sleeping soundly in the hospital below.

Sasuke was getting closer and closer, and just when he began to thrust out his Chidori; Naruto dispelled his rasengan, and threw all the weight he had into pushing the hand with the Chidori away from him. Naruto still got a shocking jolt for all of his troubles, but he successfully parried the blow away from him.

Sasuke fell to the ground, hard. His Chidori had dispelled and he tried to get up, but Naruto jumped on him, and put his arm behind his back.

"I win, teme."

This was the scene that Jiraya jumped in on.

**AN/ as always, tell me what you think.**


	10. the start

Chapter 10

Hours earlier

Orochimaru was in a large, ovoid room. He was standing, with difficulty, on a sharp protrusion, while going through handsigns.

A single silhouette appeared before him, on another sharp protrusion.The figure was hard to distinguish, with little else to identify it other than purple eyes with a ripple pattern.

"**How are you able to contact us? We took your** **ring away."**

"Straight to the point then? I have my ways of getting into contact with people. But more importantly, I need your help, and I can help you."

The figure was silent for a while. **"Continue" **

"There are five Jinchuuriki currently residing in Konoha, as well as the Uchiha that I need for my new body. I plan to sway him to my side, but Konoha is going to try to chase him down. Konoha has almost no manpower at the moment, and if they are smart, they'll use the Jinchuuriki." Orochimaru paused, to make sure that the figure was still with him. Seeing a nod, he continued "I'll send my bodyguards, to sway and carry him back to sound. When they are being pursued, they'll split off in an attempt to stall for time, and if the leaf have any brain cells left, they'll split off as well. Creating perfect opportunities for your operatives to capture the Jinchuuriki."

Orochimaru used to belong to akatsuki, so he knew how they operated. The reason that they were split into 2 man cells was so they could keep track of each other better than if there were more. Having many different S-rank shinobi running around and throwing out huge wide scale attacks would increase the amount of friendly fires exponentially. Also, there was a need for at least 2 operatives to a given Jinchuuriki, any less and they run the risk of having casualties among the organization.

Having 10 akatsuki members and 5 Jinchuuriki running around, fighting each other all at the same time would be a complete an utter clusterfuck, so there was a need to separate them from each other and combat them individually. Orochimaru knew that, and made his plan sound as enticing as he could. The akatsuki weren't planning on capturing the Jinchuuriki for a while, but the chance at getting 5 at the same time would be too much for them to pass up.

Orochimaru was a shrewd, cunning bastard. The model shinobi.

The figure sat in thought for a long time.

"**How strong are your bodyguards?"**

"At least A-rank level, when fully powered."

The figure thought for a longer time still.

"**I will send five of my operatives, but your bodyguard unit will have to help in the capturing of the Jinchuuriki."**

An understandable notion, after all, only fools put all their eggs into one basket.

"Excellent." Orochimaru said, practically salivating.

"**When will your bodyguard unit take the Uchiha?"**

"Just be around the border to the Land of Rice Paddies next morning to afternoon. And intervene how you see fit."

"**Keep your end of the bargain, Orochimaru." **The figure knew how slippery, and conniving the snake was.

"I will be happy to, so long as the Uchiha makes it to the village hidden in sound, my bodyguards will help you take the Jinchuuriki."

He left the room, and got onto the back of the imposing shinobi that was waiting outside.

He would have to change his orders to the sound 4 slightly, but it should all go accordingly to plan.

Konoha proper.

Kurotsuchi was still slightly steamed. She was holding onto her shopping bags very tightly, signifying anger.

"I don't know what you're so mad about, the pink enhances your eyes." Temari said. Indeed wearing pink clothing did bring Kurotsuchi's pink irises out, which made her look far more feminine and pretty.

But Kurotsuchi didn't like that.

"Pink as a color has nowhere it could be successful as camouflage. Orange helps blend in with rocks during the morning and evening, blues help blend in in at higher climates, beige helps blend in with the sand, reds and browns help blend in with darker rocks. But pink is a color that could never help to conceal someone, and I hate that so much. Not only that, but I hate the color pink, and bright neon pink is the absolute worst!"

"Why do you hate pink?" Yugito asked, disinterestedly.

"Because it makes me look feminine, and I'm not feminine."

"You could say that again." Temari said under her breath.

"What was that?!" Kurotsuchi asked belligerently.

"You're digging yourself deeper. Wait, you said that you didn't like femininity, so what I just said is actually a compliment."

"It didn't sound like a compliment. It sounded like a dig."

Temari sighed. "You have to stop letting people get to you so much, you're going to die of an aneurism at a young age."

"Whatever you say, you fucking stoic."

A tic mark appeared on Temari's forehead. "What was that?"

"Isn't stoicism a compliment to a high caliber shinobi such as yourself?" Kurotsuchi said in the most insincere tone possible.

"I'm not a stoic!"

"Oh please, you're an emotional black hole."

"I do plenty of fun, and emotional things."

Kurotsuchi grabbed the bags that she had in her right hand with her left hand, then put raised her hand and put up three fingers. "Name three."

"I like flora appreciation."

Kurotsuchi ticked down one finger.

"I like training."

"Doesn't count."

"Grrr... I like… spending time with my family." Albeit, this was a fairly new hobby.

Kurotsuchi ticked another finger down.

"Uuuhhh… I like…" Temari was at a loss for words.

Kurotsuchi was waiting for an answer.

"… Whatever! I'm not a stoic!"

"Whatever you say, stoic-chan."

"Whatever _you_ say, Pinkutsuchi-chan."

"What did you call me!?"

Yugito looked on with a light smile on her face. It was kind of fun listening to their interactions. A slightly disarming thought, since they were sister-wives. But true nonetheless.

A gout of flames appeared on the rooftop of the building that they were next to. Yugito quickly looked, it was a hospital.

Her shinobi senses kicked in, and she raced up the walls of the building, with Temari and Kurotsuchi racing alongside her.

They were on the floor under the roof when the flames went out. When they reached the roof, they were met with a strange sight.

Their husband was holding down a shinobi with the sharingan, in an arm hold, with Fu looking on appreciatively, and Jiraya of the Sannin looking on in slight surprise.

"Is that the last Uchiha?" Yugito asked. She had fought several Uchiha in the third war, they were difficult opponents. She heard about the massacre, and was slightly relieved at the news that there were only two left. However, now she was looking at the one survivor that stayed in Konoha, which unnerved her quite a bit.

"Huh?" Naruto turned around and looked at them in surprise. "When did you guys get here?"

"We were surprised when the roof of a hospital suddenly caught fire, so we jumped in to help." Yugito said.

"Oh, hehe, sorry. That's teme's fault here." Naruto said, releasing Sasuke.

"You know the last Uchiha?" Kurotsuchi asked.

"They're teammates." Temari told her.

"Huh? Wow kid, you are connected."

"Yup. Oh, teme, they are Yugito, Temari, and Pinkutsuchi."

"Kurotsuchi!"

"Tomato, tom_a_to."

If glares could kill, Sasuke would be committing genocide.

"Oi, what's wrong teme? I beat you fair and square. Now you have no choice to consider me your equal." Naruto said with a cheeky grin.

"Like I'd do that, failure." Sasuke tried to get up, but failed, and fell down. The fall had been particularly bad on his legs

Naruto caught him, made a clone, and passed off Sasuke to the clone to bring downstairs, next to Kakashi. Sasuke was trying to punch the clone off of him, but he was having none of it

Jiraya sighed "I'll go get Tsunade." He flickered away. She was in surgery, but he didn't know that.

Fu walked up to Naruto, "When you said he was a dick, you weren't kidding."

"He usually isn't that bad, I swear." He put on a slightly sad look. "*sigh* whatever, so what did you guys do today?" he said.

"Well we went shopping, to replace all of the clothes you ruined." She said vindictively.

"And I went training, to reclaim the pride I had, which you destroyed when you de-toweled me in front of my friends. So we're even."

When two people enter a prank war, things never get even. And then one who does concede equality, is always the loser.

Kurotsuchi huffed, and looked away. She wasn't going to concede

The three others looked slightly amused by their interactions.

Jiraya flickered back. "She's working on that Lee kid now. So I called a med-nin."

"Why does he need a med-nin? He's in bad shape, but come on."

"We need as many shinobi to lighten the load of mission taking as possible, and having the lone Uchiha on missions saves face."

"So the teme gets special treatment, huh?"

"Yup, being the last of line kind of does that to you."

"What about me? I'm the last Namikaze and the last Uzumaki. Why don't I get special treatment?"

"Says the kid with 4 wives."

Naruto blushed and looked to the side. "That's a punishment and you know it."

"Hey kid, what do you mean when you say that?" Kurotsuchi said, with a scary look on her face, while cracking her knuckles.

"Riiight… these are the faces of pure joy and happiness, aren't they?" he said, gesturing to the rest of his harem, who looked slightly uncomfortable.

"You got a smart mouth, kid"

"And you've got a slow one."

They glared at each other. Lightning appeared between their eyes.

"Pervy-sage, are you sure we can't get these marriages annulled? I don't think I can handle spending the rest of my life with her."

"Not if you want war."

"Holy fuck. Okay, explain to me, in detail, why these marriages will end war as we know it."

The four others listening wanted to know as well.

Jiraya sighed "you've been told why. If the common citizens and shinobi see the people that they look up to acting nice with each other, then they'll see that it isn't that difficult, and at the very least, they'll try to make it work as well."

"Why can't we just hang out with each other? Why do we have to be married?"

"Kid, your marriage is a symbol. The symbol for a long lasting relationship between the nations."

Naruto looked steamed, but relented. "Bah, fine."

"And who knows kid, you might learn to like them." He said with wiggling eyebrows. All five of them blushed slightly.

"You make all females wary of your presence." Temari said, summing up Jiraya's character perfectly.

"Perfectly put Stoic-chan" Kurotsuchi said with a grin

Fu gave a quiet laugh at the nickname

"Shut up Pinkutsuchi."

Fu gave a not-so quiet laugh at the nickname.

"See, you five are bonding already." Jiraya said with a smile.

Naruto decided not to rise to the jab. "Why are you here?"

"I wanted to check up on how you're doing mentally. Your whole 'sulking' episode was kind of concerning. But you seem to be fine, so I'll take my leave." Jiraya flickered away.

"I think that after learning who my parents were, and then finding out that I'll never find love; I deserve a little sulking time." Naruto said to himself, through clenched teeth.

Naruto sighed, an affliction which he seemed to be much more prevalent as of late. "So what are you guys going to do?"

"Train, I guess." Kurotsuchi said.

"I could go for some training." Temari said, in agreement.

Yugito nodded.

"We can start your training in counter-evasion." Fu said.

"Woot, thanks Fu."

"Hehe, now you owe me two."

"What?!"

"You owe me one for the parrying, now you owe me one for the counter-evasion."

Naruto sighed. "You drive a hard bargain Fu. Okay, let's go."

Hospital room.

Sasuke was on the new bed, seething. Kakashi was in the bed next to him, awake now, and reading his ever present porn.

"What happened?"

"…"

Kakashi looked up from his porn, and asked again in a more severe tone "_What happened?_"

"Naruto beat me."

"Oh?"

"I'm too weak. He just gets stronger, and stronger, and I stay the same. I can never enact my vengeance the way I am. Not even the Chidori could beat Naruto."

"You used the Chidori on Naruto?"

"Hn"

Kakashi sighed, then closed his book. "Sasuke, Naruto is a fellow shinobi of the hidden leaf, don't ever use an assassination technique on comrades."

Sasuke seethed some more.

"You should give up on getting revenge for your clan."

Sasuke looked at Kakashi in fury.

"Nobody ever feels fulfilled from vengeance. It consumes their lives, and when they finally have their vengeance, they come to the sudden realization that they have nothing else."

"How do you know how I feel, perhaps if I killed every person who was close to you, then you'd have an inkling of empathy to how I feel. You scoff at my feelings, but if all your friends were dead, perhaps you'd feel slightly like how I do."

"Hm, you couldn't kill any of the people precious to me."

Sasuke looked at Kakashi darkly.

"After all, they're already dead. And if I wanted to kill the person responsible, I'd have to commit suicide."

Sasuke looked shocked. Kakashi got up from his bed and uttered nonchalantly, "I have to go pick up my next mission."

This left Sasuke alone, in his room, with 4 figures looking at him the building across from him.

Hospital, different room

Sakura woke up just in time to see the nurse making the bed that Sasuke left behind.

"Where's Sasuke?" She asked weakly.

"Oh, you're awake. I believe he went up to the roof with his two visitors."

"Visitors?"

"A blond boy who said he was the Uchiha's teammate, and his friend."

Sakura began to get up with slight difficulty.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just need to stretch a bit."

Once she was up, she began to walk to stairs to the roof.

Sakura was just able to catch Naruto and his merry harem before they left to train.

"Hey, Naruto."

"Oh, hey Sakura. You haven't met before have you?" he asked rhetorically. "This is Sakura. And this s Yugito, Temari, Fu, and Pinkutsuchi."

"Kurotsuchi!"

"Tomato, tom_a_to."

"Uhm, can I talk to you for a minute? Naruto?" Sakura asked.

"Uuhh sure." He didn't move.

"In private?"

"Oh, I was just about to go and train…"

"It's okay Naruto, you can just catch up later." Fu said with an upbeat tone.

"Okay." Naruto followed Sakura out the door.

"Why did you do that? I was _this_ close to pounding him into a fine paste with the pretense of training, and you ruined it!" said Kurotsuchi

"That's the girl that he's in love with." Fu said severely.

"Oh… never mind then… let's just… go." Kurotsuchi said. She may have wanted to grind the kid to dust, but even she knew when to draw the line.

The four of them jumped off the rooftop, and went in search of a proper training ground.

"So where do you want to go?" Naruto asked Sakura. They were walking out of the hospital, and proceeded to walk at a slow pace.

"Ichiraku ramen. Remember? You asked me out for a date there." Sakura said in a subdued tone.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry, a lot's been happening to me recently."

"Like what?"

"Uuuuhhh. You'll find out at Tsunade's inauguration."

Sakura thought that was weird, but chose not to comment.

They continued their walk at a slow pace. An uncomfortable silence dropped upon them as they walked to Ichiraku.

When they got there, Sakura was still silent. Even as she got her order.

Naruto started slurping his ramen loudly.

"So what did you want to talk about?" he asked

"Uuh, it's just… Sasuke's been kinda… different, lately." She said slowly.

"Yeah, a little, I guess."

She stayed silent.

"Hey, why do you love Sasuke?"

She lost her slightly depressed look, and turned to Naruto severely.

"I'm not going to give up on him."

He raised his hands. "I don't expect you to. It's just… I want to… understand, that's all."

She adopted a dreamy look. "Because he's cool, and strong, and he never backs down…" Sakura paused. "And whenever I'm near him, I feel like I'm a little stronger. I know that I'm weak compared to you two. But when I'm near Sasuke, I feel like I can be stronger, I feel like I'm already am little stronger."

Naruto sat in silence. "Thanks Sakura."

"For what?"

"I think that I finally understand you. You won't have to worry about me asking you on any dates anymore." Naruto said. He slapped some money on the table, enough for both him and Sakura.

"Why? I mean, it's not that I want you to, it's just… why?"

"You'll… find out at Tsunade's inauguration." Naruto said mysteriously.

Their 'date' had taken a considerable amount of time. It was already dark, and Naruto knew that any training now would be pointless.

He headed out in the direction of his house. Leaving Sakura to start home.

When she had just reached her house, she got a sinking feeling in her gut that told her to go to the gates of Konoha. Somewhere in her subconscious, she knew that something bad was going to happen.

Naruto opened the door to his house. Nobody was home yet.

He opened a package of spaghetti, and started some simple red sauce. The blond cooked more than he could eat, and set the rest on the side for when his housemates showed up.

He couldn't think of them as his wives. They didn't interact like a husband and wife (wives) should. So for now, they're his friends, and housemates.

Naruto climbed into Yugito's bed, he was sure that she wouldn't mind. He was also really sore from the day's activities, and he didn't think that he could stand sleeping on the couch again.

About an hour later and his wives arrived, beat, and tired. They all just nuked the spaghetti, and climbed into their respective beds.

Yugito smiled down on Naruto, he looked so peaceful in his sleep. She quickly stripped, and put on her pajama's. Then glomped onto Naruto for the night, she was a cuddler after all.


	11. the retrieval pt 1

Chapter 11

"Wait, what?"

"Sasuke Uchiha has defected from the village, so I'm ordering you to make a team, chase him down, and bring him back to Konoha. He's expected to have companions of Orochimaru along with him."

Shikamaru seemed to fumble his words for half a second. But quickly regained composure. "I request a team consisting of only jonin and chunin."

"Can't, we have only the barest minimum of chunin and jonin residing in Konoha at the moment. You'll have to choose a team on your own. Remember, speed is of the essence"

Shikamaru nodded, and made to leave.

"Oh, wait." Tsunade was considering over whether or not she should get Shikamaru to recruit Naruto. He lives in the same house as his harem, and if Naruto flies off the cuff, he might convince some of them to join him. If any of them die or get seriously injured, it could be a huge diplomatic incident.

But then again, an Orochimaru that has the eyes of the Sharingan could be far worse than a political shitstorm, and Naruto might be the only one able to persuade Sasuke back to Konoha.

She wrote down something on a piece of paper. "Go to this address, its Naruto's new residence."

Shikamaru nodded again.

"And another thing, we'll continually send reinforcements as we find them."

Shikamaru left administration and headed to Naruto's house.

The house seemed lively, considering the shouting that was taking place inside. Shikamaru walked up to the door and knocked on it. The shouting was stopped, as he heard footsteps walking to answer the door.

It was the extremely imposing cloud jonin that opened it up. She was obviously in a bad mood.

This surprised Shikamaru quite a bit, he didn't know that she was staying with him. But he didn't comment, as he was working with very little time, and couldn't waste any on idle chit-chat.

She was also wearing neko pajamas, he idly noticed.

"Is this Naruto's residence?" he asked.

"Yeah…" she said warily. "Come in."

Shikamaru had just meant to talk to Naruto outside, but he felt compelled under the neko pajama woman's gaze to follow her instructions.

Inside he found Naruto sitting across from the Iwa nin, Kurotsuchi, if he remembered correctly. Looking on at them was the waterfall kunoichi, Fu; the cloud kunoichi, Yugito; and the sand kunoichi, Temari.

Yugito looked like she was in the process of berating Naruto and Kurotsuchi when he interrupted. As evidenced by the fact that both were looking solemnly at the table, and that Naruto was covered head to toe in shaving cream.

"What did you want, Shikamaru-san?" Yugito asked

"I came to tell Naruto that I'm recruiting him for a mission to go and retrieve Sasuke, who just deserted last night."

Naruto's eyes widened considerably. "What?!"

"Speed is of the essence, and we may encounter enemies of unspecified strength… if you need time to get ready, then meet me at the gates as soon as you can. Manpower is low, so you'll have to be at your best"

Shikamaru promptly left to find more recruits.

Naruto looked dumbstruck, but quickly ran up to the shower.

Yugito walked up to her room to begin putting on her ninja gear. After she was done, which didn't take any time at all, she walked sedately back to the kitchen area.

"Where are you going?" Kurotsuchi asked brusquely.

"I'm getting ready for the mission."

"He only specified that Naruto could go." Fu said quietly.

"He also specified that they're low on manpower."

"Okay, he'd probably accept you as part of his team. But _why_ are you going? You don't have to." Temari asked.

"I'm going in order to protect Naruto."

"You're going because of _him_? Why?" Kurotsuchi asked

"Because… to me, he's a precious person."

Kurotsuchi's mouth was agape. "And just when did that happen?"

"Two… nights ago." Yugito said sheepishly. She's been doing a lot of things uncharacteristic of her as of late. Such as being sheepish, or showing embarrassment.

"So you _did_ fuck the kid."

Yugito's cheeks turned a slight shade of red. "No I didn't. Why are you always thinking that?"

"Oh please, he _became your precious person_" Kurotsuchi said with no small amount of sarcasm. "On the night that you two started sleeping together? You are so fucking him, you shotacon."

Yugito pinched the bridge of her nose and let out a sigh. "We are not having relations. I just don't feel comfortable knowing that he's sent on a mission to retrieve a traitor, while fighting foes of unspecified strength on low manpower. Not only that, but if he dies, there would be an international incident." She said.

"I'm going too" Fu said.

"Why are _you_ going?" Kurotsuchi asked incredulously.

"Because… he's my friend. Even if we're married, he's my friend… I think. I've never had a friend before, but I think that the connection I have with him is friendship. So I'm going to protect him."

Fu also went upstairs to get her ninja gear, who was soon followed by Temari.

"Not you too." Kurotsuchi said. Words could not be able to accurately describe the feeling that Kurotsuchi was having right then. Of being sane in an insane world might come close to the feeling.

"If he dies on this mission, there would be a huge diplomatic incident."

"If he dies on this mission, we wouldn't have to be stuck in a loveless marriage anymore."

"This marriage could help in leading the world to peace." Temari said in a tone that spoke of finality, and continued to walk to her room to get her tools.

Kurotsuchi belted out a mighty sigh. "Fine, you fucking stoic, I'll go too." She said to herself.

Kurotsuchi also went to get geared up.

When Naruto burst out of his room, dressed, and bolted towards the door, he was met with his wives, all dressed in shinobi gear.

"What are you guys doing?" he asked.

"We're going with you, shithead." Was Kurotsuchi's courteous reply.

"Uh- why?"

"I'm going in order to protect my precious person." Yugito said with a light smile

"I'm going in order to protect my friend." Fu said with a big, Narutoesque grin.

"I'm going in order to protect the peace of the nations." Temari said blankly.

"I have absolutely no idea why I'm going." Kurotsuchi said with a defeated tone.

Naruto's eyes would have teared up if he had the time, however, he was working on borrowed time as it was.

"Alright! Let's go!"

Naruto burst out of his room and headed to the gates, with his harem in tow.

At the gates, he was met with the sight of Shikamaru, Kiba (and Akamaru), his sister Hana (and her dog trio), Tenten, Hinata, and Neji.

Quite the motley crew indeed.

"Who're they?" Hana asked, referring the foreign kunoichi with Naruto

"We're diplomats from different villages that've come to help." Temari said.

Tenten looked at Temari with slight concern, but didn't sense any malicious intent, so chose not to speak up.

"I'm going to need a full report of everybody's battle skills. We'll talk as we run. Hinata and Neji, you bring up the rear and provide scouting details with your byakugan. Kiba, and Hana; you stay if front to track the scent. " Shikamaru stated in a professional tone.

They all nodded, and were all about to take off when Sakura ran up from the main road, to Naruto

There were tears in her eyes. "Naruto! Please… please bring back Sasuke." She dropped to her knees and began to cry in earnest.

Naruto looked on with slight solemnity in his expression. "Don't worry. Even if I have to break his arms, and carry him all the way to KonohaI'll bring him back." Naruto said, and gave her a great, big, eye-blinding smile. In order to reassure her.

He turned around and took off before he could see her reaction. Everyone else, sans Sakura, ran after him.

The Sasuke retrieval mission had started.

"Tell me when you have the scent." Shikamaru told Kiba and Hana.

They both nodded.

"Okay, everyone tell me your battle skills."

Tenten: "I specialize in the art of ninja tools, and use my sealing scrolls to hide them all. In ninja tools, I make best use of thrown weapons."

Kiba: "I specialize in tracking and the use of Inuzuka specific jutsu."

Hana: "I also specialize in tracking and the use of Inuzuka jutsu. However, I'm also a trained medic."

Fu: "I'm a support fighter, but I also am skilled with kenjutsu." Fu didn't feel like it was necessary to divulge the secret of her being a Jinchuuriki.

Kurotsuchi: "I carry the lava bloodline limit, and can use it to make poisonous gas. I also know some earth jutsu for various ranges, and I'm also good at kenjutsu."

Temari: "I'm a long range support fighter, and I use my battle fan to amplify my wind-based attacks."

Hinata: "I-I use my Byakugan to help use my gentle fist taijutsu style."

Neji: "I do as well."

Naruto: "I can create shit loads of clones, and I'm really good at stalling the enemy."

Yugito: "I know many different body modification jutsu. I am skilled in kenjutsu, ninjutsu, some genjutsu, and rudimentary healing jutsu. I mostly use fire jutsu, and I'm extremely agile." Yugito also left out her status as a Jinchuuriki.

"I've picked up the trail. There are five different scents" Hana said.

"Good, let's pick up the pace. Hinata, Neji, tell me about anything that you can see ahead of us." Shikamaru said.

"Uhm, I can see two injured ninja about a half of a kilometer to the left of us us, making their way to Konoha." Hinata said.

"We can't waste time to deviate the trail. We'll have to leave them alone."

They soon came up to a site where a small battle took place. "This must be where the two ninja got injured." Yugito stated.

"We keep on moving. Hinata? Neji?"

"I can't see anything." Hinata answered.

"Neither I."

He looked at Kiba and Hana.

"The scent's still here, but it's changed, become foul. Akamaru doesn't like it."

"Yeah, and I smell something else as well, something… different. Some things that are different" Hana said.

"Hmmm. I don't like this. It's so troublesome" Shikamaru said. "We move on, but keep your senses about you. These are companions of Orochimaru, we don't know what tricks they have up their sleeves.

Almost as soon as they left towards the scent, Neji spoke up. "I can see them, faintly, a couple of clicks away from us. They're resting."

"Okay, we're going to advance care-" Shikamaru stopped, and put his hands into the rat seal **"Shadow paralysis"** stopping Naruto from taking another step. There was a piece of thread directly under him.

"Okay, also be wary of traps. Hinata, call out any traps that you see directly in front of us."

"Y-Yes."

They began to move a much slower pace than before.

Kidoumaru sat up straight. "We're being followed."

"What?! How the fuck did anyone fall for your obvious as shit trap?" Tayuya asked

"I set second and third tier string traps under the first ones. But that doesn't matter, we're being followed."

"How many?" Jirobo asked.

Kidoumaru was silent for a couple of moments. "At least 8, probably more."

Sakon sighed. "Well at least we have the Akatsuki helping us out."

"Are we really being chased by 5 fucking Jinchuuriki? I know the Akatsuki is strong as shit, but still. Five fucking Jinchuuriki is a lot to beat the shit out of."

"And we also have to help capture them."

Tayuya sighed explosively. "This plan has so many fucking holes in it. Like what if they didn't send any goddamn Jinchuuriki? From what I hear, the Akatsuki operates for Jinchuuriki and money, and we don't got any money."

"Konoha is down shinobi as it is, and they don't know that we have the Akatsuki with us. It would make sense that they'd send them." Kidoumaru said

"And since when has Konoha operated on what strictly makes sense?" Sakon asked.

"Rrrrg. I don't know, and I don't care. We already have the Uchiha" Kidoumaru gestured to the weird looking barrel by his side. "And we already have the Akatsuki helping us out. So we just have to go with the plan, and hope for the best." Kidoumaru got up, and grabbed a hold of the barrel. "Let's go set the ambush in the clearing up ahead."

When the retrieval team was about to enter the clearing, Shikamaru held up his hand, signaling to stop. "Neji, Byakugan."

"They're there waiting for us. Four are standing, one is crouched in a… barrel? I think. And there are two more to the side of them."

"I thought there were only five." Shikamaru looked to Hana for an explanation.

"The two to the side must have not come with the four."

"So who are they?" Shikamaru asked

"U-Uhm, I don't know, but their chakra is really powerful." Hinata said.

"Troublesome, if we rush them, we might beat them with numbers; but we don't know how powerful they are. They also have set up an ambush of some sort, so we can't-" Shikamaru was interrupted by the flying three-bladed scythe that he was forced to dodge from.

"I can't fucking take it anymore! Blood for Jashin-sama!" a man wearing Akatsuki robes, with slicked back silver hair appeared before the group with a manic grin marring his face.

The retrieval team ran into the clearing, in order to get a better picture of what was going on. But they were interrupted by a large man with a Mohawk, hefting a boulder that would definitely be large enough to squash all of them at once. He threw it at them, seemingly with an ease that bespoke of great strength.

Kurotsuchi went through handseals, and shouted out **"Earth dome!"** several slabs of rock covered all of the retrieval team from the harm the giant boulder. However, the amount of chakra that needed to saturate the jutsu to make it strong enough that the boulder didn't crush it was fairly large, and Kurotsuchi was slightly winded from the effort.

Jirobo ran up to the dome that Kurotsuchi made, went through some handseals, and shouted out **"Earth dome of nothingness."** More rocks burst from the ground, and covered the dome. Creating a second shell that encompassed the first

The members inside the dome began to feel their chakra seeping away. Kurotsuchi had the worst of it, because she had to continually feed her chakra into the dome that she made to make sure that it didn't lose the chakra supporting it and fall down, crushing them.

Yugito, quickly thinking, jumped on the roof of the dome, and extended her nails into extremely long, thin, and sharp points. "Naruto, get a rasengan!" he nodded and spawned a clone to start creating the rasengan, while she started shoving, and slashing her long nails into the top of the ceiling, quickly destroying the top of Kurotsuchi's dome, and biting into the ceiling of Jirobo's dome. The dome started to heal itself however.

Not expecting this, she gave a few more, extremely chakra enhanced slashes into the dome, some even breaking surface, and screamed "Now!" she jumped down to give Naruto a clear shot.

Naruto jumped up, and shoved the rasengan into the ceiling of the dome, drilling into the weak parts that Yugito created, and with a huge explosion of concussive force, blew the top of the dome up, and outwards. The sides of both shells of the domes fell down, not harming anyone.

Hidan was waiting for them however, and thrust the top two blades of his scythe into Naruto's chest cavity.

The Naruto impaled on his scythe poofed into smoke.

Yugito rushed Hidan, with both her hand claws and her feet claws extended. She went for an overhead slash at his scythe, which he blocked. But he wasn't expecting her to suddenly grab onto the blunt part of the scythe, and use it as leverage to ram her feet claws into his lower abdomen.

He jumped back with no discernable difficulty, which was strange considering that he had 10 puncture marks in his abdomen, which went straight through his body.

Kakuzu was looking on from the sidelines. 'Hmm that was smart thinking. The woman cut into the top of the dome and got the brat to launch his jutsu there, so that the dome wouldn't fall, and crush them. She also seems rather dexterous, and capable. The Niibi might be difficult to take down.'

The retrieval team jumped out of the remains of the dome, giving him a better look at what the team was comprised of.

Kakuzu narrowed his eyes. 'I only count 3 Jinchuuriki. This is going to complicate matters.'

The three other sound guard unit made a great show of making off with the Uchiha, and leaving Jirobo behind with Hidan. Just like they were ordered to.

"They're getting away!" Naruto shouted.

Shikamaru looked at the opponents appraisingly 'We can't waste time fighting the two. Even if we have the superior numbers, they might specialize in delaying the enemy, which would explain why they were left behind.'

Kurotsuchi seemed to be having similar thoughts. "I'll stall the fatty and the religious nut. You go after the Uchiha."

"You can't do it alone, you're exhausted." Shikamaru said.

She dug into her pouch, whipped out a soldier pill, and promptly swallowed it. "I'll be fine. Go."

"I-I'll stay too" Hinata said timidly.

Kurotsuchi looked at her, then turned back to Jirobo and Hidan. "I got the nut, you get the fatty."

Hinata nodded in agreement.

Kakuzu didn't want to leave Hidan in charge of a Jinchuuriki by himself, because he just knew that Hidan was going to try and kill it. However, it appeared that there was no Jinchuuriki amongst the two fighting Hidan. Kakuzu silently followed the sound guard, slightly to the side, and completely out of sight.

Shikamaru looked at them with grave eyes, but quickly averted them. "Alright. Let's go."

The retrieval team went after the rest of the sound guard.

Hinata's eyes lingered on Naruto's form up until he vanished into the tree line.

They snapped to Hidan and Jirobo.

Kurotsuchi, Hinata, Jirobo, and Hidan were all waiting in anticipation for the other to make the first move.

Hidan, however didn't have much patience at all.

He rushed a Kurotsuchi with his scythe in hand. She quickly brought out her sword and swung to meet her opponent's instrument.

While they were in a lock, Jirobo picked up another, slightly smaller, boulder, and hurled it at Hinata. She ran to meet it, ducked under the rock at the last second, and continued to run towards him. She extended her hands in preparation of the gentle fist. He charged at her with his torso hunched forward, and his arms covering his chest and abdomen.

Hinata swung her palm at his midsection, but he didn't stop, and barreled into her, knocking her to the side. She quickly righted herself and charged at him again. He went for the same tackle maneuver as before. He had the advantage due to his superior body weight and momentum, which she wouldn't be able to sufficiently stop with her minute body size, even with the ability of the gentle fist. She knew that she wouldn't be able to attack him with him charging her like that, so when they were about to collide, she instead dove to the side, and struck him in the right leg, closing a few tenketsu points.

He grunted in pain, his movements were significantly hampered, and he wouldn't be able to run with that leg anymore. She had gained the advantage.

Back with Hidan and Kurotsuchi, they were trading blows with their weapons. Hidan had far greater strength with wielding the scythe, and was extremely skilled with using is. However, Kurotsuchi had speed, and maneuverability, which she took extreme advantage of.

Most of his swings were dodged or parried altogether, but she wasn't able to get any shots in, because he had the greater reach.

He fighting like a person who had nothing to lose, like a person with a death wish, and had absolutely no concept of the word 'risk.' Hidan would run up to her, and get directly in her guard, just to get the chance to hit her. She wouldn't take the same the risks as the person who had just recently been skewered. He was even still bleeding profusely from the midsection.

Something was wrong with him. No, something was wrong _about_ him.

'Maybe he's immune to pain, a strike to a vital point could end this' she thought.

He ran up to her again and swung his scythe horizontally. She ducked under the swing and, taking a risk, ran him through with her sword. Straight through his heart.

Instead of falling over dead, Hidan just smirked cruelly. This was just what he was waiting for.

While she was stuck within his guard, due to the sword that was stuck in his ribcage, he brought out a spike from his cloak with his left hand, and shoved it downward. Kurotsuchi let go of the sword, and backpedaled widely, to avoid the spike.

He rushed at her again, and one handedly swung his scythe in a diagonal arc. She hastily brought out a kunai and parried the blow, but was unprepared for the spike that came sailing for her midsection. She thrust her body violently to the side to avoid the spike, and almost stumbled over. However, she grabbed the sword that was still sticking out of his chest for support.

The sword slipped out of his ribcage with a wet 'schlick' and she fell on the ground along with her support.

Hidan took the initiative, and jumped on her torso, knocking the wind out of her chest. He tried to impale her, but she grabbed her sword and parried the spike to impale the ground next to her head. She swung wildly at his face, and managed to slice his nose clean off his head. A deluge of blood flowed out of the opening, and splattered her face and torso.

He jumped off of her. There was not a look of pain or surprise on his features, but rather a look of triumph. He pulled up his spike, and licked the tip of it. She touched her face, it was covered in the blood of her enemy, but she could feel the small cut on her cheek.

There was practically no blood at all on the spike after being impaled in the ground, however, there was evidently enough to proceed with his ritual.

He made a circle on the ground with blood, which had a reversed triangle on the inside. Kurotsuchi was breathing heavily, and extremely shocked by her opponent. It wasn't every day that you fought a person who could survive being skewered in the abdomen ten times, and the heart once, and could still not only stand, but seem unfazed by the downpour of blood from his empty nose socket.

Without looking away, she called out to Hinata "Wanna switch?"

Hinata didn't speak, but only ran up to Hidan, and began to fight him. Kurotsuchi, confused by the amount of fervor that Hinata had in suddenly wishing to fight the freak that was Hidan, turned and looked behind her. She was almost crushed by the huge, red hand that swiped at her.

After Hinata had disabled Jirobo's right leg, she ran up to him again, and began a taijutsu fight in earnest.

He was still immensely strong, and one punch could mean the end of the spar. But she attacked him with all that she had. Running up to him time and time again to try and hit all the points that she could before he was able to retaliate, only to dodge, parry, or jump back, and try again. His punches and kicks were at first, fast, well-placed, and done with great strength. But as they continued to fight, his attacks slowed down, they lost precision, and worst of all, they lost their strength.

Hinata charged ahead once more, hoping to end the fight quickly, and swung her palm to his head. She wasn't expecting black markings to spread out over his whole body, and for him to regain all his composure that he lost during their fight.

He caught the hand that was aiming for her head, swung the girl around, and threw her at the smaller boulder.

She impacted the rock with a dull 'thud' and slid down to the ground. The brute ran forward and tried to kick her into the rock, but she was able to just scramble away in time. The rock that she had been laying against was turned into gravel, destroyed by the power of the kick that Jirobo possessed.

Her entire body ached just from the impact from the boulder. If she was kicked into it, she would have been turned into a fine paste.

Hinata slowly got up from the ground, and back into her fighting pose. Jirobo charged her, and swung for her head. His strength wasn't the only thing that improved, as evidenced when Hinata barely managed to lean her head to the side and avoid losing her thinking organ. He swung his leg upwards, which she managed to avoid by leaning backwards.

Hinata cartwheeled backwards, hoping to regain her balance. He charged her again, and tried the punch-kick combo again, but she was prepared for it, and dove to the side of him. She quickly got back up and started striking all of the points that she could while he was still turned away from her. She was shocked to find out that only the strikes that didn't go through the markings on his body were able to shut down the tenketsu.

The gentle fist operated by striking points on the body that would restrict chakra flow. This was done with by shoving chakra 'needles' into the body and striking the points directly. A way to counter the gentle fist was to cover the body with a layer of chakra. However, this was extremely chakra intensive, and if the gentle fist user was able to create needles stronger than the chakra cloak, then it would have been for naught.

It would appear that the markings of the curse seal are physical manifestations of an external source of power, however they also contain a chakra strong enough in them to block the gentle fist strikes.

Which meant that Hinata was at another severe disadvantage.

She jumped away from him, and reevaluated her situation. If she were able to strike enough points in one go, while avoiding the markings, she would be able to end the fight. Even though he was wearing clothes, the markings held enough chakra to be visible to her Byakugan.

This might be tricky to pull off.

She created a handseal and shouted **"clone." **Immediately 4 clones of her exact likeness started to circle Jirobo. They all shouted out in unison **"8 fields of hakke, 32 palms" **

Jirobo didn't know where to defend from, so he charged the one straight in front of him and struck at was a whoosh of air, and the clone dispelled. He turned around to face the four other incoming Hinata's. In an effort to dispel the clones, Jirobo stomped on the ground, creating a mini-earthquake. This dispelled the 3 normal clones, but he miscalculated. His foot was stuck in the ground, so he wasn't able to maneuver the Hinata that was charging him.

He crossed his arms in front of his chest to protect his vitals from the blows. She simply struck at points in the arms until they hung at his sides, and then started striking points on the torso, all the while maneuvering the cursed seal markings.

When she was done, she jumped away from him and started to heave for air. That move had taken a lot out of her. She fished in her pocket for a soldier pill, and quickly swallowed it. Jirobo slowly fell to his side, not moving.

That is, until his cursed seal markings began to merge together, in preparation for level 2. Hinata looked on, dumbfounded, and extremely afraid, when he got up. His skin was red, his hair had grown considerably, and he was covered in sores.

Her Byakugan confirmed that the markings were merged, and creating a defensive chakra cloak around his form.

She wouldn't be able to fight him and win. The one technique that she was good at was rendered useless.

"Wanna switch?" She heard Kurotsuchi say.

Hinata looked at her opponent. It was a man who was covered in puncture wounds, blood, and was missing his nose. He was also creating a circle of blood of his own blood, which was still falling in great amounts.

A chilling opponent.

An opponent that the gentle fist could be useful against.

Without saying a word, she charged Hidan, leaving Jirobo to Kurotsuchi.

He stepped into the circle of blood that he was making, and adopted a really chilling look. His skin turned ebony black, with white markings in the shape of a crude skelestructure.

He took a spike that was in his hand, and tried to plunge into his chest cavity.

Hinata didn't know why she rushed and attacked him to stop him from harming himself, maybe it was that the opponent that she just fought had different battle tactics, maybe it was because she felt the feeling of impending doom emanating from his form, maybe it was because she just wasn't of a sane mind. The only thing that matters is that she did charge him.

With the energy that the soldier pill had given her, she ran at him and quickly started striking any tenketsu point that she could hit. He didn't immediately notice her at first because he was too focused on Kurotsuchi's form, and the look of blood squirting out from her ruptured torso that he was anticipating to come from impaling himself.

Hinata blindsiding him, and shutting down his tenketsu network had been such a great surprise to him, that he accidentally dropped his spike.

"Heathen!" he spat out. He took the scythe that was still in his right hand, and brought it down on the little girl. She tried to side-step the giant scythe, but this only worked partially. The top-most scythe blade impaled her lower-right abdomen, and was wrenched out painfully.

Hinata cried out in great pain, as a fountain of blood cascaded out of the hole in her body.

With one last, great, push of effort; she palmed his head, hitting a tenketsu that effected the amount of chakra going to the brain. It was a minor one, and only served to render him unconscious.

That is, if he were a normal human being. Which he wasn't.

His chakra flows abnormally slow while he's in his normal form, slow enough that a byakugan user might mistake it for a corpse. However, his chakra flow sped up slightly while in his advanced, skelly-form. This gave him just enough time to swing his scythe one again in Hinata's direction, before succumbing to unconsciousness.

Hinata was hit once again, this time in her chest. The scythe lodged itself in her ribcage, so when Hidan fell down to unconsciousness, his scythe fell with him, and Hinata along with the instrument of death.

Hinata was afforded one last thought before she fell to unconsciousness as well.

'I hope that I was of help to Naruto-kun.'

Jirobo took a swipe at Kurotsuchi, who quickly jumped away.

They assessed each other. Kurotsuchi could guess from his appearance that he had gained a significant power-up, and the speed that he showed, as well as the strength that she could guess that he possessed made her want to sheathe her sword.

After all, it isn't very smart to run at a charging elephant with a sword, it's far more logical to just encase it in cement.

She started to go through handseals. Jirobo charged at her, with the intent of stopping her jutsu. But she kept on side-stepping, dodging, and jumping away from all of his attacks.

After she went through all the seals, she could feel the ability to mold chakra slipping away. She shouted out **"congealing quicklime"**

Luckily the jutsu succeeded, and she blasted Jirobo in the face with quicklime powder. This had the effect of making him back away, and scream out in pain. The jutsu ate away at his skin, even with the curse marks helping to power him up.

Kurotsuchi could feel the ability to use chakra slipping away from her, little by little. She didn't know the reason for this affliction, but what she did know was that she needed to end the fight quickly.

She drew her sword and prepared to charge him. He roared in pain and anger, deciding that he didn't like knowing the fact that she was still breathing, and wanted to change that as soon as he could. This mainly took the form of him rushing at her like a mad bull.

Seeing no other option, she prepared herself and ran at him as well. She ducked under the fist that he sent towards her head, and thrust her sword upwards, and into his chest, directly cleaving his heart. She didn't expect the second fist that crashed into her torso, and sent her flying into a tree.

Her ribcage was half caved in. Her spine was out of alignment. She couldn't breathe properly. She was in the largest amount of pain that she had ever been in, in her life. She couldn't think. Her feeling of chakra was slipping away, and she didn't know why.

Kurotsuchi tilted her head upwards, and opened her eyes into slits. She could see Jirobo facedown, on the ground, with a sword sticking out of his chest. He appeared dead, so how was he able to hit her that hard after having his heart cleaved?

Kurotsuchi didn't know the answer. She was having a weird day, and only wanted to take a nap.

So that's what she did.

**AN/ as always, tell me how I did.**

**I'm still not very confident in how my fighting scenes go, so any input would be greatly appreciated.**


	12. the retrieval pt 2

Chapter 12

**AN/ I keep on forgetting to proofread my chapters.**

**sorry**

"Neji, how's their battle going on?' Shikamaru asked.

"I can't discern whether or not Kurotsuchi and Hinata have the advantage, or if those two freaks have it. Everyone's still alive, although, that religious freak's chakra is strange."

"How so?"

"It looks like the chakra isn't moving, signifying death. But _he_ is most certainly moving."

"Troublesome. How far ahead are the bodyguards?"

"A click ahead of us. I can also see other chakra signatures separate to them." Neji had a conflicted look on his face.

Shikamaru noticed the look. "Don't worry, I'm sure that Hinata and that Iwa nin can take care of a religious nut and a fatass." This was said mostly for Neji's sake. Neji's face didn't change.

"She's a main branch member, I should have been there to protect her."

"We need you here. She'll be fi-" Shikamaru was cut off when he received a face-full of webbing.

They all had ran headfirst into a web-like structure, with a man who had 3 sets of arms on a branch ahead of them.

Tenten was able to unseal a kunai from one of her scrolls, and attempted to use it to saw off the webbing, but it held firm. Yugito as well, tried to cut off the webbing with her extended claws, but she didn't have any more luck than Tenten.

"You're wasting your time. That webbing is infused with my chakra, you can't break it with conventional methods." The spider-like man said.

He proceeded to vomit up some shuriken made from the same stuff from the webbing.

"Looks like I get to play a fun game"

"**Multi shadow clones" **Naruto shouted out. He had managed to bring his hands together in a cross seal while Kidoumaru's attention was away from him. Although the shadow clones that he created were all stuck in the same webbing as he was.

"More little birdies." Kidoumaru said with a grin. There were 6 Naruto's in all.

"There's a five in six chance that you'll survive this throw." Kidoumaru said with a grin. He threw the shuriken-like device at one of the clones. It popped.

"Four in five chance." Pop.

"Three in four chance." Pop. Kidoumaru was stalling for time.

"Two in three chance." Pop.

"One in two chance. Wow you've got the luck of the fox don't you?" Pop.

Kidoumaru chuckled and started playing with the shuriken a bit. Tossing it up in the air, doing tricks with it; the kind of stuff that was used to unnerve a hapless victim.

"I suppose that you're that lucky one out of one." Kidoumaru wound his arm back in preparation to throw the shuriken. But was stopped by a palm strike from Neji.

Neji had figured out that since the webbing was infused with chakra, he could cut the threads using his gentle fist. While spiderman was occupied with Naruto, he secretly cut everyone loose from the trap, and ran to stop him.

"Everybody go on. I'll take care of this guy."

A white bird flew into the general vicinity.

"**Katsu"**

The bird blew up in a fiery explosion. Making everybody scatter in different directions, and the webbing go up in flames.

A man with long blond hair done up in a ponytail landed on a branch next to Kidoumaru. He was wearing the cloak of the Akatsuki, and had a manic expression on his face.

"How did you like my art?" he asked. His eyes were scanning the team.

"What the Fuck! You almost blew me up too." Kidoumaru asked incredulously.

"Oh? You should be proud that you almost got to be a part of my artwork. yeah"

"Are all of you Akatsuki freaks?"

"Says the fuckwit with six arms."

Kidoumaru conceded.

"I'll help take them as well." Fu stated.

She and Neji looked at each other, and nodded.

Naruto looked at Fu's form, she was staring ahead at her enemy with a silent determination. She was brimming with confidence. Naruto had never seen her like that.

Shikamaru nodded. "Okay everyone, let's go!"

They all ran ahead to cut off the remaining bodyguards.

Fu's and Neji's eyes didn't leave their opponents.

Deidara grabbed something from his pocket, and started mumbling. Fu and Neji prepared themselves "art is a singular moment of passion and fiery embracement. Art can never be contained by conventional means. yeah" He pulled up his hands, there was a miniature owl one of them.

He threw it and put up a sign, it enlarged greatly and started flying to Neji's and Fu's location.

"Art is an explosion! **Katsu!"** Fu and Neji jumped in opposite directions in order to avoid the blast. Kidoumaru ran after Neji, while Deidara started priming another jutsu for Fu. This time when he put up his hands, there were three miniature balls in them. When he threw them, they all blasted apart into large amounts even smaller spiders, and blanketed the area.

Fu had a general idea of what would happen if she got close to one of the white pieces of clay, so she decided to try and trick the bomber's eyesight by strafing quickly between and around the trees.

There were explosions that devastated the area around her, but it seemed that her idea of quick strafing had worked. He put his hands in his pockets again, which Fu took as the 'reload' time, and decided to attack him.

Going through the handseals necessary, she shouted **"water cutting blade"** a blade of water appeared on her hand, growing to be about 3 feet in length. She rushed his location.

He smirked and spat out, using his primary mouth, a glob of clay that transformed into a bird and flew at her.

Fu's eyes widened, and she jumped to the ground floor from the branches, undoing the jutsu all the way. There was an explosion that seared her back, and cut off the upper half of the tree she was just on. She quickly regained her composure, and started scaling the trees again. Having the height advantage would make all of the difference in this battle.

Up ahead on the tree that she was running up was a clay being in the shape of a small mammal. She immediately jumped to another tree in order to get as much distance from the bomb as she could. Only to be pushed back to the ground floor by an explosion on the tree that she escaped to.

Fu regained her composure and looked around her surroundings. All of the trees near her were booby trapped. She wouldn't be able to get close enough to Deidara to be able to feasibly launch an attack on him.

She immediately bolted and started looking for different trees that she could climb on. Spotting one, she started to run up it, only for the entire tree to turn into a pasty white. Knowing that was not a good sign, she launched herself off of it before it exploded and created a corona of concussive force and flames that flattened and burned all of the trees around it in a 50 ft radius. Fu was unfortunately caught up in the explosion, and sailed through the air, until she hit another tree and fell back to the ground.

She was coughing, trying to get air back into her lungs, and soot/blood out of them. This wasn't good, she had to get close to him to attack him, but he sabotaged all her attempts to do so.

Fu couldn't see him, which might mean that he lost track of her, or it could mean that he just wasn't visible to her.

She got up, and ran to his last known location. After arriving there, she began climbing up one of the booby-trapped trees. Anticipating that he would blow up the tree, she went through another set of handseals **"hiding in scale powder"** and ventilated out yellowish powder, which quickly refracted the light to unbearable levels. She immediately jumped to another booby-trapped tree, and started climbing that one.

There was an explosion, but it happened on the tree that she used to be climbing up, not the one that she had jumped to.

The tree that she jumped from went up in an amount of flames that was disproportionate to the amount of explosives on it. Apparently her scale powder was explosive as well.

Go figure.

Her thinking was that he still relied on sight to figure out which explosive to detonate. So she used a jutsu that obscured the ability to see, and climbed up another tree that was within the lack of sight range, protecting herself from the bomb on the first tree, and climbing up to branch level on the second tree. She didn't, however, anticipate that her Jutsu was explosive as well, luckily enough, she cleared its blast range before it could cook her back.

She couldn't see hide nor hair of Deidara, and was starting to get slightly worried. It was clear that his specialty was long-range combat, and that the only thing that she could do was close combat, creating a tricky situation. Either he would blow her up from afar, or she would get close enough to him that she could be able to take a shot at him. But in order to do that, she first had to find out where he was.

An explosion rocked the world around her. She quickly latched onto another branch before she got blown down to the ground floor. Fu didn't think that she could pull off the sight inhibiting trick again. She pulled herself up on the tree, and fled the scene.

So he could see her, but she couldn't see him.

That wasn't good for her.

She tried extending the little chakra sensory ability that she had as far as she could but came up flat. Fu heard a whizzing to her right, and immediately jumped to her left. Another explosion blossomed just to her right, and seared her entire side.

At this point, she was panting, tired, burned in several areas, and still having trouble breathing. While her enemy hadn't even been touched.

All of the bombs that he had been throwing at her from after she lost sight of him had all come close to her, but still either blasted prematurely, or far enough away from her that she was able to dodge the explosion. Signifying that although he could see her, his vision was hampered. Fu didn't know whether this stemmed from the aftereffects of her jutsu, which she doubted, or if the trees were giving her natural cover.

She leaned against a tree to catch her breath, and leaned her head back to get a look at the sky.

'Why is there a gull flying up there? I'm not even close to the ocean.'

Realization dawned on her. That wasn't a gull, it was just a really big bird made out of clay, which the mad bomber was probably riding on. It would explain why she couldn't find him, as well as why his bombs were less accurate.

This was the worst possible battle scenario for her, being bombed from the sky, without any means to reach, much less combat the enemy.

Wait. Maybe she could reach the mad bomber.

'Hey Chomei?'

When she talked to Chomei for the first time, she was astounded by its affability. Apparently the seal used for keeping Chomei in check was called the 'glass jar seal.' Its main purpose is to keep the seven tails in check, however, it has another side effect; it allows Chomei to see out of the seal and experience what its container feels. This allowed the seven tails to empathize with its container's feeling of loneliness, depression, and anger.

So when they first met, the seven tails only wanted to create a good relationship with Fu. And thusly, it told Fu of the ability to communicate telepathically, with no need to enter and exit the mindscape.

"**Yes, little larvae?"**

'We're in a bit of trouble. Your chakra cloak manifests wings right?'

"**Once you reach the two-tailed state, yes. But you've never experienced what my chakra feels like, you'd get taken over by the anger."**

'I thought that you didn't hate.'

"**Oh little larvae. I don't hate you; we're both in this bad situation together. But I do hate, we all hate. If you take my chakra, you take my will, which contains my hate."**

'Well we don't have any other options. I need to beat that man to survive, in order to beat that man, I need your chakra. So if I want to survive, I need your chakra.'

"…**Don't say that I didn't warn you."**

Despite the confident veneer that she put up with Chomei, she was extremely afraid of that chakra.

'Wait… do you have any… like, tips?'

"…**Just remember why you fight, who you fight for. Little larvae."**

An image of Naruto appeared before her eyes.

'I fight to protect the dreams of my friend.'

She heard Chomei's wings buzz in approval. **"So you say, little larvae."**

Fu felt a wrenching in her gut, and she suddenly didn't feel any of the aches of her battle. All of the pain from the burns faded away, she could breathe again, and she felt energetic. Fu felt good.

The chakra that was warming her being started bubbling out of her skin. She could see it manifesting on her form, turning slightly sharper. She tried to flex her back muscles, and discovered the feeling of finding a new set of appendages, ones that controlled the new-found wings on her back.

Fu felt anger. Rage against all the indignities that she had to suffer due to her status as a Jinchuuriki. Rage against the people who looked at her like her very presence was anathema to them. Rage against the world for creating her the way she was. But most importantly, rage against that fuckwit of a bomber, who tried to hurt her best friend, her only friend, her Naruto.

Deidara was having dickens of a time trying to make art beautiful enough to show the world. Mostly because his canvas was running around the trees, and he found it difficult to accurately paint from such a high viewpoint.

'I knew I should have brought my mini-scope, yeah.'

He continued to scan the treetops for any sign of the seven-tailed Jinchuuriki. From the reports that he got from the lower akatsuki agents, she didn't have any experience in controlling her Tailed beast. So he was fighting a close range fighter, with no means of flying, from the sky.

Needless to say, he felt rather invincible. That is, until he saw a red speck on the treetops begin to grow to larger and larger.

Deidara might have been bat-shit crazy, but he wasn't stupid enough to not know what a Jinchuuriki's tailed form looks like.

'Shit, she isn't supposed to know how to fly! Yeah'

Her flight speed was alarmingly fast, so Deidara tried to outmaneuver her. This didn't work, mostly because of the fact that his bird was about as dexterous as a paralyzed sloth when compared to Fu's tailed state.

She landed on the top of the bird, roared in Deidara's face, and shoved her arm up to the elbow in his torso.

He only smiled, and turned into a pasty representation of the mad-bomber.

She jumped off the bird, however the clone was stuck fast to her arm. She tried to swat it away, but only managed to cleave off the lower body of the clone, the rest of it exploded.

She was blasted across the sky, trying to regain her composure. It was rather difficult for her, as this was the first time that she had ever even flew.

She hit the treetops, which softened her descent, shook her head, and looked back up to the sky.

Deidara was now riding on top of a huge dragon-like being made completely out of clay. She roared at the beast, and jumped off from the treetop to start zipping straight towards it.

The dragon roared, and puked up a glob of the explosive clay. The glob was headed straight for her, which she just managed to avoid. But she didn't avoid the explosion that resulted in her being tossed across the sky yet again.

She was able to regain her balance in the air this time, and flew back at the dragon yet again. It threw up another glob of clay, but she gave it a far wider birth this time, able to dodge the explosion.

The dragon continued to vomit up more and more globs of clay, which she had to keep on giving wide births, so she made very little progress in shortening the distance between the two.

'I need to be faster' her mind came up with the solution to her plight.

"**Be careful little larvae! Remember why you fight!"**

The memory of her up on the hokage monument, beside Naruto, came up to her mind. The memories of the first time that she had fun with another person. The memories of her first friend. The memories of Naruto.

She continued to grab more and more of Chomei's chakra, until she had another set of wings on her back. Luckily enough, she was able to remain of sound enough mind to remember her goal.

Fucking up a clinically insane person's day.

With her newfound speed, she zipped around, through, above, below, and towards the mad bomber on the mad dragon.

When she got close enough, he tossed a clay structure at her. It turned into a giant spider, which wrapped around her torso, and blew up.

Through the smoke, emerged an enraged Fu. She tackled him off the dragon, and onto the forest floor below.

While plummeting to the earth at breakneck speeds, he somehow found the strength to smirk. His entire body started to expand to obscene levels. At the zenith of his expansion, he muttered **"Katsu"**

The explosion was far greater than any other he had shown before, and Fu was still hugging it when it went off.

Down on the forest floor there was a limping, and thoroughly defeated Deidara. 'Fuck, where was that spider fuck toy? He was supposed to help me capture the Jinchuuriki. Yeah' He was limping towards the nearest HQ, which was extremely far away. He didn't have any detonating clay left, so he didn't think that he would be able to safely acquire the Jinchuuriki.

'Fuck, leader-sama's gunna be pissed.'

Fu opened her eyes up, she felt breezy, queasy, and not very healthy. She slowly got from the prone position that she had taken when she had fallen from the sky. And started to limp in no particular direction.

She found the spider-freak, advanced to stage 2 curse seal, and dead. She was of such an unsound mind, that she didn't even register the sight of the dead bodyguard as strange.

'Why does my right side feel like it went through the blender?'

Fu looked at her right arm, all of the skin was completely burned off. The burn went all the way down to her right knee, extended across her chest, and even felt it on her face.

She caught sight of Neji, he was collapsed on the ground, with multiple holes in and around his torso.

The strength of her knees left her, and she fell on the ground.

Fu didn't feel anything from the impact, she felt numb, she felt tired, she felt like she didn't even really care anymore.

As her face was pressed into the grass, she smiled at the pleasant scent of grass.

'I think I'm just gonna take a nap.'

So that's what she did.

**AN/ I didn't feel like I needed to recap what happened with Neji's and Kidoumaru's fight, as it probably wouldn't have gone any different than canon.**

**That being said, the next chapter's probably going to be a large one, so don't expect a quick release.**

**As always, tell me what I did wrong, so I may change my writing for the better in the future.**


	13. the awakening

Chapter 13

"Ungh… wah? Where am I?" Naruto asked.

He was in a hospital bed. He noticed that he was almost completely covered in bandages. There was also a mop of green hair resting on his thigh.

"Fu?" he nudged his leg up and down a few times. But she was out cold.

He breathed out a sigh. 'What happened?'

Naruto furrowed his brow in preparation for hard thinking. 'There was that weird spider guy, and that weird explosion guy. But Fu and Neji took care of them. Then there was this weird chick who kept on playing a flute, and a weird dude who was all hunched over, but Tenten and Temari said they'd take of them. Then there was a weird two/one person thing, with a guy who was had red where the white parts of the eyes should have been, but Hana and Shikamaru took care of them. Then there was this weird bone guy, and a weird shark guy, but Yugito and Kiba took care of him.'

He began to get lost in his own thoughts. 'Okay, then Sasuke jumped out of a barrel, and I chased him to a waterfall with a couple of statues there. Then we fought. Oh! I asked the Kyuubi for chakra. Then we fought some more. Then… he turned into… something else. Then we fought some more, and he was unconscious, and I was about to drag him back to Konoha.'

Naruto started to rack his brain for answers for what happened next. 'That's right! Itachi was there after I smacked Sasuke-teme down. Then he looked at me.' Naruto tried to think of anything else, but came up flat.

Fu was still on his leg. He looked out the window, it had to be at least noon. Fu shouldn't be asleep.

"Hey Fu!" he said a little more forcefully. He also shook his leg a bit more.

She groaned and tried to sit up a little. "Urrng, I told you, I'm not leaving." She muttered out, without opening her eyes. She then fell back onto Naruto's leg and began to sleep again.

"Oi! Wake up. It isn't healthy to asleep at noon." Naruto shouldn't really talk, considering that's when he usually woke up on the weekends. But he was also curious, and needed answers.

She groaned again, and lifted her head up fully to look at Naruto straight in the eyes. Her eyes brightened considerably, and suddenly found the strength to immediately glomp onto Naruto. Fu began to shake and sob slightly on his shoulders.

Naruto was extremely worried now. When she looked at him, he noticed that a portion of her face was a tone lighter than the rest of her face, and it looked like it traveled all the way down her body. In fact he could see it on her back as well.

He didn't really know to do anything else other than to awkwardly stroke her back, and wait for her to stop sobbing.

She eventually quieted down, rested her head on his shoulders, and promptly fell asleep again.

Fu was sitting on a chair next to his hospital bed, with her upper body leaned against his body. It didn't look like a very comfortable position. Naruto sighed, and dragged her onto his bed using her torso as a grip. The bed was a twin, so it was a snug fit, and he was hooked up to a lot of different medical machines, which made positioning weird. But he made it work. Naruto knew that it would be counterintuitive to interrogate Fu when she was in such an emotional state, so he settled on waiting for her to wake up naturally.

His eyes began to droop, he was sleepy too apparently. Naruto settled up against Fu and decided that he needed a nap.

So that's what he did.

He woke up with a nurse trying to get Fu to leave.

"Hey, you can't sleep with him like that." The Nurse was shaking Fu, trying to make her wake up.

He opened his eyes, and murmured "It's okay."

The nurse gasped, and backed away. "I'm sorry, we should have been alerted that you were awake."

'What's wrong with everyone?' he thought to himself. "How long was I asleep?"

"You've been out for 13 days."

He was about to scream out a 'What!', but caught himself before he could. Fu was still asleep after all.

"What happened with the mission? Where's Sasuke?"

The nurse looked slightly downtrodden. "You should ask her when she wakes up. I don't have all the details."

Right on cue, Fu raised her head. "Wah?"

"I'll let you have some alone time." She left the room.

"Fu, what happened with the mission?" Naruto asked severely.

She sat up from his bed, and started to stretch her body. After a sigh, she began. "It was a failure. Your friend Sasuke was obtained by Orochimaru."

Naruto looked down in sadness. Somehow he had been expecting that.

"Well how is everyone?"

Fu looked away, evasively. "Not so good."

He looked at her with a hard stare. "What do you mean, 'not so good'?"

She sighed. "Most of our team got seriously hurt. Kurotsuchi was in intensive for a week after they retrieved her. That Hinata girl was almost dead when they found her, and she was lucky that the reinforcements had blood transfusions and a skilled medic, or else she would have died."

Naruto's eyes widened in horror.

"Neji almost died as well, he had a couple of holes in his chest. Some of my skin got blown off from an explosion. But it's okay! Tsunade was able to create some new skin for me." Fu said, trying to slightly sooth Naruto.

It didn't work.

"What about everyone else?"

"Hana, her ninken, and Shikamaru all had various elemental damage, and had a lot of blunt force trauma. Temari and Tenten got sliced up bad, and were poisoned. Kiba and Yugito were cut up _really_ bad, and both suffered from chakra exhaustion."

Naruto started to look mortified.

"But don't worry! Everyone recovered."

"…What else?"

"I don't think it's such-"

"_What else? _ I can take it."

She sighed. "The entire treaty almost fell apart. All the kage's teleported back here and argued over whether they should still try to make the treaty work. Apparently Temari burst in and gave quite the rousing speech, because everything's okay now."

"Why would she do that?"

"She wants peace between the nations?" Fu said with a shrug.

"Oh, I guess that make sense."

"All the kage's left, Tsunade gave her inauguration speech… and everyone was really worried for you."

"What happened to me?"

"You were comatose for 13 days and someone shoved a hand in your chest! Nobody knew if you were going to wake up." Fu started to tear up again, she looked at ground and sobs started to wreck her body. "You're my best friend… you're my only friend… please don't ever go away." She said in-between sobs.

He laid a palm on the top of her head. She looked up at him, and he gave her an eye-blinding smile. "Don't worry, I can't die. Not until I become hokage."

A moment passed. A grin appeared on her tear-stained face. "Thanks." She started to chuckle a little.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing's funny. I'm just really happy." Her chuckling was contagious, and it spread to Naruto. They both sat there for a while, laughing and crying like lunatics.

"Hehe… I should probably go. You know, tell everyone that you're okay."

"Okay." Naruto said, slightly downtrodden. "Oh wait. Is the marriage thing still… like, a thing?"

She gave him a smile. "Of course it is silly." She shut the door behind her.

He leaned back on the pillows. He was really shocked when Fu started crying for him. Most of the condolences that he gave her were out of instinct, things that he didn't think about saying, but still did. Naruto didn't know that he meant so much to Fu, and finding out that he did was slightly frightening. The marriage between him and his wives was meant to be a forced ordeal. Something that they didn't want and was only done with the thought of the citizens of the elemental nations in mind. They weren't supposed to care for each other, they weren't supposed to love each other, they were just supposed to bear with the pain, and put up with each other the best they could.

Yet even as he sat there in thought, he knew that Yugito, Fu, Kurotsuchi, and Temari meant a lot to him. Yugito felt like his older sister, scolding and comforting him when he needed it. Fu was like a close friend, there for him to teach him stuff, always smiling. Kurotsuchi was like a begrudging friend, always playing pranks, and getting into fights with him. Temari was kind of like the straight man (**AN/ it's a comedy thing, look it up**) always there to comment on the absurdity of the situation, and help reel them in.

'I guess that this is okay… Even if I can't find love, and even if they can't find love, this isn't the worst situation it could be.' Somehow, in the two days and three nights that he had interacted with them, they had become precious people to him.

'I'm going to do my best to protect them. Make sure that they never get hurt again.' He thought to himself with an air of finality about it.

Hidden Akatsuki base

It took a while for everyone to get back and meet up again. This stemmed from all of their sustained injuries.

"Well this whole operation was a colossal fuck-up." Hidan started the meeting out.

"Says the religious nut who was defeated by a _**GENIN **_so you don't have any room to talk. Yeah." Deidara capitalized, italicized, underlined, and bolded the word genin, just to show his sheer annoyance at Hidan.

"You were defeated by a genin too, so shut the fuck up, before I sacrifice you to Jashin-sama."

"I was given faulty information. She wasn't supposed to know how to fly, but guess what? She could fucking fly! I wasn't prepared. Yeah. What's your excuse?"

"I couldn't see her, the little fucker. But that brat was a main branch member of the Hyuuga clan. I even stabbed her, but she still came at me, and shut down my chakra. So I stabbed her again!" Hidan said with a manic smile, barely comprehensible.

Kakuzu sighed explosively. "I lost three hearts when the hachibi showed up with some puppet user. I was supposed to take down the ichibi, not the only Jinchuuriki that could stab through by iron defense with lightning blades. Obtaining three powerful hearts is going to take a lot of time. And time is money."

Kisame looked annoyed "I was supposed to take on the Niibi, but the ichibi showed up too, along with some taijutsu freak."

Sasori didn't show any outward emotion, but his tone spoke of annoyance. "I was sidled up with a wind jutsu user and a throwing weapon user. They cut through my puppets like fucking butter. All that artwork… lost! And just when I had them poisoned, some fatass iwa shinobi bailed them out"

"Didn't you kill them?"

"I never confirmed the kill."

"Who was supposed to take the Kyuubi?" Kisame asked.

"Hidan. But at the start, there were only three Jinchuuriki, the other two came later with the reinforcements. So I didn't stop him from engaging the two kunoichi that split off from the group." Kakuzu said.

"How did you manage to not get taken by Konoha shinobi?" Sasori asked Hidan.

"I guess they didn't bother trying to tie down the guy who was stabbed in the heart, so when I woke up, I just walked away." Hidan said, smirking.

"Hey, leader-sama. Orochimaru is going to pay? Yeah." Deidara said, brandishing his mouth-hands.

"… He got us five Jinchuuriki, was able to separate them all, and provided you with support to capture them. That was the deal."

"That deal fell apart. He provided us a whole team of Shinobi, and another whole team of reinforcements. Yeah."

"He kept his side of the deal. Don't go after him, you'll regret it." Pain logged off the hologram thingy.

"Fuckity." Hidan logged off.

Everyone took turns logging off. Until only Itachi was left.

'No one found out… Good.'

He logged off as well.

Naruto's hospital room.

There was a knock on his door.

"Come in." a moment passed.

Then another.

Then another.

Just when he was about to call out again, Hinata opened up the door, and stepped in.

"Hey Hinata. Are you okay? Fu told me that you got hurt bad."

She was quiet.

"…Is something wrong? Should I call a nurse?"

"Naruto…" she said quietly.

"Yes?"

"I-I… I just… I wanted to tell you…" she paused and took a deep breath.

When she had collected herself, she began again. "Ever since I was little, I've looked up to you. When I felt self-conscious about my strength, I would think of you, and I would feel a little better, and I would try my hardest to get stronger. It's because of you that I fight. I just wanted to let you know that.

"Oh, thanks Hinata." Naruto said with a big cheesy grin.

"Naruto… I-I… I love you Naruto."

This rendered Naruto speechless. He couldn't even grasp the concept of another person being romantically in love with him. "H-Hinata… I don't… I don't know what to say."

She had a small, sad smile on her face. "You don't have to say anything. I know that you're in an arranged marriage, and that you won't be allowed to love anybody outside of your wives. I just wanted to let you know how I feel."

Before he could talk again, she exited the room with great haste. He called out to her, but she was gone.

Naruto felt like he was in a glass case of emotion. He needed to do something. He needed to get out the stifling bed that he was sitting in. he had to talk to someone.

Naruto threw the covers off his person, and gingerly began getting out of his bed.

He hadn't moved for the better part of 2 weeks, so his muscles were sore and woefully underused. He pulled off all the medical instruments on his person, got out of bed, and walked out of the room, wincing all the way.

He walked until he saw a secretary at a desk. "Can I ask you where someone is?" he asked. Naruto needed to talk to someone, or ask for advice, or anything really. He needed to do anything other than think.

"Sure, who're you looking for?"

Who was he looking for? Fu said that everyone eventually got better. But she also said that Kurotsuchi was in intensive for a week, there's no way that Kurotsuchi could be walking around after that.

"Kurotsuchi, no last name."

"She's in the recovery ward, that way." She directed him to the recovery ward.

Naruto walked as fast as he could without causing him discomfort. Just when he was about to enter the door, it was opened from the inside by a big, burly man, with a pronounced lower jaw. He was really imposing.

"Who're you?"

"N-Naruto Uzumaki."

His eyes opened wide in surprise, then narrowed. "So you're my step-son."

Whatever Naruto was expecting, it wasn't that. "O-Oh, uhm, hi. It's an honor to meet you?" the sentence that he uttered out turned into a question at the end. Mostly because he didn't know how to react in that situation.

Kitsuchi did not look amused. "Look, I know that Kuro followed you on her own volition… But" his hands balled into fists, and turned into rocks. "If you ever hurt her, treaty or not, I will end you." Saying what he wanted to say, Kitsuchi walked away from him.

With trepidation, Naruto entered the room.

"Hey shithead, you're awake. Sorry about my pops. He can be a bit overwhelming." Kurotsuchi didn't look good. She had an unhealthy pallor on her face, there was a general air of weakness that surrounded her entire being, and she seemed slightly meeker than usual.

"Hey Pinkutsuchi." He said with a cheeky grin. He might have been having some personal problems, but he knew that she needed some cheering up.

"Hey yourself, baldy." Naruto furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

"You know… because I covered you in shaving cream, and you threw a hissy fit."

"Ohhh. That's right, I remember... A lot has been going on, hasn't it?" he smiled sheepishly.

"I suppose." She said weakly, closing her eyes.

"Oh I'm sorry, you probably want some rest time-"

"Nah, nah it's fine. My eyes are a bit sore that's all. In truth, it's getting really boring around here."

"Don't you have any visitors?"

"Well my dad got permission to teleport here, but other than him, Akatsuchi, and the rest of my _sister wives_ I've not gotten a lot of other visitors."

"Not even from the retrieval team?"

"Well that Shikamaru guy came over once, but he mostly dropped by to make sure I wasn't dead." She gave a light, humorless laugh.

A slightly comfortable silence descended upon them.

"Hey Kurotsuchi?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you for advice?"

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Thanks. Uuhh… so… Okay! Hypothetical situation time. You really like this… guy, like this guy means all the world to you. Okay, and this guy never really returned your affections, but you still really like him. And you recently find out that you can never date him, ever, because of… personal reasons."

She looked at him. "And…?"

"Well, what do you do?"

"… I've never been in love, so I can't say what I would or wouldn't do. I can tell you to forget about her, but you probably wouldn't take too kindly to that would you? I can tell you to try and find someone else to love, but unless you truly love any of us, that wouldn't do any good. I can tell you to give up on love, but that's too morbid, and I don't like that."

Naruto sighed "Yeah, don't worry... I think I've given up on her"

"Oh?"

"Yeah… all I've ever wanted was for her to be happy, to see that smile on her face. But I won't be able to make that happen. Not while I'm married to four other people."

"So… you've thought about this a lot, haven't you?"

"Mhmm. Okay, next hypothetical question. There's this guy that you don't really know. He's kinda nice, but really shy, and you don't know a lot about him. And out of the blue, he suddenly confesses to you. But you won't be able to date him because you're married, and he confessed to you, even though he knew that you're married."

She gave him a strange look. "You've been having a tough day haven't you?"

He nodded.

"Okay… if she confessed to you, even though she knew that you're married, and won't be able to love her back. Then that sounds like she just needed to get it off her chest."

"Huh?"

"Look, she wouldn't have confessed to you if you were just a passing fancy. The fact that she confessed, sounds like she just needed catharsis."

"Catharsis?"

"It means 'release.' She confessed to you, because if she didn't, she would have never been able to get over you."

"Oh… thanks Kurotsuchi. You're kinda smart."

"Nah, I just remember hearing about a similar situation, and my pops explained it to me."

Another comfortable silence fell upon them.

"What happens if we meet up again?"

"Hm?"

"Like, what am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know what you should do, shithead."

"Wow thanks. I feel so much better." Naruto said flatly.

"Well I've never been in this situation before. I can only give advice when I have advice to give."

Naruto sighed "Fair enough."

The door was flung open with a bang. In the doorway stood Yugito, who sighed in relief. She looked to her side and shouted "He's in here!"

Yugito collected herself and walked in calmly, then Fu came flying in, and Temari walked in sedately afterwards.

"We were worried when you weren't in your bed." Yugito stated.

"Oh yeah, I probably should have left a note or something." Naruto laughed sheepishly

Yugito didn't look amused. "Don't ever do something stupid like that again."

"What?"

"Don't ever make me worried that I wasn't able to protect the people precious to me."

He noticed that Yugito had received a few more scars on her person, most notably a scar that went from the top of her temple and curved all the way to her chin. Temari also got a few more nicks on her, but they were red, and splotchy. Probably a side effect from the poison

This made Naruto contemplative. "Look guys… I'm really sorry."

Temari raised an eyebrow. "Sorry for what?"

Naruto looked at Kurotsuchi in her hospital bed, at Fu's mismatched face, at Yugito's scaring, and at Temari's signs of poisoning. "You all got really badly hurt because of me, because of the mission that I went on and you went on with me in order to protect me… I've got to get stronger, so _I_ can protect you all."

Yugito laughed humorlessly. "You need to protect us? Says the guy who got a hand shoved in his chest, and went comatose for 2 weeks. If anything, we need to protect you."

"Do you really have such little faith in our abilities as shinobi?" Temari asked.

"Yeah, I mean… I was seriously worried when I heard that you might not wake up. And so was Yugito, and so was Kurotsuchi, even if she didn't show it, and so was Temari. We need to get stronger to protect you." Fu said.

"It wouldn't do the treaty any good if you up and died on a mission." Kurotsuchi stated.

Naruto looked at all of their faces. They were the faces of people who were convicted to a cause. A cause to protect him. "Okay, we'll all get stronger. Together. We'll beat down anybody who wants to hurt us. We'll defeat the Akatsuki. We'll protect the elemental nations." He stood up and put his fist out. They all met him at the center. Signifying their resolve to help protect not only each other, but also the peace of the elemental nations.

"Oi!"

Except for Kurotsuchi, because she was stuck on a hospital bed, and could barely move. They all awkwardly shuffled to the bed, so Kurotsuchi would be included as well.

After maintaining that position for several moments, they all broke apart.

"So that's all well and good, but how do we go about getting stronger?" Kurotsuchi asked

"After I gave my speech to the kage, they said that they were planning on sending Naruto around the villages in a random pattern so he could train with the different shinobi there, and help with trying to change their perceptions. But that was the plan for before he went comatose. I don't know how if it changed since then."

"What about us?" Kurotsuchi asked

"We would stay at our villages, and train with Naruto when he came around."

"Aww. I want to see what the rest of the world is like." Fu whined.

"Isn't is slightly counterintuitive for only Naruto to go around the nations? What about Konoha changing its perceptions?" Yugito asked.

"I don't know." Temari stated.

"Well I'm awake now, why don't we just ask her?"

"I don't see why not." Yugito stated.

They all began to walk to the door, but Kurotsuchi interrupted them. "Hey, can you take me with you?"

"Is that okay?"

"I feel good enough. Someone might need to push me in a chair, but I really need to get out of this room. Please?"

"If you're sure that you're okay…" Naruto opened up the room's medical drawer, and pulled out a collapsible wheelchair.

"You sure know your way around the hospital." Temari commented.

"I got sent here all the time when I little. Training accidents, you know. There's emergency everything here." He unfolded the chair. "Do you need help?" he asked Kurotsuchi.

"I'm fine." She raised herself from the bed, and slowly made the movements to get onto the chair, but slipped. Luckily Naruto was there to catch her, and gingerly lowered her down to the chair.

"Well that could have been really bad." Naruto said.

"Whatever. Onward, my gimpy steed." Kurotsuchi said, with her hand pointed towards the door and her index finger extended.

"On your word Pinkutsuchi-hime."

"Don't call me that."

"Don't be like that. Princess Pink Rock has a nice ring to it." Naruto started to push her out the door.

"I swear to fuck, if you ever call me that again, I will encase you in cement."

"Hehe. If I die, who'll you need to get stronger for?"

"Who says it'll kill you?"

Naruto got really scared.

They walked down the hospital, checked themselves out and made to the academy administration.

"Hey Temari?"

"Hm?"

"How were you able to convince the kage to continue with the treaty?"

"I basically just said that you're too stubborn a guy to ever let going into a coma stop you from your goals."

"Is that what happened?" Kurotsuchi asked. Her face went to her trademarked mischievous mode. "I didn't know you thought so highly of him. You don't have a thing for him, do you? Stoic-chan."

Temari and Naruto lightly blushed under her ministrations. "Of course I don't. He's just a means to obtain peace." She said defiantly.

"Oh of course Stoic-chan. Just a means to an end. Whatever you say…"

"What do you mean by that? And stop calling me a fucking stoic!"

"Oh nothing really. I just noticed that you never really talk to him when you're together, and you think highly enough of him that you think he can stop all the war in all the elemental nations, and that he did save your brother from insanity."

"Wha-? H-How do you know what he did to Gaara?"

"So you don't deny the other two points?

"How does me not talking to him signify affection?"

"Who knows? Stoic-chan might be a dandere."

"I'm not, and the only reason that he's able to stop all war in the elemental nations is because his dad messed up big time."

"Ouch. You might hurt your boyfriend's feelings with those sharp words of yours."

Temari looked like she was about to explode, but her angry face quickly turned mischievous. "Oh? And what about you? Playing pranks on him, yelling at him, complaining about him. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that you're acting out just to get his attention."

Kurotsuchi didn't look fazed in the slightest. "Yup, that's right. I love Naruto Uzumaki Namikaze." This was said with implied sarcasm. Kurotsuchi was saying this loudly enough that the people who were walking next to them, had no choice but to acknowledge her ravings. "He's the light to my darkness. He's the reason I get up every morning. He's who I fantasize about every night. If I can't have his love, I'll kill myself." Kurotsuchi was giggling now, and was barely able to articulate her words of incredibly sarcastic affection. "I wanna have Naruto Uzumaki's children, and brag about those blessed children to all my Stone countrymen." Naruto was extremely uncomfortable at this point. "Only the thoughts of his whiskered face, of his blond hair, of his strong physique get me through the day. It is only because of hi-OLY SHIT."

Looking at the entourage of Naruto and his wives was the father of Kurotsuchi, Kitsuchi. His face spoke of severe disappointment, and after beholding his daughter, and her ravings of love, he slowly walked away.

"NONONO. SHITFACE! WALK ME OVER TO MY DAD!" She shouted, somehow managing to find the power to do so, even in her extremely weak state.

He began to run in his direction, but Kitsuchi flashed away in a body flicker, before Kurotsuchi was able to tell him that her exclamations of love were only a joke.

She screamed out in frustration, which cracked mid-way through. Lowering her head in embarrassment, shame, and all around disappointment, she decided to stop talking for the day.

"See what happens when you joke around all the time?" Temari said to her in a chiding tone.

"Wanna see what happens when I clog your urethra full of cement?" Kurotsuchi said quietly, in a rasp, without bothering to raise her head.

"Oh? What was that? I couldn't hear anything over the thoughts of you having to confront your dad after he heard your screams of wanting to get pregnant."

"Shut the fuck up. It was supposed funny."

Indeed it was, and everyone other than Kurotsuchi was having trouble keeping in their amusement. Fu couldn't bear it anymore and started laughing uproariously. This set off a chain reaction among the group, where even the usually cold Yugito was laughing silently at Kurotsuchi's expense

"This is what happens when you imply sarcasm instead of using it." Implying sarcasm is saying things that would be so strange, and outlandish, that people brush it off as untrue, or as humor. Using Sarcasm is the changing on one's tone of voice, to insinuate that what they are saying is untrue. Kurotsuchi implied Sarcasm, but her father apparently didn't understand it as humor. Naruto had a deep understanding of both terms. You can't spell smartass without smart, after all.

"Don't worry my precious Pinkutsuchi-hime-sama, I could never bear the thought of you being embarrassed. To make my dearest love happy again, I'll do anything I can do to clear up any misunderstanding with her father." Naruto said, using sarcasm, instead of implying it.

Wouldn't want any misunderstandings would we?

She grunted.

They spent the rest of their walk to administration in relative silence, with the group bursting out in laughter at random points.

"It's kinda weird how everyone's staring at us." Fu whispered.

It was true, everyone was staring at them walk. Naruto didn't notice it before, due to him being distracted with pushing Kurotsuchi, along with her and Temari's interactions and antics. But the way that they were staring was different than usual. There was a motley of feelings being portrayed on the faces of the people of Konohagakure. There was confusion, disappointment, and even genuine remorse.

"Has this been happening since I went comatose?"

"No, but I have been getting some weird stares after the inauguration. I guess it must be because I'm married to the guy who's the son of the most famous person in Konoha. But I wasn't present for the speech, so I don't know how people recognize me." Fu said.

"You're wearing a waterfall headband on your arm. People can connect dots you know." Temari said.

"Yeah, but still… I'm used to getting stares, but these are different."

They all nodded in agreement. They were all people who garnered attention and were generally known by the common people. Being direct relatives of Kage, Jinchuuriki, or holders of a kekai genkai would do that to people. And after noticing the stares, it was hard to ignore them.

Luckily they were close to administration by then, and they weren't bothered much by the stares along the short walk into the building. Kurotsuchi was presented with another problem. Namely being more stairs.

Get it? It's a pun. They were being bothered by the stares of the people, and now they're getting bothered by physical, walking stairs.

Your extremely humble author continued to laugh to himself at his own joke.

Getting back to the story. Naruto wasn't strong enough to pick Kurotsuchi up and walk up stairs with her. Ninja were toted as being extremely physically strong, however ninja usually prefer to work on speed when considering physical care. Being strong, and being able to lift things up is all well and good, but one is capable of inflicting almost as much damage by transferring the momentum of their speed upon their target, and they get to remain agile and dexterous without the bulky body that becoming strong would entail. That wasn't to say that Naruto wasn't strong. He just wasn't strong enough to safely pick up a girl, who much more mass than him, in a wheelchair, and lift her upstairs.

"Oi. Shithead. Kuro wants up." She said, while lifting her arms in a childlike manner.

Yugito sighed and picked her up by her armpits, and placed her on her back in the piggyback position. "You want your bottle too?"

"Mhmm. Give it. I wan' it." Kurotsuchi said, continuing the joke.

The rest of the group was holding back more laughter. "Aren't babies a bit young to be having babies?" Temari asked. This immediately drew Kurotsuchi's ire.

"Shut up Stoic-chan."

They all walked up to the administration room in different states of amusements. It ranged from no amusement at all, to extreme amusement in all forms.

Upon opening the door, they were greeted with Tsunade loudly and pronouncedly stamping a document. It appeared that she did so with great enthusiasm. Sitting across from her was a man with blue hair, an eye patch, and seals on his earrings that read 'seal'; a younger boy with light blue hair, filed teeth, glasses, and a huge bandaged sword on his back; and a mature looking woman wearing a slightly revealing blue dress, red lipstick, and had her hair up in a herringbone pattern that reached her thighs.

"Naruto! You're awake! I knew that getting knocked comatose wouldn't keep you down for long."

"So this is him?" the woman across from Tsunade said with a smile.

"Yup. It's funny timing with Naruto and his wives all here. Naruto Uzumaki, meet your newest wife. Mei Terumi, the leader of the rebel faction of the hidden mist."

Silence reigned upon the entire room.

So much silence.

An absolutely inappropriate amount of silence.

"You've gotta be fucking me."


	14. the beginning of the travels

Chapter 14

"Nope" Tsunade said with a smile. "With this marriage, all the five elemental nations are together in a pact to no longer wage war."

"Hi honey bear" Mei said flirtatiously

Naruto sighed. "Whatever. I am so done with this."

Temari's eyebrow rose. "I thought you'd throw a larger hissy-fit than that."

"Being married to 5 people isn't much different than being married to 4 people."

"Oh? How impersonal, my adorable little husband." Mei said with an eye twinkle. Chojuro and Ao sat quietly, just soaking in the situation.

"She's kinda scary." Fu whispered.

"Yeah, why's she talking to me like that? Isn't she a bit too old to be perving on a teenager?" Naruto asked

A tic marc formed on Mei's eyebrow. "My little husband… you know, you shouldn't comment on a woman's age."

"You shouldn't be married to me. I'm 13, I shouldn't be married to anybody."

"Well you seem to have failed stupendously on that front." She replied cheekily.

Naruto sweat dropped. "Whatever. I'm done. Hey granny?"

"Yeah brat? AND STOP CALLING ME GRANNY!" she yelled at him hotly

"How are the living arrangements going to work?" he asked, dismissing the accusing yell.

Cooling down, she replied "You are going to go around the elemental nations to visit your respective wives' country to train. Every five rotations, one of your wives' are going to come back to Konoha with you to train there."

"How often is a rotation?" Yugito asked.

"About a week or so."

"Isn't Mist in a civil war right now? Wouldn't it be kinda dangerous to go there?" Temari asked

"He'll stay at their main hidden camp. Mei has assured me that it's safe."

"When is this happening?"

"It was supposed to be implemented when Naruto woke up. Not knowing when or if he was going to wake up was going to be a bit of a problem, but it seems to have solved itself."

"Sooo… I'm leaving? Now?" Naruto asked.

"Your wives will be, but you need a bit of time to set your affairs here in Konoha." She looked at Naruto's wives. "You all get your stuff and get back here to teleport back to your countries." She pushed a little bit of chakra into a seal on her desk, alerting the hirashin team. "Naruto, you need to give me the report of your mission, sign off your ownership on your previous apartment, get your stuff, and get back here. You'll be going to Lighting with Yugito first."

"Can't I say goodbye to all my friends?"

"The vast majority are all on missions. I believe that the only person here among your friends in Hinata Hyuuga."

"Eh? Oh, then that's okay... I'll be fine."

"…You sure?"

"Yeah. I'm really sure."

"Okay. You four, dismissed." She said, referring to the four wives of Naruto

They all filed out the door with nary a complaint.

"Naruto. I need your report on the mission."

"Well, it's kinda hard to remember, but after I left Yugito and Kiba to that fish guy and the bone guy, I chased Sasuke-teme to a giant waterfall with two statues on either end. We fought for a bit, but then he used that weird curse seal, so I had to ask the Kyuubi for chakra so I could beat him."

"You asked?"

"Yeah, I'm asking him-it for now on."

"Okay, continue."

"We fought some more, but he turned into this weird monster thing. So I asked for more power from the Kyuubi. We fought some more, and our last blow knocked him out, and stabbed me in the chest. I was about to drag him home-"

"With a stabbed chest?" Mei asked.

"Yeah. Nothing's gunna keep this shinobi down." Naruto said, with a glinting smile and a thumb pointed in his direction.

"My my. My husband gets more attractive by the moment." Mei said lustfully.

Naruto sweat dropped and shuffled away from Mei. "After that, Sasuke's older brother came over, looked at me, and that's the last thing I remember."

"Itachi was there as well?" Tsunade began rubbing her temples. "Why does this shit keep happening to me?"

"_You're _complaining?"

"Yeah I'm complaining brat. I've had to broker a peace treaty between four leaders of hidden villages, convince them to place a hirashin seal tag on their hidden village, deal with the fallout of that shitty mission, tape the treaty back together using goodwill, spit and ducktape, and on top of all of that, I have to hear about you complaining about being married to four chicks! Five now!"

"Oh yeah? Well I've just learned that the person who sealed the giant Kyuubi in my gut was my dad, who was the fourth hokage, that I'll never get to fall in love, that I'll always be married to not only a person, but _people_ who will never get to feel love as well, and that I'm the main cause that they all got seriously hurt!"

"Should we give you some time alone?" Ao asked.

"No, you stay. We still have some things to work out. You, go over to your apartment and sign in off, everything has already been boxed while you were comatose. Pack up everything that you might need, and meet back here, on the double."

"I'm still injured."

"No you're not, you're just tired, and you need to move around some more."

Naruto exited the building, grumbling all the way.

"My my. What a tempered husband I have."

"Well at least your husband hunting days are over." Ao said with a smile. Usually he would be threatened with death for even remotely mentioning her love life, but it seemed that her troubles were over, so that would make it okay to comment on it.

Mei's form got cloaked in a black, viscous aura. Her eyes shone red, and, while smiling, she whispered "Ao, shut up. Or I'll kill you."

He promptly cringed and scooted away from her. "Why did you get mad?!" he squealed. "They are!"

"Ao, you shouldn't comment on a woman who is sensitive about her love life. How she feels about marriage is her deal, and hers alone." Chojuro added tentatively.

Her face turned suddenly to Chojuro, without changing the harshness of its nature. "Chojuro, shut up. Or I'll kill you."

He too cringed away from Mei.

Tsunade began rubbing her temples. 'Why are all the strongest shinobi the weirdest?'

In the distance, Tsunade faintly heard a scream of 'Youth.'

At Naruto's apartment.

Naruto looked around. He was standing in the home that he had lived in all his life. The place that held him, gave him somewhere to sleep, and protected him from the outside. And this was the last time he was going to see it.

He sedately moved to the bed, and sat down on it.

All his time being awake recently, had been taken up with learning about new things that majorly affected his life, spending time with his wives, or being sent on a mission. He hadn't had anytime to actually sit down and think. Not that he usually does that sort of thing, but still, he needed some peace and quiet.

And that's what he got, until Jiraya opened the window and jumped inside. "Hiya brat!"

Naruto turned to look at him, not being phased in the slightest. "Hey Pervy-sage." He said flatly.

"Eh, what's wrong with my bundling barrel of joy?"

"Why are you so happy?"

"Because I'm so proud that my little boy bagged a cougar." He wiped a fake tear from one of his eyes.

"Perv, I am so not in the mood right now."

His face turned serious. "What's wrong brat?"

"I just…" Naruto was having trouble articulating his words "I just feel like the world's been going really fast. Serious, major things have just been happening, with no time to adjust, with no time to wonder if that change is for the better. I just wish that things would slow down."

Jiraya sat down on the bed with Naruto. "Yeah brat, I hear ya. But hey, at least everyone else in the village can empathize with you a little now."

"What?"

"No more war, trade agreements a plenty, the odium of their hate turns out to be the only thing holding it together, and on top of that, he's the son of the most revered hokage ever. Things are changing rapidly, and everyone has to cope with it."

"Are all the people married to four- no, five strangers? Are they all unable to find love?" Naruto said vindictively

"What are you going on about not being able to find love? I'm sure that you'll find it brat."

"But I can't be with anyone outside my wives."

"So don't. That Fu girl looks like she likes you, and so does that Yugito, and that Kurotsuchi."

"But I don't love them, and I am extremely sure that they don't love me."

"But you might, and they might. Kid, love isn't a singular thing, you won't feel love for only one person in your lifetime. Things change, and you have to cope. If you won't be able to find love outside your wives, try to find it inside your wives."

Naruto sat in thought for a while. "Love is weird."

Jiraya started guffawing, scaring Naruto at the suddenness of it. "You got that right kid. Love is a weird, cruel, fucked up mistress. But, being human, you have to find some way to please her."

"But what about them? If I can't date outside the marriage, I doubt they can as well. If I fall in love with one of them, the rest will be alone for the rest of their lives."

"Who said that you have to love just one?"

"Huh?"

"Listen kid, it's been said once, twice, and multiple times over, but you are in a unique situation. Do you think that they haven't thought about that? I can guarantee you that they all have."

"But isn't it wrong to be with multiple people?"

"Says the kid with five wives."

"You know what I mean, you pervert."

Jiraya sat in silence for a while before continuing. "If they acknowledge it, and they all are okay with it. I don't see why you can't _be_ with all of them."

Naruto sat in silence as well. "What about Yugito and Mei? They're a lot older than I am."

"Well once you begin to bridge that gap, I doubt they'll have much of a problem being with you as well."

Naruto sweatdropped. "People don't age at different frequencies, pervert."

"The difference between a 13 year old and a 28 year old, is a lot larger than the difference between a 17 year old and a 32 year old."

"But still…"

"But it's a unique situation, and everyone's going to have to learn to deal with it in their own way."

They sat there for a moment longer. "Thanks pervert. I actually kind of feel better now. Even if I doubt that they'd all agree to date me all at the same time."

"There's nothing that perversions can't fix." Jiraya said with a glint of the teeth.

Naruto looked at Jiraya flatly. "There are so many reasons why that is false." Naruto got up, and went over to the clipboard that was meant to sign his apartment down on one of the boxes close to him, and started signing its release.

"I'm really going to miss this place." Naruto looked up suddenly, in realization. "Where am I going to put all my stuff? I'll be going around to new houses every week. I can't take this stuff."

Jiraya got up as well. "I'll just seal it all for you."

"You can do that?"

"Kid, you'd be surprised at what sealing could do."

"I'll have to learn some on my training circuit."

Jiraya began to wordlessly seal away the boxes into various sealing scrolls. "Hey kid?"

"Yeah, perv-sage."

"I think that you should give up on Sasuke."

That statement hit him like a train. "Why?"

"Because so long as you chase him, you will never feel happy."

"Look, pervy-sage, he's one of the very few people in this world who knows how I feel. We're on the same team, and I am going to get him back.'

"He'll never go willingly with you."

"Then I'll just break his legs, and drag him back." Naruto said immediately

"… So long as you try to bring someone consumed with vengeance back to where you think that person's home is, you will never be happy and neither will he. People with vengeance don't perceive anything as being their home, as anyone worth coming home to."

"And how would you know?"

"Sasuke acted almost synonymously with how Orochimaru acted when he deserted. Kid, you are surrounded by people who have felt what you have felt. Why don't you just plug up that hole that Sasuke left with them?"

"Like how you use sake and women?" he said vindictively

"Exactly like how I use sake and women! These things distract me from the feeling of emptiness that being a shinobi for as long as I have gets you. But you have actual people. Actual people who you can love and be loved by. Actual people who can distract you from that pain."

"I'm not going to feel that pain. Because I refuse to give up. Because that's my ninja way."

"This world is surrounded with pain. Even with all the major ninja villages coming together and deciding not to kill each other anymore, there will be pain, there will always be pain."

"Then I'll do my best to eradicate that pain."

Jiraya looked at Naruto with widened eyes, but quickly looked back down. "I still think you should give up on Sasuke. But you won't back down and neither will I. So promise me one thing kid."

"What?"

"Get stronger, so you'll never feel the pain that Sasuke will shove on you."

Naruto nodded his head. "I'll get stronger and I'll get Sasuke back."

Jiraya got back up, and handed the bunch of scrolls on to Naruto. "You better get back to Tsunade. I've heard that cloud is lovely around this season."

"How do you know I'm going to cloud?"

"I'm not known as a renowned shinobi spymaster for nothing, you know."

"Whatever you say, pervert."

House that Naruto and co. occupied

Yugito was having a tough time. This was mostly due to the fact that she had been relegated as Kurotsuchi's aide, and was forced to carry her up the stairs, cook for her, seal all her stuff, and talk to her as company. It was the last one that really grated on her nerves, however.

"I cannot wait for when he switches over to Iwa."

'I don't care.' Yugito was currently folding Kurotsuchi's clothes, and preparing them to be sealed into a scroll, while Kurotsuchi was venting from her reclined position on her twin bed.

"I am so going to get him back for making my pops think that I want his kids."

'It was your own damn fault'

"I'm going to cement him in the middle of Iwa, and leave him there for the day."

'That's really harsh.'

"Or I'm going to sneak into his shower."

'How bold.'

"And spray him with quicklime"

'How cruel.'

"Or I'll slice him up just a little during our training"

'You are slightly deranged.'

"Or I might just get to 'accidentally' castrate him."

'You are extremely deranged.'

Yugito decided to but in. "Don't you think that you're being a little harsh?"

"That kid has been nothing but trouble to me ever since I met him."

"What's he done?"

"He dyed all my clothes pink."

"You declothed him in front of his friends."

"He's the reason I almost died."

"You volunteered for that mission along with the rest of us."

"My dad think's I want his kids."

"That's your own damn fault!"

Kurotsuchi sighed in exasperation. "There's just something about his face that I don't like."

"Well maybe if you gave him a chance…"

"Who are you, his mother?"

"I'm just a non-involved person who's looking at a tsundere doing the equivalent of writing love sonnets."

"I'm not a tsundere!"

"Yes you are. You have trouble externalizing you affections to our little, blond haired husband, and mistakingly convert that into physical, and verbal abuse."

Kurotsuchi looked personally offended "I have no affection for him whatsoever."

"So you say Pinkutsuchi." Even Yugito was getting in on the fun of calling Kurotsuchi by her nickname.

"So _I_ say. And stop calling me that."

"Will you admit to being a tsundere?"

"But I'm not a tsundere."

"Says the Pinkutsuchi in denial."

"AAAARRRRG. I swear, he's turning you into him through osmosis."

Yugito blushed slightly. "W-What do you mean by that?"

"Oh please, I know that you snuck into the hospital to cuddle with him in his comatose state."

"I've been having trouble sleeping" Yugito defended indignantly

"So you cuddle a person who's comatose?"

"Yes." Yugito replied, without missing a beat.

"That's not a good thing."

"But… he's really cuddly." Yugito replied monotonously

"How cuddly is he that you sneak out of the house, break into a fucking hospital, and cuddle up to him while he's in a coma?"

"Have you ever slept with him?"

Kurotsuchi blushed at the not so hidden meaning in that question. "Not all of us are so willing to sleep with the first guy we're arranged into a marriage with."

"Well he's really cuddly." Yugito's monotonous replies were getting slightly creepy.

Kurotsuchi sweatdropped. "So I've picked up."

Yugito finished folding Kurotsuchi's clothes, and sealed them into the scroll. She then proceeded to pick Kurotsuchi up from her spot on the bed, and put her in piggyback position.

While Kurotsuchi continued to vent, she went downstairs to meet up with Temari and Fu. They all left for administration together.

"What took you guys so long?" Temari asked.

"We were having a discussion." Kurotsuchi stated.

"More like you were venting your relationship problems to me."

"We're in the same relationship. I'm venting _our_ problems."

"People perceive different things to be different problems."

Kurotsuchi deadpanned. "What's your relationship with him anyway?"

"He's… my… husband?" Yugito said, unsure of what the question was asking.

"No, I mean… how do you perceive him?"

"As… my… husband?"

"You think of him as your husband?"

"…Yes?"

"Okay, I'm not explaining this properly. I don't think of his as my husband because we don't do and haven't done anything that a married couple should have gone through. To me, he's just the guy that I'm shackled up with for life. What is your… emotional connection with him?"

"He's a precious person-"

"-Who you're going to protect. Yeah I've heard this all before. My dad is a person precious to me, and I'm going to protect him. Precious people can be anyone to you. What is _he_ to you?"

"Why are you asking this so suddenly?"

"I was joking around when I started calling you a shotacon, but now I am genuinely worried that you're going to jump his prick."

Yugito started to blush. "I'm not going to force myself on him, he's 13… and, I guess that he's kind of like a little brother to me." She decided.

Fu decided that this was the most opportune time to interrupt. "I know what he is to me. He's my friend."

"I don't know him well, but he did save my brother from insanity. So I'm not going to immediately write him off." Temari said.

"Huh" Kurotsuchi didn't say another word until they hit administration.

The all met up with Tsunade, Mei, and her escorts at the administration room, where they were forced to wait some more for the hirashin team

"You know Mei, maybe you shouldn't tease the kid." Ao said.

"Why? He's just so adorable when he gets flustered."

"That wasn't him being flustered. That was him being worried by his surroundings."

Mei sighed. "Okay, I'll stop teasing him. Honestly, there's not a thing that's fun that I get to do anymore."

"You are the leader of the rebellion. The people are supposed to look up to you. Which means that you can't sexually tease children."

"But he's my husband."

"But he's a child."

Mei sighed again, but remained quiet.

"So why did you decide to offer yourself for this marriage thing?" Temari asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't you have any underlings that would have made for better candidates?"

"Well you were all chosen either because you are related to the kage, or you're a really influential individual in your village. The rebellion doesn't have that. Or at least any women that would fit the role. So I offered myself."

"How old are you really?" Kurotsuchi asked "Like, shouldn't you be more worried that you're shackled to a child for the rest of your life."

"I'm 28."

"Really? You look more… mature than 28."

"Should you really be mocking the kage level shinobi about her age?" Mei said with her sweetest smiles

"No no. you just look mature. Like you've lived longer."

"This isn't making me feel any less want to melt you."

"No, it's just that you're really hot in a more mature way."

Mei's overtly sweet smile became slightly less overt. "Thanks. I think. And to answer your other question, I'm sure that he's going to grow up to be an absolutely ravishing specimen."

Tsunade sweatdropped. "If I hear any reports of unwanted sexual advances, this deal is off."

Mei waved Tsunade off. "I know, I know. Age of consent."

Tsunade's sweatdrop enlarged, and was about to admonish Mei, but was interrupted by the hirashin team all suddenly coming into being.

"What happened? Why did it take so long for you to arrive?" Tsunade asked

"I was taking a nap." Genma replied.

Tsunade got a tic mark on her forehead. "I gave you one job! One! Stay on standby for the hirashin if I need to transport dignitaries across nations. And you fucked that up!"

Genma didn't look very affected by the kage level shinobi yelling at him. "I'm sorry. The technique takes a lot out of you."

She stood up "You haven't been used for weeks."

"I've been mentally disposed as of late."

"With what?"

"I'm not at liberty to say."

Tsunade looked to be on the verge of breaking her desk… again. But she managed to reign in her anger. Sitting down, she said "if it happens again, you're demoted to chunin."

"Fair enough."

Naruto busted through the doorway carrying a bundle of sealing scrolls. "Heya granny." He took stock of the situation. "I thought you said that everyone'd be gone by now."

"They were supposed to be, but this asshat" She pointed to Genma. "Was _mentally disposed_."

"Okay. I have no idea what that means."

"None of us do. Get in the formation and send Yugito and Naruto to cloud." Tsunade barked towards the bodyguard unit.

They all scrambled to do so. After getting into the triangular formation, Genma said to Naruto and Yugito "Get in."

Naruto and Yugito walked in between the group with trepidation. "Clench your stomach." Genma warned, then they immediately activated the jutsu.

It was really disorienting. It's not that there was some sensation of the universe pulling you or something like that. He was looking at one thing, and then everything changed into something else in the blink of an eye.

But Naruto didn't blink. So when he got whisked away to Cloud, he immediately stumbled out of the triangular formation, and fell onto the Raikage's desk, hitting his head and knocking him out cold.

To be fair, Yugito didn't fare much better with her stumbling backwards and landing on her ass.

This was the scene that almost scared Ai into defecating himself. 'Why did I put that seal in my office?' he thought to himself.

The Hirashin Team vanished again, with no report of what happened, as it was rather obvious. Ai looked at Yugito crawling back up from the ground and ordered "Report."

After she managed to stand back up, she professionally replied "Naruto Uzumaki woke up from his coma, so the Hokage ordered that he immediately be sent to Cloud in order to start his training circuit."

Ai leaned over his desk to look at the Uzumaki that was currently drooling on the ground in front of his desk. "And then he managed to knock himself out again." Yugito finished

Ai rubbed his temples and sighed. "I guess his training starts tomorrow."

Yugito walked to the aforementioned Uzumaki, and picked him up. "I'll take him to my home." Ai nodded his head.

Yugito's house was close to administration, so it only took an opened window, a few hops, and she was there with her new husband. Climbing in through the window, she was met with her apartment's Spartan interior that had collected a bit of dust since her excursion to Konoha. She walked over to her bed, and plopped Naruto down on it.

Her bed was one of the few luxuries that she allowed herself. It was a queen, with a heated blanket, and a large amount of fluffy pillows. It didn't fit in at all with the rest of her bare apartment, but she didn't care. It was comfortable, but after discovering that she was a cuddler, she had been having trouble sleeping, and knew that when Naruto was away, she would have trouble finding rest.

But that didn't matter now. It was afternoon, Naruto was fast asleep on her bed, and she didn't have anything better to do.

It didn't matter if she managed to cuddle with Naruto while he was in the hospital. Waiting for all her housemates to fall asleep, sneaking out of the house, and waking yourself up before anyone in the hospital noticed didn't allow for much shut-eye.

So she decided to catch up on her sleep, and after changing to her pajama's, she crawled in bed with him.

She had really missed her bed. It was so comfortable, and that combined with the Naruto she had to cuddle up with sent her to blissful sleep almost immediately.


	15. the misunderstandings

Chapter 15

Naruto woke up feeling like his head had bed put under a pressure grinder. After painfully opening his eyes, he took stock of his situation. Naruto was in an extremely fluffy bed, being glomped from the front by Yugito, and was also in a domicile that he did not recognize.

This worried him extremely, until he remembered how he was teleported to Cloud, where he hit his head. Connecting a few dots, he concluded that the room he was in either belonged to Yugito, or was provided by the resident Kage.

Having Yugito glomped onto his front, he was able to see that her eyes were going crazy under her eyelids, signifying intense dreaming. On one hand, Naruto really needed to get up and treat the growing pain in his head, but on the other hand, waking up someone while in REM was never a good idea.

Having a great idea, he did a quick substitution jutsu with a pillow big enough to take his place, and started to look around the apartment. It was a one floor apartment with bedroom area, a livingroom/kitchen area, a small laundry closet, and a bathroom area. He also noticed that it was bare of most of the things that a residence would usually have, such as pictures, or a TV. On a nearby clock, it read 8:30 AM

His body odor wasn't the healthiest. After all, he hadn't showered in about 2 weeks. So he decided to take some liberties with the apartment and went to the shower, where he stripped off his normal wear, and stepped into the shower.

As the warm water cascaded onto his form, he let a loud sigh out. It was really refreshing to let all the stink off his body, and the hot water did a little to help the throbbing in his head. He was so relaxed that he unknowingly stayed in the shower for 30 minutes. Apparently the hot water was never-ending, or else he would have noticed him staying the shower for as long as he did.

What he did immediately notice was the door to the room opening. Peeking around the curtains, he was met with the glassy eyed form of Yugito. He very nearly screamed in the most feminine and shrill way possible. But was able to conclude that she had something important to say before he was able to do that.

"What do you want, Yugito?" he asked breathlessly.

She was silent for a full moment before replying "Mmmm. I want you." She slurred out

Naruto sweatdropped. "What?"

She was silent for another moment, before grunting, and walking closer to the shower. This slightly freaked him out. "W-What's going on Yugito?" he asked nervously.

She started breathing out her words "I want… I want… I want…" she said, all the while continuing to walk closer to the shower, and the naked Naruto.

Naruto's brain went on rapid fire. 'Is this what pervy-sage meant? Does she really want to _be_ with me? But why is she walking to me? And why are her eyes glazed over? I don't think I'm ready for sex.'

All while he was having these thoughts, Yugito made it to the shower, and calmly walked in, still wearing clothes. 'Why is she still wearing clothes?' Naruto was really freaking out now. He had no experience with the opposite sex, or with sex in general. Not only that, but he was 13 dammit, he felt extreme fear and trepidation for what was about to happen. He saw how the water forced the pajamas onto her skin, almost enunciating her curves, she was nearly breathless, and ghostly silent. Naruto's heart began to beat at extremely rapid levels. This wasn't how he wanted to lose his virginity. Not while having a skull-splitting headache, and with a woman that although he cared about, hardly knew.

Whatever he was expecting to happen, he wasn't expecting her to grab the soap bar and start lathering herself, while still clothed. Creating a soapy mess of her pajamas.

'What the actual fuck.' He was extremely confused, until he was able to connect a few more dots.

Glazed over eyes.

Slow, unsure movements.

Doing things that were extremely illogical.

Weird speech patterns.

Yugito was fucking sleepwalking. Naruto remembered hearing about sleepwalking during one of his many trips to the hospital, but seeing it in actuality was really weird. Yugito was usually so calm, confident, and stoic. And now here she was, lathering her clothed form with soap. It was actually really comical, and Naruto would have laughed in relief, if not for his still pounding skull, and rapid heartbeat. Leaving her to her own devices, he stepped out of the shower, dried himself off, and half clothed himself before looking back at the shower.

The shower was wide open, making water cascade to the floor. 'She's going to make a huge mess.' Naruto was really tempted to just walk away from the situation, but his conscience got the better of him

He walked over to the shower, and turned the water off. She was still lathering herself with nothing, so it looked like she was repeatedly rubbing her wet, clothed, body. Naruto grabbed her hand, and slowly led her out of the shower. She was sopping wet, and no amount of toweling off would dry her pajamas. She had to get off the clothes so she wouldn't be wet, and so she wouldn't catch a cold. Naruto sighed, looked away, and began to unbutton her top pajamas. He refused to be a pervert like Jiraya. After her pajama top was wide open, he, while still looking away, got her to shrug it off. She didn't wear underwear under her sleepwear

'Okay, top done. Just move to the bottom.'

He grabbed the spandex part, and quickly pulled it down. Careful not to look up, he crouched down, and lifted each leg quickly to get her legs out of the leg holes. When she was completely naked, he began to towel off her form. When she was dry to a sufficient degree, he led her back to room, still naked, and got her to lie back down on the bed.

After covering her up with her blanket, she immediately fell back to normal sleep. Naruto sighed 'Well that was an ordeal' he thought to himself. He then went to the kitchen to look for any head-ache pills, and after scouring the place, he finally found some in one of the top-most drawers and quickly downed a couple with a glass of water.

He went back to the bathroom, and cleaned up the floor with some spare towels. After doing that, he clumped up all the towels and the clothes sans his own, and brought them over to the laundry closet thing to dump them all in. Naruto then started the cleaning cycle.

Once the bathroom was all cleaned up, he re-entered it in order to get fully clothed. And went to go get some breakfast. Her pantry consisted of a single box of cereal. Shrugging his shoulders, he quickly made a bowl of it for himself, and downed it almost immediately. He went to get a look outside, but a package blocked the door from being fully opened. Looking down on it, he noticed that it had a note:

_Dear Naruto Uzumaki._

_You are to start your training this morning at 10:00 at training ground 8. Don't be late. We've provided you with our traditional Kumo chunin wear._

He looked at the clock. 9:50.

Eyes growing wide, he shut the door, opened the box, and feverishly began stripping his clothes off and replacing the clothes with the chunin fatigues. Once he was presentable, he ran out the door, and began speeding off.

After realizing that he didn't know where training ground 8 was, he slowed down and ran up to the nearest shinobi that he could find.

She was dark-skinned, had red hair, was wearing a frilly dress under her Kumo chunin fatigues, and had a sword strapped to her back.

"Do you know where training ground 8 is?" he asked quickly.

One of her eyebrows rose. "Yeah. That's where I'm heading now. Why do you need to know?"

"I'm supposed to be there by 10:00" he said quickly, fearing that he might be late.

"Just follow me. We're not that far." She said, still confused. 'Why would this guy need to go to our training ground?' she didn't voice her concerns, however. And just began to speed off in the direction that she had been heading before being interrupted by Naruto, who quickly followed suit.

As they were running, Karui decided to interrogate the shinobi slightly. "What's your Name?"

"Naruto."

'Naruto… I swear I've heard that name before.' "How old are you?"

"13" He answered.

"That's how old I am, why didn't I see you in the academy?"

"Oh, I'm new here."

"You're _new_ here? How does a Kumo chunin just _become_ a Kumo chunin?"

"Well… they gave me the vest…"

"That's not what I meant. How could a person new to Kumo become a chunin level Kumo shinobi?"

"I'm not even from Kumo, I'm from Konoha."

Karui's eyes widened. 'Oh, so he must be an emissary.' She had, of course, heard about the agreement between the nations to not wage war, to train together, yadda yadda yadda. But she was having slight trouble believing that the shinobi that was running next to her was a diplomat from Konoha that was meant to represent an entire village

"Aren't you kind of young to be an emissary from Konoha?"

Naruto, not knowing what emissary meant, took her phrasing to be an incredulousness that he was the part of the symbolic marriage that was representing his hidden village. It had been a few weeks, details of the marriage would be known to the people, so he wasn't very surprised that she recognized him, even if she actually didn't. "Yes, I am way too young to be an emissary from Konoha." He spoke in deadpan.

Miscommunication leads to misunderstanding, which leads to conflict, which leads to death, which leads to hate. And thus the cycle of hate perpetuates itself.

So it was a good thing that this miscommunication was over something that had extremely little prevalence in the shinobi world.

Karui's eyes widened, that wasn't the sort of response that she had been expecting. "If you're too young, why are you here?"

"It's a long story." Naruto said exasperatedly "But it could all be summed up as: my dad fucked up."

Karui decided not to pry any further, and they reached the training ground with no more conversation. It was there that they met up with the rest of her team sans the sensei.

Standing in the open was a fairly well-endowed blond kunoichi, wearing a miniskirt under her Kumo fatigues, and a tanto on her back. He idly noticed that her vest had been slightly modified to accommodate her large bust size. The person standing next to her was a dark-skinned male, wearing standard Kumo fatigues, had a katana on his back, and was sucking on a lollipop.

"Oi, Omoi. Stand up straight and show some respect. This guy's a Konoha emissary." Karui ordered to her laid back teammate.

His eyes widened considerably, while Samui's only widened marginally. Had to keep a cool appearance after all. His back stood up straighter. "H-Hello Konoha-san. I'm Omoi, and this is Samui. We're honored to have you here." He then proceeded to bow respectfully.

This definitely surprised Naruto. "Eh, it's cool, I'm Naruto Uzumaki. Nice to meet you."

"It's cool to meet you too Uzumaki-san" Samui responded.

"Just call me Naruto." He said amicably. "So why was I called here?"

"Bee said that we're supposed to train you." Omoi responded. "But he was busy writing songs, so he couldn't meet up with you."

"Okay… what are we going to start with?"

"Do you know any kenjutsu?" Omoi asked.

"I know how to throw kunai and shuriken."

Omoi sweatdropped. "Practically all of our skill-set is comprised of sword wielding."

"What can you do with a sword that you can't with a kunai?" Naruto knew that swords provided larger reach, and were generally more deadly than kunai, but he didn't know why there had to be an entire shinobi discipline dedicated to the art.

Omoi promptly unsheathed his katana, shouted out **"Head cleaver" **and swung his sword in the direction of a few dummies, beheading all of them at once in a fantastic display of chakra being flung at high speeds from his blade.

Omoi was breathing slightly. "Sometimes it takes a bit of chakra, but if you have good control and good kenjutsu skills, then you can do a lot of extremely useful maneuvers."

Naruto was dumbstruck. "Where do I start?"

Omoi took out a scroll and unsealed a katana from it, he then handed it over to Naruto. "It's my spare. You can use it for now."

"Oh. Okay! Thanks!" Naruto experimentally unsheathed the blade, and held it out in front of him, getting a feel for the weight.

"Katana's are extremely versatile weapons. They're flexible, but also extremely sharp; which can only be achieved when using different metal types during the forging process. If imbued with some chakra metal, they can store chakra for short periods of time, and if manipulated correctly, can be used to discharge all that chakra in a singular direction."

"Okay." Naruto said, understanding so far.

"However, to get to the point where you can safely discharge chakra, you have to have the kata's of the movements transcribed to your muscle memory, and have the ability to actually internally mold the chakra, externally push that chakra into the blade, externally mold that chakra, and externally discharge that chakra, all the while being careful to manipulate it correctly."

"Okay." Naruto didn't really understand all the chakra mumbo-jumbo, but he'd cross that bridge when it came to it.

"For now, we'll just go over the kata's. There are a lot of strikes that are supposed to be used against opponents with different knowledge in wielding various weapons, as well as open-handed combat. But for now, we'll just focus on the strikes that have to do with fighting another kenjutsu user."

Naruto nodded. Omoi began showing him how to do all the strikes, from overhead, to side, to diagonal, etc. and critiquing him on all the points that Naruto was getting wrong in when he tried it himself.

"Is everyone a better teacher than Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto mumbled to himself.

"What was that?" Omoi asked.

"Nothing." Naruto said with a grin.

Back at Yugito's house.

Yugito just woke up from her extremely long sleeping session. She began to stretch her body out, and sought the warmth and comfort that the bedmate would usually provide. After reaching out under the covers of the entire bed, she concluded that her bedmate was gone.

Yugito slowly sat upright, and arched her back out to stretch out the kinks. She wasn't expecting her nipples to harden at the sudden loss of warmth and introduction to the chilly air. Yugito looked down and noticed a lot of other things about her current situation. Namely that she was naked, and her hair was also wet. She took Naruto's absence to be a bit more serious after noticing those other two things.

'What happened? Why am I naked? Why is my hair wet?' she pondered to herself, as she got up and dressed for the day. 'I could have sworn that I fell asleep in my pajamas.' Walking into the living room, she saw signs of another person getting ready for the day. Things like an unwashed bowl of cereal, the washer running, the shower obviously having been used. But what got most of her attention was Naruto's clothes scattered around the entryway of the house.

Yugito started getting extremely worried. She went to the washer, and looked inside. Sure enough, the pajamas that she could have sworn that she wore last night was swirling around inside of it.

Her brain started connecting the dots in the incorrect order. She woke up naked, she had showered at some point, Naruto's clothes were scattered about the entrance, her own clothes were in the washer, and he hadn't woken up with her.

The 'truth' hit her like a ton of bricks. She slumpt against the nearest wall for support, and slowly slipped down as her legs lost the ability to support themselves. Her eyes were wide, and her mouth was open in shock. 'I slept with him… Holy shit I slept with him. But why can't I remember anything?' His clothes were haphazardly swept across the entrance, which might have signified a struggle. 'No I didn't just sleep with him. I _raped_ him.' Utter revulsion swept into her being. The first person that she had sworn to protect for a long time, and she just raped him.

Yugito felt like she needed to puke. She crawled over to the toilet and began to dry heave. It was horrible, the feeling that she was having. It was sheer and utter contempt to her being. She felt dirty on the inside, the outside, and everywhere between. After her dry heaving episode was over with, she slumpt back onto the wall and cupped her face in her hands.

'This could mean the end.' The end of the peace treaty between the nations, but more importantly, the end of her relationship with Naruto. She had just gotten a friend, a little brother, a person who she could look after, protect and get stronger to protect. And she had just ended that.

She leaned her head back against the wall and just sat there for the time being. She had to think things through. 'Okay, okay… Just because his clothes were strewn about, doesn't mean I raped him. For all I know, it could have been completely consensual.' Another wave of revulsion swept across her being. 'Why can't I fucking remember anything?' she gripped her still wet hair with both of her hands, signifying frustration.

'So his clothes were off. My clothes were off. My clothes somehow ended up in the washer. And we probably slept in the same bed at some point. I don't think I could spin that in any other way than us having sex.' She started breathing in and out deeply. 'Christ, maybe Kurotsuchi was right. Maybe I _am_ a shotacon.'

Yugito slowly began to get up. 'Yo, Matatabi?'

She heard grumbling in the back of her head. **"What?"** came the bleary voice of her resident bijuu.

'Do you remember anything about last night?'

"**I remember being asleep. Why?"**

'I think that I had sex with Naruto.'

This garnered the sexless bijuu's immediate attention. **"Wow kitten. How bold of you."**

'No, not bold. Disgusting. I just had sex with a shinobi half my age, and I don't even remember it.'

"**What about that saying… old enough to kill, old enough to fuck?"**

'What saying? I've never heard about that. Not only that, but nobody is old enough to kill. Killing is a service that one must undertake for safety of either the self or the country. Nobody is old enough to kill, while there are certainly a lot of reasons why people shouldn't be old enough to have sex.'

"**Like what? You did say **_**sex**_** and not **_**rape.**_**"**

'I'm not clear on how consensual it was. And he's 13, he's not even fully sexually mature yet.'

"**So you'd be willing to do him in a couple of years?"**

Yugito groaned in frustration. 'Why do I ever come to you for support?'

"**Because the only one you have to talk to anymore is the voice inside your head."**

'Cute' she thought to Matatabi humorlessly. She got up and made for the front door. 'I have to patch things up with him. Talk to you later.'

"**Bye bye. My adorably little kitten shotacon."**

Yugito's eye began to twitch fiercely. She noticed the box that was opened up next to the door, and the letter that came with it.

She read the letter only up to mention of training ground 8, and promptly sped out the door in search of her husband.

Training ground 8

Naruto was getting the hang of swordplay.

Not that he would be able to seriously fight against an opponent with battle experience any time soon, but he was getting used to wielding a sword, and the several strikes that came along with it.

Once Omoi had given him the thumbs up of approval towards his slash's form, he had been instructed to continue doing the strikes over and over, to get them recorded in his muscle memory. But that's kind of boring. Naruto may not like sitting still for long periods of time, but doing monotonous work for long periods of time was almost quite as bad. So he decided to ask some questions, to alleviate the boredom. Omoi and Karui had started sparring, but Samui was just watching him do the kata's, probably to make sure that he was getting them right.

"How high up is Kumo?" Naruto asked.

"About 6,500 feet above sea level." Samui responded.

"That's really high."

"Yeah. We're not called the village hidden in the clouds for nothings." Naruto could believe it. He looked out at the crags and spires that jutted up through clouds with a slight sense of awe. It looked like rocks were taking a bath in milk.

"So, why are there so many dark-skinned people?" Omoi and Karui stopped sparing and stared at him with stupefied expressions.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Karui asked.

Naruto got scared that he might have flubbed that question. "It's just that there aren't very many dark-skinned people in Konoha." He said quickly.

"Really?" Karui asked.

"Yeah. If fact, that Bee guy was the first black person that I've met."

All three of their eyes widened. Black was the main ethnicity in Kumo, to hear that there were so few people of color that Naruto had yet to meet one before Bee was slightly jarring.

They were about to further question Naruto, but were interrupted by Yugito flying in. she was breathing heavily, her eyes were wide and dilated, and her hair was damp-ish.

She calmly walked up to Naruto, who blushed upon remembrance of the mornings activities. She didn't take the blush on his face as a particularly good sign.

"Omoi, Karui, Samui." She said, acknowledging their presence. They looked at her in confusion. Although they knew each other mostly from the fact that Bee and Yugito were the Jinchuuriki of Kumo, and Bee being their sensei would assure that they would have met. Whenever they did meet, Yugito would be withdrawn, cold, and unfriendly. So seeing her in this state was slightly worrisome.

Looking at Naruto, she immediately averted her gaze to anywhere but his eyes. "I need to talk to you." She said simply.

"Whoa wait, why do you need to talk to him?" Karui asked.

She started fidgeting nervously. "Look, I just need to talk to him alone for a few seconds." She said again.

Naruto was starting to get nervous too. "It's okay guys. I'll be right back." He said with one of his patented foxy smirks. He and Yugito started to hop away a distance from the three bewildered Kumo genin.

Once they were out of sight from the genin team, Yugito stopped, and got on one knee, to get on eye level with Naruto. "Listen… do you remember what happened?" Yugito asked Naruto. He started blushing again, and fidgeted slightly. She was planning on confirming what happened, then going on to explain that she was going to try her best to put everything that happened behind her.

"Yes. But you weren't supposed to." Naruto said, alluding to the fact that once sleepwalkers were put to bed, they were supposed to have forgotten everything that they did while in their walking slumber. This statement perplexed Yugito for a second. But then a few things clicked inside her mind.

'Wait. I wasn't supposed to remember?... Did he… drug me?' Yugito's eyes went wider than they had ever been. She grabbed Naruto's shoulders and slammed him onto the ground in a moment of fantastic fury. "YOU RAPED ME!?" she shouted at him.

Naruto was having trouble breathing from his sudden slam onto the ground. Yugito extended her claws ominously. Her eyes were full of emotion; disappointment, rage, disbelief, horror, but most prominent of all was betrayal.

Tears began to well up in her eyes and she began to shake. "I trusted you…" she said quietly. Yugito was trembling violently enough to the point where her shaking hands were making him worried that she might cut something important by accident.

Or on purpose

Naruto finally got control of his breathing, and immediately shouted "you were sleepwalking!"

This caused Yugito to stop shaking quite as much. She held her sharpened claws to Naruto's throat, and whispered "What did you say?"

Naruto calmly explained what happened that morning to Yugito, or at least as calmly as one could with sharpened claws directed towards one's throat. After hearing his explanation, she backed off of him, retracted her claws, and sighed in relief.

"You thought I raped you?" Naruto asked, while getting up. He was extremely freaked out by what Yugito had done, and was shaking slightly in fear. Yugito took a moment, but was able to explain her side of the story, which Naruto was able to laugh at.

"But I was knocked out. How could we have had sex?" he asked.

"I don't know, I guess I wasn't thinking properly. I've been having a really strange morning" They both looked at each other straight in the eyes, and burst out laughing. Naruto was laughing at the absurdity of the whole situation, while Yugito was laughing only in relief.

Miscommunications lead to misunderstandings, which leads to conflict, which leads to death, which leads to hate. And thus the cycle of hate perpetuates itself.

Naruto got back up, and dusted himself off. "I have to go back and train."

Yugito also got back up. "Yeah, I think I need to go rest a bit." She replied shakily

Naruto chuckled a little bit. "You sure do sleep a lot."

That, she did.

Training ground 8. 6:00

Naruto was gasping for breath, and covered in sweat. To go through a kata movement does take very little energy, but doing the kata movements for hours on end, with little to no rest does take its toll on the body.

"That's probably good enough for today." Karui said.

Naruto was doubled over, only supported by the katana that he was leaning on, when he fell over backwards to fully try and catch his breath.

Karui looked on with slight admiration, and then addressed Omoi. "I've never seen someone work so hard before."

Omoi looked on at the sight of Naruto gasping for air on the ground as well. "Yeah. He's taking really well to kenjutsu, or at least a lot better than I would have expected for a Konoha shinobi."

Samui walked up and nudged him on the side. "It's not cool of you to stay here. Where do you sleep?"

Naruto half-heartedly waved her off. "It's fine. I've got a place to be." He then proceeded to get himself back up, and stretched his still sore muscles.

"How long are you staying here?" Samui asked.

"Granny said that I'd be taking weekly rotations." Naruto then began to walk in the direction that he came from.

"Wait." Samui said "What do you mean, weekly rotations?"

Naruto looked back at her. "I'm going across the elemental nations. Every major village, and Waterfall. It's happening in weekly rotations."

"Oh." This somewhat surprised Samui. Usually diplomats only tried to connect to one village or country at a time. Anymore and one would run the risk of making an egregious mistake by way of accidentally swapping different culture's customs. But then again, Naruto seemed to only have passing knowledge on the hidden village of Kumo, and it wasn't like he was doing anything to span the gap between countries. He was just being trained by them. This was a perplexing situation to Samui.

He jogged off in the direction of Yugito's house. Leaving the genin to their own devices.

On his light job to Yugito's house, he passed by a supermarket. Remembering Yugito's dismal pantry, he decided to get some actual food for them.

Reaching around in his pockets, he found a wallet brimming with cash.

'Score.' Must be foreign policy to give diplomats huge sums of spending cash.

After making the purchases, he made his way back to Yugito's, where he found her in the middle of the living room whilst meditating.

Deciding not to disturb her, he began cooking the meal straight away. As fumes of dinnery goodness made its way across the house, Yugito began to perk up.

Cutting her session with Matatabi short, she made her way to the kitchen, where she found Naruto putting the finishing touched on fried fish.

Naruto noticed her presence, and looked back at her with his foxy grin. "Do you like fish?" he asked.

She nodded absently. Yugito still wasn't used to the concept of a home cooked meal, so this gesture was really rather touching to her.

He set the fish on plates, and brought them over to the table. Setting down the plates with the silverware for his wife, he sat down and began to eat his food. Slower than he usually would.

She sat down and began to eat her fried fish as well. It was good. Not splendid, but definitely a net positive.

"Look…" Naruto started "I'm really sorry about the whole misunderstanding this morning." He said with an apologetic expression.

"O-Oh, its fine. I probably overreacted anyway." She responded while fidgeting nervously.

"No, it's not your fault. I knew that I should have left a note or something." But he didn't, because he was a little low on time at the time.

"Look… Can we just… drop it?" she asked earnestly.

Naruto looked at her with a wistful expression. "Yeah. Okay." He looked like he had something more to say, but decided not to continue.

"What?"

"What?"

"You look like you have something more to say, so just say it." Yugito said plainly.

"It's just…" he began "… I would never try to hurt a person precious to me. And you're one of the people most precious to me." He said

Yugito gave a light smile, with a mouth full of fish. After swallowing, she replied "Same with you."

She wasn't a poet after all.

After cleaning their plates, they made their way to bed. Where they both cuddled in for the night.

Miscommunication leads to misunderstanding, which leads to conflict. However, conflict does not inherently mean something bad. Conflict as its core definition is an interaction. And although most interactions between humans of different cultures end up with death, sometimes they end up with love.

But only in the rarest of cases.


	16. the misunderstandings pt 2

Chapter 16

"Ha!"

"Ha!"

"Ha!"

Naruto was going through his new kata for kenjutsu, and rapidly exhaling whenever he went through a particular stroke.

It had been 5 days since he woke up in Kumo, meaning that he'd be leaving the next day. He was going to miss his new friends/ instructors, team Bee. It was really fun hanging around them, but at least he was going to be able to see them again in a month.

"Ha!"

"Ha!"

"Ha!"

Naruto's shirt was off, and every time he swung his sword, little droplets of sweat would glance off his frame. Our favorite blond haired Jinchuuriki caught slight movement in the corner of his eye, and turned just a little to look at its source. Samui, who had been the source of the movement and was looking at him from out of earshot, quickly averted her gaze from his form.

His time spent with Bee's genin team had been a lot of fun for him, and he even picked up on their quirks. From Karui's slight irascibility, to Omoi's overthinking attitude, to Samui's always cool and calm demeanor, and of course, Bee's rapping.

That fucking rapping.

Karui noticed Samui's position, and with a smirk on her face, went to join her in conversation. Naruto looked away and continued his kata movements. Omoi and Bee were sparring from just out of his eyesight.

It had astounded him when the rapping Jinchuuriki and his students first sparred in front of him. Bee had produced 7 smaller blades, and held them at strategic points all over his body. He then proceeded to fight all 3 of them off at the same time. It didn't look so much like a fight as a dance. Bee weaved through their swings, parrying, blocking, and striking all with expert ease. That fight had shown Naruto the true gulf between jonin and genin.

"Ha!"

"Ha!"

"Ha!"

Naruto continued his movements. He really liked the katana, which surprised him. He had always figured himself out to be a brawler-type ninja, one who could take and deal punishment all in order to delay, or beat down the enemy. But with the non-stop kenjutsu training over the week that he had been there, he had really taken a liking to the sword arts. It just felt comfortable to him.

Of course he was of no threat to any of the genin team when dealing with strictly kenjutsu. A week of hard training still could never come close to years of training and experience with swords. Kenjutsu is part of the curriculum of the academy in Kumo, he quickly found out. But he could still feel himself improving with the sword, which he liked a lot. After all, he would need all the strength he could get in order to protect all the people precious to him from the likes of akatsuki or Orochimaru. That, and he would get Sasuke back to Konoha, willingly or not.

"Ha!"

"Ha!"

"Ha!"

Samui finished her conversation with Karui, and with a slight blush on her face, walked forward to him. He found great pleasure in talking to her over their time training together. He would probably attribute it to how her personality always dictated a cold and concise response, so he would always try to get either an emotional, or an intellectual rise out of her. He wasn't very successful, but it was still fun seeing her respond to his prodding.

He lowered his sword as Samui got closer to him. "Hey Samui. What's up?" he asked, still dripping slightly with perspiration.

She was finding it difficult to meet his eyes, so she drew them downwards and to the side. "If you would like to," she said with a strong resolve "Would you accompany me for some dinner?"

"Yeah… sure." Naruto said warily. He had never seen Samui with any sign of a lack of confidence, failure to create eye contact was one show of unconfident behavior.

"Okay then, when and where can I pick you up?" She _was_ the citizen, she knew the area better, and thus knew which restaurants were good, so she was going to be the one to pick him up. He told her the address, and after memorizing it, she walked confidently back to Karui, who raised her hand for a high-five. Samui, in another show of uncharacteristic behavior, tentatively raised her hand to meet Karui's.

'What was that about?' Naruto asked mentally.

Yugito's apartment.

Naruto was having a slight dilemma. Namely, he still couldn't find his favorite orange jacket.

After Naruto and Yugito woke up the day after the whole 'sleepwalk SNAFU', a shinobi said that the Raikage needed her for a mission. Apparently it was a long-term reconnaissance mission, so she was still gone after 4 days. But what was strange was that Naruto couldn't find his jacket anywhere after she left. It was just there one moment, then, POOF, he couldn't find it.

It was 5:50, he told Samui to pick him up at 6:00.

Naruto sighed and walked back to the room that he shared with Yugito. After heavy-duty kenjutsu training, all of his t-shirts had been basically turned into sweat rags. So the only thing that he had left was his one dress shirt, which was colored white. Luckily enough, his orange pants were in prim condition for an evening out.

Naruto began to ponder the reason for his marriage for the umpteenth time again. 'Pervy-Sage said that the whole reason for this marriage was to show how leaf and the other nations could stay together by using me and my wives as a symbol to be looked up to by the citizens of our nations.' Naruto thought out logically. 'So why is it that Yugito is sent on a long mission the day after I wake up?' He sighed in confusion 'This doesn't make any sense.'

The doorbell rang out, and Naruto quickly went to open the door to Samui.

"Good evening." She said in her cold tone. She was wearing a normal purple blouse and a navy blue skirt that went down just above her knees. There was also a light dusting of make-up on her face. In shinobi terms, she was really dressed up for a night out. This made Naruto feel slightly better about his own choice of semi-formal clothing.

He gave her a big, foxy grin, and stepped outside with her. "Hey Samui." He said with a cheerful demeanor. "So where do you want to go to eat?"

She looked off to the distance and responded with an airy tone "There's this place that I've always wanted to eat at." She began to walk off, with Naruto following next to her.

"Great. So where is it?" Naruto asked excitedly. He hadn't been able to hang out with his friends for a while, except for when training, and he didn't really count that as 'hanging out.' So with his extroverted personality, he was really craving some interaction with his newfound friends.

"It's a bit of a walk." She replied vaguely.

"So why don't we run?" he asked. They were ninja after all. Walking wasn't really something done all that often.

She glanced down at her feet. She was in high heels. "It's not that cool to ask a lady to run in high heels." She replied cheekily.

Naruto blushed in embarrassment. "Sorry, I didn't notice that you were wearing them."

So they were walking to get the food. Which was a ways away. While wearing formal wear. And Samui was being uncharacteristically cheerful, or at cheerful for her. When she asked him to get dinner with her, she didn't mention anything about anyone else coming with them, and she seemed kind of embarrassed when doing so.

All of these things suddenly occurred to Naruto. His eyes went wide with realization. 'Is this a date?' Naruto brushed off this notion as soon as it came to him. She wouldn't ask him out on a date. She knew that he was the one who was in an arranged marriage with Yugito, right? Everything's probably just a coincidence.

Naruto looked at Samui, and tried to come up with unique topics of conversation, but failed. "So… what do you like most about Kumo?" Naruto finally came up with.

She looked up at the sky. "The people." She said plainly.

"The people?" Naruto wasn't expecting that answer. With Samui's cold attitude towards just about everything, he suspected that the people would be on the bottom of her 'likes' list.

"Yes." She looked around her, at the people surrounding them on the street. "I like them. They're all just… happy, and I like that." She said with a slightly melancholic smile on her face.

"So you're happy because they're happy?" Naruto ventured.

Samui was silent for a moment. "Yes. I'm happy when they're happy."

Naruto walked alongside her in silence for a moment, pondering. Naruto loved Konoha. It was his home, of course he loved it. However, when he thought of the people that made up Konoha, it didn't fill him up with happiness. He remembered all the stares, all the whispers about him. He remembered that the parents of the kids that he played with as a child would always warn their children not to play with him. He remembered being alone, while swinging dourly on the academy swing set, looking at the people of Konoha with envy. They were happy. But that didn't make him happy.

Samui noticed his face, which was scrunched up in thought. "Are you okay?" she asked with some concern.

Naruto broke out of his funk, and gave her his foxy smile. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Samui looked on, not believing him. "You sure?"

"Yes." Naruto said, wishing that she would drop it.

She looked dubiously at him, but decided not to pry further. "So what do you like about Konoha?" she asked.

Naruto thought in silence for a bit. "The people who are precious to me."

"The same as me?"

Naruto found it difficult to articulate how they were different. "No… just the ones that I like." Naruto inwardly cringed. That sounded extremely shallow, even to his normal denseness. "Wait, not like that. It's just… I didn't have a lot of friends as a kid. So when everyone around me was happy, I didn't feel happy, because I was alone." This got Samui's attention. "So when I finally did get people that liked me, I guess that I just latched onto them."

Samui was silent for a moment. "So you live because of other people?"

"…Yes." Naruto said with great resolve.

"That's kind of stupid." Samui said with a straight face.

That drew a little bit of Naruto's ire. "What? Don't you do the same thing?"

"I'm happy because the people are happy, but I don't live for them. I live for myself."

Naruto was a loss for words. "Huh? What about your teammates?"

"What about them?"

"Well… wouldn't you fight for them?"

"Of course I would, they're my teammates."

"But…" Naruto truly didn't know how to respond to her.

Samui sighed. "I don't live for them, because if they die, then I wouldn't have anything to live for."

Solid logic. However, that almost directly contradicted his belief. "The reason that I have to get stronger." Naruto said "is to protect the people precious to me."

Samui looked at him strangely. "You don't get stronger for the village? Or it's people?"

Naruto was having a lot of his convictions called into question, which he didn't really like. "No, I fight for the people."

"Wrong, you fight for your people." She said accusingly.

"That's right, I fight for the people close to me."

"But what happens if they die?" she asked with a serious expression on her face. They're ninja. They experience death. Death of the ones closest to a person who was a ninja was almost unavoidable.

"But they won't die. Because I'm going to get stronger to protect them." Naruto said resolutely, believing that he had won the argument.

"So on every mission, on every outing, on every chance that they might be in the slightest danger, you'll be there for them? To protect them?"

Naruto was silent in thought for a while. "No."

"What if they die?"

"I don't… know."

Naruto was feeling really conflicted all of the sudden. "But what else can I do? I'm always going to fight for them. To my dying breath."

"And as will I. but I acknowledge that sometimes my friends will die. That's just how life is. People live, and people die. You can't be strong enough to protect them all. And even if you were strong enough to protect them all, if the only thing that you do is protect them, then that denotes that you don't have any faith in their abilities."

Naruto remembered Yugito's story about how her friends were killed. About how the Third was killed. It was true, sometimes people die and you can't do anything to change that. But then he remembered his and his wives' oath in the hospital, to get stronger and protect each other. Naruto shook his head. "I live for my friends, because if I didn't, I couldn't live with myself."

Samui nodded appreciatively. "That's stupid…" Naruto looked at her, aggravated. "But it's also kind of cool." His expression cheered up.

"…Thanks." He said.

She looked at him in confusion. "For what?"

Naruto looked wistful. "I don't know. I guess… thanks for making me think."

"You don't do that very often do you?"

Naruto stuck his tongue out at her, and she giggled in response.

They spent the rest of the walk to the restaurant in relative silence.

When they arrived, Naruto felt his mouth go dry. The inside had probably the fanciest atmosphere that he had ever seen in his life. It had a decadent feel to it, and he noticed that all the meals looked really good, but had little, if any, substance to them. He felt really underdressed in his dress shirt and track pants.

Although the inside reeked of decadence and splendor, it was only about half-way full. A server walked up to the two shinobi and greeted them. "Welcome to the Lightning Flash, how may I serve you?"

"A table for two." Samui said readily. The server walked them towards a window table.

After being seated, Naruto commented "I've never been anywhere so fancy."

"Neither have I." Samui stated "My brother always talks about how he takes his girlfriend here, and I wanted to see what it was like as well. But I needed someone to take with me." She finished with a light smile.

Naruto inwardly sighed in relief. 'So it wasn't a date. She was just curious about this restaurant.'

Naruto wasn't the best at picking up social cues, especially not when they actually have to do with romance. This could easily be explained by the fact that he didn't have very many people that he could confide in for help, as well as the fact that he had never been sought out as a romantic pursuit, and didn't have any idea what it would look or feel like.

That being said, it was extremely dense of him to not notice that Samui was into him, and had asked him out on a date. Even as he was on the date with her.

Naruto asked her about herself. She recounted her life story with nary a sad expression or countenance.

When she was really young, her parents had died. Leaving her and her brother in an orphanage. Her brother, Atsui, decided to become a ninja, so he got the orphan-ninja-protection plan which was customary in all the major ninja villages. The package included a small apartment to live in, as well as a village stipend for him to live off of. He took Samui in with him when he relocated to said apartment and she resolved to become a ninja just like him, to take some of the burden off of him.

She turned out to be a really good ninja, and rose to the top of the leaderboards in the academy. After graduating at top shinobi, she was placed on a team with Omoi, Karui, and Bee.

As she was recounting her tale, the waiter showed up and took their orders.

"That's kind of a sad story." Naruto said in a dour tone.

"It's not that bad. I have my brother, even if he's kind of a hot-head, I have my teammates, and I have my sensei." She replied coolly.

Naruto's visage brightened up. "Yeah. If you have people that you love around you, nobody could be unhappy."

Samui smiled melancholically "Yeah, I guess. What about you?"

"Hm?"

"What's your story?" she clarified.

"Well… I was born an orphan. There was nobody there for me when I was a kid, so I kind of turned into a screw up. But on the day that I graduated from the academy, my teacher showed that I meant a lot to him, and he became my first precious person." Naruto didn't know if his status as Jinchuuriki was still confidential. The topic had never come up when training with Bee and his team, and he never brought it up for fear that it might still be a village secret. So he decided to opt that part out of his story. "After that, I met my team. They're all really nice. Kakashi's really lazy, and a horrible teacher. Sakura's really nice, and always tries her best. Sasuke's kind of a dick…" Naruto trailed off on his mention of Sasuke. "We went a lot of missions together, but then I became an emissary." Naruto still thought that emissary meant a person who was pushed into an arranged political marriage. "Then Sasuke abandoned the leaf, and I made a promise to get him back to Konoha. After that, I started my training circuit, and now I'm here." Naruto finished off with a smile.

"Why did Sasuke leave?" Samui asked.

"I don't… I don't really know. He said that he needed power to kill his brother, who was responsible for the Uchiha massacre."

Samui's eyes widened. "You were on a team with the last Uchiha?"

Naruto had a sad expression on his face. "Yeah. He was kind of a dick, but I felt like he was the only person who knew how it felt to be alone. I always wanted to be his friend."

"I'm sorry for your loss."

Naruto put up his biggest, and greatest smiles. "Nope, I don't accept your sympathy, because I'm going to get him back."

Samui looked doubtful. "What if he doesn't want to come back?"

"Then I'll just have to break his arms and his legs, and drag him back all the way."

Samui's eyes rose. "You're quite the determined guy, aren't you?"

"Of course. Never give up. That's my shinobi way." Naruto gave her a thumbs up and a foxy smirk.

"Never give up huh? That's quite the way of the shinobi."

"It's the most awesome there is."

Meanwhile, they were being spied upon by two inquisitive Kumo shinobi at tables opposite to them.

"I still really don't feel comfortable doing this." Omoi said for the umpteenth time that outing.

"Shut up," Karui hushed "just think about how much we get to rub this in her face when it's over."

"But what she finds out that we've been spying on her date?"

"She won't." Karui responded in an aggravated tone.

"If they hit it off, they could get more serious, then want to get married. But since we're from different nations, Kumo won't let it happen, and the Samui would kill herself out of grief." Omoi said, ramping up the absurdity of the situation with every passing word out of his mouth.

Karui looked at Omoi incredulously. "Are you mentally impaired? There's already political marriage with us, Yugito got married for fucks sake. Of course they would allow one with Naruto and Samui." It dawned on her that she had rode along with Omoi's train of thought. "And that's never going to happen dumbass."

"You say that now…" Omoi said in an ominous tone.

Karui was getting sick of his logic. "Stop overthinking everything, you sad sack of shit."

The table that they were supposed to be spying on suddenly burst into a quiet laughter. Apparently Naruto made a joke that he found extremely funny, and Samui as well, considering how she was covering her mouth with her hand, and shaking in amusement.

"God, I've never seen her like this." Karui commented.

"You think she's okay?" Omoi asked

"Of course she is. She's just really into him, I guess."

Both of their tables got their food simultaneously. The food on both ends, while tasting good, took up only about a sixteenth of the entirety of the plate. It was ridiculous.

"I'm never eating here again." Omoi said, silently crying while looking into his wallet. "We're going splitting the check." He said resolutely

"What? You're the guy. You have to pay for the lady."

A sweat drop rolled down Omoi's head. "First of all, I don't have enough money for both of us. Second of all, there is a list of requirements that you have to fulfill before you could be considered a lady, and you don't fill any of them."

A tic mark appeared on Karui's head. "Is that so? Shithead?"

The sweat drop enlarged.

Luckily for them, before they made the scene that they were about to make, Naruto and Samui both exited the restaurant, saving them from Samui's silent, and cold wrath. With Naruto paying for the both of them of course. He had way too much money to even think about letting her pay as well.

Just as they left, the restaurant turned into a battleground of Karui trying to violently castrate Omoi, and him trying desperately to fend her off.

The walk back to Naruto's place was surprisingly uneventful, and despite some of the heavier conversation material, they both had a lot of fun on their date.

Samui walked Naruto up to his door. "I had a really good time." she said.

"Yeah, so did I." Naruto said with a grin.

"We should do this again some time." Samui stated confidently.

"Oh… well I have to leave tomorrow…" Naruto trailed off.

"But you'll be coming back?"

"Yup, I'll always come back here to train." Naruto closed his eyes, and smiled.

While his eyes were closed, Samui decided to take her chance, and closed the distance between them to place a chaste kiss on his smiling lips.

With the most perfect timing in the world, Yugito opened the door to her apartment, just to see Samui kiss Naruto. Samui backed away from him in surprise. And Naruto was shocked into momentary paralysis.

"Samui?/Yugito?" they both asked each other at the same time.

"What are you doing at Naruto's apartment?" Samui asked accusingly.

"His apartment? This is _my_ apartment. And why were you two kissing on my front door step?"

Naruto broke out of his reverie. "S-Samui. Why did you do that?" he asked.

"Well… that's what you do after you go on a date." She responded plainly.

"So this was a date?"

"Of course it was. What did you think it was?"

"A friendly get-together between new found comrades?"

Both Samui and Yugito looked at him as if he was, in actuality, mentally handicapped.

"A-Anyways. We can't date."

"Why not?" Samui asked exasperatedly.

"Because I'm married."

A few things clicked in Samui's mind. Namely, the scene that Yugito made with Naruto on his first day training with them, along with the fact that he seems to be sharing a living area with him.

Samui blushed in extreme embarrassment. "Oh… I see. I'm sorry to have troubled both of you. Goodnight." And with that, she turned around and walked off quickly.

"Samui." Naruto called out, and made to go after her, but was held in place by Yugito.

Looking up to her for an explanation, he received her saying "Let her go, she needs some time to think."

Naruto watched her stalk off in the direction of, he presumed, her house in complete and utter silence.

"Hey Yugito?"

"Yeah?"

"What's an emissary?"

"A person sent from one nation to hold diplomatic relations to another."

"So, not a person who was forced into a political marriage?"

Yugito looked at him strangely. "Nope."

He was silent for a few moments.

"Hey Yugito?"

"Yeah?"

"When did you get back here?"

"About thirty minutes ago."

Naruto was silent for a few more moments.

"Hey Yugito?"

"Yeah?"

"I think I fucked up."

They were both silent for an amount of time.

She pulled him inside. "It's cold out, you'll get a fever." Naruto didn't make any sign of resistance against her. After he was in the living room, she went into her room to get ready for bed.

He looked at the clock. 9:00.

Had he really spent 3 hours on his date with her? It was kind of late.

He looked at the table in the kitchen. On it was her equipment that she had taken with her on her reconnaissance mission. What really attracted his attention however, was the adolescent-sized hugging pillow in the center of the equipment that had Naruto's orange jacket zipped up on it in the middle, and a crude drawing of his face on the top of it.

Yugito walked back out of her room, seeing Naruto stare at her Naruto-esque hugging pillow, the only explanation that she had to offer was "I wouldn't have been able to sleep otherwise."

Naruto nodded numbly. He didn't really care at this point. He just really wanted to go to sleep, and forget that the day had never happened.

So after climbing into bed with Yugito, that's exactly what he did.


	17. the anger

Chapter 17

The next morning.

Atsui knew that something was wrong with his sister. She was acting cold towards him. Well, that's not new information, but she was acting cold in a different way.

Usually her demeanor would be a mixture of cold and confidence, perfectly willing and capable of dishing out large helpings of kick-ass, all without breaking expression. Now, however, she was reclusively cold, seemingly lethargic, and not wanting to do her normal morning routine.

Atsui had never been really capable of cracking through his sister's icy personality, but when he saw her sitting at their table, slowly eating cereal with a beat-down expression on her face, he had to comment on it.

"So how was your date last night?" he said with great exuberance. Atsui was met with a death glare.

She glared at him often, mostly due to his hot-shot antics, but this glare spoke of physical injury should he continue talking.

He winced. "Not go well?"

She stopped glaring at him, and continued slowly eating her cereal. After a few bites, she said "It went great for me. But he apparently didn't know that it was a date, and wouldn't have agreed if he did."

Atsui winced once more. "Friend-zoned? I've never heard that happen to a chick before."

"More like 'comrade'-zoned" she continued to eat her cereal. "But it doesn't matter anyway."

"Why not? He have a girlfriend?"

"More like a wife."

Atsui's expression instantly morphed into one of surprise. "Married? I thought he was as old as you."

"He is my age" Samui continued giving clipped answers

"13? Was it an arranged marriage or something?" arranged marriages between different ninja villages were unheard of before the treaty, however arranged marriage was sometimes the only thing that held particular clans together in times of strife. If Naruto was part of a very influential clan, it would make sense to marry him off to another member, if only to ensure a progeny.

"Yes, it was an arranged marriage." Samui said with a defeated tone.

Atsui paused in order to think about what he was going to say next. "Well… that's a not so hot situation." He finally said. It was a lame condolence, and he knew that.

She gave out a light, humorless laugh. "And that's not the worst part. You know Yugito?" she asked rhetorically.

He nodded.

"He's the one who's married to her."

This shocked Atsui greatly. "You mean that he was the one who was used to unite all the villages?" Truthfully, while all of team Bee and he were listening to Ai's speech about the unity of the nations, they didn't listen too closely to the announcement because of the humorous dialogue that Omoi and Karui had been having at the time. "How did that not come up in conversation?"

Samui shook her head in confusion. "I don't know. I guess that he just didn't want to talk about it."  
She returned to her cereal eating.

Atsui was silent for a few more seconds. "Well… it _is_ an arranged marriage. Can't you see him as a 'mistress'?" he used finger quotes for the word 'mistress'.

She sighed. "Somehow I don't think that the marriage that's supposed to unite all the elemental nations would benefit much from one of the members seeking out another relationship."

Atsui didn't seem so sure. "You _are_ a member of the extremely influential Team Bee, and you graduated at the top of your class. Why don't you just ask to be married to him too?"

Samui turned her death glare back on. "I was interested in him, but I don't think that one good date would give me enough incentive to marry him."

"You know what I mean. Arranged marriage almost never starts out with both the parties involved feeling hot towards each other, and I doubt that having 4 other marriage partners would make it easier to feel hotter towards them. Why don't you just use the marriage as a vehicle for a relationship?" the reason that Atsui felt the need to argue for her continued relationship with him stemmed from the fact that Naruto was the first guy who seemed to crack through her cold personality, or at least put a dent in it. Truthfully, he felt worried that she would grow up socially stunted because of her demeanor, but when she came home after training with Naruto and told Atsui about him, she seemed slightly warm for once. So yeah, he was going to try and argue for his sister's continued happiness.

Samui sighed once again. "But what if it turns out that I don't like him? Or at least not enough to spend the rest of my life with him?"

Samui finished her cereal, and made to the door.

"Where are you going?" he asked out of concern.

"Team training." She said plainly.

"You forgot your tanto." She realized her error, and made to go and retrieve it from her room. After she got the short sword, she once again made for the door.

"You didn't put away your bowl." Samui sighed in frustration, and went to clear out her bowl. She was sure that she hadn't forgotten anything, and walked to the direction of the door again.

"You're in your pajamas." Samui looked down. She was in fact in sleepwear.

It was going to be a long day for Samui.

That afternoon

"Fuuu!"

"Fuuuu!"

"FU! Where the fuck are youuuuu?"

Naruto was wandering about the forestry that was just outside of Taki. When he was warped to Taki to spend time with Fu, Shibuki didn't know where she was. Apparently she got fed up with living inside the safety of the waterfall village a while ago, and moved to the surrounding forestry. Whenever she was needed for a mission, they just sent out a bird that she had trained to know her location, but other than that, she kept to herself, and they kept to themselves. Just how they liked it.

Although that had worked for them so far, the situation made it rather difficult for her loving husband to find her.

"I SWEAR TO FUCK FU! IF YOU DON'T COME OUT SOOOON, I'M GOING TO MURDER YOOOOU!" Naruto yelled out. He had been aimlessly wandering the forest for about 3 hours at that point, and was getting extremely impatient.

A brown, green, and red blur slammed Naruto into the nearest tree. It surprised him greatly, and knocked his breath out of his chest.

The blur turned out to be an ecstatic Fu, who was using Chomei's chakra cloak to enhance her glomping abilities.

She was nuzzling into his chest when Naruto remembered how to breathe properly. He grabbed her shoulders and pushed her off him to arm length.

He took in great gulps of oxygen and collected himself. "Hey Fu."

She beamed up at him. "Hey Naruto, I didn't know when you'd be coming to waterfall. But I'm so excited that you finally came!" she began to wiggle around in joy.

Naruto didn't really know what to make of the situation, Fu had always seemed slightly happy-go-lucky, but never to this point. "Hey, are you okay?" he said gently.

She began to smile at him again. "Yup, I'm better than okay, because I get to spend a week with my best friend!"

Being alone wasn't a concept that was new to her, but knowing that she had a friend out there that was coming to visit her at an unknown time had amped her personality up tenfold in waiting for said friend to arrive.

She grabbed his arm and dragged him up with her. "Come on, I've got to show you my little slice of paradise." She began to walk in the direction of her paradise, still cloaked in Chomei's chakra.

Naruto looked at the cloak with wary eyes. "What were you doing before you found me?" he asked.

Fu seemed to realize that she was still using Chomei's chakra, and quickly dispelled it. "Sorry" she said sheepishly. "I was practicing using her chakra when you showed up."

"Her?"

"Yeah, she's a girl you know."

This threw Naruto for a loop. "But I thought that all the bijuu didn't have any reproductive organs, so they identified with genderless beings."

This surprised Fu, and she looked off into space for a moment, still walking towards her living area.

Just as Naruto was about to comment, she looked back at him and said "Nope. She's a girl, she just told me."

Naruto was at a loss for words. "But the Kyuubi said…"

Fu continued "My seal is different than yours. It's called the 'glass jar' seal. It lets Chomei experience everything that I feel, so she eventually began to identify with being a female."

Made sense. "So is it just Chomei that identifies with being female?"

Fu shrugged. "I don't know. Sexual orientation is weird."

"I thought it was sexual affiliation."

"Maybe sexual identification."

This talk was all very confusing for his 13 year old mind. He sighed in defeat. "I don't think that I'll ever understand people, or how they think."

Fu frowned "But we all have to try. Or else we'll just miscommunicate, and misunderstand one another. Which could lead to conflict, and war. My sensei always said that."

That got really deep really fast. Naruto was silent, thinking about how miscommunication led to his and Samui's date, which turned into an utter fiasco.

"Yeah, I guess that we all just have to try and understand each oth-"

"We're here." Fu cut him off.

Naruto, although being annoyed at being cut off, still looked on at Fu's living set-up in slight wonder. There was a crystal clear pond in the middle of a copse of trees with sunlight peeking through the treetops, making the water's reflection glint in his eyes. Other than that, there was a fire pit that was surrounded by food stuffs, mostly gotten from the forest, but some others from the village. Along with a few bookshelves. Yes, bookshelves in the middle of a forest, which were overflowing with books.

"Welcome to my home."

It truly was a welcoming home. "Wow. You live here, all by yourself? With no help from the village?"

Fu was smiling in appreciation of his compliments. "Well, I have to get some stuff from the village about once a month, but other than that, I don't really go there anymore."

"Don't you get lonely?"

Fu's expression turned dismal. "Kind of, but I have my books. Whenever I read my books, it's just me, and I don't need anyone else."

That probably wasn't the right sort of thing to ask her, he realized. "Hey, at least you have me now." Naruto said, trying to cheer her up.

She looked back up and beamed at him once again. "That's right, and we're going to have lots of fun."

"Fun doing what?"

Fu's eyes became influenced by an evil looking glint. "Why training, of course, we have to get stronger. To protect each other. Remember?"

Naruto began to feel true fear at the look of evil in her eye/

Two hours later.

Naruto didn't like the training.

This 'training' mostly consisted of Naruto trying to go through the several notions of surviving in the forest by himself. Light his own fires, catch his own food, lay his own traps, etc.

Although it was complicated by the fact that whenever he made even the slightest error in setting up a trap, or not making his fire pit deep enough, Fu would fly down from the canopy to engage him in hand to hand combat.

Naruto, still not knowing the finer points in taijutsu, was merely only able to spam huge amounts of clones at her, and try to run away. In her Chomei induced state, the clones were trivial matters, and Naruto never got away from her.

Who knew that behind the smiling, multi-colored face of Fu, there lived a sadist? A sadist that Naruto feared greatly. A sadist that Naruto was married to

Chomei might have increased her speed and strength with her chakra, but Fu's real strong point was the fact that she knew how to counteract his strategies. Namely, she didn't let him make any. She had learned her lesson with a destabilized rasengan to the torso; that Naruto was an extremely effective on-the-spot thinker. But he could only think when there was a spot to think on.

At the present, a badly bruised up Naruto was out hunting rabbits. He had to be _very_ quiet, because rabbits are extremely sneaky.

He heard rustling in a bush to his right. Calculating where the rabbit was based on the position of the sound that it made, Naruto let a kunai fly in its direction. The first few kunai missed, but he was finally able to lodge a kunai deep in its chest, immediately killing it. Grabbing it by its ears, he prepared to make his way back to his camp.

Fu descended from the trees like a fallen angel, and proceeded to try and beat the tar out of Naruto. Her movements were easy to track, but he was never quite able to react in time. Throughout the two hours that Naruto had been going through the 'training', she had always engaged him in the same way, and always fought in the same way.

"What did I… do this time?" Naruto complained. He ducked under a jab for his face, and dodged a knee to his face, only to have to dodge the elbow to his face. He was starting to get pretty good at dodging things aimed at his face.

"You forgot to pick up the other kunai you threw. Enemy shinobi might have found those, and tracked you back to your campsite." She parried a blow to her chest, and kicked his legs out from under him. Then proceeded to stomp on his chest.

Call it tough love.

Her footing poofed out from under her as the Naruto she stomped on turned into smoke and disappeared. She looked around her for the real one, and averted her gaze upwards in time to find her vision blocked the foot connecting with her head. Backing up, and covering her face, she was repeatedly hit in the arms and torso while her vision was clouded. Fu wised up, flew up to the nearest tree, and stuck on.

"How did you make that shadow clone? I always had my eyes on you, and you never made a substitution." She said, clearing away the fog in her eyes.

"It was always my clone. Didn't you notice that he focused on parrying or dodging your blows and not getting dispelled?" Naruto called up to her.

She groaned. "Naruto, the meaning of this exercise is to make sure that you can survive out in the woods like a proper shinobi, without leaving any trace behind."

"Then why do you beat the shit out of me whenever I get it wrong?"

"Negative reinforcement. It'll get branded into your head faster this way." With that, she disappeared into the treetops once again.

Naruto groaned. He knew that she was doing this mostly for his own good, but he didn't think that she would be so ready and willing to put him through the amount of physical abuse that he was experiencing.

Naruto went out and picked up all the kunai that he threw. Even with all the major nations in a pact to no longer kill each other, there would always be out-laws and missing-nin. This exercise was valuable, even if he had to be put through the grinder.

After he picked up all the kunai, he made his way back to his camp, making sure to not leave any trace of him being there at all. With the rabbit securely in hand, he had all the vital things needed to survive for a day in the wilderness. So he resolved to wait out the rest of the day in silence. Even if waiting wasn't his strong suit.

Back at the campsite, he found a Fu without bijuu chakra sitting at his fire pit, looking deep into the smoldering embers.

Naruto took the development in stride. "Don't look into the fire for too long, you'll burn your eyes out." It was mostly a wives' tale, but it did have some merit to it.

She didn't comment on his statement. So he just sat beside her. It was starting to get dark.

After some more moments of silence, she finally said "You pass for now, let's get back to my campsite."

Was she acting weird? She seemed impersonal all throughout the exercise.

Naruto knew that he had to jump on this. He learned his lesson from the situation with Samui. Always question and obtain information that could be extrapolated incorrectly.

While they were walking back, he asked "Did I do anything wrong?"

She seemed confused by the question "Well you set up the traps incorrectly, didn't make the fire pit deep enough-"

"No, not that. Did I do anything… to offend you?" Naruto asked, searching for the right words.

She quickly put a smiling veneer, and said "No no, of course not. I just didn't really like hitting you. I thought that you might not like me as much…"

"That's crazy. I know that you're only doing this to train me. Don't worry, I'll always be your friend. Believe it." Naruto said, smiling at her. That smile made little butterflies fly around in her stomach. It made all the fears, and self-questioning disappear. It made all the-

"**Little larvae…"**

Damnit. 'Yes Chomei."

"**I felt what you felt. Don't take your anger of the world out on him."**

'I'm not, I'm just training him for his own good.'

"**Regardless. I'm restricting you of my chakra."**

'What? No. I need that chakra to train him better.'

"**You don't get my chakra until you can get a better control of your emotions than you have now."**

'But I don't get off on causing him pain.'

"**Him specifically?"**

Fu decided not to answer. 'He's my best friend. I only do what's good for him.'

"**Then do what's good for him."**

'I am. Training.'

"**Both you and I know that you're using this **_**training**_** as an excuse to let out some steam. It doesn't matter if it makes him a better shinobi or not, you're using this to inflict bodily harm against another human because you grew up angry and alone. I felt the strength that you used in that stomp, you would have broken his ribs if he wasn't a clone"**

The mention of her childhood made her immediately irritable 'Shut up. You don't know anything.'

"**I've been with you since you were born. I've felt everything you felt. If I don't know anything, then you're in the same boat."**

'Then you know that I wouldn't do anything to hurt him. Sans training'

"**Wrong, you wouldn't do anything that might hurt your relationship with him, and you take advantage of the fact that he's so forgiving to take out your frustration on him."**

Fu didn't say anything else. And spent the rest of the trip to her 'paradise' in silence.

Naruto knew that the blank look and automatous body movements signified her talking to Chomei, so he decided not to interrupt her while she was in that state.

Fu's 'paradise' several hours later.

Naruto was noticeably shivering. The night was cold, and he didn't pack a sleeping bag. At least most of his bruising had disappeared by then.

Fu decided to unravel her sleeping bag and get inside. She thought that Naruto would do the same, not knowing that he didn't have one.

"No way." Naruto did not believe what he was seeing.

The shape of her sleeping bag was that of a bug larvae, complete with dot patterns, and different segments puffing out at uniform places to mimic the segments of the infant bug.

"What?" Fu asked, sitting up. Her face was peeking out where the mouth would have gone.

"That is just… so cute." It really was, but more in like a puppy dog cute, or a small child cute.

"W-What?" Fu's blush didn't show up on one side of face very much, due to her dark skin. But the other side, which was paler due to it being synthesized skin, had turned crimson at the unexpected compliment.

"No, I mean that you just look… cute. Like a puppy or something." Naruto quickly reiterated sheepishly.

She turned her head to the side and muttered out "Thanks."

"Eh. Don't worry about it. Do you have any other sleeping bags?" Naruto asked.

She rose an eyebrow. "Why would I have more than one sleeping bag?"

"In case you were expecting company."

"Well what kind of company would I ever expect?"

"Oh… I don't know. Maybe your husband?" Naruto asked in a playfully sarcastic tone.

"Wha-? But didn't you bring one?"

"I wasn't expecting to be sleeping in the wilderness."

If he was going to sleep that night, he was going to need warmth. He couldn't sleep by the fire. It was dug into a hole, which directed all the light and heat upwards. Although it was good for heat when one wanted to sit by it, he would have to sleep unsafely close to the fire for any hope of warmth, and there was the risk of accidentally rolling inside when he was asleep.

Fu didn't know what to do at that point. She probably should have anticipated that he wouldn't have a sleeping bad, and would need some sort of warming apparatus. But it was too late to go into the village to buy another one, and if he was going to sleep, he would need a safe source of heat.

"Since you don't have another sleeping bag, can I sleep in yours?" Naruto asked.

Well this was unexpected. Fu had never thought that Naruto would be selfish enough to ask that he use her sleeping bag, and expect Fu to fend for herself. It probably would have more sense for her to give up the sleeping bag voluntarily, which would have been the right thing to do, because admittedly, she messed up by not anticipating that he wouldn't have a sleeping bag.

She began to dismally get out of her sleeping bag, she had had it for years, and she found it extremely comfortably. So she was reluctant to get out of for even the night.

"What are you doing?" Naruto asked.

"Giving you my sleeping bag." Fu said with a tone of acceptance.

"…Why?"

This question drew her ire. "Because you just asked to sleep in it!"

"What? Oh no… I meant that I'd sleep with, you know, you." Naruto said nervously. He had gotten used to sleeping with a partner from his time with Yugito, and had forgotten that others might not be as comfortable with the idea as him. Seeing Fu's reaction, he realized that she probably wasn't comfortable sharing a sleeping area, and quickly said "If you don't want to, I've got a few sets of spare clothes that I could probably get into…"

"No… no, it's fine. We can sleep together." Fu hadn't slept in the same bed as anyone before, but knew that if it was only sleeping, she could probably handle it.

She got back into her sleeping bag and unzipped it. Naruto got out of his track pants, leaving him only in his boxers and t-shirt. His jacket was still being used by Yugito as part of a hugging pillow, so he didn't have that with him.

She shuffled to the side of the sleeping bag, allowing him to lay down on the other side. After that, she zipped it up almost all the way, allowing some room so they could both breathe.

The sleeping bag was rather large on the inside, allowing them to both lay side by side in a uniform fashion. However, the human body was never meant to sleep in that position. Since Naruto didn't know if Fu would be comfortable with snuggling, he turned around and faced away from her, pressing his back into her side. She did the same, and it was still slightly uncomfortable for both of them, but neither wanted to bring up the prospect of snuggling.

After they were both painfully awake for about half an hour, Fu finally whispered "Hey Naruto…"

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Do you want to… snuggle." She barely breathed out the last word, but it was loud enough for Naruto to hear. She knew that they probably weren't going to get any shut-eye in the position that they were in, so she quickly surmised that snuggling would probably be the best thing to do in the situation.

"Errr. Yeah, sure. Do you want to be the big spoon or the little spoon?" he asked. He was always the little spoon when he slept with Yugito, due to his smaller stature. But while he was shorter than Fu by a few inches, the difference in stature was not as great, and thus gave him more options.

She hadn't thought that far into the theoretical dialogue. "Uhhm. Little spoon, I guess." Little spoon seemed like the easiest to pull off.

Most of the times that he slept with Yugito, she completely encircled him, but she did once spoon him normally, with one arm draped over him, and her laying on her other arm.

So he rolled over, and draped his arm around her, allowing for more movement room in the sleeping bag due to the compressing of the items inside of it.

Fu's face felt steamy. Although the position was comfortable for her, she still felt a little embarrassed by being so close to Naruto. He didn't seem to mind though, so that reassured her of the fact that they were only snuggling for the benefit of sleep.

"Hey Naruto…"

"Mm." Naruto grunted. That made Fu extremely aware of how close he was to her.

"… I'm sorry." She whispered.

"For what?" he asked sleepily.

"When we were doing the survival exercise… I went overboard in trying to hurt you."

Naruto didn't miss a beat. "It's fine Fu. I heal fast."

Fu wasn't convinced. "No it's not. I wasn't trying to injure you, I was trying to hurt you."

This comment threw him for a loop. "So… you're like what, a sadist?" Naruto commented in a flat voice. Although he felt like the training was a bit harsh, he didn't think that she was doing it because she got amusement from it.

She buried her face in her hands. "No, it's just… I can't… I don't know why."

He nuzzled his face into her neck. Whenever he was stressed out, like with Samui-date incident, Yugito would do that to him in bed and he would feel slightly better. So he tried emulating that with Fu. "Fu… so long as you have me to call a friend. I'll always be here for you." He got the feeling that Fu was feeling self-conscious, and needed something calming to help her out.

She felt embarrassed by the neck-nuzzling, but didn't really mind it. Tears begin to sting her eyes. "Thanks."

He continued to nuzzle into her neck. "Fu. You're one my precious people, I will always fight to get stronger for you, because I treasure my precious people. If you ever need anyone to talk to, I'll be there for you."

He had to get regular psyche checks when he was a kid. Naruto didn't know why he had to get so many at the time, but later likened it to the fact that he was a Jinchuuriki. With all the psyche checks, he and the therapist didn't have much to talk about after a few appointments, so he told little Naruto the basics of psychology. Extreme basics, mind you, but enough so that Naruto knew what to say to someone who didn't have anyone in the entirety of her life. Well maybe her sensei, but he didn't know what their relationship was.

She snuggled into his embrace, and they stayed like that for the rest of the night and into late morning.

It was the best night's sleep that she had gotten in a while.

The next morning.

"Awaaaa." Fu yawned cutely.

She was still in Naruto's embrace, who was sleeping soundly next to her. She hadn't woken up feeling this complete in a very long time. She knew that there was someone in the world who liked her, and would do his best to make sure that they would always stay together. She had convicted herself to the cause of protecting and staying with him as well.

Fu noticed that there was something hard pressing against her lower back. 'Did he bring a kunai with him to the sleeping bag?'

After thinking about when he could have brought a kunai with him to bed, and or why he would do that, realization dawned upon her.

There was no kunai pressed against her back.

Quietly deciding not to freak out, she slowly unzipped the sleeping bag, making great efforts not to wake him up, or face the consequence of an extremely awkward morning dialogue. After she had the bag unzipped enough, she slowly unwrapped his arm from around her waist, and slowly got up.

Slowly.

She didn't know how heavy a sleeper he was, so she decided not to push her luck.

Fu stood up in the air, and stretched her tired limbs.

She couldn't look.

She was incapable of looking.

If she looked, she would be considered a pervert.

By who?

No one. Because there were only two people there, and one was asleep.

But it's gross.

How is it gross? It's a reproductive organ that's used to create life. It's not gross.

But it's violating his privacy.

What privacy? She's married to him, she was bound to find out what it looked like sooner or later.

She conceded to one of the voices of reason in her mind.

She looked.

Without her to cuddle on he had fallen on his back, exposing his front-facing body to all the world. What interested her eyes the most would be the penis that was hanging out of his boxer slot.

It was the first penis that she had ever seen, and it was semi-erect too. How it fell out of the slot was a mystery to her.

Back at the academy, the teachers had shown diagrams and medical pictures for sex education, but this was the first real penis that she had ever seen in her entire life.

She stared at it for a lot longer than she should have.

Wait. His penis was hanging out of his boxer slot, and he's spread eagle alone in the sleeping bag, which had been unzipped.

If he awoke at that point, he would have made assumptions. Assumptions that Fu would have no way of disproving.

Trepidatiously, she walked nearer to him, and closer to the offending appendage.

Just tuck it in. That's all she had to do. That's all she had to do to avoid the awkward situation between them if he woke up and his dick was hanging out of his underwear.

Mentally preparing herself, she reached over and pinched the top of his boxers, and lifted them up. After that, she brought her other hand, and pinched the head of his penis, intending to tuck it into the slot, and be done with the situation.

And she would have done just that, if he hadn't groaned half-way through. Well it wasn't a groan, more like a moan. This freaked Fu out to the point where she almost lost all motor control, which would have been very bad to his future of theoretically producing offspring. Luckily she caught herself before she could do that, and finished tucking in his member into his boxers.

She stood up, and walked over to the pond to wash her hands off.

Right before she could do that, a voice rang off inside her head. It was the voice of curiosity.

She brought the hand that had touched his penis up to her nose, and gave an experimental sniff.

It smelled musky, and made her head go light for a second. Fu immediately withdrew her hand from her nose, submerged it into the water, and scrubbed it furiously.

Pheromones. There had also been a day spent on different airborne toxins, and how to avoid them in combat. Pheromones had been just a sub-category, so she didn't know the exact science, but she knew that pheromones were either passed through physical contact, or airborne particles, and increased the attraction between two people.

What she didn't know was that the production and potency of pheromones were influenced by the amount of confidence and lack of fear that one felt. Which is why it is often said that women are attracted to men with confidence. Naruto had over-confidence in spades, and was practically fearless, not mentioning the supernatural.

Although she wasn't a slave to her body and hormones, and didn't feel attraction to him that way… she _had_ just taken in a lot of extremely potent pheromones directly from a male sex organ.

Naruto started to get up. Fu made a point of not looking at him. After she heard him stretch out a bit, she heard him scrambling to get his pants on, which he had tossed aside the night before, and left in the opposite direction of where she was. The sound of him urinating from afar hit her eardrums.

Once he was done, he made his way to Fu. "What's for breakfast?" he asked.

She didn't answer, and couldn't move her head to look at him in the eyes, which had a little to do with the major blush she was sporting. Naruto didn't take the silence as a good sign, and sat down beside her at the edge of the pond.

"Look, if you're still self-conscious about what happened yesterday, that's okay. I'll still be here by your side, no matter what you do to me."

Although he meant it as a comforting gesture to show how she was no longer alone in the world, perhaps he shouldn't have phrased it that way, because it caused Fu to reach maximum blush.

We all know what happens when someone reaches maximum blush.

Pulling a classic Hinata, she fainted. Into the pond

Naruto reacted quickly, and pulled her out of the body of water as fast as he could. The water was cold, and by the time he had her out of the water, she was wet and shivering.

Naruto groaned 'Does this happen with every chick in the world?' he meant females getting soaked in their clothing, and making him push down all his pervert senses to unclothe them without looking.

Deciding to use some of his t-shirts to dry her off, he looked away, and undressed her. She only had a clasp-on white top, and a zip-up skirt as major clothing, so getting her out of her wet clothes had been easy. But he also got some of his other cloth sets out, and redressed her in those, as he didn't know where any of her spare sets of clothes were, and he didn't want another Yugito situation.

Once she was dried off, and in some fresh clothes, he put her back into the sleeping bag for warmth.

Well. She was out like a light. There would be no training with her at that point.

Naruto walked well away from her sleeping body, and took out his sword to practice his kenjutsu katas. After about 5 minutes or so of kenjutsu exercise, he tentatively sent out a mental 'Hello?'

Ever since he saw Fu mentally speak to Chomei, he decided that he wanted to try that as well with the Kyuubi. But he didn't get any sort of a response.

'Hello?' he said a bit more assertively in his head.

Still not receiving a response, he mentally cried out 'HELLO?'

Naruto decided that hearing demonic grumbling from in his head a really weird feeling. **"What. The. Fuck. Do. You. Want?"** Kurama went through great lengths at signifying its displeasure at being mentally screamed at by punctuating each word individually.

'Why didn't you say that we can talk mentally?'

"**We always talk mentally."** Kurama grumbled, preluding to the fact that talking in the mindscape is considered mentally communicating.

'Okay… Why didn't you say that we can talk without me having to enter my mindscape?'

"**Why would I ever want to talk anyone on a regular basis?"**

'So you can socialize.' Naruto said cheekily.

Kurama grumbled out again. It was in a grumbling mood at that point. **"What do you want?"** it asked once again.

'Don't you want to hear about my escapades since I talked to you at the Valley of the End?'

"**Not particularly."**

And thus, he began regaling all the interactions and events that took place since his and Sasuke's fight. It might not have been the most wanted of things by Kurama. But Naruto was going to get the brute to open up damnit.

"**Chomei's a female now? How does that work? It shouldn't have any sexual organs."**

'_She_ doesn't have any sexual organs. Fu said that since she's in a 'glass jar' seal, Chomei can feel anything that Fu feels, so she just started to feel like a girl I guess.'

"**But still… **_**She's**_** been asexual in gender orientation since she was born. Hundreds of years ago. How does she up and suddenly decide that she's female now?" **the Kyuubi paused for a second. **"Whatever. I honestly couldn't give two shits."**

'So you _do_ at least give one shit.' Naruto thought out in an accusing tone.

Kurama made a noise that signified frustration. **"Congratulations fuckwit. You verbally outmaneuvered a being of chakra that hasn't talked to anyone extensively for hundreds of years. You want a pat on the back? A fucking cookie?"**

'Someone's in a bad mood.'

"**I am a being of malice. A being of pure hatred. I do not talk when I do not need to get a point across. I am not in a bad mood. I am a bad mood. I hate you. No. I loathe you. You say that you will get stronger for your 'precious people', but in the end, you'll always come crawling back to me for **_**my**_** power! Like that Sasuke kid that you always ramble on endlessly about. You think that you can protect anyone? Guess what kid? People fucking die. They die for other people. They die for stupid reasons. And they die for you. What are you going to do when one of your 'precious people' decide that their lives are worth less than yours?"**

Naruto was silent for a little bit. He laid down his katana, and squatted into the lotus position, preparing to enter the mindscape.

As he walked up to the cage the held the Kyuubi at bay, he noticed that the Kyuubi was sitting instead of squatting or laying down like it normally did.

"… Who died?" Naruto asked quietly.

"**What did you say?"** the voice of the Kyuubi boomed out far louder than it did while in his head

"Someone close to you died. Who was it?"

"**Who the fuck do you think? My dad. My **_**creator**_**. The sage of the six paths." **The Kyuubi was paused to collect its thoughts, then continued. **"Want to know the thing that I hate most about you? It's not the fact that you walk around and smile like a dumbass, even though you feel such utter contempt to the people around you. It's not the fact your dad sealed me into you for reasons that I can't be held accountable for. It's not even the fact that you are the most annoying thing that has ever become known to me. No. It's your naivety. You think that you will rise above hatred, extinguish it, protect the people that you love, and uphold the bonds between other people. But you can't. No one can. Eventually someone is going to do something that you will hate them for doing, and you'll come to me for power to destroy them. Eventually the people that you love are going to die. Eventually you are going to make bonds with other people that they will only wish to cut. But you continue to believe that you're better than that. Well guess what? I've talked to your hatred. Your true self. He tells me what you really think, and I like him so much more than you, because he knows that you'll fail to reach the conclusion that you hope for. Deep down, you know that you're naïve, but you don't do anything to try to change that."**

Naruto stood in silence, with his head lowered to the ground. Then he rose his head up high, and stared at the face of hatred with the utmost conviction present in his eyes.

"You know what Mr. Being of Pure Hatred? Someday, I'm going to get rid of all that nasty hate bottled up all inside you. And I know that what will stand in your place, will be something more beautiful than anything that has existed in the world."

Saying what he direly needed to say to Kurama, he quickly exited the mindscape, allowing for the Kyuubi to sink back down into a sleeping position. **'Stupid brat.'**

When he blearily opened his eyes up, Fu was already conscious and doing stretches. "You woke up quick." Naruto said, interrupting her movements.

She looked back with a sheepish expression on her face. "Err yeah, I guess. Did you… undress me?" Fu asked rhetorically. Knowing that she fainted while in her clothes, and woke up while in his. It didn't take much sleuthing skills to figure that one out.

Naruto blushed slightly and threw up his hands. "Yes. But don't worry, I didn't look. I'm not a pervert. I swear."

Fu had seen him lie before, he definitely didn't act like that when he lied. Knowing that when she was naked that Naruto refused to look at her nude form made her feel bad for looking at him while he was indecent.

'I knew that I shouldn't have looked… but if I didn't look, Naruto would have woken up with his penis hanging out of his boxers, and he might have made conclusions… or he might not have. He could have just assumed that it slipped out like it really did.' With the information that Naruto wouldn't do anything even remotely perverted to her, even when she was knocked out and naked, made her feel simultaneously good and bad. Good that she didn't have to keep her guard up at all times. Bad that she took advantage of him while _he_ was knocked out and indecent.

"Do you have any other sets of clothes? I couldn't find any." Naruto asked.

She snapped out of her reverie. "Err. No. bath day and laundry day are the same day."

This shocked Naruto. "But what if they get ruined?"

"They're really durable. They survived an explosion even when my skin got blasted off." She said this with a confident smile, which really freaked Naruto out, mostly since she mentioned how she practically got flayed, and didn't even bat an eye. She began to walk over to her clothes, to hang them up to dry on a tree.

"So what's for breakfast?" Naruto asked his original question.

"Wanna cook up some rabbits for us?" She said distractedly.

Naruto knew how to follow simple instructions on a book to cook a chicken, or boil some noodles. But he didn't know how to cook meat without a stove or instructions. Whenever he was on an away mission, he mostly ate prepackaged rations and let his team cook the meat whenever the rations ran out.

Well, Fu seemed to have a lot of food that was preserved. If he failed, then he could just try again.

The fire was little more than smoldering embers, so he put some wood on it and waited for the flames to fan. After that, he skewered some rabbits and set them just touching the flames. Having seen what his teammates do, he tried to emulate that.

By the time that Fu was finally done with her morning routine, which consisted of doing he stretches, brushing her teeth, and vocal exercises, Naruto had managed to burn several rabbits, and was slow cooking two of the latest ones at the same time. Noticing her walking up to him and the pile of burnt rabbits, before she could say anything, he said "I know it looks bad. But I have a good feeling about these."

She giggled and sat down. "You can't just instantly make cooked rabbits, you have to be patient with them."

He gestured to the pile of burnt rabbits by his side, "I've got that figured out." He said humorously.

She raised her arms up. "Just making sure."

They sat that way for a few minutes, watching the meat cook. Fu occasionally remarked on when to move or flip the rabbits. "So what's happening today?" Naruto asked.

Fu sat in thought for a while. "Well I thought that we could do some more survival training." Naruto blanched. "But now that I know that you're practicing swordsmanship, I know that we absolutely have to spar with those. We should also head into the village for another sleeping bag for you at some point. After that… maybe some more taijutsu."

Naruto picked up the rabbits that were cooked to perfection. "Sounds perfect." He handed one to Fu, and took a bite out the other that he was holding.

Fu was good with swords. This wasn't a swordsmanship that was borne out of rigorous practicing of different kata's, this was swordsmanship borne from experience. Or at least sparring with a man who learned from experience, her sensei.

There was also the fact that she was using a water sword. Usually the water sword was only used to catch the enemy off guard, extend the length of a kunai's effectiveness, or to allow one to always hold onto a sword without actually having a sword. It wasn't as sharp, but it still was extremely lethal, and if the user was skilled enough, it could be extended slightly, mid-use.

Naruto's education with kenjutsu so far stemmed from drilling with the sword's different slashes, blocks, and parries for about a week. He also sparred with Omoi, Karui, and Samui at regular intervals, and was getting good at using the kata movements in actual combat.

Wisdom before knowledge was being demonstrated in the sparring session that they were having. Although Naruto sometimes was able to see an opening in her guard, and went to attack, he more often than not received a small cut somewhere on his body for his troubles. Other than that, he spent the rest of the spar parrying and blocking her strikes. Also, because she learned how to attack mostly from experience, she wasn't very predictable in her movements.

The spar ended with a cut up Naruto, and a heavily breathing Fu. His cuts were already healing due to Kyuubi's chakra. The reason for his strong healing rate happened because Minato used a seal that would continually leak minute amounts of the Kyuubi's own chakra into his chakra system, giving a significant boost in healing. Unlike Fu, or Yugito, which was why they still were still visibly scarred. Whereas the stamina came from him being an Uzumaki, who were said to have such an unbalanced chakra system in that they had a huge amount of physical chakra, that they lived significantly longer than most, and were given energy in spades.

"For only a week of training, you're really good." Fu complimented, still breathing hard.

"Thanks Fu." Naruto said distractedly, still holding onto a largish cut on his arm, which was in the process of being closed.

After he was sure that all the cuts were sufficiently done bleeding, he went over to the pond, stripped to his underwear and jumped in to clean the remnants of his blood off his body.

Deciding that he had the right idea, Fu stripped off the clothes that Naruto gave her, and jumped in with him, wearing only her mesh top and bottom. Her splash got him in the face and mouth, temporarily blinding him.

After spluttering all the water from his mouth, and wiping his eyes, he looked at Fu, and promptly looked away again. "Fu. Why did you jump in here too? I barely touched you."

"Well I got really sweaty, and the water looked really refreshing. So I jumped in too." She said simply.

"Okay… but…" the mesh top and bottom were woven closely enough that there were no important bits showing through, but it did hug her body in a way that attracted Naruto's gaze downwards.

Noticing his gaze, she covered her already covered chest with her arms, and huffed. "I thought that you weren't a perv." She accused, and turned to the side.

To Naruto's credit, there's a big difference between consciously preparing beforehand and choosing not to look, and being caught off guard and looking subconsciously. He immediately looked at her eyes, and started spluttering out apologies. After she decided that she was amused enough, she said "It's fine, let's just get cleaned up, and head to Taki for a sleeping bag."

Naruto just nodded and turned around to rub himself down of blood. Fu did the same, but only with sweat.

After she felt like she was clean enough, she lazily floated up on the surface of the water and closed her eyes in relaxation. Once Naruto did the same with his own body cleanliness, he emulated Fu's movements, and floated on the surface as well.

After a moment of silence, he announced "I like this."

Fu didn't open her eyes, but still responded. "What do you like?"

"I… I just like… this. I guess. I mean this situation."

"Being married against your will to people that you don't know?" she responded playfully.

"Well there's that. But still, if we weren't married, we wouldn't have met. I wouldn't be able to train around the continents with some of the best teachers there are. I wouldn't have nearly as many precious people as I do now."

She floated around in silence for a bit. "Hmm. I like this too." She gave out a singular huff of laughter. "I actually like this a lot."

She raised herself from her float session, and Naruto followed suit. She looked to the side and blushed slightly. "Look… I don't know if you were told… but when we get older, we might have to… you know… have kids."

Naruto blushed as well. "Err. Yeah. I guess."

"Well… I know that things change all the time, and people have to cope with changes, but I always want to be friends with you. No matter what happens between us." She said in a shaky voice. Shibuki had told her about the possibilities of the production of a child happening in the future, and while she didn't have a good grasp on friendship actually happening to her, she had read enough books to know that when major things happen between friends, they often times go their separate ways, or at least stop liking each other.

Despite how friendly, happy, or collected she appeared at times on the outside, she was actually really a scared, nervous wreck on the inside. She was a person who was constantly doubting herself and was always seeking self-validation due to her insecurities. Fu was subject to many insecurities.

Taking pleasure in causing others pain confused and frustrated her to no end.

She didn't know what the future held for her, and that was terrifying to her.

Fu was scared that she wasn't worth much a shinobi when compared to others like Yugito.

And to top it all off, she recently went through an extremely visible physical deformity.

Naruto was able to sense all the insecurity that emanated from her sentence. He swam up to her, and placed a hand on her shoulder. She still looked away from him. So he put a hand on her chin, and forced her head to his direction. "I don't really know about any of that stuff. But I know that I always want to be friends with you."

At least she was able to place one thing on her anti-insecurity list, or just security list.

Naruto.

She looked at him and smiled as wide as she could. Naruto blushed and swam to the edge of the pond to get ready for their traipse into Taki. "Come on. We should probably get going to get that sleeping bag."

Fu nodded and swam over as well.

In the village hidden in the waterfalls.

The sound of vigorous slurping was being heard from a ramen restaurant that was situated amongst the residential district. The cause of this was due to the two Jinchuuriki situated there, eating food as rapidly as they could.

"I love… ramen… so much." Naruto said, in between slurps.

"I know… right?" Fu said in between her own slurps.

They had been on the way to a store that sold survival and camping gear when Naruto had been distracted by a large neon sign that bespoke of wondrous ramen within its walls.

They had been there for little over 15 minutes, constantly in a state of eating the heavenly noodles that was situated inside. The chef that had served them could almost never meet their gaze, and whenever he did, there was a look of… not confusion, more like indecision, or confliction within his eyes.

Fu wasn't used to being looked at like that, but she didn't mind so long as she was actually served. It appeared that being subjugated to a marriage that promised no more war for the village for as long the treaty lasted, at the very least got her the privileges to eat some good restaurant food.

Kumo didn't have any ramen stands that were any good, so Naruto went without for his entire stay at Kumo. This was his first ramen oriented outing for several weeks, and he was enjoying it. There was already a growing stack of ramen bowls in between the two, as they furiously consumed bowl after bowl of the food.

There were few words traded between them as they ate, and were completely out of it. So they didn't hear when the door rung out, signifying new customers. "Fu? Is that you Fu?"

Fu swung her head to meet the voice as quickly as she could. There were still noodles hanging out of her mouth, so she splattered the ground with the fine broth. She was looking at a non-descript, average looking, brown haired teenage girl; and a nondescript teenage boy wearing glasses. They both looked around the same age as Fu.

As soon as she laid eyes on the two, her orange eyes dulled in enthusiasm, and she adopted a sullen looking expression. They ran up to her and sat down beside them at the booth, so Naruto was hanging out at the end, with both of them focused on Fu.

Both of the two average looking teenagers seemed ecstatic at the prospect of talking to Fu. "We haven't seen you in ages!" the girl said with exuberance "Where have you been all this time?"

"The woods." Fu said in a clipped response.

"What've you been up to?" the boy asked.

"Training."

"Well… have you been doing anything interesting lately?" Both of them were acting like they were lifelong childhood friends of hers, but her demeanor around them spoke otherwise.

"Got married."

"Congratulations!" The boy said in joviality. The two unknowns started laughing good-naturedly at his joke.

Naruto decided to join in the conversation. "Hello?" he said tentatively.

Both of their eyes lit up in recognition. "You must be the guy!" the male said.

"You're Naruto Uzumaki, right? You saved Taki from those jonin! Thank you so much by the way." The girl said with a grand smile on her face.

Naruto smiled back, and scratched the back of his head. "Don't worry about it. I do stuff like that all the time." he boasted.

All four of them sat in awkward silence until Fu sighed and decided to introduce them to each other. "Naruto, this is Takkana." she gestured to the girl "and Fujitsu." She gestured to the boy.

They both greeted him amiably. Naruto, Takkana, and Fujitsu talked together about various things for a while, with Fu sitting awkwardly in the middle. Naruto tried to bring Fu into the conversation, but she didn't seem to try, which made it really difficult for him. From the discussion, he was able to get that Takkana, Fu, and Fujitsu all were in the academy together and that they were about to be teammates together until their parents had them forcefully removed from the team, leaving Fu by herself with her sensei.

After it looked like she had enough of the conversation, she abruptly sat up from her chair, and walked straight out of the restaurant. Not expecting this to happen, he quickly fished his wallet out of his pocket, and paid for both of their meals with the leftover Kumo Kash. After apologizing to both of them, he ran after her, just in time to see her disappear into a pool of water that led to the cave that the waterfall was behind.

Quickly dashing to it, he dived in after her. The currents were strong, and Naruto didn't have to do much in terms of actually swimming, but from the blur of red chakra that was just out of his blurred vision, he could tell the catching up to her would be an ordeal.

Once he was safely out of the water tunnel, he ran after her out of the waterfall, and into the forest. Naruto lost sight of her the moment she hit the tree line, and would have gotten hopelessly lost looking for their campsite if not for the trail of broken branches that spoke of a very irritated Fu flying away on branch level

After some more running, he finally met the end of the broken branches, and walked trepidatiously further, only to be temporarily blinded by something that was out of his vision, and deafened by a resounding explosion that was produced by the thing that blinded him.

There was a terrible wailing that resounded throughout the clearing. It wasn't a sad wail, it was a mad wail. A scream of pain and agony and anguish and unspeakable hatred. Fu breathed out some more light reflecting dust, and ignited it, destroying a defenseless tree to kindling. She screamed out again.

Naruto took in the clearing that she was destroying. It held scars as signs that the destruction that it was suffering had happened more than once before. But what scared Naruto the most was Fu herself, or what little of herself that was left.

She was embraced by a viscous scarlet shroud that hugged her body tightly. There were four wings sprouting from her distended back along with a thin tail that hung off from her tailbone. Fu didn't have any facial features other than her whited out eyes and mouth.

"FU!" Naruto screamed out in concern. The being stopped suddenly, and slowly turned its gaze towards him instead of the trees that were being destroyed.

He didn't feel like he was looking at Fu anymore. So he slowly unsheathed his sword in preparation for the fight that he felt was about to take place.

When she attacked, he didn't even have time to react. Using her wings as powerful engines that were capable of achieving huge velocities at the drop of a dime, she slammed into Naruto before he could ever raise his sword to block her.

He was rammed into a tree, which splintered on impact. She squeezed painfully onto his body, and he could see stars begin to swim in his eyes from the whiplash and lack of oxygen reaching his brain.

Gasping for air, he began to furiously struggle against her, but to no avail. Her hatred was far stronger than his fear. Not letting go for even a second, he was pinned to the tree with limited oxygen. Naruto's chest didn't feel healthy in the slightest, there was a pain in his torso that could only mean a broken bone, or several broken bones. He was delirious, and frankly, at that point quite surprised that he was still not dead.

He looked down on her shrouded form. She was still hugging him painfully to the tree, but other than that, she hadn't moved in the slightest. "Fu…" he whispered out, before his conscious left him.

He woke up with a de-powered Fu screaming over his broken body. The sound resonated painfully in his eardrums, and reverberated throughout the entire forest.

"WHYYYY?! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO PUT UP FAKE FUCKING S-hu-S-hu-SMILES?!" she sometimes lost her ability to speak as her body unconsciously froze her philippic to intake minimal amounts of air. She was screaming in anger as well as sadness. It was like she was screaming as loudly as she could while still somehow crying at the same time.

"I FUCKING HATE YOU FUCKS!" Naruto was still out of it. He didn't know what was going on, or why Fu was screaming and crying. And he most certainly didn't know how or why Fu went beast-mode on him.

He tried to raise a hand out to her, but the pain was too much, and he failed midway through. This at least was capable of gaining Fu's attention again, before he succumbed to unconsciousness once more.

This time when he woke up, they were both at the main campsite, with Fu quietly poking at the fire and him resting in the sleeping bag. He tried to talk, but found his throat too dry to continue. The croaking that he did make allowed for Fu to notice his consciousness, and she hastily got some drinkable water. Once she came back and hand-fed Naruto water, he finally sat up while in extreme amounts of pain. Letting him raise himself, she backed off and allowed for him to prop himself into sitting position. The fire was the only source of light in the clearing, as it was evening at that point.

"What was that about?" he asked with severity. She flinched at his tone, and looked away. From the firelight, he was able to make out the faint outlines of tear trails on her face.

"I… I… I went to blow off some steam… but then you followed me. And I couldn't control it like I could the other times, and I blacked out. When I came to, I was holding you to a tree… You had a few broken ribs, and your pulse was weak. I was just… I was just so angry. I _am_ so angry. I'm always so angry." She was on the verge of tears again. "After that, I carried you back here so you could get better. It looks like the Kyuubi's chakra set your ribs, but you still – you still shouldn't move around so much."

Tears began to stream out of her eyes like miniature waterfalls. It truly astonished him how much water her big orange eyes could hold. Naruto leaned forward, even though it pained him a lot to do so, and put his hand on her knee for support. She looked down at him, expecting Naruto to look up at her with hate, or disgust, or fear, or contempt. But was met with his slightly pained eyes barely holding back tears of pain, while he smiled as hard as he could, even though it hurt him as he did it. "Don't worry Fu. It's okay. I'm not mad."

She looked down at him with the most astonished face that she could conjure up. She stayed that way until she smiled too, and started laughing and sobbing at the same time. Fu leaned forward onto him gently, and carefully placed her arms around his back. "Thanks. I'm… I'm so sorry… you wouldn't ever be able to comprehend how sorry I am." She whispered in his ear.

Naruto laid back down onto the soft sleeping bag, with Fu coming down with him as well. He laid down on her torso, and they both reclined against a log that the sleeping bag was near to.

After enjoying the moment of silence, he asked Fu "So you want to tell me what happened?" Naruto physically feel Fu's core muscles tighten out of nervousness.

He normally would have assured her that she didn't have to if she didn't want to, but he got the feeling that she needed to talk about this.

"Well… all throughout the academy days, and after that; they never really even acknowledged my existence. Nobody did. They were supposed to be my team members, and when it was called out in the academy, they groaned, and moaned, and said that they didn't want to be on the same team. So their parents got them out of my team, and I became a team of one." Fu paused for a while. "Then we got married, and now they suddenly think that we're best friends. I hate them so much for that. They don't even have the guts to hate me. As soon as I become useful to them and the village, they open their arms up as wide as they can. I hate that. They only like me now because of the treaty. I kind of lost it when they talked to us, went out into the forest, and… you know the rest."

Naruto was silent for a while. "Fu… why do you fight?" he asked suddenly.

"I fight for you, my best friend." She said without hesitation.

Naruto frowned. "But what if I die?" Naruto asked, remembering his conversation with the Kyuubi.

"I won't let you die." She said with the utmost conviction.

"But what if I do? Fu, I might die sometime, and you'll be all alone again." Fu didn't speak up. "You need more people to protect that just me. I know that it's painful trying to forgive people that have hurt you before, trust me I do. But sometimes when they try to act nice again, even if it's just to get close to you, you have to try to be nice to them. I know for a fact that anyone who meets you would be glad to have you as their friend, no matter their original intentions."

"But what if they hurt me again?" she said quietly.

"If I was afraid of never being hurt, I wouldn't go outside. Just like they are finally giving you a chance, you have to give them a chance too, or you'll never not be alone."

She was silent for a bit more before responding. "I'll – I'll try."

Naruto smiled and dreamily said "All you can do is try. But I know you'll be successful." After saying that, he closed his eyes and fell asleep while laying on Fu's body.

She smiled contently and moved them both into a position more considerate of Naruto's pained body.

With her being the big spoon of course.

**AN/ yo. It's gentleman here. Sorry for the wait, but I made the chapter extra long this time to make up for it.**

**I'm going to be running some clean-up on my earlier chapters, so don't expect an update until after that.**

**Other than that, tell me what you think. R and R.**

**If you hadn't extrapolated yet, I plan on having Naruto play out a different relationship with all five of his wives, instead of playing out the harem trope of them all being madly romantically in love with him right from the get go, the character and relationship building will happen differently and slightly slower than normal here.**

**Yugito = older sister type**

**Fu = slightly unhinged (but still nice) friend**

**Etc. **


	18. the pranks

Chapter 18

**AN/ the beginning chapters are updated. To give you incentive, I've created a few omake's for your reading pleasure**

Naruto was not having a very fun first day in iwa. Because in the first 5 minutes that he arrived there, he had been pushed into a waterslide full of oil and grease, stuck into quick drying cement, and covered in feathers. All orchestrated by Kurotsuchi of course.

Every man, woman, and child who was in the general vicinity of the kage administration, where it took place, laughed at the sight of a stuck, oiled, and feathered Naruto who was desperately trying not to vomit.

His teleport ride there had left him queasy as it was, but being shoved out the window and onto a slide by his rock-wife almost nailed the head into the coffin. Naruto could feel the food in his stomach desperately wanting to exit out of his facial orifices, but he pushed the urge down out of sheer willpower. He would not give Kurotsuchi the satisfaction of seeing him blow chunks on his first day in the hidden village in the stones.

As he stood at stock attention in front of a laughing populace, the Tsuchikage floated down from the open window and formally greeted the son of the accursed Namikaze. "Hello Naruto." He said, barely able to contain his laughter "Welcome to our hospitable homeland, Iwagakure no Sato."

He spat out some of the oil that had gotten into his mouth. "Oh, please. The pleasure is all mine." He replied sarcastically.

Naruto began to glare daggers at his granddaughter, who was on the ground laughing her sides out. "You do know that I'm going to get her back, right?" he asked the aging man.

Onoki put up his arms and closed his eyes. "What are you talking about?" he asked airily "is there anything that my granddaughter would have done to upset you so much that you would resort to such childish antics as pranking?" he smirked and discreetly winked at the humiliated leaf chunin. "But even if you would resort to such childish antics, as long as you don't involve anyone else, I doubt that you would face much retribution."

Naruto grinned when he heard that. Time to start plotting.

Takigakure no Sato.

Fu was staring at the unopened book on the ground in front of her. The label read 'icha-icha paradise.'

Ever since her interactions with Naruto, or more specifically when she had taken in mass amounts of dick-pheromones, she had been feeling different.

Their time together ever since she had lost it and crushed some of his ribs had been spent going over the finer points of taijutsu, training in swordsmanship, and mass amounts of ramen eating. That time she spent with him had been fantastic for her, but she always had a little something niggling in the back of her head. Something that wanted to be indulged, but she couldn't indulge it, not while Naruto was there. All of that led to her current situation of staring at a book full of pornographic material.

She didn't know how to start sexually indulging her lust, as that was the feeling that she believed that she was under the spell of. Even if some of the many books that she read had steamy sessions in them, she had up until then, no interest in reading page after page of only that, and nothing else.

Reading had also given her a fair understanding of how people acted and felt around and towards each other. So even if she hadn't spent her life up to that point surrounded by people, she had a basic understanding of how people acted around other people with emotions like love, lust, happiness, sadness, and so on mixed up in the pot.

And even if the books she read had been able to accurately describe what sexual feeling, attraction, and release had felt like, they never went into the finer details of masturbating, or more specifically, how to do it.

Fu sighed, opened up the book, and started reading it. Everything that came after that would happen upon instinct she supposed.

Iwagakure no Sato

Naruto was showering off all the grease and feathers that he had accumulated during his first five minutes in Iwagakure. When he had arrived at Kurotsuchi's domicile, he had noted that her father was away, and immediately went to the bathroom to get clean. All the while, Kurotsuchi was being wracked by laughing fits. She had been last seen on her couch, holding her stomach and moaning in pain and pleasure.

Apparently, she laughed so hard that her core was feeling like it was on fire.

Despite the fact that he had been publically humiliated by his wife, he was smiling. Despite the fact that he traded a serene forest with a metropolis made of rocks, he was happy. Despite the fact that he was in a shower that was covered in grease and feathers, which he would probably have to clean later, he was in a good mood.

Why? It's because he had finally found a rival in pranking. And he was going to have lots of fun getting even with her over the course of his week there.

A few hours later, late evening.

Kitsuchi walked into his house after just having completed a mission, and noticed an extremely intoxicating aroma. It smelled of pork and vegetables in his house, a pleasant duo. Although he and Kurotsuchi never cooked, he never expected to find his son-in-law slaving over a giant pot, in the process of creating culinary art.

All reservations that Kitsuchi had over the marriage of his daughter and the son of the Fourth instantly vanished at the sight of the pork stew. How did Naruto know that pork stew was his favorite food in the world?

Kurotsuchi walked in from her room and greeted her father. "Hey pops." She said offhandedly.

Looking between his daughter and son-in-law, he said "If you two weren't already married, I'd tell you to marry him."

Kurotsuchi backed up in surprise. "What's this about?" she asked.

He walked up behind Naruto, and clasped both of his large hands on Naruto's shoulders, making him stop cooking the stew for a few seconds. "Because we finally have someone who knows how to cook in this house." He said.

Kurotsuchi noticed the meal that Naruto was creating as well, which set her off guard because of the shit she put him through when he first arrived there. The food smelled fantastic, and she couldn't wait to eat it. But she also couldn't help but feel something in the back of her head, trying to tell her something. Brushing it off, she walked back to the table to wait to be served up along with her dad.

"Hmph. Imagine my surprise that when I get home after a long mission that I'm having my favorite meal cooked for me by my son-in-law." Kitsuchi remarked. Kurotsuchi nodded as well. This situation was a new one for her, because even though her and her father weren't estranged by any means, she could only remember one time when they both decided to cook a meal and eat it together. Long story short, they ended up pushing the scorched remains into the trash can and ordering pizza.

Naruto brought the huge pot of stewed goodness, and started serving them up some food, which they all began chowing down on with great gusto. Kurotsuchi felt bad for pranking him to the extent that she did after she began eating the great meal that he had prepared for them in spite of the humiliation that she put him through. Kurotsuchi would have to apologize later, but out of the hearing range of her father, and without anybody knowing about it.

All throughout their sit-down meal, he was silently scheming about what he was going to do to her while she was asleep for the night. Just like he had done before when he had dyed her clothes pink. He broke out into an uncontrollable grin.

Kitsuchi noticed that Naruto's face morphed into one of supreme happiness. "What?" he asked brusquely

Being found out, Naruto began stumbling for words. "Oh, what? I uhhh… I just can't wait to spend time with my wife is all." He said, continuing to grin manically.

With a mischievous smile, Kitsuchi nudged Kurotsuchi. "Looks like I can count on grandchildren after all."

Kurotsuchi blushed heavily and started to spew out reasons why the statement that he just announced was false in the most egregious of ways. After properly making a fool out of herself, she sank back down into her chair. Kurotsuchi was genuinely confused. After she had left Konoha, the both of them were still on terms that one might call 'unfriendly'. Now though, he not only seemingly put the prank she pulled behind him, but he also created a home-made meal for her, and talked about how he wanted to spend time with her.

While she was busy thinking to herself whether or not he might be harboring feelings for her, Naruto collected the empty bowls and put them into the sink. Kitsuchi rose and said goodnight to the both of them.

After Naruto cleaned out the bowls, he approached Kurotsuchi. "So what are the sleeping arrangements?" he asked.

She snapped out of her reverie. "Oh. Uhh… follow me." Kurotsuchi rose up from her seat and bade Naruto to follow her. They ended up in a traditional eastern style room with a closet that held tatami mats and futons. She also had a bathroom extension to her room.

Kurotsuchi grabbed two tatami mats with matching futons and set them down in the middle of the room. "We only have two bedrooms, so you're bunking with me." She said. "And don't try any funny business. These walls are thin, and my dad sleeps right next door."

Naruto wasn't planning to, so he didn't feel much fear in the slightest. "Don't worry, you can trust me." He said all too sweetly.

Kurotsuchi eyed him warily. "Okay…" she picked a few of her pajamas out and went into the bathroom. "I'm changing in here, you change out there." She ordered.

Naruto began taking out clothes from his sealing scrolls "Okay boss." He said with a mock salute.

Closing the door behind her, she began to get out of her clothes and put her pajamas on at an unknowingly fast pace. Her thoughts of Naruto possibly having feelings for her made her nervous, and caused her to think up a whole slew of questions like whether or not it was a good idea for him to sleep in the same room as her, or what their romance would even be like, or if she would mind being romantically involved with her husband at all.

She was an over thinker for sure. However, she never thought about Naruto's state of dress when she opened the door to her bathroom, which she probably should have, because he was naked from the waist down.

"Woah!" Naruto quickly covered his extremity and Kurotsuchi closed the door almost as soon as she opened it. After being reminded of the size of his member, an entirely new set of questions permeated her mind and made her blush a bright vermillion.

Once she was sure that an appropriate amount of time passed, she opened the door again to find Naruto getting into his bedding. He refused to meet her gaze. Naruto did not comment on what she may or may not have seen, and Kurotsuchi was far too embarrassed to even bring it up.

She found her newfound embarrassment infuriating. She was the one who made people embarrassed! Not him!

When the lights were off and they were both settled for sleep, Kurotsuchi asked "Hey kid?"

He grunted in affirmation that he was listening.

After she asked the first question, she found it hard to bring up her apology. "Look… I uhhh… I might have gone a bit overboard with the prank this morning… I'm sorry." Naruto looked at her in surprise, but Kurotsuchi's back was turned to him. He never expected her to apologize for pranking him, and he even started having reservations over what he was planning to do to her. But still, even if she apologized, they were uneven, and she was going to suffer retribution for her insolence at even thinking that she could prank the king of pranks. Even so, Naruto decided to tone down what he was planning on just a bit.

Unknown to her, he was grinning like a mad man.

The next morning.

Kurotsuchi felt foolish.

No. scratch that. She felt like she had been mentally impaired.

Her reflection stared back at her from the bathroom mirror. How did she even think that he might be interested in starting a romantic relationship? How did she let herself ponder that possibility?

It was true, during the few weeks that they had been apart, she had genuinely missed him. Naruto was one of the few people that she even remotely liked talking to, mostly because she didn't have to think about what she could or could not say to him.

She was the only grandchild of the kage after all.

Kurotsuchi had even liked their cycle of pranks. It was fun pranking him, and to a lesser extent, it was fun being pranked.

She had also been really worried about her future. What if the treaty lasted forever? She wouldn't be able to start a relationship with anyone other than him. As strange as it sounded to her, he was the only outlet for her to ever think of feeling romance towards.

But no. Kurotsuchi didn't think that she would ever be able to forgive him and bury the hatchet for what he did when she asleep.

The reflection that stared back at her had neon pink hair. It wasn't even painted on pink. He bleached her hair in her sleep and dyed it so it looked like her hair naturally grew that color follicles!

She numbly walked back into her room, already knowing that he had vacated it. From the kitchen she could hear the sizzling sound of bacon, so she walked silently in that direction.

Indeed there was bacon being made, as well as eggs and toast. He hadn't noticed her presence, but was still smiling to himself nonetheless as he cooked up their breakfast.

Kurotsuchi wanted to murder him. She wanted to impart an amount of murder on his face to the extent that the murder that his face endured would be spoken of for generations to come. Her body wouldn't move to her commands however, she was still in shock.

"H-How?" so she settled on asking him how he did it.

Naruto turned around, noticing her presence. "Oh, good morning Pinkutsuchi. Have you done something with your hair?" he asked cheekily, and returned to making breakfast.

"How?" she repeated.

"What? Oh. You're a really heavy sleeper you know." He said in response. There were bags under his eyes, signifying that he hadn't slept the previous night.

"B-But… the chemicals."

He turned to face her yet again. "Every good prankster has a ready supply of heavy duty hair bleach and permanent dye."

Kurotsuchi eyed her sword that she left on the living room table. She was about to pick it up and reduce him to cutlets when her dad came back into the kitchen.

"Something smells goo-" he was stopped mid-sentence when he noticed the bags under Naruto's eyes in conjunction with Kurotsuchi's newfound hair color. Kitsuchi knew of Kurotsuchi's hatred for the color pink, and thus was able to piece together somewhat what happened between the two. Not knowing what to say, or how to react, he just decided to get some toast and leave to report to mission assignment.

He trusted his daughter enough not to kill him.

As he was beginning to leave, Kurotsuchi's hand began to twitch towards her sword once again. She knew that she couldn't kill him, but having her sword by her side felt good for her and let her think level-headedly.

"So what's on the agenda for today?" Naruto asked while heaping eggs and bacon on two plates for him and Kurotsuchi.

She sat down at the kitchen table, still holding onto the blade, which was unsheathed. "We're supposed to report to a training ground to be taught by a jonin." She replied airily.

Naruto raised an eyebrow "You're going too?"

"Yes." She hissed out.

"Someone's in a grumpy mood today…" Naruto said with some bacon on his fork.

Kurotsuchi quickly brought her sword in front of her and thrust it at him. Naruto, even if he did push her a bit too far, never expected her to try to skewer him, and thusly flinched away from her strike.

She retracted her sword that had missed him by a mile, and began to eat the bacon that was now situated on its tip. Naruto looked at his now bacon less fork in wonder. Kurotsuchi managed to wrench the bacon from his fork without slicing in two. A remarkable feat.

"You know what? I'm going to get you. It won't be today. Might not be tomorrow. But it will happen." She said with a mouth full of sword bacon.

Naruto grinned back at her. "I look forward to it." Truthfully, he enjoyed their little cycle of pranks as well. Kurotsuchi was a good opponent.

She walked up from her position at the table and proceeded to put ninja wrappings around her head, intended to hide her new hair color. After that she walked out the door. Naruto got up and ran after her.

"Where are you going?" he said to her loudly.

She turned around with a quizzical look on her face. "We're out of milk! I'm getting some, then coming back!" she yelled back at him and ninja jumped away.

Naruto slunk back into the house and got ready for training. Kurotsuchi quickly returned with a jug of milk in hand. The perks of being a shinobi is that one could get groceries in under 3 minutes.

She suited up without a word edgewise and met up with Naruto at the front door.

The run to the training ground was dangerously quiet. It put Naruto off his game slightly, and made him wonder if he went too far with dyeing her hair pink.

They ended up a ways away from the sprawling iwa proper and ended up at the very outskirts. It was just a flat plain of a single slab of rock for as far as he could see. "Where are we?" he asked Kurotsuchi.

"Training ground 111, dubbed 'the flat rock field.'" She said with no small amount of national pride.

Naruto looked around. "Okay, so where's sensei?" just as the words left his mouth, the ground in front of him turned wavy and a very large man erupted from the now water like substance.

He was still dripping from the watery granular material. Kurotsuchi looked at Naruto and said "this is Eisha-sensei, the Rock Swimmer."

Although he was a towering man, he had the body structure of an Olympic swimmer and thusly, had no hair on his head and chest, which were bare. The only clothing he wore was a pair of spandex swim trunks. Despite his lack of physical age markers, his countenance marked him as a twenty something year-old

He nodded in Naruto's direction "Good morning, son of the Fourth. I am Eisha, and I will be teaching you today."

Naruto nodded back as well. "Hello Eisha-sensei, you can call me Naruto."

"Okay Naruto, tell me all that you know in ninja survival."

He rattled off all that he knew: the shadow clone, rasengan, basic kenjutsu, survival techniques, transformation, substitution, and sexy no jutsu.

Eisha decided not to comment on the sexy no jutsu. "You seem to have extremely basic knowledge in ninja skills as well as extremely advanced knowledge, there's no in-between. You'll practice swordsmanship and beefing up your supplementary jutsu repertoire."

Naruto didn't see any sword on his form. "You'll teach me kenjutsu?" he asked.

Eisha shook his head. "Nope, luckily enough your wife has great knowledge on the art of swords." Kurotsuchi menacingly unsheathed her sword.

Naruto also unsheathed his sword from his hip. He didn't like the look that she giving him.

Kumogakure, at the moment.

Yugito finally woke up and did her morning stretches. She had been told before that she was unnaturally limber, even for a kunoichi. It was proven when she effortlessly poked her head in between her legs and crouched down to rest. The very notion of bending a torso so far back that it almost came back to its original position would be damn near impossible to pull for the normal shinobi. Yugito, however, had been able to do after just only a week of stretches. She didn't know the reason why, perhaps it was Matatabi's fault, or maybe she was just born limber.

There was a knocking on the door. She sighed and unfolded her body from its resting position. Outside the door was a very nervous Samui, though she didn't show any of it on her face.

Yugito was very surprised by the person on her front step. "Hello Samui-san. Is there something that you want?" she asked cordially.

Samui shuffled around a bit. "Can I come inside? I need to talk to you."

"Uhm. Sure." Yugito opened the door fully, allowing for her to step inside. Samui gazed around her interior, and settled herself on the couch.

"I like your apartment." Samui started coolly.

"What was it that you wanted?" Yugito said, not really in the mood for idle chit-chat.

Samui sighed. "It's about Naruto."

Yugito sat down as well. "Figured as much."

Samui took a moment to collect her thoughts. "I know that you're married to him, along with 4 others, and I also know that you 4 aren't romantically involved with him... so I was wondering if it would be okay for me to date him."

"Probably not. It would send a bad message to the rest of the nations that Naruto started a relationship with a person outside the marriage."

"But… surely they know that the arranged marriage is an unwanted affair by the ones who are directly involved."

"Maybe." Yugito conceded "But you have to understand that this union is more symbolic than anything else."

Samui was quiet for a time. "Okay next question. Do you think that I'd be allowed to be a part of the marriage as well?"

Yugito was shocked, and was unable to come up with any other response than "Why?"

Using her brother's words, she said "So I can use it for a vehicle to start a relationship with him."

Yugito leveled a maternal gaze on Samui, understanding her slightly. "Look Samui… I don't know you that well, but you're 13, you shouldn't get hung up on a guy at that age. You've got your whole life ahead of you and you shouldn't bog yourself down with marriage when you're so young."

Samui was starting to lose her composure. "But I… I've never met someone like him before."

Yugito nodded. "Yeah, he is a special guy. But if you want to start a relationship with him, well… you may only be married on paper, but you'll have to go through the steps of being actually married. Namely, living in the same house, sharing a bed, putting up with each other's bad points from day one. I don't think that any budding relationship could survive that."

Samui looked like she had been expecting that information. "…Thanks Yugito. You know, you're a surprisingly cool person."

"I'll try to take that as a compliment." Yugito got up and Samui did the same.

Samui left her house with the parting words of "If you ever need to talk, don't hesitate to come to me." Samui needed older female advice, there weren't that many older women that she could talk to for advice.

Yugito closed the door and resumed her stretches in the living room with a smile on her face. It was nice being needed by someone.

Iwagakure 4 hours later.

Kurotsuchi was on the ground, too tired to even think about moving any limbs. 'Where does that energy come from?' she thought to herself. She glared at Naruto menacingly. It was lucky that her head just so happened to be turned to the side that Naruto was standing in, because she didn't have the energy to move her neck.

Naruto was sweating profusely, but other than that and a few already healing cuts, he was fine. He and Eisha were having a conversation that was just out of the range of her hearing. Naruto walked over to her position abruptly. "You okay Pinkutsuchi?"

She tried to move to wave him off, but only succeeded in doing slight movements of her arms on the ground. Although she hadn't needed any chakra to boost her speed or strength, at the later stages of their sparring she had needed to push chakra into her limbs just so she wouldn't get tired.

He knelt down to her and pulled her torso up so that it was resting on his knees. He pulled out a soldier pill and put it in her mouth. "Chew." He ordered.

Pinkutsuchi was able to comply. As soon as she ate the pill, she felt energy rush back into her tired limbs, and was able to prop herself back up.

Their fight had been fierce. Kurotsuchi had, at first, rushed him with wild abandon and a ferocity known only to women who have been scorned, not knowing or caring how well he could fight with the sword. After a few minutes of that, even though he was an inferior swordsman, he was able to get some nicks in her. So she decided to be more cautious and play it by the book. After engaging him for 4 hours, she was astounded by his endurance, and even if he was inferior in skill, he definitely won by attrition.

She pulled herself up from the ground and waved Naruto away from her. Eisha walked up to them and announced "That was a boring 4 hours for me."

Kurotsuchi didn't really care much, and walked to the sidelines to rest a bit. Even if she ate the soldier pill to replenish her chakra, her muscles were still tired from the fight.

Eisha looked back at Naruto. "Dude, what did you do to her?"

"Hey! _She_ started it." he said indignantly

He put up his hands "Hey, hey. Don't worry, I'll leave the marital conflicts to the married." He took out a scroll and passed it to Naruto "The reason they call me the rock swimmer is because I took the jutsu **"earth walking"** and perfected it to the scale that I'm able to enter and exit solid rock. You'll be practicing the jutsu on soft earth for now." He did a few handseals and slammed his palms on the ground. A six foot wide in diameter circle of solid tock turned to soft earth.

Naruto unfurled the scroll. It detailed all the things that one would have to know about the jutsu in order to properly accomplish it. From the handseals, to how it the chakra was internally molded, to how it was externally discharged, all the way to the finer points of execution. "So if I learn from the scroll, what are you going to do?" he asked the Rock Swimmer.

"Hey, I put you on the right direction. You have to walk it." Eisha promptly melted into the solid rock and disappeared.

"You remind me so much of a certain perverted scarecrow back at home." Naruto mumbled to himself.

He looked at the scroll again. Naruto wasn't much of a book learner, preferring to do things with hands on experience. But with his sensei gone, he didn't have much a choice but to look at the scroll for guidance.

He looked to Kurotsuchi for support, but found that she had fallen asleep.

A few hours later.

Naruto was getting himself pumped up. "Okay, Okay. I got this." Going through the proper handsigns, he shouted out **"earth walking"** and sank into the ground. He came bursting right back up for air immediately afterwards.

"Okay. **"Earth walking" **is a success." It wasn't really. A lot more depended on a jutsu than it successfully being used. There were a whole slew of other things that one had to take into account when using jutsu's on the battlefield. Naruto didn't even really know how to navigate around in the ground, or how to make it so he could breathe under there for limited amounts at a time.

But nevertheless, Naruto felt like he had achieved something that day, so he went to go wake Kurotsuchi up. The snores that she had been making had reverberated throughout the training field for the longest time, but Naruto didn't want to needlessly wake her up and suffer her wrath.

But with the need to train now over and done with, he could confidently wake her up without suffering castration.

He nudged her with his toe. "Oi, Pinkutsuchi-chan. Wake up." She was unaffected by his prodding. So he shoved her a bit with his foot, she was still snoring away.

'How can she operate in battle with those sleep habits?' with a great sigh of defeat, he picked her up and laid her on his back for piggyback riding.

Unknown to him, she was inwardly smirking.

The walk back to her place was slow and arduous. It didn't matter how much endurance he had, she was still heavy in comparison to his physical strength.

Just as he was making to where he thought she lived, he heard Kurotsuchi shout "NOW!" she planted her feet on his back and used him as a springboard to jump off of. He ate dirt and was up in time to see several teenagers armed with balloons filled with an unknown liquid.

"I KNEW IT!" Naruto shouted, and unsealed his own armament of water balloons.

A balloon was lobbed at him from one of the teens, but he was able to dodge just in time for an imposing adult to get impacted straight in the chest from it. He now had a yellow paint stain on his front shirt.

Still dodging balloons, Naruto handed a few of his own to the unknown, now painted, stranger. He took the balloons and started fighting alongside Naruto.

That was how The Battle of the Painted Rock had started out. With Naruto fooling the ambushers and providing armaments to the uninvolved passerby who had been hit by the sudden conflict. After everyone was well and truly painted over, the tide began to turn in favor of Naruto. Kurotsuchi might have had the element of surprise, but Naruto was able to use his charisma to turn the tide of the masses in his favor.

It didn't hurt that he had an almost unlimited supply of paint balloons.

Soon Kurotsuchi's friends were pushed back by Naruto's superior fighting force and resolve. When they ran away with their tails tucked between their legs, a thoroughly painted over Naruto cried out in triumph and the masses that had fought by his side did so as well.

The news soon leaked out about the Battle of the Painted Rock, which put a smile on all the faces of any iwa citizen who heard about it.

But there was still one problem that needed to be cleared up.

Kurotsuchi.

He had no idea where she was. Looking all around him, Naruto was suddenly pelted in the back with several paint balloons, which exploded on impact. Taken by surprise, Naruto fell forward, and was subjugated to an absolute onslaught of painting. He tried to turn himself around to help get out of range, but that only made it worse for him, as the balloons started hitting with more force, never letting him get up from the ground.

When the pelting stopped, he looked up to a nearby rooftop to see a smirking Kurotsuchi. She dropped down and faced him from about twenty feet away.

"How did you know that I was going to do that?" Kurotsuchi asked. She was unpainted, as she had been hiding on the rooftop the entire time.

"We already had milk. There was no reason for you to get some more. So I guessed that you were plotting something." He said with a smile.

"And the paint balloons?" she asked.

"Whenever I'm not on a mission, I always have _something _on me. It just so happened that we had the same idea."

"Hmph. Great minds think alike." She said.

"Yeah. Well… not _entirely_ alike." Just as he said that, multiple Naruto's poofed into existence from their states of being transformed into different items on the road. They all hefted a filled-beyond-capacity paint balloon and hurled it at our favorite pink-haired heroine.

With no room to maneuver, she was only able to cross her arms in front of her and crouch slightly before she was painted over in a deluge of different colors. All the clones poofed out of existence once their missions were completed.

Not talking at all, she began to shuffle towards the still downed Naruto. Once she was close to him, she fell to the ground by his side. They both sat there in silence. The roads were painted and mixed with different colors. He houses that got hit all had splatters on them. Strangely enough, it was Kurotsuchi's home that got hit with the worst of the paint.

In sync, they both looked at each other in the eyes from their position on the ground and started laughing. Naruto's laughing soon died down, but Kurotsuchi remained in that state for a while longer. Even though her personality was mischievous in nature, even though her snoring would wake a bear from slumber, even though she acted with a brusque disposition, she did have a beautiful laugh.

Naruto had never stopped and listened to her laugh before. The sounds of her harmonious laugh brought a smile to his face.

Once she was done laughing, she opened her eyes up again to see Naruto staring at her with a smile on his face, even if it was difficult to tell with all the paint on his face.

"What?" she asked playfully.

"You… have a really nice laugh." Naruto said.

This caused her to be taken aback. "Err… thanks." She picked herself up and offered a hand to the downed Jinchuuriki. He took it and was brought to stand on his feet.

"You know what Kurotsuchi? I really like you." Naruto said bluntly.

This caused her to be even more taken aback. "Oh, uuummm… thanks. I really like you too."

Naruto continued to smile "You're like the only person who can match me and my pranking." He held a hand out towards her. "Thanks for being a friend."

She took the hand. "He he. No problem. You're kind of fun to hang around too, but I'm never going to forgive you for dyeing my hair pink." She said playfully.

"Awww. But you look so nice with pink hair."

She blushed, even if it wasn't evident on her face because of the paint, her change in demeanor definitely showed embarrassment. "D-Don't say things that you don't mean, shithead."

Naruto was kind of confused by this 'Why is she embarrassed? I just complimented her.' Whenever he complimented Sakura, she would usually tell him off, or hit him, but Kurotsuchi got embarrassed from it. Naruto started plotting again. 'So she gets embarrassed when she gets complimented… I think I could work that angle.'

He started to walk to Kurotsuchi's house. "If we're going to continue pranking each other, we're going to have to tone it down a bit. Don't you think, by beautiful wife?"

She looked at him as he walked in the direction of her home. 'Maybe a relationship between us could work. But before that ever happens, I am going to get him back for dyeing my hair pink.'

It was the start of a beautiful friendship.

**AN/ as always. Read and Review.**

Omake 4

It was movie night at the Uzumaki residence, and all five of wives were there. And all five of them were crying their eyes out.

They were watching 'The Scrollbook' a movie that had something to do with a couple of teenagers pledging to marry each other, but one got sent to war, the other married to another person, yadda yadda yadda. Naruto really didn't care, and wasn't really paying attention, because it was so utterly dull to him, but for some reason, it provoked large amounts of sad feeling amongst his wives.

"How is this sad in any way, shape, or form?" Naruto finally asked.

He got a pillow to the face for all his trouble of wishing to understand. "It just is." Fu said with tears streaming down her face.

"How can you not get this?" Temari asked Naruto in-between breaths for sobs to break through.

By far, Mei's crying was the loudest of the group. The dialogue was barely comprehensible at the loudness that she was crying, yet they all somehow managed to continue to hear it and get hit by a truck full of feels.

"I love this movie so much. It's so much better the fourth time" Yugito whispered. The only reason that Naruto was able to understand her was because she was cuddling him on her lap.

"Wait. You've seen this movie before?" Naruto asked. All of them nodded their heads.

"Second time" Fu said.

"Fifth time" Temari said.

"Third time" Kurotsuchi said

Mei made an unintelligible response, but it definitely sounded like more than ten times.

Naruto shook his head. He truly never thought that he would be able to understand women.

**AN/ The Scrollbook = the Notebook.**


	19. the pranks pt 2

Chapter 19

Kurotsuchi's snoring was really bothering Naruto. It was a loud, reverberating, unpleasant sound that always seemed to blast forward from her mouth at unprecedented rates whenever she hit the first phase of the REM sleep cycle.

So he had to improvise and create make-shift ear plugs out of some ninja wire and stuffing to block the sound. It worked for a while, until the sounds of her father snoring as well came from the wall opposite of him and worked in tandem to completely penetrate the sound barrier of his ear plugs.

Seems that he found out on which side of the family that she got it from.

After some time deliberating, he walked over from his futon next to hers with the plan of somehow shutting off the snoring. Naruto knew that she was an unbelievably heavy sleeper, so he had some room for experimentation.

He tried the most obvious solution of trying to cover her mouth, which was where the snoring was coming from, but she stopped being able to intake any amount of air after he did that, and started to struggle immediately in her sleep. After he quickly pulled his hand away from her mouth, she started snoring like always.

He looked at his hand, it was almost pitch black, but he could see the faint shine on his hand from the small amount of light there was.

So she drooled in her sleep too.

Okay, what else could he do?

After wiping her drool away on his pajamas, he tried to roll her on her side to if that did any good.

It didn't.

After getting more than a little frustrated at the continued crescendo of snoring that was occurring, he slid a hand underneath her head, and tilted it upwards slightly.

The noise was cut down by half as soon as he did that.

Sighing in relief, he put her head back down and made way to his sleeping area. But just as he was getting down to rest again, the snoring came back in full.

Naruto wanted to scream in frustration.

Walking back over, he tilted her head in the exact same way and the snoring stopped again. Sensing a connection between position of the head and the occurrence of the snoring, he tried to position the pillow under her head to make it stay in that position.

How she was able to continue to sleep in that condition of having her head fiddled with would remain a mystery forever.

He couldn't get her head to stay in the same position, even after trying a myriad of pillow positions.

Knowing that his only practical solution in stopping the snoring would be to physically stop her from doing it, he solemnly began to climb under her futon with her.

Yugito and Fu were okay with sleeping in the same bed, so he assumed that Kurotsuchi would be as well. Resting her head on his arm in a fashion that stopped her from snoring, he was finally capable of going to sleep with the help of the earplugs.

Sidling up with her for the night, he immediately fell into dreamland with his wife.

The next morning

Ever since Naruto came to live with him and his daughter, Kitsuchi had been walking into some weird situations.

The first time he came home, he realized that his son-in-law was making a meal for all of them; the next morning, he awoke to his daughter having a different colored hair and his son-in-law being extremely sleep deprived; then he walked into his house, which was sporting a new paint job, to find both of the house's showers sporting a new color scheme.

Now, there was an extremely pissed off Kurotsuchi and an equally pissed off Naruto staring at each other, eating their breakfast with hateful expressions. The only difference between them was that Naruto was sporting a black eye.

Kitsuchi firmly believed that there was a line to be crossed. The line being domestic violence.

"What happened?" he asked gruffly.

The staring intensified.

"_What happened?_" he repeated.

Kurotsuchi broke eye contact. "I'm married to a pervert." She said simply.

"_You_ were snoring like a motherfucker, and I couldn't sleep!" Naruto cried indignantly.

"Wear fucking earplugs!"

"I was! You and your dad's snoring was so bad that they got through enough to the point that I thought that I was going to lose hearing!"

"Where does the justification for you spooning me come in!?"

"It was the only way to get you to stop!"

Kurotsuchi was pulling at her hair. "How does spooning cure snoring!?"

"It wasn't the spooning, it was your head positioning! I think. I'm pretty sure it was the head positioning."

Kurotsuchi looked to be on the verge of exploding. "So if I just needed to look a different way, WHY DID YOU NEED TO SPOON ME!?"

"IT WAS MORE COMFORTABLE!"

"NOT FOR ME!"

"YOU SLEPT LIKE A GOD-FORSAKEN ROCK!"

"AGAINST MY WILL!"

Naruto looked at her inquisitively "You slept against your will?"

She only got angrier. "I slept in a situation that was against my will" she hissed out.

Naruto took in a couple of deep breaths. After that, he calmly laced his fingers together, and serenely asked "Why are you uncomfortable with spooning?"

"I just am."

"No reason?"

"No. I'm just not comfortable with having a guy that I barely know spoon me."

He reclined back into his chair in a thoughtful expression. "Then why did Fu and Yugito let me sleep with them?"

"I don't know."

Naruto shook his head. "It doesn't matter. You'll have to deal with it somehow."

Her eyes went wide first in confusion, then anger. "WHAT!?"

"I need my sleep! And I can't get any when I'm bunking with Vader 1 and Vader 2." He said, pointing to Kitsuchi and Kurotsuchi respectively. Finishing his breakfast, he got up and went out the door. "I'm going to the training grounds!" he shouted out.

Kurotsuchi huffed and sank back into her seat.

Yup. Kitsuchi had been walking in on some weird situations as of late. He sat down opposite Kurotsuchi. "I thought you liked him." he said bluntly.

Kurotsuchi blushed slightly and looked away from her father. Indeed, she had told her dad about how she _might _have been _theoretically_ interested in actually dating him. Putting her head in her hands, she quietly said "I-I… I don't know. I can't figure him out."

They sat I silence for a while. "You know Kurotsuchi…" Kitsuchi began. "When I heard that pops had put you in an arranged marriage with the son of the Fourth, I lost it. I yelled, I screamed, I threw a temper tantrum... it wasn't a pretty sight. But eventually, I realized that while your marriage would probably be for the best of the nation as the whole, it wouldn't be for you." He took a deep breath. "So I made a promise to myself. If that 'son of the Fourth' makes my daughter unhappy in any way, I'll immediately annul the marriage. Doesn't matter what I have to do, I'll annul it somehow."

"So why haven't you annulled it yet?" she asked with bemused smirk on her face.

"Because I can tell that you're not unhappy."

She looked at the table with a hard expression. "I know. I-It's not that I'm not happy. I'm just _pissed_ off at him constantly."

Kitsuchi chuckled and leaned back in his seat. "You two just have to get accustomed to each other. Your mom and I were just like you two back in the day."

Kurotsuchi had heard the story quite a few times. Her dad had been strategically married off to a lava user in the hope of rekindling the dust release. At first they hated and detested each other, but they eventually warmed up to the thought of being married. Then they had a kid, her mom died in the third shinobi war, and young Kurotsuchi was married off to the son of the Fourth.

They sat in silence for a while. "Why don't you just tell him that you're interested in him?" Kitsuchi ventured.

She sighed leaned back as far as her spine would allow. "It's not that simple. What if he says that he's not interested in return? We have to sleep in the same room! Do you know how awkward that'll be? Or what if he says that he is interested in return? That's even worse! We're already married, so there's no toe dipping in this situation. Either we stay out of the water, or dive in headfirst."

Kitsuchi sighed. He didn't feel comfortable giving his teenage daughter dating advice. "Why don't you just go on a few dates before you tell him you're interested?"

"Because… I just, I don't know." She put her head in her hands.

"That new Princess Gale movie just came out. Why don't you see it with him?"

Kurotsuchi grunted in response. Getting up, she cleared her plate, and headed out the door. "I'll think about it!" she called out.

Training ground 111

Naruto burst out of the soft earth gasping for breath and started to look around his surroundings. He quickly spotted a circle on the earth about 10 feet away from him and groaned out in frustration.

After he made it to the training ground and showed his progress to Eisha, he seemed taken aback by how quickly Naruto had learned the jutsu. But he instructed that even if Naruto knew the jutsu, he didn't know how to correctly implement it. So he made the solid ground into a square clearing of loose earth that was about 50 ft long and 20 ft wide. After instructing Naruto on how to properly move in the earth, he made a circle on its surface at a random point and told Naruto that he would only truly be able to use the jutsu to its fullest if he was able to pop up in the circle from underground.

As it was, Eisha was looking at Naruto progress with no slight amount of wonder. Nobody learned jutsu that fast. Not even he was able to master the normal **"earth walking"** technique until a week into training with it. But here Naruto was, well on his way on mastering it in half the time.

Naruto was a surprisingly good student.

Naruto popped up from the ground gasping for breath again, but this time clearly in the circle that was imposed by Eisha. He started shouting in excitement and made his way to his part-time sensei.

"How was that Eisha-sensei?"

"That was perfect Naruto. What I just told you to do was meant to help you with your situational awareness. Naturally you can't see what's happening above ground, so it's important that you keep some awareness of where you are in relative position to where other things are on the surface."

Naruto beamed up at him. "So when can I do it like you can?" he asked excitedly.

"Probably never."

Naruto deflated. "So what was the point of me learning this jutsu?"

Eisha struck a 'pondering' pose. "Okay. Lecture time. This jutsu would usually be classified as a support jutsu. A jutsu that won't have much of an impact on physically harming the opponent, and is generally either used in running away, or getting behind or under the enemy. I, however" he pointed to himself. "Just used the jutsu as a template for my fighting style, and have changed it drastically to suit my needs."

Naruto looked up at him with a confused expression. "But how is what you do and what I do different?"

"Well for one, I mastered the use of two different chakra natures to supplement the way I use the jutsu, and I also am a chakra sensor to a limited degree."

This confused Naruto even more. "What are chakra natures and sensors?"

Eisha didn't look amused. "What did they teach you in the academy at Konoha?"

"I… never really listened to the lectures…" he said sheepishly.

Eisha looked down and pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. Looking up, he said "Basically, chakra natures are markers for the elemental type you can change your chakra into. Sensors are capable of sensing where other people are based on their chakra."

Naruto snapped his fingers in realization. "Like the Hyuuga?" he asked.

Eisha nodded. "Yes, but they are the most extreme example of chakra sensing."

"Okay, I've got that. But what does mastering chakra nature have to do with your technique?"

"…you really don't know anything about chakra natures do you?"

"I know that you can use different jutsu that do stuff like make fire or lighting." Naruto said indignantly.

"Well yes, generally anyone could use any jutsu that uses handseals. But some people are more predisposed to certain elements than to others. So a fire-type ninja would have a hard time learning wind-type jutsu. To master a nature type, one would have to completely be able to bring their element out of their chakra, and each of the elemental types have different exercises to do so."

"But didn't you say that you mastered two? And how does that affect the jutsu?"

"It is possible to master elemental natures that aren't your main type, but it takes a lot longer. I was born a water type, so mastering that only took a few years. But for my fighting style to be complete, I would need to master earth type. Luckily, I live in Iwagakure, so finding instruction in earth manipulation wasn't difficult."

"So what does that have to do with the jutsu?" Naruto repeated.

"Well… like I said, anyone can learn any jutsu that uses handseals because handseals manipulate and convert your chakra for you. But they can only be used rigidly, and don't offer much flexibility out of the realm of their respective jutsu. Direct elemental manipulation works by being able to interact with the world around you and other jutsu in a much more languid and flexible way. So people can do things to their surroundings with direct elemental manipulation to completely alter the flow of the battle."

Naruto nodded his head, understanding the lecture so far.

"The way that I use the two natures in conjunction with each other is by shrouding myself simultaneously with my earth chakra and water chakra, then using the earth chakra to break up the rock into smaller granular materials, I jump inside and saturate it with my water chakra, which makes it much more loose and allows me to 'swim' with a huge amount of speed by changing my directions and speed with the water current."

Naruto nodded again. "But what does you being a sensor have to do with anything?"

"Well I got the nickname 'the rock swimmer' because I would be able to 'swim' directly under anyone and drag them into the rock, where they would suffocate. Being able to sense where people were was a humongous help to me."

"How would people suffocate? Couldn't they just swim upwards?"

"Because I saturate the rock with my water chakra, once the chakra dissipates, so does the water. The same goes for the rock, so once I swim away, they're stuck in solid rock."

Naruto cringed. It truly was a brutal fighting style. But something was still off to him. "How old are you?" Naruto asked. From what he gathered, mastering chakra natures take loads of time, and he shouldn't have had the time to completely master an entire fighting style by himself.

"47." He said nonchalantly.

Naruto's eyes widened considerably. "You're 47? But, you look so…" As was stated before, Eisha didn't have very many physical markers to gauge his age, and Naruto only guessed his age by his general countenance.

"Yes…?" Eisha said expectantly.

"You just… you act young." Naruto finished lamely.

"Is there something wrong with that?" he asked defensively.

"No, no. of course not. It's just… surprising I guess." After he said that, Naruto fell onto the ground and looked up at the clouds.

"So I'm not going to master it to your level, but to use it correctly in battle, I would use it to run away from a strong opponent, or use it to get behind them?" he asked from the ground.

"Yeah." Eisha decided to lie down on the ground as well.

Naruto sat in silence for a while. "I could so use this with my shadow clones." Indeed, distracting the enemy, then coming up when they least expect it would be a very good strategy to use in conjunction with shadow clones.

"Mhhmm. There a few more things that I could teach you, like how to get a limited amount of oxygen down there, but that would probably take way too much time for you to learn it within the week because you have at least a passing knowledge of wind chakra."

Naruto grunted in affirmation. They stayed that way for a while, just relaxing and staring up at the clouds float by. Naruto finally understood why Shikamaru liked doing it so much. It was a lot more soothing than he expected it to be.

"Hey Eisha?"

"Hn?"

"You're old right?"

"I personally wouldn't say that 47 is very old."

"But you've lived longer than I have, and are a lot smarter."

"Yeah."

"What do you know about girls?" Naruto had been having a hard time with Kurotsuchi and was seeking advice. Eisha was the only one available, but he did survive to his forties, so he must be more knowledgeable than Naruto was on the subject.

Eisha sighed explosively. "Absolutely nothing."

Or not.

Naruto eyed him warily "What do you mean?"

Eisha took a while to answer. "Look man, I don't know anything about women just as much as women don't know anything about men." Eisha eyed him severely. "I'm only going to say this once, so you better listen up. You shouldn't make assumptions on people based on anything that seems apparent to you. Whether that be race, gender, or sexual orientation. Would you like to know why?"

Naruto nodded.

"You shouldn't make assumptions on people because all people are different. If you would like to do something, communicate it first. I swear, if people just told other people how they feel, the world wouldn't be so fucked up."

Eisha's countenance turned cheerful once again "Marital problems?"

"Yup."

"Your life seems to have turned into one marital problem after another."

"You could say that again."

"You going to talk about it or what?"

Naruto groaned. "Okay. So… she snores, first of all. It isn't a small snore that could be dealt with on most nights, no her snoring shakes the house, and her dad does it too which only makes it worse." Naruto saw that Eisha was following him so far. "So I walked over to her while she was sleeping, and moved her head in a position that stopped the snoring. I tried to arrange the pillow to do it for me, but my arm was the only thing that could keep it in that position. So I put my arm under her head to stop the snoring, and went back to sleep."

"I'm going to assume that she didn't take too well to that."

"Didn't you say not to assume things?"

"Don't assume things about _people_, situations and actions are completely different."

"Hmph, whatever. Anyway, once she woke up, she punched me in the face."

"Well you _did_ sneak into bed with her."

"But Fu and Yugito were fine with it." he said indignantly.

"You're other wives?"

Naruto nodded.

"Are Fu and Yugito the same person as Kurotsuchi?"

Naruto shook his head.

"Well there you have your answer. You assumed that people of the opposite gender are okay with sleeping in the same bed because of your previous interactions with your other wives, and you shouldn't do that. You can basically infer how people feel towards one thing or another based on their actions and interactions with the world."

"Well yeah, but I don't know why Kurotsuchi does the things she does!"

"And this is where experience with other people come in. what has she done that mystifies you?"

"Well she usually acts all mischievous around me, but lately she's been acting different."

"How so?"

"I don't know! Sometimes she's acting all nice and understanding and she laughs a lot, but other times she's really mad at me for reasons that I don't understand. She just switches from one personality to another."

"Anything else?"

"Uhhh… she gets embarrassed when I compliment her? I don't know anyone else who does that."

A few things fell into place in Eisha's head. "Look kid. Sometimes people have trouble putting their feelings into words or actions, so if you do something sudden and they don't know how to react, then the results could be quite explosive."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that she likes you. But she doesn't know how to show it, or she doesn't want to show it."

Naruto didn't really know how to take this little tidbit of information. "Huh? But she… she never acts like she likes me…" He said, scratching his head in confusion.

Naruto, for his part, wasn't much of a thinker. There are a few reasons for this, such as he just isn't very good at it, or that he doesn't find much pleasure in doing so. But as of late, he had been pushed into a lot of situations in which thinking heavily was required. Like having his convictions repeatedly questioned, or accidentally hurting someone's feelings because of not taking in the situation correctly. So Naruto had been thinking quite often, wondering what the marriage had in store for him in the future, or how he would fit the whole 'akatsuki trying to kill him' and the 'retrieve Sasuke from Orochimaru' in with the 'protect each other' mentality that he and his wives had developed.

Eisha saw the gears turning in Naruto's head and decided it might be best to leave the boy alone for the moment. So he quietly sunk into the rock without alerting the thinking lad.

Naruto hadn't really thought about his love life very often after departing from Konoha. With the new information that Kurotsuchi apparently liked him, he found himself wondering if he would mind it all that much. There were a whole slew of unknowns in the situation, and he knew that. He didn't even know what it was like to be in a romantic relationship, so he didn't know how to approach it. But he did know that he liked Kurotsuchi. He might not see her in a romantic light, but he liked talking to her, he liked the cycle of pranks that they had created, and he liked her laugh. But he didn't know if he loved her.

There was also the fact that even if they did date, it would be stranger still due to the fact that they live in the same house and would interact on a regular basis. He knew very little about how relationships worked, but from the little amount of it that he absorbed from TV and other media, he knew that people just starting in a relationship never interacted much outside of their dates. It was only until they came to the conclusion that they loved and wanted to always be with each other that they decided that it would be worth it to live in the same house and interact regularly.

Naruto sighed in exasperation and confusion. This wasn't something that he wanted to think about and he started to desperately search for some kind of distraction in order to escape from it. Mentally snapping his fingers, he searched his ninja pouch for a certain scroll. Obtaining it, he pulled it open and unsealed what was inside of it.

A small pile of about 5 books popped out of the scroll. When he had been on the way to leave Taki, Fu ran up to him and shoved the scroll in his hands, saying that they were the best books that she had ever read. Even knowing that he would probably be too busy training to sit down and read, he still graciously accepted the books and tucked the scroll into his pouch. Now that he had nothing to do and needed a distraction, the books were just the right thing for him.

Much like his status as a thinker, Naruto wasn't much of a reader either. He was a man of action after all, there was no time to be sitting and reading when he could be training. That being said, he needed a mental outlet, not a physical one.

He indiscriminately picked up a book and cracked it open to the first page.

Just outside training ground 111

Kurotsuchi was finally climbing her way up to training ground 111. On the way over, she decided to walk the way instead of running because of her need to think. Kurotsuchi came to the conclusion that she didn't really know what to do. Act on her feelings or don't, she seemed to be in between a rock and a hard place.

When she got there, instead of seeing a Naruto hard at work mastering the finer details of the jutsu that he was given, she found Naruto quietly reading a book while he was lying down on the ground with a languid expression on his face.

He hadn't noticed her presence yet, so she decided to do something about that.

Even if he wasn't a reader, Fu had been correct in saying that the books that she gave him were among the finer literate works. So he just shut off the world around him as he continued to get sucked into the book. Its main plot point was about an ordinary ninja who had been put on the same team as two successful prodigies who had connections in high places. The entire book was about him evolving as a person and a shinobi as he came to impossible situations that no ordinary shinobi should ever have to face.

And he continued to read until a sword slammed down inches away from his ear. Shrieking, he scrambled backwards to face the new threat that faced him.

The threat turned out to be Kurotsuchi who was barely able to control her laughter at his expression.

Naruto sweatdropped. 'Does she _really_ like me?' his ear was still ringing from the sword striking the rocky ground.

Naruto decided to test that out. He got up slowly with a big grin on his face and began to walk in the direction of Kurotsuchi. "You really got me there." He said, huffing a little in laughter. "But you know what Kurotsuchi?"

She was still giggling like a maniac when he stopped inches away from her. "What?"

He placed a palm on her cheek and remarked "You are the most beautiful person that I have ever seen in my life." He said with the straightest of faces.

She stopped giggling and adopted a facial expression that looked like she had been struck in the head by a shovel. Kurotsuchi then began to heat up to an uncomfortable degree, which Naruto was able to feel due to his hand still pressed to her face.

Not knowing what to do in the situation, she kneed him in the groin.

Naruto's eyes bulged out and he quickly keeled over in pain from the sudden painful contact on his baby makers.

"I-Idiot! Don't say those sorts of things!" she shouted out at him as soon as she regained control her verbal functions.

He screamed in agony as a retort.

Kurotsuchi looked down at him. He was rolling around in obvious pain. That couldn't feel good in way, shape or form.

She stood awkwardly on the side as he began to pick himself up.

"What was that for?!" he shouted.

"You were being an idiot." She said defensively.

"For complimenting you?"

She looked at the ground, not being able to meet his gaze. So maybe a knee to the groin was a bit much, but she didn't do it consciously. It was sort of like a body reaction to get him as far away from her as possible.

Kurotsuchi sighed in slight remorse. "I'm sorry, okay. For punching you this morning and kneeing you in the dick right now."

Her slightly ineloquent response still had an effect on Naruto. "It's okay. I should have just sucked it up and dealt with your snoring. But that was so not cool what you did just now."

She giggled at his exasperated tone. With a mischievous smirk, she asked "Whatcha gunno do about it?"

He smiled back at her. "Why nothing of course, my Tsuchihime."

She began to blush again, but made no movements to physically harm him. "S-So what're you doing?" she asked him

He looked down at the book that he lost the page number of. "I _was_ reading. Eisha kind of took off when I mastered the **"earth walking"** technique."

She looked slightly surprised at that. "You mastered **"earth walking?"**" she asked incredulously.

"Well not completely. I still need to learn how to take air down under. But I'd need some training in wind nature, or something like that."

Kurotsuchi nodded in understanding. "So what're you going to do now?"

"Well now that you're here, do you want to spar with kenjutsu?"

She groaned. "Nope. I'm still sore from yesterday."

"How are you sore?"

She leveled a glare at him "Not all of us can walk away from a 4 hour sword spar like it was nothing. Anyway, my muscles are sore, and my chakra levels are still low. So I'm not able to operate on optimal efficiency."

"So why are you even here?"

"Moral support."

Naruto laughed vocally at that remark. "You? Moral support? That's rich coming from the chick who just kneed my balls."

"I said I was sorry." She huffed.

Naruto laughed for a while longer. After it petered down, he asked "So what now?"

"Eisha's gone?"

"Mmhmm."

"Then it looks like training is over for today."

"Eh? But I have to train to get stronger to protect you and everyone else. I've also got to stop akatsuki and get Sasuke back. I can't take breaks!"

She gestured to the empty air around them. "Look and see all the people who give a fuck. I can't help you, and no one else can right now either. Thus, training is over."

Naruto looked up. The sun was still high in the sky. He sighed in defeat. "Okay, you win. What're we going to do now?"

"Well there is that princess Gale movie that just came out…"

"Koyuki's still acting?"

"Err, yeah. Why do you say her name like you know her?" the installation of the actress who had been under a pseudonym unto the throne of the now prospering Spring country had made a lot of waves in the shinobi world. Enough that the average shinobi at least had heard of it in passing.

"Because I do know her." He started walking out of the training ground and in the direction of Iwa proper. Kurotsuchi followed him.

"How do you know her?"

"It was my team that got her on the throne." He said boastfully.

"WHAT?! No way."

"If you ever get back to Konoha, ask anyone. They'll all say the same thing."

"I don't believe it. Not for a second."

"It's not right to ignore the truth."

"It's not right to lie with a bold face."

"I never lie, my beautiful wife."

She blushed and looked away again. It was fun messing with her. It was fun being with her. It was fun talking to her. It wasn't really fun getting physically abused, but he now knew that he just had to stay out of legs reach with her.

Naruto looked at her blushing face once again with a wistful expression. Maybe a relationship would be kind of nice. He shook his head to get rid of those thoughts. Whatever happened, happened.

The walk to the theatre was very pleasant to both of them. They both talked a little about their childhoods and what they had been doing recently.

Kurotsuchi had been taught proper etiquette and how to appear to the common populace in order to provide the appearance of the 'perfect royal child'. She wasn't really royal, but she might as well have been, and because her grandfather was someone who had the dust release, she had a lot of expectations running on her to survive to child-bearing age. Nobody had flat out told her that, but it was an unspoken expectation.

Their conversation had provided her insight on his childhood as well. She wasn't able to completely empathize with his situation, but she did know the pain of being expected to do or be something because of being in a situation that she had no control over.

She also got quite the round of laughter when he told her about his trip to Kumo, or more specifically, his fiasco of a date with Samui. Naruto got embarrassed, but was capable of laughing at it as well. Hindsight allowed people to do that.

Most of her days back had either been spent resting to get back on her feet from her debilitating injury, or training with her sword and quicklime jutsu, which shocked Naruto to know that she was a kekai genkai holder.

The movie was long, even by industry standards. Naruto had sat still the entire time through in rapt attention, and Kurotsuchi did her best to not burst out laughing at every other scene.

Needless to say, after they walked out of the theatre, they had conflicting views of it.

"That movie was soooo stupid." Kurotsuchi started out.

"What? How can you say that? It was soo awesome.'

Kurotsuchi laughed a little bit at that. "Oh really? _Quick Sadahama! Use your rainbow jutsu so stop Kikaru! _I wanted to laugh so hard when I heard that."

"What was so funny about that?"

She looked at him unbelievingly. "Really? You don't find _rainbow jutsu_ weird in the slightest?"

Naruto crossed his arms and huffed in annoyance. "You just had to have watched the others to get it."

"Nah. That movie was stupid. It had good acting, but it was stupid."

Naruto conceded to that point.

Kurotsuchi took note of the sun's position. It was a few hours away from hitting the horizon, but she was still stricken with a good idea.

"Wait! Before we go home, I have to show you something cool." Kurotsuchi did an immediate 180, and headed in the direction of the mountains that bordered the village to the east with Naruto in tow.

The walk towards the ranges descended into a comfortable silence due to the fact that Kurotsuchi was too busy navigating to be of much use conversationally. When they reached the base of the mountain, Naruto noticed a long and narrow staircase that went directly up the range. Kurotsuchi made for the staircase and Naruto almost questioned why they weren't wall walking up it, but came to the correct conclusion that Kurotsuchi must still be too drained of chakra to do much in that regard.

The stairs went a really long way up. Like, almost halfway up the mountain. Then there was an uneven path that went up even higher.

The uneven path eventually made it towards an outcropping of grayish stone that jutted out suddenly from the mountain side. The stone was artificially smoothed over on the top, for, he assumed, a better place to sit on. He knelt down to feel the strange gray stone that was out of place on the brown mountain, and came to the conclusion that it was actually cement.

Kurotsuchi sat down at the edge of the outcropping of stone and slowly undid the bandages that hid her hair from view. Naruto sat down next to her and asked "Why're you taking them off?"

"They're really uncomfortable, and nobody's here right now."

Naruto nodded. "So how was this all made?"

"Oh! I never told you what quicklime is, did I?"

Naruto shook his head.

"Well it's got to be the coolest kekai genkai in existence." Naruto looked doubtful at the claim, but allowed her to continue. "Quicklime is a corrosive powder, that when mixed with water, turns into instant cement. What makes it really cool is that it can be used as an attack, supplementary, and defensive technique. It also can't be affected by lighting jutsu because it's a mix of earth chakra, fire chakra, and water chakra." Naruto didn't know that lighting had adverse effects on earth based ninjutsu, so he filed that certain tidbit of information away. "So because I've got lava release, I can make outcroppings like this anywhere I go." She said with a smug look on her face.

Naruto sweatdropped. "Can't you do that with regular earth release?"

"Earth release isn't this comfy. It also crumbles away eventually when the chakra supporting it goes away. But since quicklime and water is a chemical reaction instead of a chakra reaction, it stays for days."

The sun was getting lower and lower on the horizon as they spoke. The sky quickly turned into a patchwork of different colors intermingling, changing, and interacting with the clouds in the sky. They both turned to look at the beautiful sunset.

The vantage point also gave them the perfect view of the village below them as the residential area turned different shades of pink and orange along with the sunset. It was a sight that rendered Naruto speechless.

"Listen Naruto…" Kurotsuchi started out.

He turned to look at her, but she wasn't able to make eye contact. "I kind of…" she seemed to be having internal conflict and deliberations about what she was about to say.

Suddenly bringing her head up to meet his gaze, she all but shouted out "I like you!"

Naruto blinked in surprise. "You… like me?"

She turned a healthy shade of red and quickly broke the eye contact. "You just… you piss me off a lot. You know that? You say things that get me embarrassed, you dyed my hair pink, and you crawled into bed with me without my consent." She paused, but looked like she was going to go on, so Naruto didn't interrupt her. "But you're the only person that I can prank, that I can call shithead, that I can talk to or go see a movie with. You're the only person who understands me" she reengaged eye contact. "And you're the only person that I like."

Naruto didn't know how any sort of relationship like theirs was going to succeed. He didn't know if it was a good idea to go along with it. He didn't know if she was right for him. But he did know one thing.

"I like you too."

At this point, they both had bright vermillion blushes. Naruto brought a hand to the back of his head as a sign of nervousness. "So what now?" he asked.

"Well… now we…." She leaned in closer to him with her lips slightly parted. Understanding the situation, Naruto leaned in as well until their lips met.

It was a chaste kiss at first, and after a few seconds, they pulled away from each other to look into each other's eyes.

Then they leaned in forward for another kiss.

Then another.

Then another.

Truthfully, Kurotsuchi hadn't planned on confessing to him at that particular point, and her only objective was to show Naruto the sunset. But the situation was perfect enough that her body began to speak before her mind could catch up to it.

But that didn't matter right now, because he liked her back.

Her lips felt soft against his and his lips felt soft against hers. The only thing that they could find anything to care about at that point was the person that they were kissing. All other things took a back burner for the moment.

Right now, Orochimaru didn't matter, Sasuke didn't matter, the whole akatsuki didn't matter, the whole world didn't matter to them.

The only thing that mattered to them, was them.

They remained locked in that embrace until well after the sun had finally set.


	20. the mist opportunities

Chapter 20

Mei is scary.

She's really fucking scary.

When Naruto met her for the first time, he found her countenance slightly disarming. She was always smiling and yet still somehow capable of showing her different emotions through the emotionally limiting facial expression.

But now he realized that that was the face that she put on when she was being a gracious diplomat to Konoha in order to foster future relations.

Now that she was in her element, namely being the commander in chief of a small army, he truly found out what fear tasted like.

As it was, he would be found in a larger sized tent, surrounded by shinobi who were no less than jonin level in strength, as they all argued and bickered over which higher up they could kill to produce the largest dip in strength in the hidden mist. At the head of it stood Mei. Gone was her carefree and slightly disarming smile, and in its place was a cold stare and perpetual frown marring her face.

Naruto wasn't capable of producing anything in the realm of discussion, nor was he capable of saying anything that might be insightful, nor was he capable of fighting whenever she sent out a platoon on a strategic mission. The only thing that he could do was to sit still and look exactly like the product of a diplomatic marriage. It was a strange feeling knowing that he wasn't able to do anything other than smile and respond courteously whenever someone addressed him.

There was a sudden lull in conversation. Apparently they all agreed on who to kill next and who would be the best to carry out the assassination. All the shinobi in the tent started to file out with the exception of Mei and Naruto.

Naruto leaned back and sighed in utter boredom.

Mei put on her creepily smiling visage once again. "What's wrong hubby?"

Naruto eyed her warily. From the small amount of time that they interacted with each other, he concluded that he never knew how she was going to react once she smiled like that. "Nothing. It's just kind of boring not being allowed to do anything."

"Well, I've got some free time. Want to train?" Mei knew that his main concern was getting stronger to obtain his goals, so she decided to help out in that regard. She was also aware that all her shinobi were running round like chickens with their heads cut off at the moment and nobody could be spared to help him.

"Hmmm… you know any kenjutsu?"

"You practice swordsmanship?"

He tapped the sword that was belted to his waist.

"Anyone can carry a sword around. Do you honestly wish to practice and become a shinobi known for his swordsmanship skills?"

Naruto eyed her warily once again. She sounded like she had something in mind with him. "I don't plan on getting good at kenjutsu to be known for kenjutsu. I just want to do it become stronger, so I can protect the people precious to me."

Mei nodded in understanding. She got up and walked the back of the tent and picked up a modestly sized storage scroll. Unrolling it on the table, she unsealed its contents, which turned out to be three very strangely shaped… things. "These" she gestured to the things that spanned the table "Are the 3 legendary swords of the seven swordsmen that we currently have with us."

Naruto immediately gave the swords the attention that their merit deserved. "Wait. So these are like the sword that Zabuza carried with him?"

Mei's face turned serious once again. "What do you know about Zabuza?" she asked severely

Naruto froze. Her suddenly changing from one demeanor to another was one thing, but the severity that she looked and addressed him with was slightly difficult to put into words. The only thing that he knew for sure was that he did not want anything to do with it. "He's dead." Naruto said quickly.

She sighed, sat down at the table, and adopted a dismal countenance. "I should have known. It's been months since he last reported in after all." She said with a tone that matched her countenance.

"Did you know him?" Naruto ventured.

"Know him? He was the main source of capital for the rebellion!"

Oh right. Zabuza said something about only taking the bridge job to raise money for the movement. "I'm sorry for your loss." Naruto said quietly.

She waved him off. "Don't worry about it, I never really like him much. You sound like you knew him, do you know how he died?"

Naruto nervously scratched the back of his head. "Well… he was on a job to make sure that a bridge was never finished, and my team was put on a job to make sure a bridge did get finished…"

Mei understood the hidden meaning in his words with little difficulty. "You killed him?"

Naruto waved his arms in front of him furiously "NO. It was my sensei."

She leaned back and sighed explosively. After a moment of silence, she asked "Do you have the sword at least?"

"It's at his grave."

"… I'll go have a team of genin shinobi retrieve it."

"But…"

She looked at him sternly. Naruto respected Zabuza. He didn't particularly enjoy being in the presence of the demon of the hidden mist, but he did believe that Zabuza should at least have his sword with him in the afterlife. However, the rebellion's army and standing force was small. It was mainly composed of jonin and chunin with kekai genkai, a few clans that put their full support behind the rebellion, and a few high ranking normal shinobi who took up arms for a fight for justice. So even Naruto knew about their need for military clout and moral support.

"Never mind." He said dutifully.

She nodded. "So, like I was saying before we got off on that tangent" he noticed that she had her disarming smile back on her face "These are the 3 blades of the seven swordsmen that we have in our possession. Obviously there are 4 more, but they're taken by Chojuro, Raiga Kurosuki, Kisame Hoshigaki, and the now deceased Zabuza Momochi."

"So you're letting me take one?" Naruto said with eyes wide. Even if he hadn't heard of the seven swordsmen before meeting Zabuza, he now knew of the great strength that they all possessed and was honored that he was being chosen to be given one such sword.

"Nope." She said with her still smiling visage.

Naruto's heart sank quite a bit. "Then why are you showing me these?" he whined out.

"Because these aren't just swords, they're semi-sentient beings. Some more so than others, but any one of these swords would reject you if they didn't like you. I only brought them out to see if any of them liked you enough that they would imprint on you. But that usually never happens."

Naruto wasn't quite as enthused at the prospect of being teamed up with a semi-sentient blade. "So they're alive?"

"Nope. There's only one blade that could be truly considered alive, and that's samehada, wielded by Kisame. The semi-sentience part only comes into play when one of the swords 'believes' that they would be best used by the person that touches them. They all require an extremely particular mindset and fighting style, so they almost never choose people unless the master of the previous blade passes it onto an apprentice that they have taught the ins and outs to."

Naruto nodded in appreciation. "So how were these things made?"

She laughed sheepishly. "We don't really know. They've been associated with the land of water for so long that we lost the records about their origins. But a lot of people suggest that the sage of the six paths created them."

Naruto trepidatiously approached the swords. There was a 'sword' that practically consisted of a large scroll and a sharpened slab of metal poking out of it. "What now?" Naruto asked.

"Just touch it. You'll know if it accepts you."

He did as was instructed, but couldn't feel anything special happen in any sort of way. Naruto moved onto the next one, which was practically just a huge hammer chained to a huge axe. He was met with the same success as the first one.

The last one was probably the most 'sword-like' of the bunch. It was a double edged sword with a long blade attached to a long handle. The sword was straight, and tapered off gradually to a very sharp point, giving it an appearance of a needle. When Naruto touched it, something strange happened. He felt his chakra being drained into the blade. Well, it didn't feel like the sword was forcefully taking his chakra, more like it was _accepting_ it. His chakra felt like it was falling into the blade as opposed to the sword trying to selfishly take it away from him.

His reaction to having his chakra being accepted in the blade made Mei's eyes widen in surprise. The Nuibari had only one swordsman in all of Kiri's history. It was a strange blade, and it called for a fighting style that was so unique that no shinobi other than Kushimaru had been able to successfully implement it.

"Oh my god." Mei remarked silently.

Naruto picked up the sword. It was a long sword that reached about 4 and half feet in length. That was almost as tall as Naruto was. Despite its size, it was almost impossibly light, and the chakra that it accepted and was still accepting into it gave it a bright blue sheen.

He gave it a few experimental swings with both hands first, then one hand. It could be successfully implemented either way.

Naruto gave Mei one of his patented foxy smiles "I like it."

Mei was dumbfounded. The showing of the swords to Naruto had only been an experiment, an impossibility, a one in a million chance of success. But the sword, for whatever reason, decided that it liked Naruto.

She got up silently and walked to the back of the tent and brought out an extremely dated scroll with the kanji for the name 'Kushimaru' on it. Handing it to Naruto, she said "These are the writings and teachings of Kushimaru Kuriarare. He never took an apprentice, so he wrote all that he learned about the sword down for any of the future generation."

Naruto nodded and took the scroll from Mei graciously. Looks like he had a sensei in the form of written teachings from a dead guy.

Just what he needed to spend the week with.

"I have got to go practice with this." Naruto said, still staring at the sword in silence. Looking up at Mei, he said "Thanks so much for this honor." And promptly bowed in front of her. After doing what the situation socially called for, he sped out of the tent in search of a clearing that he could use to practice his newfound sword.

"Be careful!" she shouted out at after her husband.

Somewhere in Tsuchi no kuni

"Grrhn" Kisame grunted under the weight that was pressed against his back.

He and his partner were taking a leisurely walk through a non-descript canyon on the borders of Tsuchi no kuni. Itachi seemed to be enjoying walking around and just taking in the scenery, but Kisame wasn't very keen to it at the moment. This mostly had to do with the giant object that he was carrying in conjunction with Samehada on his back.

The giant fish man glared at Itachi. "Why am I carrying this guy?" he asked laboriously.

"Because you are more physically imposing." Itachi said plainly.

Kisame stopped to reposition the man on his back so he could better carry him. "I get that. But can't we distribute the weight between us?"

"And how do you propose to do that?" Itachi said with no emotion present in his voice.

"I don't know. Aren't we supposed to be shinobi? Shinobi are resourceful!"

"You didn't answer my question."

Kisame sighed. "Why don't we… create a sling out of ninja wire and carry him together?"

"I don't have any ninja wire."

Neither did Kisame.

"Why don't we… summon some animals to carry him for us?"

"I'm not sure if ravens are the best at carrying large and imposing men."

Neither were sharks for that matter.

Kisame was getting peeved at this point. "Can't you just hypnotize him into walking himself?"

"He has to be conscious first for it take effect."

The man that Kisame was holding on his back was almost as large as Kisame himself. But what really made him difficult to carry was the ruby red furnace armor that he was sporting. Itachi eyed him blankly "Why don't you take off his armor?"

Kisame grinned humorlessly. "You haven't fought anyone who used furnace armor before, have you?"

Itachi was silent.

"They're usually rigged to explode whenever they come off. This guy's heavy, but I'm fairly certain that we need him alive."

Itachi nodded.

"How much longer to HQ?"

"About 10 more miles."

"AAAaaahhhheaauooouuuuaaahh." Kisame groaned out loudly. They had barely made it half a mile at that point.

This was not going to be a fun trip for Kisame.

Somewhere in the Land of Water

Naruto's eyelids were getting progressively wider the more and more he read into Kushimaru's scroll.

The Nuibari was a strange device. It was shaped like a sword and could be used in close quarter encounters, but its main use was that of a long-range throwing weapon. He hadn't noticed it before, but there was a hole at the pommel of the weapon that ninja wire spewed out of and could be tied to. Through a series of different applications of chakra to various points on the blade, the wire would either retract or extend further, allowing for someone to throw their main weapon at a person and have their weapon back in their hand with no inconvenience.

The scroll listed a myriad of ways that the weapon could be used and manipulated as a projectile, yet there was little to no mention of anything that had to do with close quarters. As mentioned before, Naruto considered himself a close-range shinobi, but the way that Mei had described the 'sword selection process' made it sound like the sword only felt like it could be implemented to its full potential by Naruto. This, logically, led Naruto to believe that he would be a natural at throwing the weapon around like it was supposed to be.

After carefully reading into the scroll about how to throw the weapon, where to push his chakra into to retract or extend the wire, and how to retrieve the sword in mid-air, he positioned himself in front of a tree, with one behind him as well.

Cocking his arm back like one would expect a javelinier, Naruto let the Nuibari fly at the tree undeterred. To his astonishment, the sword pierced directly through the tree and out the other side with very little sound of impact upon the large trunk. Bracing himself, he got a good grip on the wire that he was holding onto, and pushed his chakra into the wire in such a way that it traveled to the sword and instructed it to wind the wire back into itself.

The sword quickly came to the tree and back through the hole that Naruto made, but he accidentally made it wind the wire back into itself too fast. This resulted in a speeding and rapidly twirling Nuibari flying in the air at Naruto.

Crouching down quickly to avoid the likelihood of being impaled, he heard a soft thunk emanating directly to the side of his ear. Slowly turning his head to the side, he saw the Nuibari impaling the tree that he was standing behind at an awkward angle.

Naruto's heart was racing. He breathed heavily and fell to the ground on his ass. There was a drip of blood slowly falling down the edge of the Nuibari's blade. Raising a hand to his head, Naruto discovered that there was a small cut on his earlobe. It wasn't particularly deep, barely enough to even draw blood, but Naruto was freaked out greatly at the prospect that he nearly brained himself by training with the sword.

There was a rustling of leaves to his side. After turning his head to face the person who was making the rustling, his eyes widened in surprise at the perpetrator of the sounds.

"Heya brat. How's it going?" Jiraya said with a grin and a small wave.

Still on the ground, Naruto merely raised a hand to greet the perverted man.

Walking up the downed Naruto, he took stock of the situation. "Almost brain yourself?"

Naruto nodded.

"That the Nuibari?"

Naruto nodded.

'No sign of emotion on his face. Weird breathing patterns. Only vaguely aware of what's happening around him. Yup, he's in shock alright.'

Shock is a disorder that refers to the mentally traumatic symptom 'Acute stress reaction.' Shock occurs in a person whenever an emotionally or physically traumatic thing happens to them. It's a strange psychological disorder that when untreated could develop into far more severe forms of mental disorders such as PTSD. Along with that, it's also very difficult to treat with anything other than long term exposure to therapy.

Jiraya didn't have that time. so he opted to walk over to the downed Naruto, grab him by the shoulders, drag him up on his feet, and proceed to backslap him with a "Snap out of it" yelled at him for extra measure.

Never let it be said that slapping someone who's in shock to snap them out of it is a good idea. That being said, it had an immediate positive reaction on Naruto. Catching himself before he fell to the ground, Naruto righted himself and yelled at his godfather. "What was that for!?"

Jiraya placed both hands on his shoulders and said slowly "Are. You. Alright?"

Naruto nodded with a pout on his face.

Jiraya got up and said "Great. Now would you mind telling me how you managed to almost kill yourself?"

"I was training." Naruto said succinctly.

Jiraya deadpanned.

"Why are you here anyway? I thought that you had a spy network or something."

"Well considering that we're now allies with the rebels of the hidden mist, I thought it would be a good idea to share information while I had the free time. Then they told me that you got here this morning and that you were training in the woods with your new sword. So I thought it'd be a good idea to check up on you."

"Well… thanks I guess."

"Don't worry about it brat. So have you gotten anywhere in your bijuu training?"

Naruto looked at him strangely. "Bijuu training?"

Jiraya deadpanned once again. "Yeah, your bijuu training. The whole reason that you're on this training circuit is to properly learn how to control the Kyuubi's power."

"Well nobody told me that!"

Jiraya sighed audibly and muttered "I'm going to have to talk to someone about this" under his breath. Looking back at Naruto he asked "So if you're not training with the Kyuubi, then what have you learned so far?"

"Well… they taught me some kenjutsu in Kumo. Fu taught me some survival techniques and taijutsu. I learned this cool jutsu called** "earth walking"** in Iwa. And now I just got the Nuibari here, but it's going to be hard to train with." Naruto said dismally, remembering how he almost killed himself not moments before.

"Why don't you just use shadow clones?" Jiraya asked.

"Huh?"

"Why don't you use your shadow clones to you help you train with something that's potentially lethal?"

"How would that help?"

Jiraya looked at Naruto in disbelief. "Didn't Kakashi tell you about what shadow clones are?"

"I _know_ what shadow clones are."

"But do you know how to use them."

"I put my hands into a cross seal-"

"No" Jiraya interrupted. "I'm not asking if you know how to physically do the **"shadow clone"** technique. I'm asking if you know how to use them to their fullest extent."

Naruto was getting confused at that point. "I make them… and they help me fight?"

Jiraya pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. "Okay kid. I'm going to tell you all about shadow clones, so you better listen closely."

Naruto nodded attentively.

"The shadow clone technique is technically called a kinjutsu because when creating multiple clones, your chakra is split up evenly amongst all of them, allowing for you to die quickly of chakra exhaustion if you overstep your bounds."

"I know this already." Naruto interrupted.

"Shut up kid, I'm not done. Even though it's labelled as a kinjutsu, practically every jonin in Konoha and their dog knows the jutsu because it's just so damn useful. Everything that the clone experiences, you experience as well. Making it the ideal spying technique as well as the ideal training technique."

"I don't… get it." Naruto said with narrowed eyes.

Jiraya had been expecting this. "Since your shadow clone is made up of, and operates on, your chakra; once that chakra is returned to you when the clone dispels, you retain all the memories that they got in their lifespan. So if you sent a shadow clone to go spy on someone, even if they noticed that they were being spied on, they wouldn't be able to do anything about it because if they dispel your clone, all the intel that the clone managed to get would still get to you." Jiraya said slowly.

Naruto nodded his head. "I think I get it… but what does that have to do with training?"

"Everything that your clone learns get transferred to you. So if your clone accidentally brained himself, you would get all the knowledge of how not to brain yourself with all the perks of not being brained."

'Honestly, why didn't Kakashi tell him about that aspect of the shadow clone?' Jiraya thought mentally.

"Oh… OH! That's so cool!" Naruto immediately made a shadow clone and instructed it to go train with the Nuibari. The clone gave off a salute, grabbed the Nuibari, and ran away from the two of them so that they wouldn't get in harm's way of the needle blade.

Once a decent amount of time had passed in silence, Jiraya broached a new subject. "So kid, how's the whole 'wives' situation going?"

"W-What do you mean by that?" he asked with a light blush on his face.

He adopted a perverted demeanor. "Come on brat. _Something_ must have happened." Jiraya implied suggestively.

Naruto's pervasive blush told Jiraya all he needed to know.

Jiraya sidled up to his student. "Something _did_ happen."

"I-I guess." Naruto said bashfully.

Jiraya's eyebrows began to wiggle furiously.

Naruto sighed explosively. "Me and Kurotsuchi got together."

Jiraya's eyebrows ceased their wiggling. "What? The one from Iwa?"

"Yeah."

"And…"

"And what?"

"How far have you two gotten?"

Naruto blushed again and didn't answer.

"Oh come one kid. You can tell me."

"We've kissed."

Jiraya gave him a thumbs up. "Nice one kid. Only a week in and you've already got one of your wives head over heels in love for you."

"She doesn't love me!" Naruto said quickly and without thinking.

Jiraya quirked an eyebrow in confusion.

"I-I mean. We like each other… but I just… I don't… we don't…" Naruto was having a hard time putting what he was feeling into words.

Jiraya clapped a hand on Naruto's shoulder. "Don't worry kid, I was only teasing."

"I-I mean. I like her. I _really _like her. But…" Naruto trailed off.

"Love's a strong word?" Jiraya ventured.

"Yeah, I guess."

Jiraya chuckled a bit. "So my boy has finally started dating a girl. I'm so proud of him. Albeit, it took him getting married for it to happen, but I'm proud nonetheless."

Naruto chuckled a bit too. "Thanks pervy-sage."

"So how're your other wives doing?"

"Well… me and Yugito had a bit of a situation, but it's alright now."

"Situation?"

"Don't ask. Fu… well she's kind of crazy. But she's still nice, and she's getting more friends back at Taki."

"That's good. I imagine that she didn't have the best of childhoods, with her being a Jinchuuriki and all."

"No she didn't. It's getting better though. Kurotsuchi and I started going out."

"Any other details you wanna share with me about that?" Jiraya asked with a perverted leer.

"Even if I did, I wouldn't share them with you." Naruto said vindictively.

"Alright, alright. Buzzkill"

"I haven't been to Sand yet, so I don't know how Temari is. And Mei…"

"Yes?" Jiraya asked in great anticipation.

"I don't really know her, and I also haven't really interacted with her. So I don't know how she is."

"Well hers is the most 'diplomatic' of all the marriages, so I can see why you don't really know her."

Naruto nodded in agreement.

Jiraya got down on one knee to look at Naruto in the eye. "I'm on a limited time schedule, so I don't have much time to talk. That being said, I do need to give you something now that you've started dating." Jiraya's tone of voice was severe and serious, the same could be said for the look on his face. The perverted sage put on hand in his coat and brought out a book that read 'icha-icha tactics'.

Naruto knew what the book contained based on his interactions with Kakashi. But before he was able to voice his complaints, Jiraya shushed him. "I know that you don't like perverts, but that being said, there is absolutely _nothing_ wrong with feeling perverted feelings. _Everyone_ has some somewhere inside themselves. Now that you've started dating Kurotsuchi, you're going to start feeling some of those feelings. _This_" he gestured to the pornographic material "Is an outlet for those feelings to go through without you and Kurotsuchi doing something that could hurt either your relationship or the treaty."

Whenever Jiraya would try and convert Naruto into a pervert in the past, he always did so jokingly. This time however, he seemed completely serious in every way. Knowing that he was serious didn't stop Naruto from taking the book with huge amounts of trepidation.

Jiraya seemed to hesitate with saying the next part. "Last thing kid. With your training circuit and my spying network, I don't know when I'll have the time to see you next. So I'm going to say what I need to say right now." Naruto nodded in agreement. "When you and Kurotsuchi's relationship gets stronger and stronger, you're eventually going to want to have sex with her. When that happens and you want to make the next step, make sure that she is as ready for it as you are, and don't forget to use the contraception jutsu."

Naruto was flabbergasted. "Eehh? But I'm 13. I don-"

Jiraya held up his hand to silence Naruto. "Like I said. I don't know when I'm going to be able to see you next, so I thought it'd a good idea for you to hear this now as opposed to never." With that, Jiraya rose up from his spot of kneeling next to Naruto on the ground.

"I know that you're going to become a great shinobi if you keep on working at it. Just make sure that you keep in mind what I said about Kurotsuchi. It's one thing to train yourself into the ground in an effort to get stronger, it's a whole other thing to even try to understand how a woman feels."

"Erm, thanks I guess." Naruto said to the pervert, still not extremely comfortable with the prospect of sexual intercourse at that moment in time.

Jiraya departed from the woods, leaving Naruto in deep thought. Before he could crack open the book to see what's inside it, he winced in pain. The clone that he had sent off had managed to stab itself in the gut with the Nuibari. Naruto pocketed the book and went back to training.

8 hours later

Mei was starting to get worried.

It was once the sun had set and she still had seen neither hide nor hair of her newly wed husband that she started to wonder whether or not she should have sent someone along with Naruto to make sure that he'd be alright. The Nuibari was an extremely dangerous ninja weapon that was difficult to use, let alone master or train with. But until that point, she had been contented with the knowledge that the sword had chosen Naruto for a reason.

If he was severely injured or even managed to kill himself, there would be hell to pay with the Kiri rebels.

The tent that she was in was no larger or smaller than the average Kiri rebel tent. After all, sleeping in a tent that was twice as large as all the other tents would be a good tip off that someone important was using it as their temporary domicile. The contents differed very little from the common tent as well, but this had more to do with ease of transportation should they receive knowledge that they had to leave immediately. Inside the tent was a twin, folding bed; a plastic, folding table; and a sparse 'kitchen' area. The rebels were roughing it for sure.

Mei was about to get up and search for him herself when the object of her thoughts stumbled through the tent flap. Upon seeing her, he let out a relieved sigh "So this is where your tent is. I kept on asking directions for it, but I kept on getting lost."

Mei was very relieved that her husband was alive, but made sure to not let it show on her face. "So how was training?" she asked with her usual smile.

Naruto stretched out his sore muscles. "Exhausting."

"Mmm? How so?" he didn't seem all too tired.

"It was more… mentally exhausting that anything else." Naruto started looking around the area with a little bit of confusion.

"How is training with a sword mentally exhausting?"

"I had to use shadow clones because it was too dangerous – hey, is there someplace that I can change in privacy?" Naruto said, changing the subject.

"Hmmm, nope. These tents are built for one." Mei said with a smirk.

"Can I have my own?"

"A lot of people are sharing tents as it is. It also wouldn't send a very good message to the rebellion if its leader and her husband slept in different areas."

"Yeah yeah. One bed then?"

"Mmhmm."

He sighed in acceptance. "Can you not look for a second? I need to get in my pajamas."

"You wear pajamas to bed?"

"You don't?"

"I prefer to sleep in the buff."

Naruto sweatdropped. "I'd feel a lot more comfortable if you wore something to bed."

"Awww. Does my husband not like my body?" she asked playfully.

"It's not that. I just have a girlfriend, and I'm really sure that she wouldn't appreciate me sleeping with a naked woman."

Her facial expression went from playful to serious in a nanosecond. "Girlfriend? You do know that if you date outside your wives that you'll put this treaty in jeopardy, right? I don't mean to sound cut-throat about this, but the rebellion needs all the help from the nations as it can get-"

Naruto held up a hand to stop her from continuing to speak. "It's fine. Her name is Kurotsuchi and she's my wife from Iwa."

Mei's face morphed back from seriousness into playfulness. "So you _are_ okay with starting relationships with your wives. How incredibly bold of you."

"I-It's not all of them. Just her."

"What about the rest of your wives then? Now that we're married, you're the only person that I can have relations with."

Truthfully, Naruto hadn't really thought about that aspect of the joint marriage very much. "I'll deal with that problem when it's a problem. Not when it isn't. Now can you please turn around?" at that point, Naruto didn't want to think about any of that existential crap due his tiredness.

She turned her head away from him and started to undress as well. Noting that she was probably getting ready for bed too, he turned away from her and got out his pajamas from one of his scrolls.

When he was all dressed up for bed, Naruto asked "You done yet?" without turning around. After a moment of shuffling, she hummed a positive.

He turned around to see her in her undergarments. After averting his gaze, he asked "Really?"

"What? It's something."

"Yeah yeah." Although Naruto felt as though he could argue with her well into the night about the appropriateness of wearing underwear to bed with a person half her age and not yet sexually mature, he was far too tired to do so.

The bed, as mentioned before, was twin sized. It would definitely need both occupants to cuddle in some way in order to fit them both. "Do you want to be the big spoon or the little spoon?" Naruto asked nonchalantly.

Mei quirked an eyebrow. "For someone with a girlfriend, you don't sound very conflicted about sleeping in the same bed with another woman."

Naruto yawned. "It's just sleep."

"If it's just sleep, then why are you uncomfortable with sleeping with me in the buff?"

Naruto's eye twitched. "Okay. You want to sleep naked? Fine. I don't care anymore."

He walked over to the small bed and drew away the covers. "Big spoon or small spoon?" he repeated.

After a moment of deliberation, Mei replied with "Big." She opted to not get into her birthday suit, which Naruto was relieved about.

They got into bed with each other. Once they were all situated and comfortable, Naruto started to doze off into slumber.

With her arms wrapped around her torso, she sighed contently. "It's nice sharing a bed with someone."

Naruto was roused from his sleepy daze from her words. "Yeah it is."

Despite how late it was, Mei wasn't very tired. "Hey Naruto?"

"Mm?"

"You have a lot of… friends, right?"

"Yeah."

"What's… that like?" she asked in a moment of sincerity.

"Uhh… don't you have any friends?"

"Not really…"

"How can that be? You're so…"

"Yes?" she asked playfully.

"…Nice."

"Aww. Thanks sweety. But you do know why I'm the leader of the rebellion, don't you?"

Naruto's silence spoke for himself.

"I was born with two kekai genkai. Being born with once kekai genkai is rare enough in the shinobi world, but being born with two in almost impossible."

Naruto's eyes widened in surprise. "Two? Which ones?"

"Lava release and steam release. Anyway, since I was born with two very powerful kekai genkai, I was a shoe in for becoming the leader of the rebellion."

"Okay… how does this mean that you don't have any friends?"

"I don't know. I guess that people find it hard to befriend someone who's so high up on a pedestal?"

Naruto was silent for a while. "So you're alone?"

She sighed wistfully. "Yes. I suppose I am alone."

"I've… I've felt loneliness before. Actually, I've felt alone until just recently."

"Konoha doesn't like its Jinchuuriki?"

"No, I guess not. But finding a friend is like… it's like knowing that someone out there likes you, or hates you even. For me, friendship is when someone likes or hates you not because you have a demon in your gut, not because you have two kekai genkai, but when they do it because of you. The real you."

"And you have people like that in your life?"

"Yeah. The first person who recognized me for me, was my academy teacher. Then Sasuke-teme. Then Jii-san. It's nice knowing that someone sees you, for you."

"Hmm. I guess that I wouldn't know then."

Naruto didn't like that fact. "Mei?"

"Mmm?"

"I can't tell how you feel most of the time. I don't know why you switch from emotion to emotion so quickly or suddenly. I don't know why you're always teasing me. But I do know one thing."

"Oh?"

"You're nice. Even if you've been alone for a long time, you're nice. Even if you're the leader of the rebellion, you're nice. Even if you hold two kekai genkai, you're nice. I don't know a lot about you. But if you want to be my friend, I'd like to find out more." He said with a smile on his face.

Mei brought a hand up to his face and pinched his cheek. "Aww, my hubby says the nicest of things." She said in a playful tone.

While his cheek was still getting pinched, he asked "So?"

"So what?"

He swiped her hand away from his face and asked with a serious tone. "Do you want to be my friend?"

Mei was silent for a bit. Perhaps befriending her husband wouldn't be the worst of ideas. "I think I would like that. A lot." She giggled a little to herself. "Is this how you make all of your friends? Spooning with them in bed and giving a rousing and charismatic speech?"

Naruto giggled a little bit at that as well. "It wouldn't be the first time."

**AN/ thanks for all the people who gave good, well-thought reviews of my story. I've noticed a trend in the reviews stating that I should make the chapters longer, and after the next chapter I plan to do just that.**

**There's a lot of development here. Naruto gets the Nuibari. The akatsuki is proceeding with getting the tailed beasts. Jiraya comes by to give a speech about sex and perversions. And Naruto manages to befriend his wife from Kiri.**

**Tell me what you think about it. I've never read a story with Naruto getting the Nuibari, so I thought that I'd try it out.**

**gentlemankitsune: out.**


	21. the mist opportunities pt 2

Chapter 21

Naruto blearily opened up his eyes.

Sitting up from his position on the bed, he stretched his body out and let loose a wide, exaggerated yawn. After retaining that position for a satisfying few seconds, Naruto reached out to his side to find that Mei had left him alone in the tent.

Looking towards the only other piece of furniture in the tent, he found a note that read thusly:

_I have to report in to the commander's tent earlier than usual. You looked so peaceful as you slept that I didn't want to wake you up._

_I made some eggs for breakfast. Eat up and have a good day._

Indeed there was a small plate of scrambled eggs next to the note.

Naruto stretched out all the kinks from his system and got dressed for the day. It was kind of chilly out, which made Naruto weary of the fact that Yugito still had the upper part of his jumpsuit.

He sat down and started to scarf down the meal that Mei had cooked for him. Looking around, he found that the tent was strangely desolate. It was normally desolate, but to Naruto it was desolate of one thing in particular.

The Nuibari.

Eyes opening widely, Naruto started to visually search the room for any sign of the sword. He distinctly remembered coming into the tent with it in his hands at one point, but he couldn't for the life of him remember where he put it. Once he finished the meal of scrambled eggs, Naruto frantically searched the tent of anywhere that it might be hiding.

There was really only one other area that could theoretically hold the sword, and it wasn't there under the fold-out bed. The only conclusion that Naruto could make was that Mei had taken the sword with her for some reason. So he decided to seek her out at the commander's tent.

The commander's tent was easy to find because it was the only structure that differed in any way from the rest of the temporary domiciles. Naruto made a beeline straight for it, unknowingly getting strange looks from any of the rebels that happened to get a good look at his face.

The tent flaps were open, affording Naruto a view of what was happening inside. Mei was hunched over a map and surrounded by jonin level shinobi looking anxiously at her, waiting for her opinion on something no doubt. The Nuibari was directly in the middle of the table that they were sitting at, so Naruto decided to sneak over there and grab it while everyone's attention was directed towards something far more important.

Only that didn't go exactly as planned.

Once Naruto's hand had touched the hilt of the sword, Mei's head shot up to look at him with a piercing glare. Noticing that it was only her husband who was trying to touch the legendary sword, her glare lessened considerably.

"Hi honey." She said with an affable smile. By now all of the attention of the council of shinobi were directed toward him. "How's your morning been?"

Now that Naruto was put on the spot and getting mixed looks from a variety of powerful kekai genkai users, he got slightly nervous. "U-Uhh. Good? I was uhh… I was just getting the Nuibari."

"Oh yes!" Mei exclaimed with great exuberance. "We were just talking about that."

"Talking about what?"

"Well, I brought over the Nuibari so that I could show them" she gestured to the council "That it chose you. But some of them didn't believe me."

"I-It's not that." A nervous shinobi said from the side of the table. "We just find it strange that one of the legendary swords of the hidden mist chose your politically arranged husband from the hidden leaf as its new wielder."

"Well we'll just have to see about that, won't we? Naruto, if you'd please." Mei waved at the sword that he was still on the cusp of grabbing.

Sensing her desire, he picked up the sword by its handle and immediately felt his chakra being siphoned off into the blade. Although this time it didn't adopt a sheen of blue chakra around itself.

"It's happening." A rather portly shinobi said from the table.

"He's not just pushing chakra into it?" a kunoichi asked from his side.

"No. it's being siphoned off. I can sense it."

All of the ninja present gave him various appraising looks.

"So he really is its wielder."

"Isn't the Nuibari the most difficult to use out of all of them?"

"He must be related to a Kiri shinobi or something."

"Does he have any value as a military asset?"

Mei looked on with slight annoyance as the council members began to talk amongst themselves about the new development. Walking from her position at the head of the table and towards her husband got them all to immediately shut up.

"This." She said, clapping her hands on the shoulders of her husband. "Is my husband. His name is Naruto Uzumaki. He is a proud shinobi of the hidden leaf. He is also the new wielder of the legendary blade Nuibari. As far as I know, he has had no ties to Kirigakure before our union. He will work hard to perfect the techniques that were passed down to him by Kushimaru Kuriarare. But he will not work on any missions that might place him in any risk of harm."

"Hey" Naruto said in indignation.

Mei placed her index finger on his lips, effectively quieting him. "It's not that I don't think that you're strong enough, it's just because you're too important to not only the rebellion, but also to the rest of the elemental nations that I'm not going to even consider sending you out on potentially lethal situations."

Mei described the situation is a logical and fair way, but that didn't stop Naruto from pouting. "Okay." He said dejectedly.

"Good." Mei said with her usual smile.

Naruto began to pull away from her grip, but he was held firm in place.

"Mei? I need to go train."

"Okay honey, but come back for lunch."

"Yes ma'am." He tried to pull away again, but she still didn't let go.

"And don't stay out until nighttime."

"Okay." She still wouldn't loosen her grip.

"And be careful."

Naruto was able to twist out of her grip this time. "I'll be careful. I promise." He turned to run to the woods where he practiced the day before.

"Honey…"

Naruto turned around slowly with an exasperated look on his face.

"Aren't you forgetting something?"

Naruto looked at the Nuibari that he was holding. Then back at her in confusion. Her arms were stretched out wide, sending the signal that she wanted a goodbye hug.

"Erm." Naruto walked over to her tentatively and encircled his arms around her waist. She bent down to pull him into a tight embrace. It was a warm hug. Not warm in the way that she was uncomfortably temperate, but in the way that she put genuine emotion behind the hug.

She pulled away from him, but only after giving him one final squeeze. "Have a good day honey." She said to him, beginning to walk back to her spot at the head of the table.

The last glimpse of her that he received before walking away from the tent was her face turning back from the carefree face and into a face that spoke of severity.

Somewhere around earth country

"UUhhgg. Where the fuck is this guy?!"

"Keep your voice down! You might start a rockslide."

Deidara levelled a glare at his partner. "That's only with avalanches. You can't create a rockslide using only your voice."

"You think I give a fuck? Shut your mouth, or I'll turn you into a true piece of art." Sasori retorted.

Deidara sighed into the palm of his hand. "For the last time, true art is a momentary glimpse of awe and splendor. Your little 'puppets' don't hold a candle to my true works of art."

Sasori shook his head. "Art is an expression that can be held for the future to look and behold for generations to come. Your little 'explosions' can't even compete-"

A rock shifted on a ledge to their left. They both leapt away from the ledge and into battle ready positions, ready to face any foe that might come their way.

Too bad for them that the foe that they were presented with was merely a mountain goat that was unlucky enough to meet two of the very few S-ranked ninja in the entire elemental nations.

Deidara smirked at Sasori's outer shell. "Looks like we're having goat for dinner tonight."

"I don't eat."

"Looks like I'm having goat for dinner tonight."

Despite Deidara's words, he didn't make any move to brutally kill the offending animal that was looking at the two of them with slow, wary eyes.

"Well?" Sasori growled out.

Deidara sweatdropped. "You got a kunai?"

"None that aren't poisoned."

"Well I can't exactly kill the thing with an explosion."

"Sounds like a _you_ problem."

"Well how am I going to kill it?"

"You're a shinobi. Punch it to death or something."

"That'd ruin the meat."

"Then snap its neck."

"That thing isn't going to let me near it."

Sasori looked at Deidara with emotionless, unfeeling eyes. "You're a shinobi. Shinobi are resourceful."

The mountain goat jumped away from the two of them while they were bickering over the ways to properly kill it. Deidara sweatdropped once again. "Sometimes I wonder about that, yeah."

Sasori began to walk in the direction that they were walking in at first. "Come on, we're losing daylight."

Deidara followed him. "Why are we looking for the four-tails again?"

"To seal it away." Sasori replied simply.

"Yeah, but why are _we_ looking for it? Our abilities aren't exactly tracking oriented."

"Zetsu looked into it. Apparently he's around here."

Incredulous, Deidara threw his arms around him to show off the ridge that they were walking on. "'Around here' is a pretty vague term."

"Complain if you want, but I'm not going to go against Leader-sama's orders."

"We've been at this for weeks! Yeah. How long are we going to keep at it?"

Sasori's interest was drawn to the sky. There was a hawk circling above them. "Not anymore. It would appear that one of the other squads got one."

Deidara too looked up at the circling bird and groaned pitifully. "Does that mean we have to go back? We're going to lose all our progress?"

"What progress? You said it yourself, we've only been wandering around a big ass mountain range for a few weeks with no signs of anybody being here. The only thing that happened in that time range is that you complained for days on end and were defeated by a mountain goat."

Deidara pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. "I didn't get defeated by a mountain goat."

"A mountain goat walked up to you, you wanted to eat said mountain goat, the mountain goat got away. You were defeated by a mountain goat."

Deidara looked at Sasori with no small amount of ire. "I could have killed it if I wanted to."

"But you didn't. It got away. Now let's head back, it's a long ways away." Sasori immediately turned around to head in the direction opposite that he was facing.

"How far away are we from the nearest hide out? Yeah"

"About 50 miles."

Deidara groaned out loudly and started to complain.

If Sasori's eye could move it would have twitched violently. This was going to be a long trip for the both of them.

Rebel camp, surrounding forest

Despite the fact that Water country was situated on a large archipelago, there were still large amounts of sprawling forests situated in the island chains. These large forests are known for being temperate in nature and hosting large amounts of strange indigenous flora and fauna. As it was, walking around the twisting trees and looking for a clearing to train in was almost impossible.

Naruto had been lucky in finding a clearing to practice in the previous day. So because he didn't remember where the clearing was, he had to waste large amounts of man hours trying to find a suitable location to practice with the Nuibari.

The twitter of the birds in the trees was almost deafening to Naruto's ears. The variety of flora and fauna also attracted a large variety of birds and other animals to the forested areas as well.

Naruto stopped and looked about him. There was nothing as far as he could see, only trees, rocks, and roots were visible to him. He would probably have to scale a tree again in order to find the camp in time for lunch.

The sound of birds stopped suddenly. Even Naruto, as dense as he was, knew that when animals started behaving strangely for seemingly no reason, there was always a reason. He started looking around him for any sign of abnormality. It was a good thing that he did too, else he would have been crushed to a pulp by a falling tree trunk.

Dashing to the side of the falling trunk, he immediately shot back up and looked to the direction that it fell from to find a source. The tree that fell was tall and he only evaded the upper part of the tree, so as he looked to the source of the tree's destruction, he was only barely able to make out a faint blue-ish outline of a person.

"OI!" Naruto shouted at the blur. It was no use however as the birds once again began to chirp up a frenzy, drowning out his voice. Hopping up on the tree, Naruto made his way to the blur and soon was able to make out the person that the blur was composed.

It was that guy. The guy that came with Mei to Konoha when he first met her. His name was Cho-something.

"OI!" Naruto shouted once more when he reasonably close to the teen.

Chojuro started violently at the sound of Naruto yelling at him. Whipping around to face the sudden intruder, Chojuro sighed and sank to his knees in relief.

"Oh, it's just you Naruto-san." He huffed a few breathes of precious oxygen and forced himself up onto his legs once more. "You scared me."

"I scared you?! You scared me! This tree almost crushed me!" Naruto hopped down from the massive trunk to face his fellow swordsman.

Chojuro immediately adopted a nervous and apologetic demeanor. "I-I'm sorry Naruto-san. I thought that everybody was out on missions or down-time. I didn't think that there would be anybody else out here."

Naruto eyed Chojuro critically. The swordsman was so nervous that he wasn't able to properly face Naruto.

The blonde sighed in exasperation "It's fine." Naruto turned his gaze towards the base of the tree, which had been cut though halfway and left to fall over under its own weight. "What did you do to this thing?"

Chojuro brightened up a little at the change in subject. He brought to attention the giant sword on his back by grabbing it by both handles and hefting it out of its large holder. "I'm the wielder of the Hiramekarie. It's one of the swords of the seven swordsmen. I'm able to hold a lot of chakra in the blade and discharge all of it in one go to manipulate it in different structures. I used it to cut a gash in the tree and push it over."

"Wow. That's really cool." Naruto said with raised eyebrows. "Can you do it again?"

Chojuro rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Well, it takes a lot of chakra to manifest the item that I wish and… well… it's also really heavy." Chojuro replied nervously.

Naruto waved him off. "It's fine then." He looked around the field once more. It was wide and open, allowing for the perfect place to train in the use of his legendary sword. "You mind if I train here too?"

"Uuuhh sure. I'm just going to be doing some strength training and chakra expansion exercises. I hope that I don't get in your way."

Naruto created a clone and handed off the Nuibari to it. The clone ran off to the middle of the clearing with Kushimaru's scroll in tow in order to practice some of the exercises mentioned in it. "I'll join you then." Naruto said, hopping off the trunk to face Chojuro.

"But. Weren't you going to…" Chojuro trailed off and looked in the direction that the clone went off to.

"My shadow clone passes off all the knowledge that it gets in its lifespan to me once it dispels. Pretty cool right?" Naruto said boastfully.

"Er, yes I suppose. But wouldn't it make more sense to make a lot of clones and have them train all at once?"

"I… guess. Maybe, but for some reason the sword doesn't duplicate with the clones."

"Oh. I see."

"So what's your regimen?"

Chojuro adopted a sheepish look once more. "Well to start, I…"

2 hours later.

Naruto hit the ground with a small thud and didn't get up.

His chest was heaving, drawing in large amounts of air to sustain his body. Chojuro collapsed right next him, also heaving.

Naruto had something that most would rightfully call endurance. Endurance is a term used to describe an organism's ability to persevere under physical trauma under long periods of time. This does not mean that he is fast like Gai or Lee. This does not mean that he is agile like Anko or Yugito. And this does not mean that he is strong like Chojuro apparently was. This means that he is capable of operating and fighting under large amounts of pain, physical trauma, and hardship. But even he has a breaking point. The breaking point being extreme strength training.

Once Naruto was capable of breathing regularly, he rasped out. "Your training is really intense."

Chojuro sat up and calmed his breathing. "Thanks, I guess. You did a lot better than I thought you would. Do you train in strength very much?"

"Sometimes. Not much though."

"Huh? Must be your 'Uzumaki vitality' then."

"Uzumaki vitality? What's that mean?"

"You don't know about your clan?"

"My clan is special?"

"Well yes. We at the rebellion employ many shinobi who have a lot of different kekai genkai. Even though we don't have any with us, everyone knows about the Uzumaki clan."

Naruto sat up with great effort. "What's so special about the Uzumaki?"

"They don't have any kekai genkai per say, but nearly every single one is reputed to have lived much longer than the average person because of a reputed 'vitality' as well as having a large affinity towards any sort of sealing jutsu."

Naruto winced in phantom pain. Another one of his clones had managed to kill itself with the Nuibari. Naruto quickly spawned another one and it hobbled off in pursuit of the sword.

Chojuro watched it wander off with slight interest. "Why do you want to strength train anyway?"

"Huh?"

"Well, Kushimaru was reputed to have only been able to use the Nuibari to its fullest extent because his body was extremely thin, lanky, and agile. You won't gain very much ability in swordsmanship if you train in strength."

Naruto groaned out loudly and sank back to the ground. "Now you tell me?"

"I'm... sorry. I thought that you already knew."

"…You know any speed programs?"

"Sorry. The Hiramekarie is best utilized through a large amount of strength training. I don't know anyone who specialized in speed at the camp."

'Speed and agility huh? I'm going to have to talk to the Bushy Brows' for help on speed. For agility… I don't know.'

"Hey Chojuro?"

"Yes Naruto-san?"

"What's vitality mean?"

"it's… practically a synonym for endurance."

"So I'm able to fight for as long as I'm usually able to because I was born an Uzumaki?" Naruto asked with a slightly saddened tone. He always thought that his arguably best combat asset came from personal ability, not birth.

"You are only half Uzumaki if what Mei told the rebellion is accurate. I'm not sure how much of your vitality comes from birth and how much comes from your own willpower." This comment brightened up Naruto, if only slightly.

The sun peeked from the canopy to glare directly in Naruto's eye. It was almost directly above them, meaning that it was about noon-ish.

"You said that Kushimaru was able to use the Nuibari because he was so thin and lanky right? Does that mean that I won't be able to use it to its full potential?"

"… I don't know much about the Nuibari, but it's just the way he used it that made him renowned. There are a lot of body modification jutsus that can help make one thin and lanky, but those usually backfire immensely. I still doubt that the Nuibari would benefit from strength training, but perhaps you could make your own style of using it that compliments your body structure."

"What about you then?"

"What about me?"

"Well… you're not a 'big' guy. Your body structure isn't really suited to your sword much either right?"

"The Nuibari has only had one owner, so nobody knows much about how its best used. We only have Kushimaru on which to base our conceptions of it on. But the Hiramekarie's many users suggest that strength is the best way to go with it. So I'm going to continue with my strength training."

"Huh. Makes sense I guess." Naruto stood up and stretched his very sore muscles.

"So what are you going to do now?"

Naruto stretched his back far enough to the side that it popped several vertebra. "Mei said to come back for lunch."

"I see. Have a good lunch then."

"You wanna come too?"

"Uhm… no, I've packed a lunch." Chojuro took out a scroll and unsealed a bento.

"Cool. I'll see ya in a bit then." Naruto said, starting to walk off in the direction of where he presumed the camp was.

"You too." Chojuro called out after him

Half an hour later.

Naruto knew that there was something wrong with the tent that he shared with Mei, but didn't feel like venturing inside to find out what.

Directly outside of the tent stood the bed and the table with its assorted portable kitchenware on top. Meaning that something was going on in there that required enough room that all the things that propagated the tent had to be placed outside of it

"Anybody in there?" Naruto called out.

"Ah, Naruto." Came the muffled voice of Mei. "It's fine, come on inside."

"Err… okay…" Naruto hesitantly opened the flap of the tent to find Mei bathing in a large, circular hole in the ground that was filled up with steaming water.

"Mei!" Naruto cried indignantly, while covering his eyes.

"What? Close the flap, you're letting all the cold in." Mei said nonchalantly.

He dutifully stepped inside and let the flap close behind him. "Can you please stop doing things like this?" Naruto said, referring to her rather… open attitude when it came to her physicality.

"Things like what?" Mei asked playfully.

"Things like wanting to sleep in your underwear with me."

"I told you, I can't sleep comfortably any other way. And I'm the leader of the rebellion, I need my sleep."

Naruto sighed, still covering his eyes. "Or things like not announcing that you're bathing in our tent. How did you manage to do this anyway?"

"I used an earth jutsu to lower a cylindrical plot of earth downwards, then I filled it up with water from a Boil release jutsu."

"Boil release?"

"You might have heard it called corrosive release, or steam release. They're all the same thing."

"So that explains _how_ you did it, but _why_ did you?"

"Why did I what?"

"Why did you make a bath inside our tent!?"

"It's bath day."

"It's noon."

"This is my only free time… Okay, one sec." Naruto heard assorted splashing sounds come from Mei's direction. "I'm covered now"

He lowered his hand from his eyes. Indeed, Mei had covered herself with a towel from a small stack of them on the ledge to her back. "Come on in. the water's fine."

"I thought that I was coming over from training for lunch."

Mei also produced a bento box from the ledge behind her.

Naruto didn't feel very many qualms about bathing with another person. So long as she was covered, he didn't have a problem with it. But he still wanted to get back to training, so a bath in the middle of the day would be a rather moot point. "I can't, I've still got to go train after this."

"I thought that your shadow clone did all the training."

"Well… it does, but…"

Mei wasn't going to take no for an answer. "Naruto, you're training really hard. I can sense that. But a bath isn't going to hurt you, especially if you're not going to be working up a sweat for the rest of the day."

Naruto stewed in deliberation for a while longer before finally saying. "Fine. I guess it wouldn't hurt."

Mei smiled at him and tossed a towel in his direction, which he caught with little trouble. "Don't look." Naruto commanded.

Mei closed her eyes and turned her head to the side. After a bit of sounds of clothe running on skin, she heard Naruto tentatively dip his self into the warm water.

Mei opened her eyes to find Naruto sighing to himself as the warm water soothed his aching muscles and washed the scent of sweat away from him. Once a few moments of heated bliss passed for the married couple, Mei waded over with a sponge in hand. "Hey sweety, mind getting my back?"

Naruto looked at the sponge with a critical eye before taking it in hand and wading behind her. She unwound the towel from her back to allow Naruto access for sponging. Not knowing how hard to press the sponge into her back, he started out gently lathering her back first.

Mei started humming in contentment at the ministrations of her underage husband. Frowning, she said "You don't have to be so gentle."

Naruto took this as the affirmative to press the sponge harder into her back. Roughly sponging her back made her once again hum in pleasure. The humming made Naruto slightly uneasy, but he didn't stop so as to avoid an awkward confrontation.

He continued to slide the sponge on her back in an effort to thoroughly clean it. Her back was toned and muscled, completely devoid of any fat or unattractive quality. Her entire body, in fact, was toned and lean. It the body of a kunoichi whose job it was to maintain oneself physically. She was a very attractive woman. As he continued to scrub her back, he felt strange sensation in his nether regions. His phallus was swelling with blood in arousal. Naruto had gotten boners before, but never in such close physical contact with another person, making him very nervous and more than a little embarrassed.

"MMmmmm… I think that's fine. I'll do you now." Mei said, wrapping her towel once more around her back. Naruto nodded dully and passed the sponge off to her. Luckily enough, the water was misty from the natural minerals that came with boil release jutsu, so his arousal wasn't apparent to her.

He presented his back to her for scrubbing. She began to lather his back much like her did to her at first. Her gently using the sponge to scrape his back clean from sweat and grime had a pleasuring effect on him. Despite his aroused state, the pleasure that he felt from her ministrations were not erotic in nature. He didn't have anything to attribute the feeling to, but anyone with a parent would attribute the feeling to when their mother would rub their backs. It was relaxing.

Naruto felt his muscles lose their tension almost immediately as she continued to rub his back with the cleaning implement. His body let out a groan against his will.

"Having fun are we?" Mei said teasingly.

Naruto turned a dull red at the jab, before hesitantly asking "Hey Mei, is it wrong to feel…" Naruto trailed off, not finding the words to describe his feeling.

"Love?" Mei finished his sentence for him when he seemed incapable of finishing it himself. "Naruto, of course it's okay to love Kurotsuchi. I know that it may seem kind of overwhelming, but-"

"No, it's not that." Naruto interrupted her. "Is it just… is it wrong to feel…"

"Hatred?"

"No."

"Jealousy?"

"No."

"Lackadaisical?"

"What even is that? No."

Mei scrubbed away mindlessly at Naruto's back in thought at what Naruto could possibly be feeling. Figuring it out, she almost slapped her forehead out of her own stupidity. "Oh I know… You're feeling horny aren't you?"

Naruto turned an even duller red and started to splutter out refusals incoherently, but Mei quickly silenced him. "Of course it's okay to feel horny." She replied with slight enthusiasm.

"But- I just… I know that the pervy-sage said that it was okay, but…"

"Naruto… you're at an age where your hormones are starting to go wild in your body. Frankly, it would strange if you didn't feel horny every once and a while."

"But… what am I supposed to _do_ when I am horny?"

"Well, I'm not a proponent of casual sex, so I'd suggest that you masturbate to abate your lust."

"Well... what about now?"

Mei's eyes grew extremely wide in surprise. "You want to masturbate now? I don't know if-"

"NO." Naruto said quickly. "I mean… if I'm horny now, then does that mean that I don't actually like Kurotsuchi?" Naruto asked quietly.

Mei lightly bonked Naruto on the head. "Of course not. Arousal is an out of mind experience. So just because you feel arousal at another person, it doesn't mean that you're in love with that person, or not in love with another."

It felt strangely comforting to Naruto the way that Mei explained sexual feeling towards him. Despite what Jiraya said to Naruto about the subject, it didn't impact him the way the way that Mei's words did. She was a comforting presence beside Naruto, it felt to Naruto like he could to talk to her in faith about things that he was confused about. Unknown to him, she was starting to fill a sort of pseudo-mother role to him.

"Thanks Mei." Naruto said in relief.

"For what?"

"For talking to me about this kind of stuff."

"It's fine. After all," she peered around his back to look at him straight in the eye with a smile on her face. "We're friends right?"

He smiled back at her in response. "Yeah. We're friends."

Mei waded over to her original position at the ledge and grabbed the bento box. As she swam over, she took off the lid and tossed it back to the edge. Inside the container was some fried riceballs, a few sushi slices, and some assorted vegetables and meats. There was also only one set of chopsticks.

She grabbed the chopsticks and swam over to Naruto. "Sweety, open up." Mei used the chopsticks to pick up a sushi roll and hold it up to her husband.

Naruto sweatdropped. "I can feed myself you know."

"Oh? If that's how you want to do it, then okay." Saying that, she gave the bento and chopsticks to him.

Naruto gratefully received the bento and began to feed himself from its contents. "Uhh." Mei grunted. Naruto looked up to see her with her eyes closed and mouth wide open. She opened her eyes to see Naruto's confused expression. "There's only one bento and one set of chopsticks you know. I'm hungry." She said with a pouting lilt.

Blushing a little bit, he grabbed some food from the container with the chopsticks and raised it slowly to Mei's lips. Just as she enclosed her mouth around the food, an extremely agitated rebel burst through the tent flaps with an urgent expression on his face.

"MEI-SAMA" he shouted out. "THE MIZUKAGE IS HERE" as if on cue, an explosion was heard off in the distance.

Mei went back into her leader persona and jumped out of the water without a moment's hesitation. "Where is he?" she ordered out to her subordinate, still with a mouth full of food and naked from the bath.

There was another explosion in the distance. The shaking shinobi wordlessly pointed out in the direction of the large explosion.

"I'll go engage him. You" she pointed at the unnamed shinobi. "Help out in way that you can. You" she pointed at Naruto, who was getting out of the bath. "Stay here, and don't die."

"Fuck that shit. I'm coming with you."

"No you aren't." she replied sternly. "I'm your wife and it's my responsibility to protect my husband."

"Well I'm your husband and it's my responsibility to protect my wife!" Naruto shouted at her loudly, disregarding her nakedness. Now wasn't the time for perverse thoughts.

Mei looked at him with a conflicted expression on her face. Right now, she couldn't waste any time arguing with her husband, but she also couldn't let him get killed. Naruto got up from the water, naked as well. "I'll be fine. I have to help."

"RRggg. Fine. You go with him." she said, pointing to the unnamed shinobi. "And make sure that he doesn't die."

"Okay, got it. Follow me!" the shinobi shouted at Naruto. Naruto bent down and grabbed a kunai from his clothing pile while hastily wrapping a towel around his waist.

"Got it!"

A shinobi battlefield is a very different thing than one on one shinobi fights as he soon realized. For one thing, there was only chaos within the fights. No time to think, no time to see, no time to move. People died indiscriminately when they didn't do any of the three mentioned things. A lot of people died

Another thing that he realized is that towels don't like staying wrapped around one's waist while its occupant was fighting.

The official Kirigakure shinobi that were fighting the rebels also moved far differently than any normal person. Their movements were jerky and robotic, they also were only capable of fighting a single person at once it seemed. Not only that, but they didn't seem to be able to register pain and attacked with a suicidal passion.

The scariest things about them were their faces. Expressionless, unmoving, untalking, unscreaming. Even when one was impaled by a lance of rock, he continued to try and attack the person who impaled him with an expressionless gleam in his eyes.

That doesn't mean that they were invincible like Hidan. Once they had a vital organ punctured or they lost enough blood, they fell over on the ground and didn't get back.

Naruto witnessed Chojuro come into the fray whilst swinging his huge blade around like a club. Cleaving through the shinobi that got in his way through merit of physical impact trauma and a slightly dull edge only.

That kid was _seriously_ strong.

Naruto formed another rasengan in his hand with the help of a clone and charged into the fray next to Chojuro. He used the rasengan to blast away a shinobi that had managed to sneak up next to the blue-haired teen and promptly used the earth walking technique to sink away into the soft earth in an effort to get away from the scene. Chojuro looked around for the sudden help and came up empty. His attention was pulled away when another suicide shinobi ran up to him with a katana.

Naruto surfaced a ways away from the fighting and started heaving for breath immediately. At the academy, they taught that getting one's first kill might come to them as a shock and gave them a variety of exercises that would prepare them for it. Naruto however, didn't feel anything as he killed the Kirigakure shinobi. They weren't acting like people, they were acting like automatons. Another strange thing about the battle is that the Kirigakure shinobi were losing, badly. Anyone would be able to see that continuing to fight would mean certain death to those involved and yet, they continued to.

The kekai genkai shinobi had been startled at the tactics that the enemy had used at first and lost a lot of good shinobi to that, but they quickly regrouped and began to slaughter the offending shinobi in droves, in herds. Like they were so much cattle.

"Boss!" a shadow clone of his that was still clothed walked up to him. In his hand was the Nuibari. Naruto took the handle of the sword from the clone and looked back at the battle.

It was happening all over the camp. The kekai genkai shinobi were quickly wrapping up the battle with the Kirigakure shinobi.

It had taken about 10 minutes in total for all the shinobi to be killed like lambs to slaughter. Naruto had managed to incapacitate a few with the some coordinated rasengan blasts and kill a few more with his kunai.

"What happened?" the confused clone asked Naruto.

"No idea, but it's over now I guess."

The clone dispelled before it could see a geyser of lava shooting up in the air near a wooded area.

'Mei.' Naruto thought out. Naruto was naïve in many respects, but he knew that if he went and joined the battle, he would probably be a hindrance to the fight. He had to check though, he had to make sure that she was okay.

Naruto ran off to see the battle.

Naruto landed on a tree just out of reach from a strange mist. Inside of the cloud of influence, everything was getting corroded down to its basest of levels. Trees were falling down, corroded at the root; rocks were getting turned into poisonous slime; and the very soil itself was getting turned into a toxic swamp. Not exactly the most pleasant of areas to be caught in.

Although, even with all that the toxic steam was able to do, Naruto saw blasts of water dragons, strange coral structures, and lava streams burst out of the cloud every so often.

Every time that a lava stream exited the cloud, Naruto's heart soared. Every time that a coral structure materialized, his heart dropped.

"Tch. Didn't think that the shinobi would stall for so little time." a voice said from directly to Naruto's side.

Naruto twirled around and brought the Nuibari directly up the perpetrator's throat. "Who are you!?" Naruto asked with a surprised tone of voice.

The man, for his merit, seemed very surprised at the situation as well. He was wearing a black cloak with red clouds on top of it along with a plain white mask that only had one hole on it, obscuring the entirety of the stranger's face. "Woah woah woah… Wait, you're the nine tails' Jinchuuriki? Why are _you_ here? Why are you naked?"

'This guy's akatsuki.' Naruto deduced from the cloak. Naruto answered the strange man's question by attempting to behead him. But his sword only went through air as it seemingly cleaved the man's head off.

"Is that the Nuibari?" the man continued, not even noticing the murder attempt.

'Genjutsu huh?' Naruto brought the sword down and graced his shin with a small cut, just large enough to induce a pang of pain on his person. Once the pain subsided, Naruto again attempted to cleave through the man's head and was met with the same level of success.

"What are you doing out of Konoha? Did you go rogue?" a scream of a hawk took his attention away from Naruto. The man just ignored him at this point. 'I can't take him, not if I have to wait longer than a few days to expel him from Kamui. Not only that, but thanks to the rebellion leader's steam ability, I can't get a good gauge of her skills. This has all been a waste of time.'

Obito looked at Naruto fruitlessly swing his sword through Obito's nonexistent body. 'Is being naked a rebellion thing?'

With that last thought, Obito sunk down into the tree and out of Naruto's swinging range.

Naruto huffed out in slight exertion. 'That was weird.'

His attention was returned once again to the mist. It seemed to be destabilizing, which allowed Naruto to head inside to look for Mei.

"MEI!" Naruto shouted out.

The amount of destruction that was left behind by the attack was staggering. His feet squelched in the mud. He had to jump over decaying trees and cooling lava pools. He had to make sure not to touch the destabilizing coral constructs out of fear of what might happen to him.

"MEI!" Naruto shouted out once more.

He heard a groaning sound to his right. Naruto ran over to where the groaning was being pitifully whimpered from and came to the position of looking down on a fallen Mei. She had a large tree trunk resting on her torso, not letting her get up.

"Oh shit!" Naruto grabbed the trunk and tried to lift it up, but it was far too heavy.

She coughed feebly and blearily opened up her eyes. "Naruto… *cough* stop it. It's done. It's over."

"No it's not! You are not going to die. Not here. Not on me!" Naruto stood up straight and spawned huge amounts of shadow clones. They all bent over and grabbed various parts of the fallen trunk. "LIFT!" the original belted out. Using chakra to supplement their strength, they pulled upwards with as much strength as they had.

It was no use. They weren't strong enough.

"I'm not done yet!" Naruto spawned another load of shadow clones who all took up positions right next to or under the other clones. "LIfT!" The original belted out once more.

The trunk lifted infinitesimally. The original fell to the ground where Mei was and grabbed her by her armpits, then pulled her out from under the trunk through the extremely small gap.

Her torso was a bloody mess, her ribcage looked slightly deformed, and there was a shard of coral jutting out of her thigh.

All of the clones dispelled at once, making Naruto sink to his knees in exhaustion. He used too much chakra with that stunt.

His body impacted the ground right next Mei. He used _way_ too much chakra with that stunt.

Naruto couldn't keep his eyes open. He couldn't find the will to breathe anymore. He couldn't feel his arms or legs anymore!

"Mei…" he whispered out.

Her breathing hitched. She had registered his word.

"Thanks."

The last thing that remembered before passing out was a veritable stampede of feet in their general direction.

**AN/ There you have it. Chapter 21.**

**Okay, I have some announcements:**

**As stated in the last chapter, I'm going to be creating chapters of larger sizes. This however is going to slow update progress.**

**I'm also probably going to work on creating some other stories that have been pervading my mental capacity as of late.**

**Last thing, I'm not sure how many of you noticed, but my profile is rather bare. I'm looking to fill it up full of things, but I can't think of anything (I refuse to copy paste the 100 man laws, or the 100 murphey laws that every author and his/her dog seems to have)**

**You have any ideas on how to go about that, put it in the review, or PM me.**

**Have a gentlemanly day.**


	22. the dessert in the desert

Chapter 22

Temari spit out the cereal that she was eating out of shock. "You what?!"

"What the fuck Temari?" Kankuro shouted. The mushy bits of half-chewed cereal had gotten dangerously close to hitting him.

"We got together?" Naruto repeated in response to Temari's surprised reaction. "Is there something wrong with that?"

"No. it's just… I thought that she hated you."

"I thought so too."

"Are any of you going to clean that up?" Gaara asked dispassionately.

"So what made her like you?" Temari asked, ignoring Gaara's question.

"How should I know?"

"Because you two are together now. Don't you talk about your feelings with each other?"

"Do we talk about our feelings? No. Why would we do that?"

"Because that's what people do when they're in relationships."

"Have you been in a relationship?"

"…"

"Exactly, there's not a whole lot of talky feely. We mostly just have fun."

"Doing what?"

"You know… training, movies, rock climbing, rock sledding."

"Rock sledding?"

"Oh yeah, don't rock sled. Ever."

"Why?"

"It's not… a pleasant experience."

Kankuro decided to but in. "So you two are just going to ignore the mushy bits of cereal on the counter?"

Naruto spawned a clone and told it to clean up the mess.

"So how far have you two gone?" Temari asked.

"Gone where?"

"You know, gone together." Temari implied suggestively.

"That… doesn't clear anything up."

"She's asking for the level of physical interaction that you've had with each other." Kankuro stated.

"What?"

"Kankuro!" Temari shouted at her brother.

"What? He's a 13 year old orphan. He doesn't understand your terminology."

"Hey! I take offense to that. And why do you want to know how far we've… physically interacted?"

"Because we're talking about your relationship with your girlfriend. Of course it would come up."

"I still don't understand why we're talking about my relationship."

"Just answer the question kid. She won't stop until she knows."

"You're one year older than me. Don't call me a kid."

Kankuro grunted out an affirmative.

Naruto looked at Temari. "We've kissed."

"Really? When?"

"When she confessed that she liked me."

"When was that?"

"The second day of my arrival in Iwa."

Temari smirked in amusement. "When we meet up again, I'm going to tease her so hard about that."

"Do what you want." Naruto said grumpily, getting back to his cereal and milk.

"Okay, so: you've learned kenjutsu in Kumo, where you bonded with Yugito; then you learned survival skills, taijutsu, and kenjutsu with Fu, who's slightly deranged; then you went off to Iwa, where you learned some jutsu and got together with Kurotsuchi."

"Uh-huh."

"So what happened in Kiri?"

"Ummm… first, I'm apparently the chosen user of the legendary sword Nuibari, because it chose me and now I'm allowed to use it in battle."

"So that's what that thing was." Kankuro said.

"Mmmm. After that, there was a raid on the rebel camp by the main forces."

"Holy shit, are you okay?" Temari asked.

"Yeah. A lot of people died though. Mei almost died too when she fought Yagura, the Kirikage."

"Then what?"

"Well… when the fighting with everyone else was mostly over, I went over to check on Mei. They were still fighting when I got there, but when it was finished, Mei had been stuck under a log. So I had to get her out of it. It was a big log. Like a _big fucking log_. So I had to use a lot of shadow clones to get her out of it. Almost died doing it, but the Kyuubi saved me."

"How's Mei?"

"Her ribcage caved into itself, there were a lot of pretty deep cuts, there was this weird coral thing that grew into her leg, and she was exhausted beyond belief. She survived, but was still unconscious when I left."

"Wow."

"Yeah. Then I got teleported here and I'm eating…" Naruto picked up the cereal box that was next to him to see the name of it "Ninja bits."

"Pretty wild story. Maybe I should married off to 5 chicks from 5 different nations. My life definitely wouldn't be as boring as it is now." Kankuro brought into the conversation.

"Yeah, because almost dying because I had to lift a fucking a log is such a better alternative than being bored."

"Gives you a good story to tell. You can't deny that."

"… I guess not."

"So I'm still fuzzy on what you two're supposed to do here." Kankuro said

"Foster relations between the two ninja villages of sand and leaf." Temari replied automatically.

"I've got that much, but how're you supposed to do it? Date loudly in public? Train together? Make me a little niece or nephew?"

"Don't even joke about that Kankuro." Temari said with a deadpan.

"I'm serious. What are you two going to do?"

"I wasn't forced to date the other 4. Yugito was away on a mission for the majority of the week, Fu took up camp outside of the village, I'm dating Kurotsuchi because I like her, and Mei is the leader of the rebellion so contact is usually sparse. I don't think that anybody expects us to date each other."

"So what are you going to be doing here for the majority of the week?"

"Back at Kiri, Jiraya said that the whole reason that this circulation between the villages was so I could learn how to control the Kyuubi." Naruto glanced at Gaara. "But I don't think that I'm going to be able to do that here. Gaara's situation and my situation are too different. I guess that means more training with the Nuibari."

"Well, let's see. You've got kenjutsu under your belt, taijutsu, ninjutsu, survival training. Do you have anything else? Genjutsu or elemental affinity training?"

"I don't do genjutsu, and I'm not sure what my affinity is."

"It's always good to at least be able to detect and dispel genjutsu, even if you don't want to specialize in it. You should also learn your affinity. Who knows? Might be wind."

"I doubt it." Temari said. "Wind jutsu users are pretty scarce around Konoha."

"Never hurts to check." Kankuro replied.

00000000

"I'm assuming that you've heard the news?"

"You're damn right I have. Why haven't they contacted me yet? And why did it take so long for the information to here?"

"You know why. Information still takes quite a while to travel around."

"… Are you sure that he's okay?"

"From what Raido said, he was in perfect health."

"Chakra exhaustion is something that is not shown on the exterior. If he's not checked out soon, there could be debilitating consequences down the road."

"He said that Naruto was running around in perfect health. In fact, if what Raido said was true, then Naruto was more concerned with Mei than anything else."

"You're sure that I can't help?"

"Raido did make it perfectly clear that you'd be more than willing and capable of healing her, but they turned it down."

"Tch arrogant fools."

"Tsunade…"

"What Jiraya? What? You know that they're being unreasonable. What if she dies? That would turn the whole treaty into rubble."

"You know as well as I do that if she dies, then he'll just get married off to some other kekai genkai holder. Maybe one that's his age this time."

"But still, she's an incredibly useful war asset that is capable of matching the mizukage in open-armed combat. Are you sure that I can't just show up and heal her quick?"

"From the extent of her reported injuries, not even you would be able to 'heal her quick'. And maybe you _could_ just teleport there unannounced and heal her up, make everyone happy and nice with each other. Or maybe you teleport there and everyone sees it as a major insult and the treaty is over for good. No matter what, if we just wait to see what happens, the treaty will stay in place."

Tsunade sighed and leaned back to rub her temples. "I don't like this."

"If you did, then I'd have you checked in for an appointment with Inoichi."

"Is there any other news?"

"Han, the Jinchuuriki of the 5-tails, hasn't reported back to iwa for a while. We think that he might have been taken by Akatsuki."

"Is iwa taking the threat of Akatsuki seriously now?"

"Not that I know of."

"Rrrrggg. Why do people have to be so unreasonable?"

"They're the ones who've done the most business with Akatsuki in the past. I guess that they don't want to provoke them, or lose their standing."

"For christsake, Onoki's granddaughter was almost murdered by one of their members."

"Akatsuki's playing the ignorance card."

"Mmmm. What about the rest of the nations?"

"Kumo is tightening control on theirs. Suna's Jinchuuriki doesn't really leave the village as it is. Iwa isn't even in contact with their other Jinchuuriki. And Kiri's Jinchuuriki are either the kage, or missing."

"What about Taki?"

"Well… From what I can tell, their Jinchuuriki has been outside the safety of their walls for quite some time now, but they don't plan on calling her back in."

"And why not?"

"They're afraid of Akatsuki coming over to wreck their shit."

"That won't do at all. She needs protection. See if we can take her in."

"…We could do that…" Jiraya said in a way that meant that he had something else on his mind.

"Or…"

"Or we could just send her to Suna to be Naruto's traveling companion."

"She's still learning how to control her Jinchuuriki, correct?"

"Yes."

"Then it'd probably be beneficial for both of them to be able to compare notes as they travel together. Since Taki probably wants her protection as well, it shouldn't be seen as an insult like what might happen if I head to the rebel camp, right?"

"If my understanding of human psychology is correct, then yes."

"That doesn't exactly instil confidence in me." Tsunade said in deadpan.

00000000

"What does this mean?" Naruto asked. There were two pieces of paper in Naruto's hand that used to be one, until he channeled chakra in to them that split it directly down the middle.

"Well I'll be damned. You have a wind affinity." The jonin said. "That means that you won't need me."

"What?"

"Look kid, the only reason why I was called here is because I have a good understanding of the first stages of elemental manipulation in all 5 elements. Since you have a wind affinity, you could ask nearly any jonin here and they'd give you a far better comprehension of your element."

"Do you have any suggestions for a teacher?"

"Why not your wife? Despite her age, she's one of our most accomplished wind manipulation specialists."

"Okay, I'll do that. Thanks for the help I guess."

"No prob." The sand jonin said, while performing a sand body flicker.

*meanwhile*

Another sand jonin was looking Naruto over from head to toe, obviously not very impressed by what she saw. "So you're a clone?'

The clone nodded. "Yup. Anything I learn is transferred to the original when I'm dispelled."

"Can genjutsu's dispel you?"

The clone shrugged.

She sighed in annoyance. "Might as well get started then. My name is Nazo no Sakkaku. I am the most accomplished genjutsu master in all of Suna and I am here to teach you about the art of illusions. Or at least how not to get killed when confronted by them."

"Right."

"Do you know the basics of how to dispel genjutsu's?"

He shook his head.

"How to detect genjutsu's?"

He shook his head again.

"How to cast genjutsu's?"

He shook his head once more.

"Do you know what a genjutsu is?"

"Yeah. I'm not stupid."

"Enlighten me then." She replied sarcastically.

"Genjutsu's are… when… you distort reality."

"Wrong. Nobody can distort reality. The reason that this is called the art of illusions is because we change the personal reality of people, making them think what's happening is what's not happening or vice versa."

"So you can change how people think?"

"Nope. We can only change how people perceive things to be true."

"So if I use genjutsu, I can make people think that they're being chased by a big blue jelly bean?"

She leveled a hard stare at him. "Yes. But if anybody worth their weight as a shinobi saw that happening, they would dispel your shitty illusion immediately."

"Why? Didn't you say that genjutsu makes people perceive different things to be true? Then if they saw a big blue jelly bean coming after them and thought that was the truth, then wouldn't they just run away?"

Nazo pinched the bridge of her nose in irritation. "Perhaps I didn't phrase that correctly. It tricks what people sense to be true. But people can perceive it to be false."

Naruto scratched his head in confusion. "I don't… I don't understand."

"For example:" she went through a short set of handseals and shouted **"Ethereal body."**

Naruto started back in fear. Somehow another head that was identical to hers grew out of the first one. "What the fuck?"

Both heads sighed into their palms. "You don't think that this is real, do you?" both heads asked in sync.

"It looks real." Naruto with eyes wide in fear.

"Exactly. It looks real, but do you really believe that there are two heads growing out of my body."

"I'm going to say no, but only because I think that's what you're getting at."

She dispelled the illusion, much to the relief of Naruto. "When you are going throughout your day and you notice something that does not make any sense, you are supposed to try and dispel it. That's the detection and dispelling of genjutsu."

"I guess that makes sense, but what if there really is a big blue jelly bean chasing me around? It'd probably not make a lot of sense to stop what I'm doing to try and dispel it."

"But a big blue jelly bean chasing you around wouldn't happen."

"Okay, what about seeing a giant slug, a giant snake, and a giant toad all try to kill each other? What about seeing a guy regenerate a hole in his stomach? What about seeing a guy turn into a sand Tanuki? Things that don't make sense and aren't supposed to happen, happen."

"I take it you haven't fought very many genjutsu users?"

"…Not really."

"The best genjutsu are subtle. Things that the person affected can expect to happen. Like tripping on a root in a forest. If they feel something impact their foot, they stumble, even if they didn't hit anything. Not only that, but only the most skilled of genjutsu users would try to make something as impractical as giant summons fighting each other seem real. There are too many things that might seem fake about it, like if a toad was tossed into a copse of trees and the genjutsu user didn't make you see the copse flattened."

"So if genjutsu detection is all about seeing things that don't make sense and countering it. What do you do if you see something that does make sense? Like stumbling on a tree root."

"You hope that your teammates are there to help you up."

"Is that it? Nothing else?"

"Well, the way that genjutsu works is by subtly changing the opponent's chakra flow. So if you are or have a skilled sensor on your team, you can become aware that your chakra system is being affected and you can do something about it."

"Sounds complicated."

"Other than fuinjutsu, genjutsu is the most complicated of the ninja arts."

"I don't like complicated things."

"Then that sucks to be you kid, because sometime down the road, you're either going to be saved from it, or die from it. So might as well get used to it so the latter doesn't happen."

"I got it, I got it. So if I'm supposed to be looking for things that don't make sense in order to detect the genjutsu, what am I supposed to do to dispel it?"

"Gather all up a large amount of chakra, channel it through your system, then release it in one go."

"Sounds simple enough."

"What gets most people is that they might not be fast enough to dispel it, or they might not detect it. That's all that genjutsu is really, just delaying the enemy long enough to the point where you can safely walk over to slit their throats."

"So how do I know when I'm good at dispelling and or detecting genjutsu?"

She grinned sadistically at him. "A lot of practice."

00000000

"So you understand what you're supposed to do?" Temari asked in slight concern.

"Yeah yeah. I got this." Naruto said, shaking his limbs to and fro to try and get psyched out a bit for the training exercise that he was going to go through.

"You sure? Because it's really important to keep a calm head."

"Don't worry. I'll do great."

"If you say so." Temari said ominously. She immediately unsheathed her war fan and unfolded it to the first star. After finessing the correct amount of chakra into the handle of it, she swung it forward to unleash a blast of wind soaring over to Naruto's direction.

Naruto instinctively knelt down to minimize the amount of wind that would hit him and thrust his palm forward to knead his chakra as quickly as he could. Just as a slight shimmering of chakra emerged from his hands and formed into a vertical line, the blast of hot air hit him directly and shoved him 6 feet away regardless of the line of chakra that he made.

"Are you okay?" Temari asked from afar.

Naruto begrudgingly got up and spit the sand out of his mouth. Being outside and in the desert helped cushion his fall, but the heat was killing him. "Are you sure that there isn't an easier way to learn wind manipulation?" he said, drawing back to his recent position.

"Oh there are loads of easier ways to learn wind manipulation. But you said that you wanted the fastest…" Temari drawled off with a smirk on her face. Perhaps she shouldn't be enjoying this, but seeing Naruto get sent flying into a dune never got old.

"Yeah yeah. Whatever." All of his psyche had vanished the moment he hit the dune behind him.

"Hey, look on the bright side. Two hours ago, you got hit 7 feet back. Now you're down to 6ish."

"How can you tell the difference between such small increments in measurement?"

"I just can. Now get ready again." Temari couldn't hold her amusement in and it manifested in a full blown smile.

"Oh! I knew it. you are so enjoying thi-" Anything that Naruto might have been able to get out was dashed as soon as another blast of wind hit him directly in the torso and sent him flying much farther than he would have if he was kneeling.

Temari winced a bit at the crater that formed from Naruto's impact. "Ouch. That's going to leave a mark."

"YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT IT FUCKING IS!" Naruto shouted out from his position is said crater.

"You heard me?" Temari asked nonchalantly.

Naruto grumbled out his response incomprehensibly as he climbed up from the indentation in the sand that he was in. Climbing up sand is hard, as he would soon find out.

*several hours later*

Naruto got himself back up from yet another small indentation in the sand.

"Hey, I think that we should stop for now." Temari said with slight concern. That kid just did not give up when it came to training.

"What? No. I've got to keep on going." Naruto replied breathlessly.

"If you keep on going, the only thing that you're going to accomplish is death by sunstroke. Now come on."

"But…"

"So help me God, I will club you across the head with my fan and carry you back inside the gates if I have to." She said, hefting her fan once more.

Naruto deflated. "Okay." His stomach growled out in a wanton lust for anything edible at that very moment. "What's for dinner?" Naruto asked pitifully.

"Whatever Kankuro makes. Now come on." Temari started to walk off in the direction of her home village with Naruto in tow behind her.

00000000

"Are you fucking stupid or something?" Kankuro asked gruffly. When Naruto and Temari had made it home, it was discovered that Naruto had severe sunburns all across his face, arms, legs, and most of his torso.

Naruto hissed in pain as more lotion was rubbed on his body by his loving and not-so-gentle wife Temari. "Hey! I never had to put on sunscreen back home. I didn't even know that was a thing."

"You've never heard of sunscreen?" Temari asked in wonder, really rubbing the lotion into his back. Had to make sure that it penetrated deep after all.

"RRRRggg. That hurts so much. Why didn't you say anything when we were training?"

"I didn't notice it. The sun was too bright."

"AaahHaAahh. You really get off on seeing me in pain, don't you?"

"I wouldn't go so far as to say that I derive sexual pleasure from your suffering" Temari paused to add some more lotion onto his arm, making him hiss in pain. "But I would be lying if I said that it wasn't really funny."

"Yeah, so fUUNNyy. Just the most fun in the whole wide world." Naruto replied sarcastically.

Kankuro snickered a bit at his remark. "You know, if you didn't make it so amusing to see you in pain, she'd probably stop it."

"So it's my FAUlt that she's hurting me? I have half a mind to report you for domestic ABUse."

"You have half a mind? That's more than I expected out of you." Temari remarked.

If it weren't for the fact that Temari was behind Naruto, he would have glared enough holes into her to make her into swiss cheese.

"Oh come on. You set me up for that! It would be a loss if I didn't capitalize off of it." Temari said with a smile.

"She's right you know." Kankuro said.

"RRggg. I'm tired of this." Naruto got up and took the lotion away from Temari's hands and started to apply the rest himself. "So what now?" Naruto asked in between winces.

"I don't know, nor do I care. You can't go outside with sunburn, not until it peels. So you're staying inside."

"What am I supposed to do?"

"Why should I care? Read a book, take a nap, learn how to balance a kunai on your face. I don't care." With that, Kankuro retreated to his room to tinker with his puppets some more.

Once the sound of a door closing hit Naruto's ears, he turned to Temari and said "Your brother is pretty impersonal."

"That's kind of his MO."

"MO?"

"Modus Operatus. It just denotes how he is or how he does things."

"Oh. So do you have any ideas about how to spend the time?"

"It's 7:30. At this point I would usually get ready for bed and read a book."

"Sounds good I guess. Where am I sleeping?"

"You're bunking with me."

"And you're… fine with that?"

"So long as you keep to your side of the bed, we should coexist just fine."

"Fair enough." With the lotion covering Naruto's burns, moving was slightly less difficult. So he was capable of heading to the bathroom to get changed into his pajamas. When he got out of it he was met by Temari, who was wearing a black onesie.

"Yo. Follow me." She said flatly. Naruto nodded and fell in step behind her.

Her room was… plain, for lack of a better word. The walls were made of sanded down sandstone, as was custom here he found out. Her bed was queen sized, large enough that two people could sleep comfortably on it without touching. There was a nightstand, a dresser, and a small closet. Other than that, it was bare of anything that Naruto would usually associate with a girl's room. No mirror with make-up laying around it, no discarded clothing around the room, nothing.

Temari took notice of Naruto's expression and guessed (correctly) what he was thinking. "What were you expecting? When he was around here, my dad wasn't really a fan of extraneous material goods."

"Extraneous?"

"It means extra."

"Well why don't you just say extra?"

"Because extraneous also means not needed." Temari walked over to her bed and plopped on the left-hand side of it.

"I still don't see why you have to say it like that." Naruto said while walking over to get himself covered in the sheet of the right-hand side of the bed.

"It gets the point across better."

"If someone has to wonder what you said, then it didn't get the point out good at all."

"Well."

"Well what?"

"Then it didn't get the point out _well_ at all. You really need to work on your eloquence."

Naruto gave her a hard stare. "Now you're just saying things to make me feel bad about my intelligence."

"What do you mean by that?"

"You keep on using big words to confuse me."

"I haven't used very many big words at all."

"What about eloquence? What does that mean?"

"Eloquence isn't that large of a word…"

"It's bigger than a lot of words out there."

"Oh please Naruto. You don't have to be such a quidnunc about everything." At this point Temari was on the verge of losing it.

"You. Made. That. Word. Up." Naruto said, enunciating each work individually for emphatical effect.

"You have quite the pernicious attitude." Temari barely got out without laughing.

Naruto picked up the book that he got from Fu and busied himself with reading from it. Temari took this as a sign of him not wanting to converse anymore, so she brought out a book of her own to start reading from.

About 30 minutes passed this way, but Temari soon found it difficult to concentrate on the words that she read. Her eyes looked at the words, but they did not register in her head. Once she realized that she read the same paragraph nearly 5 times in a row, Temari put down her book and looked at Naruto, who was reading intently.

"Why are you staring at me?" Naruto said without looking away from the book.

"I'm not staring, I just happened to look your way."

Naruto dog-eared the page on his book and closed it. "I guess that I won't be reading anymore."

"Awww why?"

"Because I just know that you are going to bug me and I'm not going to be able to read."

"Suit yourself. I was just looking over to see if you were tired enough to go to sleep."

At the mention of sleeping, Naruto's body instinctually yawned.

"Well I guess that answers my question." Temari said with a smirk. She turned to her side to click off the light that was on her nightstand, bathing her side of the room on darkness. Naruto did the same with his and started to get comfortable in bed.

It was his first day in Suna and he had been picked on, made fun of, gotten a horrible sunburn, and was repeatedly knocked down during his training with wind jutsu. Most of those problems stemmed from Temari, but he didn't have it in him to feel any ill will towards her.

At least she knew how to have fun. Naruto respected that.

00000000

Omake

Deidara's eye twitched.

He was annoyed. Very annoyed.

The reason for his annoyance stemmed from the bingo book that was in his possession at the moment.

The new edition had his page on it detailing his strength, height, affiliation, ex-affiliation, chakra natures, known jutsu's and or tactics that he made use of, all down to his blood type and eye color.

But they added something else too. Under the notes section of the book was the usual, but a little something else.

_Deidara is known to have a fantastical affixation on the concept of art and uses his explosive techniques to make it, often times saying "Art is an explosion"_

_Is said to have helped in completely destroying a small nation._

_Is completely psychopathic_

_Has been defeated by a goat_

**AN/ Okay, so story time:**

**Once upon a time there was an author that said that he'd make chapters that were longer than the usual five-thousand or so words. But unknown to him, he didn't feel comfortable doing so.**

**It wasn't an uncomfortable that denoted that he was morally or ethically against it. No, he just found that trying to lengthen the usual word count made the story feel unnaturally padded out and disjointed in nature. So now he has to go back on his word to make larger chapters and release the usual length that he is used to.**

**Sorry.**

**On another note, I made a new story. It's called When signing a contract, always read the fine print. It's my take on the videogame storyline and I feel like its start is much better than this one's start.**

**So read it. 'cuz it's good.**

**As always, have a gentlemanly day**

**(PS. The omake idea originated from Lovin It. thanks for the idea) **


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